Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Minka Kelly Succumbs To Wilmer Valderrama


Derek Jeter's now ex-girlfriend, Minka Kelly was spotted making out and groping Wilmer Valderrama. I really hope she is Derek's ex-girlfriend because this would make things awkward unless of course they are free to do who they want. They are on again and off again so much that it is like watching an episode of Teen Mom. Whenever you make out with Wilmer Valderrama you really need to be drunk or in a blackout state because you are going to thoroughly regret it the next day. He is not nice. He will talk about you. If you are named Demi he will help drive you to rehab and make sure your life continues to be messed up when you get out by calling you every five seconds and being a passive aggressive jerk. He will take your virginity and then make a separate tally for those. Minka must know these things. But, it did not stop her from doing it anyway.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

How does he still get women? He's a creeper

Anonymous said...

Talk about a step down. Jeter has true fame, wealth, and talent. Plus, he doesn't kiss and tell. Wilmer has the look of a weasel, the smell of hot dog water, the decorum of Joe Francis, and no class. He's some bizarro Marquis de Sade without the imagination.

Minka has sunk really low.

Barton Fink said...

I am supposed to worry about this star-f***er and the chance that banging Wilbur Voldemort will cheapen her brand? Puh-leeeez.

EmEyeKay said...

Ewwwwww!

Vicki Cupper said...

Barton Fink speaks for us all!

MISCH said...

What an idiot.....

Tara Green said...

He is the worse, skilled at manipulating and destroying women. When he broke up with Lilo, I knew it would destroy her, and it did. I refuse to watch any project he's involved in, that's all I can do...

Vicki Cupper said...

He's no better than a frat boy date rapist.

Seachica said...

Does this guy have a cock of gold or something? He is so obviously bad news, I don't know why any woman would give him the time of day.

chopchop said...

Isn't she a little old for him? He usually goes for the teenagers.

Daveb said...

You don't need intelligence to be an actor - so why be surprised when they do stupid things?

Anonymous said...

What? She's at least 14 years older than he normally likes them.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and the rumor is that he can golf with his dick. I guess he has the only big dick in Hollywood the way these gals jump at a chance to hop on it. He is such a douchebag.

Mamaroni said...

Noooooo Minka! Say it ain't so! How can you go from Derek Jeter to that sts carrying troll?

NernersHuman said...

I know I can't be the only woman in the world that couldn't care less about schlong size? I mean, I wouldn't want one of either extreme, but it's not something I obsessed over in my dating years. Maybe there's some bragging rights thing among H-Wood women.

Anonymous said...

My God. I'm sure moving on after Jeter must be difficult because it's kind of hard to top Derek Jeter (sigh...) but him? Ew ew ew. And she's so stunning, she can really have her pick of any guy.

But seriously, where do you go after Jeter? Brad Pitt?

Princess said...

Agree with ChopChop - she's a little old for him, he must be desperate. If their age doesn't end in 'teen' he usually has no interest.

hunter said...

No kidding, she's like an old lady for his type

DixieTheNoble82 said...

Groooooooss. I hate reading about a douchebag like this because more than likely, he'll never be put in his proper place. Homeboy, you are nas-tee.

Brenda Love said...

Layna Day gets today's creative writing award. Awesome description!

Liz said...

@Barton Fink- Agreed. He's a total loser, but she's not much better. Minka also dated that loser John Mayer. She looks like a nice, beautiful girl but the men she dates tells a different story.

Anonymous said...

I really like your choice of headline. Succumbs, makes me think of disease. In his case, not far off.

SusanB said...

Agree with Nernershuman - I NEVER thought size was remotely relevant. Technique is EVERYTHING! As for Minka - she always struck me as a little more sensible than this. Either she was blind drunk or she's not as smart as she comes across.

Jasmine said...

First of all, regarding size, ehem, there IS such a thing as TOO small IMO or too thin, but we dont have to go there lololol.

Anyways...I never thought much of Derek Jeter anyways. So to me, Minka is still swimming in slimy waters, but has simply suctioned onto another slimy creature in the black lagoon of STDs she apparently likes to swim in~

LynGBH said...

Derek seems to date someone until it becomes news, then gets rid of her...pronto. The women he's with look almost exactly alike as well...except for the whackass Mimi.

B. Profane said...

I'm a guy and even I think that shitheel should have his dick repossessed.

nolachickee said...

I'm into the new show Awake, but I throw up in my mouth a bit every time Wilmer is in a scene.

Minka, Minka, Minka. You disappoint me, girl. Thought you had more sense than this. Scrub yourself down with something strong and regroup. This behavior is not acceptable.

crila16 said...

NOOOOO...what is she insane? Why would she lower herself to that level? You don't go from Jeter to loser Wilmer toxic Valderama. Oh God...blame it on the alcohol.

Del Riser said...

What Barton said!!

DueDiligence said...

Derek Jeter is no less sleazy than Fez. Have none of you ever seen the Derek Jeter Herpes Tree from a few years back?

Talk about the gift that keeps on giving.

ardleigh said...

Succumbs? was Ketamine involved?

Lelaina Pierce said...

I think Wilmer is attractive but his rep makes him...revolting.

This girl is GORGEOUS. She sure has shit taste in men.

Geebz said...

Jeter is NOT attractive and is a disrespectful swine.
but...really?
Wilmer? Ugh!!!

Rose said...

You finally used her name, along with "ex-girlfriend". Thank you!

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