Monday, March 19, 2012

Your Turn

The worst baby name you have ever heard? It is fine to include a celebrity baby name, but you must know good ones out there. I once knew someone who named their child Panda. The couple met at a zoo and it was their favorite animal.

226 comments:

1 – 200 of 226   Newer›   Newest»
Marisa said...

Tanqueray. Yes, like the gin.

spacecowboy78 said...

There's a ultra hipster couple who live a few doors down from one of my best friends who named their son Awesome.

Baka Neko said...

Cullen

MM said...

Debris. I'm guessing the parents didn't know that it means garbage.

Julie said...

Teddy Graham ... like the little cookies

nichole said...

Shannyn Sossamon still takes the prize for me - AudioScience

really? that poor child

see also: Moxie Crimefighter (Penn Jillette's daughter) and Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee's kid)

Jenny said...

Theopholis

BigMama said...

Grandfinale - she was the 17th child in the family. Her parents then had the nerve to have another child after her, named her something normal.

La Pachuquita said...

I knew some in college who was named Aryan White...and he is African American. His parents were just cruel!

Christina said...

Ditto the pilot inspektor

Robert said...

About 25 years ago, I heard about a couple with the last name Hyde. They named their daughter Jekyll Ann...

pk8 said...

the Seed family:

Sesame
Poppy
Sandy

(no i am not joking they went to an ivy league school i was connected to)

Noetje said...

Papillon Eagleye Rainbow... For me nothing can top this name..

JW said...

Well, the runner up is Tia Maria but the winner: Adolph - not too bad alone but combine it with the last name and you get Adolph Fittler.

pk8 said...

knew a kid named Lawne.

his parents liked the ganja but couldn't name him Grass or Weed. he was also born in early 80's so not a new hipster thing.

Vicki Cupper said...

Jebus, the Scandinavians have the right idea. There's a government agency that yeas or nays baby names.


Stupidest celeb names I've ever heard:

Pilot Inspektor
Moxie CrimeFighter
Ivy Blue

A quick review of my friends on Facebook:

Kaede (I'm assuming Katie)
Gaedon

Something about putting the "a" and "e" together that makes white trash feel klassy.

Seachica said...

There was a white supremacist couple in the news for naming their baby Adolf Hitler -- they made the news when a store refused to put that name on a birthday cake.

It's a personal thing, but I *hate* names that take a normal name and put "La" in front of it. LaSonya, LaJames, LaBeth, etc.

First names serve a very simple purpose - identify someone as a human being distinct from many other nearby human beings, and indicate gender. If the name sounds like something other than a name (Apple), or confuses gender (Madison), then IMHO it has failed.

Amber said...

I once had two students in the same class whose names were Tequila (pronounced Te-quee-la) and Tekila (pronounced like the drink)

Lurky Loo said...

Lick. Seriously this was her name, not a nickname or anything like that. I can't even fathom what her parents where thinking when they thought that would be a great name for her.

Lurky Loo said...

Lick. Seriously this was her name, not a nickname or anything like that. I can't even fathom what her parents where thinking when they thought that would be a great name for her.

Vicki Cupper said...

Oh, I completely forgot these two girls in college. One girl was named Tia (I actually like that name)and her sister's name was Tricky. I couldn't say her name without gritting my teeth.

I completely forgot about AudioScience! Shannon Sossamon sucks at naming her kid as much as she sucks at acting.

Momster said...

There was a governor in Texas in the late 1890's, Jim Hogg, who named his daughter Ima. Seriously. She never married and lived nearly 100 years with that name.

And then there's Rob Morrow's daughter, Tu.

bridget said...

Merlin. His mom is a professional psychic.

FrenchGirl said...

i'm french and i know Jean Bono (it sounds as "knuckle of ham"), Olivia Olivier(like Olive Oliver)and the twins Rose and Fleur Pommier (Rose and Flower Apple Tree)

spacecowboy78 said...

I do think Audio Science is the worst celebrity baby name I've heard of. At least a Pilot Inspektor is something tangible, one who inspects pilots? Or a pilot who moonlights as a detective?

billybob said...

A boy in my school was called Astro Flash. I kid you not! I believe he changed his name years later.

Vicki Cupper said...

Merlin was my grandfather's name so I have to give it a pass. :D It always makes me think of movies from the late 40s and early 50s.

strawberrygirl said...

Audio Science

La Pachuquita said...

some else I knew was named Perfecto Matadamas..the English translation is Perfect Ladykiller.

david91 said...

Well in germany someone named their child "Taugenichts", which means "good-for-nothing"

SusanB said...

I had a patient once who was named "Shi'thead". Seriously. The "d" was silent. I think they pronouced it Shithey. You'd think this kind of thing would be illegal.

AKM said...

