Thursday, June 02, 2011

Shocker!! Ellen Barkin Is Not Actually A Wax Doll


Despite what I have thought for the past few years, it turns out that Ellen Barkin has not actually turned into a wax doll from all of her plastic surgery and is able to move, and talk. Yes, I know she is nominated for a Tony Award, but in that play she is in a wheelchair and I figured there was some gadget that wheeled it around the stage while some woman off stage read the lines. I mean this is the same woman who is wheeled out on a cart and propped up by some production assistant when she has to appear on a red carpet. Ellen is posed for pictures and then carried back to her box and shipped to the next press stop.

But, what made me realize that Ellen is capable of moving a little is that she showed off her apartment to Page Six. Umm, hang on. Page Six has nothing better to do than take personal Cribs tours? They must owe her one. Anyway, they did take the opportunity to say what they were really hoping to see was Barry Levinson's son Sam, who is half Ellen's age and apparently has a thing for f**king expressionless older women. I have discovered (or created) a medical term for it. Bougar. No, not the Harry Potter term. This is a hybrid of Botox and Cougar. Bougar. It is defined as an older woman who injects herself with so much botox and has so much plastic surgery that she is incapable of any physical expression and only enjoys being with younger men. To qualify for the purposes of the medical definition, you must not be able to move your mouth more than 1 inch in either direction and be forced to eat your meals through either a straw or confine yourself to yogurt and soup. The man in question must be at least 15 years younger than yourself and in many cases is blind or a virgin.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Get it Ellen! Make him do it right! And a trust fund babe no doubt.

Murphy Brown 2020 said...

What Lady C. said.

A little digression: has anyone else seen the latest pictures of Simon Cowell?! It isn't just women who go overboard with the 'tox. He looks reDONKulous right now.

pdxbellarocks said...

Bouger reminds me if Booger from Revenge of the Nerds

B626 said...

The mouth is not the only orafice that in theory, 'moves' on Ellen's bod.

RocketQueen said...

Lol - I get the distinct impression that Enty is no fan of Ellen Barkin!

Also, I agree with pdxbellarocks - Bougar = Booger. Ew.

Cindy said...

Shall we change it to Coutox? ;)

timebob said...

If i was married to that bloated mess Ron Pearlman for years I would jump on the first hot young guy i could get.

Jason Blue Eyes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason Blue Eyes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason Blue Eyes said...

That young guy is the 26 year old son of director Barry Levinson. He directed Ellen in "Diner" - 30 years ago!

I wonder what his recation was when he discovered Ellen no longer has her "Sea Of Love" body.

Henriette said...

My favorite Ellen Barkin story is about her selling Pearlman's jewels. I always liked that one.

PS said...

WTF, Enty. You're nicer to Asslee Simpson. Ellen Barkin is a great actress, and have some gaddam compassion for what she went through with her jackass ex Ron P. He expected her to live that lifestyle, be that Park Ave trophy wife, and then kicked her out and locked the doors the day before their prenup afforded her more at the 5y mark. With no notice. So, it was back to her old life, back into what would make her happy - at over 50 years old. That's not easy to re-enter the Hollywood game after exiting for nearly a decade. She's always had a unique face, and I applaud her for embracing it and becoming a smart sex symbol. So what that she's had some surgery or botox?! MOST of Hollywood has. I don't like it, but I like her. I think she's awesome, and your rant was just hateful and mean.

Smasherstein said...

I have such a soft spot for Ellen because everyone thinks my mom looks like her... minus all the Botox and Plastic Surgery - like a normal person version of her!

3culprits said...

What PS said. My husband considers her one of the best celebrities from his days in Vegas (along with our poster boy...). And Ron P is a pig.

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