Friday, October 03, 2008

Michael Lohan Opening Rehab For Celebrities


Hey, what do you know, an exclusive. Do you feel the excitement? Me neither. It just kind of seemed too lame to make a blind item, but exclusives are kind of lame. Of course it would have to be about Michael Lohan. Well, can't win them all. At least he is fun to make fun of. Apparently now that Michael is getting married he is looking for something to do to make a buck other than trying to live off his relationship with his daughter. Probably a good idea considering the disintegration of that relationship and it wasn't even a year ago when they were all huggy kissy when she got out of that Utah rehab clinic. Well being a general pain in the ass and making unsolicited comments can lead to the break down of even a father-daughter relationship.

Enough about that. Lets talk about Michael's new money making scheme. Right now he is gathering investors for the purpose of getting them to pony up a bunch of dough so Michael can open his own celebrity rehab place. Not sure I would give him money to buy me a loaf of bread at the store, but ok. According to the person who passed me along all of this, otherwise, known as a source. Sounds cheesy like that though huh? Trying to stay off the cheese though this morning. No, not a lactose thing, but thanks for your concern. Anyway, the source says that Michael is telling all these potential investors that he is eminently qualified to to run such a place because of his own history with substance abuse and because he has a "unique insight and understanding into the nature of celebrity addicts." Well, sure, but that means when he is selling this idea to investors he is exploiting Lindsay, because as far as I know he is the only celebrity addict he really knows. And does having insight into one celebrity addiction and going through rehab yourself somehow make you an expert and give you the ability to run an entire clinic? I don't think so. Oh, and you think that when Michael needs some extra cash that perhaps someone at the clinic will whisper something to the tabloids. I wouldn't go there if I were a celebrity. I wouldn't go there period. The last thing I need to see if I am coming off a four year bender is Michael Lohan's face in mine everyday while I'm trying to get clean.

23 comments:

kris said...

maybe he can get some rehab for that shirt he is wearing...

Punkimeowzer said...

Seriously? How long has Michael been a 'recovered' addict? Two months? Like you said Ent it's a money making scheme.

jax said...

the last thing i wan to see is Micheal in a fucking Right Said Fred shirt from the 90s.

Syko said...

I'm not fond of the crotch shot either. Love me some FFF, but not of Michael Lohan.

Punkimeowzer said...

@jax
That's f-in funny!! LMAO!!!

BlahFrickinBlah said...

Holy shit. Can you imagine walking into rehab high off your ass and witnessing that sight?

Mooshki said...

Well, it's only fair of him to do this since his douchebaggery has probably driven more than a few people to drugs.

Wes Fowler said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lothar said...

My eyes!! My eyes!!!

Black mesh shirts are GREAT, BUT MLo is one of the last people I want to see wear one. How coulds you torture us with that pic??

It could be worse, MLo could have been a part of Full Frontal Friday.

stiffkittens said...

Is a homophobic 'born-again Christian' allowed to wear a black mesh shirt? The photo looks like an advert in the back of a gay magazine - i can almost make out the separate balls. Sorry, too much. And more importantly, why the hell can't i stop staring at it? Put you titties away Michael!

Gillybean said...

@Lothar
Don't give Enty any ideas!!

not a famous adrian said...

How long before he starts trying to sell the idea to E!?

Mooshki said...

I was about to say that Enty wouldn't do that to us, but then I remembered the Verne Troyer sex tape. Ent, sometimes you're a sick and twisted dude!

Syko said...

LOL @ Stiffkittens - I can't quit looking either! The involuntary celibacy is making me insane.

i am a princess, yes i am said...

holy fuck, i'm just laughing about his shirt. i haven't even read the article yet.

Enty...where do you get these great pictures!?!

*smiling the rest of the day now*

i am a princess, yes i am said...

how much do you wanna bet that phone cord isn't even plugged into a phone, it's just draped across the desk.

do you think he woke up one morning and said to himself, "Humm, I'm gonna stage an office shot with my pap friends wearing this great shirt I bought yesterday for $400 with my daughter's money. God life is good, I'm a blessed man!"

uumm yep, that's all I can think when I see this picture.

bumblebee said...

I literally gagged on my lunch when I saw this picture.

Jesse D said...

LMAO The shirt was bad but you guys are KILLIN in the comments today. I just snorted.

a nanny mouse said...

I could have gone a life time without seeing his nipples

Catherine said...

ACK! Michael's MOOBS! I just threw up a little bit in my mouth!!!

Jerry said...

And here I thought his next big venture was gonna be Shop To Earn.

Kat said...

Oh dear God, what the hell is that shirt?

I need to go bleach my eyes now...

blankprincess said...

I was eating lovely brownies when I saw this picture...I think brownies are now ruined for me forever.

Jax is right: "I'm too sexy for this shirt."

UUUGGGHHHHH!