Oh my goodness, you have NO idea how badly I want to participate in this, but it's someone in my family and I have this huge fear that it could possibly be Googled and read or something.

But trust me. Someone in my family recently gave his/her child the worst name I've heard in a long time. Truly.

SusanB said...

Forgot to add - I worked in pediatrics. The MDs tried to get the mother to change it but she refused.

FrenchGirl said...

my boyfriend knows a little Chanelle Gucci and was at school with a little Adolf Benito Josef

crila16 said...

I HATE these names. It's also a perfect example of parents trying to get attention.

-Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf Lee
Parents: Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf

-Audio Science Clayton
Parents: Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton

caydian said...

Nescafe...like the coffee.

Jessica said...

I worked for a health insurance company and boy did I see some doozies!

The best/worst was Menageatrois--yup. Poor girl.

There was also Daiquiri and Placenta.

Think parents !!!

amazonblue said...

Christmas Cutter. Middle name Cookie.

Friends of friends. Nothing says class like naming your offspring after an inanimate object.

La Pachuquita said...

someone I know had a fiance named Big Sur...

Vicki Cupper said...

AKM, now you have to spill! I doubt it'll be googled.

:| raven |: said...

i swear there was a family in my high school named Lear (like Lear Jet).

they named their daughter Shanda.

also my ex-husband knew a girl in HS, her name was Penelope Ann Blow.

Penny A. Blow

(i saw this in his HS year book)

anita_mark said...

Jesus God, where is the government in all of this? There needs to be tougher laws.

I truly hate when parents name their child on a whim. Like the "Jekyll Ann" name from above. Why? Because you think it's cute? You narcissistic bastard, that child has to live with that fucking name, not you.

I hate people.

My brother was in an elevator yesterday with a couple who had two kids. He was about to engage them in conversation (he has kids) until he heard them call their small son Dallas. He wasn't interested in chatting.

A friend told me her cousin named their son Bruce Lee.

MomTo4Boys said...

I used to know a lady who named her daughter Pajama, pronounced as pa-ja-may!

Kingrey said...

Delurking after a few months. My girlfriend has a young cousin (female) named Yosmeyris (Jos-may'-dees). Really? Really?!!

BigMama said...

Didn't Grace Slick name her daughter "god" with a lower case G because she didn't want her to be conceited? Might be an urban legend

My future Brother-in-Laws initials spell WTF - needless to say, it is going to be the first wedding around here in a long long time without his initials on half the decorations

My sister went to college with a good ol' Southern girl named Chrystal Bell. Parents are just mean.

Jennifer H. said...

At my junior high there was a "Latrina." Unfortunate.

Kingrey said...

And i agree with anita. Are some parents on angel dust when they name their children?

unidentifiedoriginaion said...

i had a friend who went on the maury povich show.

her daughter was diaviant (dee-ahh-vee-ahnt) lexus, and her son is warren tre carlton.

i have a friend named Katja, and my mother in law gives me shit about that.

Terri said...

The principal at the school I did my student teaching was named Tulane Duke. She married and didn't change her name. She told me all her siblings were named after colleges...Emory, Vanderbilt, and one other I can't recall.

kathy said...

What? No mention of Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa?

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Terri - Emory is actually cute!

Layna Day said...

Special Occasion
Tomorrow Star
Tequila
LaSquizzie
Jodeci (as in the R&B group)
Centa (short for Placenta)
Pope Banana (Banana was his last name)


As someone with an unusual and possibly ugly name, those are even too much for me.

Fijigrrl said...

I knew a female student named "Female" --Fe-MALL-ayyy.

Princess said...

My friend's sister was a teacher when I was a kid. She had a set of twins in her class named Male (pronounced mal) and Female (fee-mal). When the mom delivered them, she didn't name them and the nursery put cards in their little nursery bin that just said Female and Male and she thought they 'named' them.
Went to school with girls named Lasagna and Marijuana.

timebob said...

I went to high school with a girl who was a teen mom and wanted a kid just so she can name her kid Robin. Her last name was Hood and wouldn't give the kid her father's last name.

Robin Hood is somewhere in Long Island.

The other goofy name I can think of is ex-General Hospital actor Ingo Radamacher named his son Peanut. That kid is gonna get his ass kicked one day.

timebob said...

I went to high school with a girl who was a teen mom and wanted a kid just so she can name her kid Robin. Her last name was Hood and wouldn't give the kid her father's last name.

Robin Hood is somewhere in Long Island.

The other goofy name I can think of is ex-General Hospital actor Ingo Radamacher named his son Peanut. That kid is gonna get his ass kicked one day.

Vicki Cupper said...

