Friday, January 25, 2008

Ted C Blind Item

Slurpa Pop-Off’s pups may not always escape their closets, but her exes are frolicking out one by one. One of Slurpa’s old boudoir conquests obvs needed something a little more in the sack—like eight inches more, as he’s been known to tryst with transvestites since bustin’ up with sexin’ Slurpa. Another one of SPO’s past and most precious "dating" pets, Purcell Poke-Me, is spotted regularly at a hole-in-the-wall gym on Beverly Boulevard. (Not mine, you heathens!)

PPM lives to tone his totally taut bod with personal training seshes early in the ayem. Boy looks completely cut and coiffed—all for naught, perhaps, since the once superpoppy PPO’s poster-boy days are pretty much dunzo. Or so it would seem. Nevertheless, Purcell puts on quite the show, stretching out on the mat oh-so-intimately with his equally arduous and good-looking trainer as the gym bunnies gawk 'n' gawk. Smell-it-all mattress word reveals that Slurpa’s former flame boffs the dudes right 'n' left and hits the bars in Boys Town (and their mostly man-filled gyms) when visiting this coast, throwing drinks back with WeHo’s finest in a way most straight men are not exactly wont to do.

Is Purcell going to be the next Lance Bass to come pirouetting out of the closet? His well-manicured mane says yes, but his well-known mucho macho aggression suggests otherwise. Slurpa’s been known to toe the bi-line herself. Maybe these two should replay the charade all over again?

44 comments:

kharding said...

Parasite Hilton & Nick Carter

Kinsey said...

Slurpa is def...
1. Hollywood Ebola
or
2. Britney the idiot

I bet Purcell Poke me is the Pizza boy that swedish Alex guy! I always got kind of a weird vibe from him...

SeekHer said...

There should be a stiff fine for this much alliteration in one post.

Ah, Ted C! I remember when you were just lowly Bruce Bibby with a West Village apartment, a shelf filled with all 20 volumes of the OED, and a burning desire to be a writer. Were did it all go wrong?

p m said...

we already 'know' this is Paris. I'm guessing Nick Carter.

littleoleme said...

My Lord I hate how this man writes. Seekher I agree with you. Let's fine this guy.

Kate said...

It's Stavros. The mucho macho aggression -- didn't he pay a homeless guy money to dump a soda on himself?

DNfromMN said...

I wish it were the pizza boy (who always pinged, but I don't think PH would've kept as long as she did if he were), but it implies someone who's got a history of anger.

The Ain'ts: Justin Timberlake, K-Fed, Jared Leto

So the hint is: boybander (JT), golddigger?, asshat.

Is that Nick Carter?

GammaGirl said...

I've lost a lot of respect for Ted C in the past few days. I'm not saying it's wrong to discuss Heath Ledger's past drug use, but why write three columns that strongly suggest he OD'd??
It's such poor form.

Anyway, I think it's Nick Carter.

KS said...

It's definately been established that Slurpa Pop Off is Paris. But I just dont picture Nick Carter has having a gym-toned bod. i remember him as being sortof a pimply whale. Has anyone seen any recent pictures??

TomTyler said...

What about the Desperate Housewives guy?

lmm1969 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ice Angel said...

Doesn't it say the guy used to be a big deal with lots of fans? Actually, the and it aints really point toward Britney, but I really though Slurpa was Paris.

My vote goes to Paris and Nick

Brunett said...

He's definitely toned up recently. For the BSB comeback tour i think. Definitely gotta be Nick Carter.

ehinckle02 said...

Didn't Paris walk around with a bunch if bruises at one point? She claimed Nick Carter gave them to her.

Kory said...

OK - this is not my gym. A search of gyms on Beverly Blvd in WH turned up just one that I could find - Easton Gym. I found that Tobey Maquire, Leonardo, Eric Stolz, Jake Gyllenhaal, Nick Stahl and Patrick Dempsey all work there. None of that fits for this BI.

Still searching a bit as it is a wet, lazy day here in LA

captivagrl said...

"visiting this coast".... a guy that lives in NY?

Laura said...

Nick Carter lost a lot of weight recently. I'll throw another vote his way.

http://www.usmagazine.com/node/10461

jax said...

i'm in.

Nick...always came off a bit "im so gay and angry cuz i can't be who i really am"

Brit Brit said...

How come i dont understand One fuckin full sentence he writes?...
i know its english... I.. JUST... DONT.... UNDERSTAND...HIM!!

