First, I want to make sure you know this is not a letter to Penn Gillette, because he actually spells his name Jillette. I know, I know very confusing. No, this is a letter to the company Gillette. I am writing you this letter because I feel betrayed. I feel like you and your mad scientists at the company have screwed me over for the past 50 years.
About six months ago, I noticed that I was down to my last razor blade and made a mental note to myself that I really needed to go pick up another five pack of blades for my Mach 3. I bought one originally because I thought it would make me feel like Speed Racer. Then, later I realized he drove a Mach 5, and that I really had no use for the chimp I bought and calling every woman I met Trixie was really causing some confusion. Anyway, I digress.
Like many of my mental notes it ended up in some filing cabinet in my mind which sticks a lot and rarely opens. It was only after I noticed the blue strip on the razor really start to lighten that I moved the mental note into a higher priority. Well, out of sheer laziness, and my constant unwillingness to pay the outrageous prices that are charged for blades, I simply, cut back to shaving every other day. That was almost five months ago. For the past five months I have used that blade every other day, with no sign of this blue strip at all. I have seen no signs that the blade is doing anything differently that it was doing five or six months ago.
Each day that I use it, I get more and more angry because I count all those five packs I have bought through the years at about $10 bucks a pop, simply because the blue line began to fade. What is this blue line? Why has anyone never told me that the blue line was just a trick and that if you went beyond the blue line, nothing bad happened. There was no offside called or cuts to the jugular. It is simply a marketing trick to get you to shell out more money for a product that is prohibitively expensive in the first place, because if they did not have the blue strip on the product, then every person using the product would realize they never ever need to buy a new blade, or if they do, that it should only be once a year. Think about the hundreds of millions of dollars Gillette makes every year because they have that blue strip mind f**k going on.
Am I the only one who has been caught up in this game of theirs? Have you? Let me know I am not alone.