Freakonomics had a very interesting chapter on people that give their kids stupid names. Essentially the more ridiculous the name or outlandish the spelling, the lower the intelligence and/or class of the parents.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Worst name I've seen in 16 years working in healthcare, and no, I'm not mixing this up with a diagnosis, the patient's first name was Appendicitis. #SMH

Anita_Mark - My dad traveled a ton back in the day, and there was a plan to name me after the city he was in when I was born. Unfortunately he was in Fort Dodge, Iowa, so they nixed those plans. I wonder if that's how Dallas got his name? Didn't Jackie Collins have a character named Dallas?

JoElla said...

I remember my local newspaper used to have the weekly listings of births... that was quite entertaining! Sadly they stopped publishing names.

AKM said...

The Grace Slick thing is an urban legend. Well, not totally, really. Here you go...

http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/godslick.asp

And I could have sworn that I'd heard the whole "Shithead"-naming thing was an urban legend as well.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

@timebob I always thought Peanut was Ingo's son's nickname? NO?

Krab said...

I do think it's hard to top Turdell or D'Brickashaw.

La Pachuquita said...

My boyfriend knew someone named Denali (like the car), and a law school college named Tae Kwon Do (not Korean, or Asian for that matter).

There should be a campaign, "Dont Drink and Name your Kid"

AKM said...

I thought the "Male"/"Female" thing was an urban legend, too. Along with Lemonjello ("lay-MON-gel-oh") and Orangejello (ohr-AHNJ-gel-oh").

Come on, show me actual birth certificates, people! ;-)

Krab said...

And the Male and Female things are urban legends.

skeeball said...

I have a friend who is a teacher, some of her students:

Shithead, pronounced shee teed(Susanb, you must know my friend!!!!)

Hardtime

Bluegreen

Goober said...

I once had a student that his initials were his nickname - Timothy Ian Moss (TIM) and his brother, Thomas Owen Moss (TOM). I thought that was kinda cute but their sister was Mary Chris Moss.

Margaret said...

I'm not sure I can recover if I share a planet with someone who named an innocent child LaSquizzie. Not. sure.

Matt said...

In Texas, I am told, a popular name for a little boy is Colt. How dreadful.

Syd said...

Vanilla California

firebugDVM said...

Wow, this list is crazy/awesome! You guys are cracking me up!

I named my daughter "Ashlyn" and get a lot of people who want to know where the name "came from." Aka-- they think it's a weird name. I must direct them to this site so they can see how "normal" I am ;)

Robert said...

Yum. "'Cause his daddy's name is William."

anita_mark said...

@Little Miss, didn't you mean "fortunately" as in "fortunately, I didn't get named Fort Dodge?" Teasing :)

I doubt it, we're not near Texas. They also had a baby. My money is on it being named Austin.

Go to Toys R Us and check out the personalized stuff (mugs, pens, etc) and try not to piss yourself laughing. Blaze, Trinity, Dakota, Destiny, etc.

I find it hard to believe a gov't would allow Marijuana or Lasagna to be written on a birth certificate.

perfecttt2 said...

La-a (pronounced la-dash-a)

Fijigrrl said...

LOL -- sorry -- Female is completely true... not an urban legend. I am related to the person who had the student. Also, he also had a "Shi*head" (fill in the blank) -- but it was pronounced "shuh-teed".

Yes! Read Freakonomics -really interesting chapter.

evergrey said...

I've heard rumor of a child (girl?) being named Meconium - as in the first poop your child takes upon birth.

Apparently the story goes that the lady in labor overheard the doctor use that term and decided to name her child - meconium.

Moron!!

Stuck in Montana said...

The Yankoff family. They named their son, Dick. True story.

Robert said...

@kingrey: Shhhhhh! If they hear that, some parent will name their daughter Angel Dust!

firebugDVM said...

Clinton Dick

Say that one fast a few times

Maggie said...

Shotgun & Pistol - I think this may be urban legend but the the girl who told me about it swears she actually met them. I used to work with a guy named "The Antony"

Karrots said...

Joe Kerr
Summer Golden Brown
Crystal Chandelier
Walter Walters

XCentric said...

this one girl in my elementary was named Xtra Moore. And she was white, no lie!

XCentric said...

school^

Cheryl S said...

Baby Boy..That was his given name...

Kimberly said...

Odd but to me pretty,. If.pronounced correctly
Monet and Renoir. Gorgeous identical twins..Israeli

Mean mom awards..Nelmer and.Lansondar. Both girls

Just stupid. C'Alyse

Wee S said...

A girl I know is called Xenia - there was a girl born the next day on the same ward who was given the same name but spelt Zena. They ended up in the same school too.

I know someone else who called their kids Detroit, Kansas, Kaysey-Leigh and Layne. Randomness, really.

erindipity said...

One of my metalhead husband's ex-bandmates named his son Pantera. *facepalm*

hotchacha said...

What about Daisy Boo Oliver and Bear Blu Silverstone?

AbderianLaughter said...