Kim said...

On E-online Ted references the BI and says that Percel Poke Me was once "larger than life". Wasn't there an album or song similar to that for Back Street Boys?

If so, then def Nick Carter.

Brenda22 said...

If you go on TMZ.com and do a search on Nick Carter, there's a little video of a guy kissing him on the neck. It's definitely Nick.

Brenda22 said...

Here's the link:

http://www.tmz.com/2007/11/03/nick-carters-awkward-kiss/

KS said...

ok, i am a believer!! nick carter makes total sense now. he probably did tone up for the comeback tour that failed, backstreet did have a song called "larger than life" that they dedicated to their fans, and paris did walk around with all those bruises for public sympathy. Plus, isnt his permanent residence Miami? his reality show had his siblings living in his house, and im pretty sure it was miami. so it makes sense that he would visit the west coast often but not reside there.

michele said...

kim,
yes, larger than life was a backstreet boys song off the millennium album.

please don't ask me how i know that..

michele said...

sorry, ks beat me to it!

Dee Dee Russell said...

Paris and Nick.

Ted C. rocks!!! I wrote him a fan mail way back and he responded with a personal touch so I think he's fabulous if not for him there would be no Perez no DListed no Pink is the New Blog...

Les Suckno The Great said...

So Parasite Hilton dated a faggot and potentially contracted HIV from him. Big deal. We already knew that. I think she's the actress blithely spreading HIV across Hollywood, as indicated in a recent blind item.

Tracee said...

Ted needs to get out more and hear how people really talk. He's got his own "Nell" language.

Discodiva1 said...

This isn't really a blind item. This is Nick Carter. Look at the comment:

'all for naught, perhaps, since the once superpoppy PPO’s poster-boy days are pretty much dunzo.'

And the reference to Lance Bass; as well as the comment about his well-known macho aggression ('beating up' Paris (when she had those bruises and black eye), fighting w/his brother on their reality show, etc.)

Finally a Td blind that is easy to figure out. The clues actually make sense even if the writing is horrible as usual

Trix said...

My vote is for Nick Carter, too. There are rumors that he was the "sacrifice" boy band member for Lou back in the day, as Lou required at least one from each group. And Nick's mom tried to warn the other moms about that guy...

Judi said...

Suckno, I believe it's a singer who's HIV+. And even Ent would never call Ebola a singer, much less an actress.
Following the crowd - Nick Carter.

Liz said...

I cannot stand reading his stuff anymore. I wish Ent would translate ted speak. ;)

klown said...

why even bother to make this one blind...? Now doubt its the ebola and her ex boybander Nick Carter.

Kara said...

Yep. It's Nick.

@trix

Did you read that article about Lou in Vanity Fair a couple of months ago? There was a page or two devoted to his teen conquests and how he chose one boy from each of his bands to have an affair with. His favourite in Backstreet was Nick.

Anon said...

Judi you're always so nice to Les going out of your way to talk to him. is that you sucking his dick in his avatar?

Trix said...

Kara, yes I did, it was very informative and eye opening, wasnt it?

jax said...

i read he had a crack at Aaron Carter too. both those kids are f*cked up..but then so is there momma.

d said...

Um, why not Jared Leto? They hooked up on Sundance, he's way past his prime (MSCL was a long time ago), he has gotten a lot less "poppy" (ie: goth-lite), he's a helluva lot more in shape than Nick, which would mean a lot of working out. not to mention his Seacrestian coifing with hair and wardrobe.

Beyond that, he's always had the "reputation" as a "ladies man", but it's really just Hiltoon, Lohan, Ashlee, and one of the Olsens. Yea, my money's on Leto.

Peek Freans said...

d, you should read the comments above yours before you go betting your money. According to dnfrommn's comment, Ted C already said it's not Jared Leto. (Ted usually lists three people who "it ain't".)

I'll take cash or a postal money order at your convenience.

Judi said...

I want to know who Ted's talking about in the 1st paragraph who needs something a little more in the sack. Ideas?

takeme2espana said...

Is Ebola another name for Parisite?
I'm betting it's Nick too...

Judi said...

Yes, Ebola = Parisite.

takeme2espana said...

ahhhhh, Thank you Judi, guess that clears up a couple things then, doesn't it!

Kinsey said...

The different coast thing could be referring to Nick being originally from Florida!