@Karrots was just about to write one of those ones. My mom is a preschool teacher so you'd think she'd have come across some strange ones but the only one I heard about was a little girl named Crystal Shandel Lear (Crystal Chandelier), not as strange as some of these posted hear but still unique...

Thea said...
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iheartgoss said...

When I delivered my first the nurse told me a mom had just named her son sheriff. She said a week earlier someone named their son Melchizedek.

BigMama said...
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BigMama said...
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Mamaroni said...

Latrine...child of a teen mom whose name was Bidet. I kid you not.

BigMama said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
iheartgoss said...

When I delivered my first the nurse told me a mom had just named her son sheriff. She said a week earlier someone named their son Melchizedek.

LuMay said...

Famous here in Brazil are the three siblings:
Xerox
Fotocópia (photocopy) and
Autenticada (certified)

For a while now, you cannot name your kid anything out of the ordinary in Brazil... Thank God... Those poor kids...

Magically Suspicious said...

I knew a gentleman with the last name of Busch that named his son Anheiser. Fortunately, the kid went by Andy, but his asshat father was so proud of himself that he told anyone and everyone the full name.

I knew a girl with the initials FAG. Bad enough, but she went by her first and middle names so it was obvious what her initials were. The kicker....her last name was Gaye.

My favorite: I had a co-worker once who's roommate was named Happy. My co-worker used to tell stories about how she used to tease Happy about hanging out with Sneezy and 'Hey, where's Doc?'. Once, I needed to look up the co-worker's number in a student directory and couldn't find it. When I asked her about it, she replied, "It's under Happy's name. Her last name is Hooker." #1 - who does that to a child? #2 - what kind of idiot was my co-worker that the best jokes she could come up with were Seven Dwarf cracks.

seaward said...

Worst names I have ever encountered in real life: Martasia & Martavius. Toddler twins. They're probably around 9 now, the poor little things.

Kimya Dawson named her kid Panda. I listen to her album Alphabutt with my kid, and there's a song about Panda. I thought it was a nickname for the longest time, till I looked her up on wiki.

fade2black said...

Many moons ago when my son was born, my hospital roomie heard a lovely word in the delivery room and wanted to name her new daughter Placenta. I explained why that would be a mistake, so she named her Pajama (pronounced PA-zhe-may). Not cruel, just very, very stupid.

Debutante said...

Just an FYI at Krab about the name D'Brickashaw.

His mother said she loved the TV movie the Thorn Birds and named him after Richard Chamberlain's character.

Too bad the character's name was Ralph DeBricassart, of French origin.Close but no cigar !!!Idiot.

hunter said...

I'm seconding La-a (pronounced la-dash-a)

I want to make a comment about inner city or "urban" people and their questionable naming habits but y'all have convinced me they're not the only crazy ones.

Plus I don't want to get beat up in the comments.

Michael said...

Considering how long I agonized over naming my son something only as non-standard (in the US) as Louis... there's just no way I can understand someone who charges right on ahead naming their kid something obviously strange. I mean, do these people lack the empathy gene or what?

Weirdest one that I know of that hasn't been mentioned here is Velveeta. 100 years ago that might have flown, but to name your kid after not just cheese, but fake cheese... what is that? narcissism? willful ignorance? a sadistic sense of humor?

Kimberly said...

Oh, I have a freind whose last name is Jewels. We laughed about.all the bad boy name combos with that. Harold (harry), Hugo (hugeo), maximillum etc

Thea said...

"Talula Does The Hula In Hawaii" was the first name of a 9-year-old girl in New Zealand. This one made international news because a judge actually ordered the girl to become a ward of the court so that they could change her name for her; her parents refused to change it. The poor girl was so embarrassed by her name, she told friends that her name is "K". Here is the article, apparently New Zealand's government rejected a couple of other crazy names from other parents such as "Sex Fruit" but "Number 16 Bus Shelter" was allowed:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/story/2008/07/24/talula-nz-name.html

The Infertile Housewife said...

My best friend works for CPS and one of the children she worked with was named Arayah... Her middle name was Sunshine.

Texshan said...

Yes, popular names in Texas for boys include Dallas, Houston, Austin, Colt, Bowie, etc. I guess it's a state pride thing.

My mother's white trash cousins have two boys named Dusty and Clay. Their last name is Rhoades.

My grandparents used to live next door to a young couple. The woman's name was -- I am not making this up -- Chantarelle. Like the mushroom. She was white and from Wisconsin, not the South.

When I was in college I worked one summer in a place that processed paychecks for companies. This guy on the payroll of one of the companies was named German Bastard.

But the end-all, be-all was something I read on STFU Parents. This whole family is a case study in WTF-ery, but the topper is that this woman named her twin girls (deep breath, try to remain calm) Vadgesty Foxi Maiden and Vagena Tamphen Pohtaytar. I shit you not.
Don't believe me? Go here: http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/229983649/halloween-09-i-recognize-the-editing-only-adds. Be sure to read the comments. Hours of fun for the whole family.

VeeBee said...

I went to school with a girl named Sunshine Lane. She was very nice (her name suited her) but I always thought "damn her parents must be serious hippies!")

Also, I work with the public and often see some crazy stuff. One day there were two girls and the one kept calling her friend over: Cajh-mo-nay, Cahj-mo-nay... I looked up her account and her name was KASHMONEY. Yep, her mom named her "KASHMONEY."

mynerva said...

@ Princess - I burst out laughing at lasagna and marijuana!!

Wasn't there a case in New Zealand where a daughter sued her parents who named her "Tallulah Does The Hula From Hawaii". The Judge had a few choice words for the parents as I recall.

CherryGirlMandy said...

There's a girl at my daughters school named Sevindee. And I worked with a woman named Candace, her maiden name was Barr. Her brothers name was Herschel.

Maggie said...

Not an Urban legend...DH has arrested a Female and both of the Jello twins (L'monjello and O'rangjello)

Also a Syphillis

AKM said...

http://www.vastpublicindifference.com/2008/08/urban-legend-names.html

AKM said...

And...

http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.asp

timebob said...

@Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors

Peanut was the nickname they gave to him in the womb. When he was born they decide to keep it. The child's full name is.

Peanut Kai Rademacher born on on July 11, 2008

Maybe the kid will go by Kai when he is older. I couldn't speak to a man named Peanut seriously.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

@anita_mark I was thinking of it backwards, that it was unfortunate to the parents that the city Dad was in wasn't going to qualify as a legitimate name any of could live with, and they were forced to abandon their plan. But yes, it is to my great fortune that my name isn't Ford Dodge!

Auntie M said...

I am related to a Nikki Sixx [last name]. All the grandparents were appalled. She's still a toddler, but soon she'll hate her parents.

Stuck in Montana said...

We lived last summer in Manhattan and there are always the hipster names out there but there was a name I came across that was most unusual. A young woman working at Gristedes Supermarket named, Velveeta. No matter what, I always tell a person that their name is unique and lovely.

I always try to be mindful of anyone's name. It is their identity and it is a big part of what makes them who they are. I am adopted and I found my birthmother. We had a very short lived relationship and the thing that bothered me most was her calling me the by the name she had picked out for me! It was uncomfortable and awkward but she could not of cared less of how it made me feel. She actually laughed at me when I would grimace at being called by her name for me. Not that the name she had picked for me was an ugly name nor that my original name from my parents was horrible or misfortunate, but I have a name and it is the only name I have known in my life. It was completely unnatural being called by a different first name and it actually messed with my identity.

So when I meet someone face to face with an unusual name: I congratulate them and tell them how unique they are in life. God knows I would never want to change my first name. But parents shouldn't name their children cruel first names; never ever.

Jill said...

Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing has a plethora of horrible, real names.

SusanB said...

@AKM - it may be an urban legend, but I really had a patient with that name. I remember us all just ROFL over the patient's chart. Also had a patient named Toshiba - mom saw the name on a portable x-ray machine in the hall and thought it was a pretty name.

BluntzMcGee said...

I read an article a few months ago where the woman's name was Marijuana Pepsi (yes she was born to hippies)....

at my job a woman came in with twins: Emkasia and Okasia....like really, you couldnt think of anything so you go mkay and okay!?

Syko said...

When I was growing up in central Missouri, a family in town with the last name of Popp named their son Soda. Some 20 or 30 years later I was working in a different city and one of my coworkers was from my old home town, and she was telling me about one of her high school teachers named Soda Popp, so I guess he wasn't made so insane by his bad name that he had to be institutionalized or anything.

And when I was a teenager, I knew a very nice lady named Rose Bush. Her parents didn't do it, though, she married it.

Syko said...

Oh, and how could I forget? The file clerk in a law firm I worked in named her daughter "Erisa", the child was born about the time the Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA) came into being, and she thought it sounded pretty.

crow_soup said...

Vermonika

La Pachuquita said...

Ohhh, I have more...

Nicholas Nichols
Jack Arse (pronounced Ar-sey)
Porsche

Seriously, don't name your kid after a car.

Lizzy said...

Ewok. Nuff said. The messed up part is that he was born and named in '78, about 5 years BEFORE Return of the Jedi was released.

anita_mark said...

Auntie M wrote: "I am related to a Nikki Sixx [last name]. All the grandparents were appalled. She's still a toddler, but soon she'll hate her parents."

Beautifully worded, that made me laugh.

Lizzy said...

There are actually so many. My science teacher named his son "jack daniels" and then his last name. I also know of a couple in Japan who named their child something that directly translates into something called "the devil" and inspired new legislation in Japan banning parents from naming their children stupid shit.

Margaret said...

I know a girl named Prada. Yep, after the handbag. If you met her mother, you'd understand.

Lizzy said...

O dear, i have one more. I knew a kid in college whose name was ABC. Seriously. Apparently his parents had not been living in the US for very long, didn't speak any English, and decided to name him the only English 'word' they knew. Since he decided to go into finance, he made the name sound like it was an old school acronym like a very old money type of person would have. A.B.C [Last name here]

People are amazing

EmEyeKay said...

These names are all kinds of wrong.

That's all.

luckylass said...

Celebrity name= Pilot Inspektor
Real people names = Unique (or any spelling derivative), Lexus, Prada, Porsche,

Donna said...

i went to school with a boy named Clay Brick.

candid canary said...

I went to school with a girl named Coffey -- after her dad's favourite hockey player Paul Coffey. I always wonder if she ever changed it...

MLE said...

I too have a friend named Denali.... wonder if it's the same girl?

Mary said...

Jenna Natalia - say it fast.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

@timebob Wow. Even Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love had the good sense to make "Bean" Frances' middle name! (And theirs is a similar story, started calling her "Bean" from an ultrasound...). You know you're in trouble when Courtney and Kurt made a better decision than you did. Kai is a cool name, especially in Hawaii, hopefully he'll start using it when he hits school.

AuditoryCooze said...

I know a guy whose middle name is Whizbahling -- his mother had a dream and an angel told her to name the child that. Fortunately his first and last are painfully normal.

Kdubz. said...

I have two pregnant cousins, naming their soon-to-be-born children Rason and Jaeger.

I worked with a girl who named her kids Jaxon Cade and Mykinly Maddisyn.

I get super sick of all the -aden names. Jaden Braden Caden blahblahblah.

AKM said...

"You know you're in trouble when Courtney and Kurt made a better decision than you did."

So far I think that's my favorite CDAN quote of the day...

Fijigrrl said...

@Mary -- LOL!

Moosefan said...

@Firebug-I have an Ashlyn too-born 1993
Here are the weird names I have seen-Queen Elizabeth and her brother was Phillip Prince. Porche'-(poor shay), Mercedes, Lexus, De'Ville-what the hell with the car names? And these are all girls names. For the guys-Ronjon-names after the surf shop in Cocoa Beach, Excellence, and Majersey.

Moosefan said...

Also-I went all through grade school, junior high and high school with a girl her last name-HAND TO SWEET BABY JESUS ON THE BIBLE-Horney. Yes, that family had the last name of Horney.

Ice Angel said...

I once worked with a girl name Naujia...pronounced Nausea.

I actually think this is cute, but someone I know has a son named Rukkus. He's totally cute and the name suits him perfectly!

I think my son has a really cool name. Peyton McMahon. And yes, we're Bears fans! But we liked the name and it is a derivitive of grandfathers name, Patrick.

redhotpepper said...

I went to school with Nita Dick. Her brother was Artie and we decided his middle name should be hava.

Seachica said...

A good friend of mine had initials that spelled out B.E.G. She was thrilled to take her husband's name when she got married.

Amy said...

Well, my uncle's name is Tom (Tommy) Hawk -- which everyone in our family of that generation, the baby boomers, thought was hilarious -- and he named his daughter Mo Hawk.

tm0004 said...

My husband who is Egyptian has a cousin who has lived here for the past 20 years and speaks English very well called his son Asser. ( insert jokes here). His preschool politely asked if they can refer to him by his last name.

Texshan said...

What?! How is it that NO ONE has commented on Vadgesty Foxi Maiden and Vagena Tamphen Pohtaytar? Are you all not as horrified as I am? Do you not agree that those babies should have immediately become wards of the court? How is this even POSSIBLE??!!

nikki815 said...

@SusanB

One of my friends was a teacher at an inner city school and told me about Shi'thead, (pronounced Shitay, just in case you don't want to scroll back up to that post)...I hope that it was the same kid...can you imagine two of them?

krista said...

A friend of mine has a nephew named Sundance

Went to school with a Danielle Daniels

SolitaryAngel said...

Vagina. No joke. The doctor & nurses tried desperately to get her to change her mind. Poor little black girl. *facedesk*

Jenn719 said...

Daiquiri - like the drink. I guess her mom wanted her to know what she was drinking when she got knocked up.

mrs.wigglepuppy said...

My mom is friends with a Pepsi. I went to school with a Rainbow, Stormy, and a Kymberleigh.

I went to highschool with this girl and she was a hipster hippy. She had a baby in the fall and if it was a girl the name was Plum and if it was a boy the name was Zuchini. Thank God she had a girl Plum is kinda cute.

I also have this other friend from highschool who named her daughter Persephone but it's pronounced Purse-A-Phone

boomom22 said...

I used to work in social services and this one couple had a son named Jake-Up.

boomom22 said...

I mean spelled that way...I wondered what was wrong with just spelling it Jacob? I have no room to talk, my husband named my second born Sirius. My mom is still pissed at me for that one, but I was so doped up from the c-section I probably would've agreed to anything.

Majik said...

I think the Geldofs have ridiculous names...Peaches, Little Pixie and Honeyblossom.

Personally, I've known two brothers named 'Bud' and 'Miller'...an unfortunately named Harold (Harry) Beaver...I know someone who has a child that goes to school with someone named 'Friendly'.

A little foresight, people...

gvlobos said...

My brother graduated with a girl named Cafeteria...Cafe for short.

deree said...

Ima and Yura with a last name of Hoor. They were from eastern Europe but still kids are cruel.I didn't believe it was true but my friend showed me the yearbook to prove it.

Hortence,Gertrude,Grenhilda,Folly,Felony,Fury,Caliber,Beret.I just don't know what those people are thinking? We chose unusual but still pretty names for our daughters.

Texshan said...

Majik, you forgot Fifi Trixiebelle Geldof, the oldest. Honeyblossom is Peaches' middle name. Their half sister (by Paula Yates and Michael Hutchence) is Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily.

Anna Ryder-Richardson, a British designer, has daughtera named Dixie-Dot and Bibi-Belle.

All of chef Jamie Oliver's kids have jacked-up names. They are: Poppy Honey Rosie, Daisy Boo Pamela, Petal Blossom Rainbow, and Buddy Bear Maurice. Perhaps it's some weird British thing?

I watched a House Hunters once where this total whitebread couple in Minnesota or somewhere were buying their first house. Her name was Winter. She had three sisters. You guessed it -- they were Spring, Summer, and Autumn. I went to college with a girl named Winter, too. I don't think these are necessarily bad or outlandish names, they're just a little too precious for me.

And finally, Heloise and Abelard (look 'em up) named their son Astrolabe in the 12th century. It's an old navigational tool. It would be like someone naming their kid "compass" today.

InCogNegro said...

L'a Pronounced Ladasha. Yes that is an apostrophe and not a dash.

Btw love this site.

izz said...

I used to work with a woman who named her daughter Epiphany because she wanted to tell people that she'd 'Had an epiphany'when they asked what she had.

My mom knew a lady with twin called Leroy and Peeroy, who calls a child Peeroy? If you want rhyming names for you child pick something better!

I know someone whose children are named Sandy, Mandy and Wendy after the days they were born on.

Maybe the worst girls name I've heard though was when a friend of a friend called her child Diamond Essence! but at least if she becomes a stripper in later life she won't need a new name...

Tara said...

That's pretty picky. How is Dallas a bad name?

Tara said...

Denali is also a natl park in Alaska

Beca said...

My cousin goes to school with a "LaDilda"

CaseyMacy said...

I worked at a place where we had a customer named Manly Bush. No joke.

Melissa said...

My friend's sister in law named their daughter Anarin. Sounds like an infection to me!

merritt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenn719 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenn719 said...

I remembered some others:

Mister - I went to middle school with him

General - worked with him for 10 years

Richard Head - went by Dick. Frequent customer at a hotel I used to work at.

My daughter has mentioned that La-a (La Dasha) name before. How many of them can there be.

Can I get an Amen for the worst celebrity child name ever? Jermajesty. It's awful and egocentric all at the same time.

tina said...

Nixon

Thorvald

Robert said...

When I was young, I wished my wife could have twins so we could name them Ebeneezer and Florence--Ebb and Flo.

La Pachuquita said...

I had a long term client a few years ago who was named Lesbia. I had to catch myself several times to not say lesbian.

Molly said...

http://notwithoutmyhandbag.com/blog/category/badbabynames/

That's quite possibly my favorite website for baby names... and she verifies them!

Unknown said...

Growing up I had neighbours who were huge New York Yankees Fans (not thats entirely relevant but we lived in Canada).
They had 3 kids, two girls and a boy. Mattie, Maggie and Yogi, not horrible right?

Mattie was short for Mattingly, Maggie for DiMaggio and well Yogi is self explanatory.

Lissa THEEE Pissa said...

The director of my daughter's YMCA was Golden Graham. No lie. She was not married so her parents obviously did it intentionally.
Also, a social worker friend of mine told me that STD names were apparently trending and that she knew of several babies being named Chlamydia, which was the most popular...

Kirie Eleison said...

I work in school administration and have seen many unusual names, including:

Lee Marvin Truly Wonderful 90210 Jones

and

Scurry Scurry Scurry Jr.

wenx said...

Isn't there a NASCAR driver named Dick Trickle?

La Pachuquita said...

Not a baby name, but it is funny. Lauren Bush became Lauren Lauren after she married Ralph Lauren's son.

anita_mark said...

I know I've said it already but I really have a hard time believing the government allowed some of these names on birth certificates. Chlamydia? Really???

@Tara, I think it's a cheesy name. Sorry if I offended you.

My first name sounds like "I need a" but thank God my last name doesn't lead into anything dirty.

anne said...

Megatron.

Pigtown*Design said...

used to work with a man called "dick filling". ugh

MomTo4Boys said...

My mom used to have a really good friend named Peaches.

I used to work with a woman named Jimmie.

And I used to date a guy named William Williams (needless to say he went by Bill). I always wondered what was wrong with his parents (they had died in an accident when he was a boy, he was raised by his grandmother) that they couldn't come up with a better name than essentially his last name.

amelie said...

My friend is a school teacher, her student is first name Urhyness...pronounced your highness

also have a customer named Evergreen White

And a friend named Cindy, short for Cinderella ( given name )

WUWT? said...

@AKM, no pressure, but: your conversation about the name won't be google-able if you put in symbols and dashs and dots and things. The family/kid looking up the name in the future will only look up their actual name, right? (And if it's SO horrible, the kid will agree with you by then anyway.)

Catherine said...

Citronella.....no joke!!!!

Lizzie said...

Both of my kids went to school, with two different kids named Tony Tiger.... Why?? Completely two separate families...again. Why would a person do that to their child. Also knew a Spring, who married a person with the last name Dewy.

mirror said...

Fraternal Twins: Wachovia and Wachovius

deree said...

What a sweetheart you are! It is never a persons' fault dumb parents name them ridiculous things.

Panda the Sky Cat said...

Long time lurker un-lurking for this!

I'm a teacher and I've come across some real winners in my time...

Lucky Mole - sounds like it's spelled.

Baby Ho - not my student, but at my school. Hard to simply address her by her first name... "Baby, come over here please".

Noah Vail - and the sad thing is, it was true!

Ginger Tung - she was a secretary at a bank where I temped.

Currently we have a student called Peter Pan - we suggested he choose another English name, but he insisted on sticking with it once he knew the story.

And finally (drum roll) - Prince Wang and King To ("toe")!

TaterOnTheCouch said...

I dated a John Johnson once. It wasn't even Jonathan and he went by "John," his first name was actually John.

I've seen Misty Blizzard, Heaven Leigh (last name), and D-Wayne (not Dewayne or Dwayne, but the dash in there).

Seachica said...

This reminds me of an old Joan Rivers joke that Prince Charles & Princess Diana should have named their first child Up, so they could sign their Christmas cards "Love, Up, Chuck & Di"

DAMD Tech said...

Vagina, yep, pronounced Va-geena, seriously gonna be a messed up kid. Also, in a trailer court outside of Chicago three sisters named Mercedes, Lexus and Bentley.

Unknown said...

I had just had my first child and she had a name that was a little different for back then, but not totally whacked. I liked finding out what other parents chose to name their children, so I used to read the birth announcements every week. There was one that really didn't make much sense--I thought there had been a misprint and left it at that. A few weeks later the paper did a story on this family who were super religious and wanted the world to know of their love for Jesus. They called their eldest daughter ---Repent of Your Sins---seriously.

MomTo4Boys said...

I can't believe I left out my hubbys best friends kid. Her name is Heaven Leigh Angel (yes, like heavenly angel).

I also went to school with 2 sisters named Russia and England! I kid you not, they were named after countries!!!

Lauren said...

This thread has completely made my day. I haven't laughed this hard in a while. :)

ardleigh said...

I work with the public and see all sorts of hideous names:

Adah Dick
LuLu Fluck
Nowah (Noah)
Kanibus

the worst one --- Chlymedia (yep that's just what it even sounded like. I did a double take when I read it.)

Megley said...

Two things: I named my three kids with names that you can't add "y" to, because I think that when a kid becomes an adult he deserves to be called Tom, not Tommy.
Second: my two favorite names belong to auto racers: Lake Speed, and Dick Trickle.

kariandwill said...

As a teacher, I come across some interesting names...

Chanelle Alize
Bluebunny (a boy)
Sirjames and Sircharles (brothers, the dad thought the name would earn them respect)
Hennessey
Daytor (as in, one who has lots of dates)
Diamond Tiara
Perfecto (who was anything but)
Bich
Marimar (super famous mexican novela)
Girl from college - Princess Leia (goes by Princess)

Nip's Kitchen said...

MECONIUM. it is a babys first poop if you dont know.

Lelaina Pierce said...

A lot of my friends/fam are teachers so I've heard a lot of these before, but I'm still laughing!

A man from my hometown was named Lick. I went to school with a Chantelle Janelle, which sounds downright beautiful comparatively.

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