Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Your Turn

64% of guys said they want partner to help pay for dates, while close to half said they'd break up with a woman who never offered to pay. 76% of the 64% feel guilty for having a woman help. What say you about all of this?

52 comments:

Cathy said...

I think that at the beginning, whoever initiates the dates should pay (which is more often than not, the guy). Once it gets more serious, they should take turns.

I always feel awkward when I'm just starting to date a guy, but know I make twice as much money as him. When that's the case, I always insist on splitting the bill.

VIPblonde said...

He who has the penis pays

tara17 said...

It depends on how much money they each have. If the guy makes 200K/year and she makes 30K, he should pay for most big outings, and she pays for smaller ones. I also think there's something about the guy paying that feels like "courtship", and that's nice but not mandatory. Little attentions go a long way and are free.

MontanaMarriott said...

"No Money, No Honey" lol

Erin B said...

@VIP - Who is that? I don't recognize that...I mean, him.

Sugar said...

Hey Cathy, I already made out with all those guys you've been out on dates with.

lazyday603 said...

Cynthia Gibb and Daphne Zuniga had the last word on the subject in Modern Girls:

CeCe: And we never pay for parking. And we never carry cash, it's bad luck.
Margo: And we never buy our own drinks.
Clifford: Words to live by.
Margo: And we never wait in line.

MISCH said...

@VIPblond I am with you...

Karen said...

During my dating days, I would offer to pay for half on the first date (these dates were always initiated by the guy); if the guy let me, I judged prettty hard.

Whoever proposes the date should expect to pay for it--but if the gentleman wants to impress the lady, he should pay for the first few dates to show he's seriously interested in her. After that, it's reasonable to switch off or both put in money.

VIPblonde said...

@Erin Liam Neeson

Ruby Soho said...

agree with above posts, usually the guy pays in the beginning, unless I'm taking him out for like his birthday or something.
Once you've been together for awhile, it's more flexible and fluid.

Sugar said...

I freakin' LOVE that movie! Another classic is The Allnighter! Memba that one?

Renoblondee said...

I'm with all you guys. Uh, 'specially VIP.

babo said...

Let the guy pay every time, he s the one asking you out, the end.
But it s very nice of you to suggest cheap/free dates after the first one instead of going for lobster and caviar at his expense.
And if you really feel all feminist and guilty, from experience, a guy will prefer after a few dates (where he pays) that you offer him a small surprise, a thoughtful gift you ll be sure he likes.
That shows much your appreciation and your understanding of him much better than splitting bills like accountants in training.

only said...

Remember ladies in the words of Chris Rock
" however how much money a guy spends on you he is looking for a return on his money in the form of pussy payment"

Sarah said...

Exactly

Err said...

My now husbanded insisted on always paying when we were dating. I convinced him to let me pay once. The waiter brought back the credit card receipt, looked to him and said, thank you, Mr. "My Last Name". He took the check and said to me, "and that is why I pay". Even now that we are married and share a bank account, he still pays the check.

Count Jerkula said...

Generally, early dates, if the chick offers anything, I'll just tell her to leave the tip if she wants. That gives a chance to find out a lil about her.

After a full relationship is going, then it is nice for a chick to plan a date and treat once in a while. Dudes like to feel special too. If the relationship is a one way street, then it is a road to nowhere.

nevermindthat said...

Well we as women always said we wanted to be treated equal right; but now I guess that only implies to certain things.

That being said if it's the first few dates I believe the man should pay. If you have been dating for awhile it's ok for the woman to pay for the Big Mac every now and then.

Topper Madison said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DewieTheBear said...

You ask, you pay. The end.

He's The DJ, I'm The Rapper said...

I agree that if someone (A) asks someone else (B) out, A should pay. After that 1st date, if the want to keep dating, then possibly go Dutch. But when both ppl are looking, like with Internet dating, it should be Dutch. It always pissed me off when I was expected to pay the freight b/c I'm a guy, even though the date was a mutual thing (initiated by both sides). I also agree that if one side makes a boatload of $$ and the other doesn't, moneybags can pay.

rocky619ca said...

May I adore you?

Carol said...

V.I.P's answer was funny, but wrong. I'm guessing she doesn't have a son. No share expenses, otherwise get rid of her.

Jason Blue Eyes said...

I usually always pay, but once in a while my date will treat me to a night out. And when I do pay - I pay for a lot more than just a Big Mac and Fries. That's how it's done, A-Rod and Bieber.

rhinovodka said...

the man should pay at the beginning. after an established relationship, it is fine for shared paying or the woman to pay. I am old though, so maybe I think a bit differently..

AKM said...

Yep...you ask, you pay. And I don't believe in asking men out.

Consequently, I am single and couldn't get laid in a monkey whorehouse with a bushel basket of bananas. 'Salright most of the time, I guess. *shrug*

DewieTheBear said...

Thing is, I always make up for dinners paid for on my behalf with gifts. I'm overly generous in that area. If I were to do some Carrie Bradshaw "mental addition" with one guy, I could point to $5k in swag going his way from me, while coming my way? The most memorable item was a candle with the clearance price tag still on the bottom.

But he was hot, so there's that.

auntliddy said...

Agree with karen and others. Who initiates date and place pays.

auntliddy said...

Never, i never said i wanted to be equal. Maybe better, idk, in certain things. Man kills spider, sees what spooky noise is, answers door late at night. In return, i probably cook most of time, arrange social life, remember birthdays, do all giftt shopping, all shopping really, remind him to get suit dry cleaned near wedding or other event, make sure he gets correct medical care, good haircuts, calls his mom- wait. This may not be such a good trade off, lol. In light of this, yes, penis pays. ( like vagina does laundry)

Count Jerkula said...

Dewie had a Sugar Baby! Hot.

amanda_jf said...

I remember one of the first dates with my partner and I bought him a beer. He was shocked, no girl had ever even offered to pay for anything. I like to be treated like an equal in life. 11 years and 2 daughters later, I am still better with money than him. I want my daughters to be independent and not expect someone to buy them. How will women ever achieve equal rights if we keep up a damsel in distress act? My partner treats me right, I treat him right. ;D

Erin B said...

@VIP - Thanks! I couldn't tell who it was. I wanted it to be Tom Hiddleston, but I didn't think he'd done any nudity yet.

Nutty_Flavor said...

@Count Jerkula, I think this is the first time I've ever agreed with you.

It's nice for the guy to pay the check - in my opinion, much sexier - but after the first couple of dates the woman should go out of her way to show she's not freeloading - a little gift, making dinner, whatever.

Nutty_Flavor said...

Plus, letting someone leave the tip - male or female - is a sure sign of character. Someone who's cheap on the tip will be cheap emotionally. No thanks.

That said, back in my college days as a cocktail waitress, I used to love serving couples on first dates! Big tips to impress.

Smokey772 said...

I agree with everyone that if I asked a guy out, I would expect to pay. However, it's not about the money. I want a guy that is the type of guy that wants to take care of his lady. Take care of the check, open the doors, etc.

That being said, with 1st dates with guys I don't know well, I always go for the trusty wallet reach. This way he knows that I'm not the type of girl that expects it and it never fails that he pays. If he's not an asshole and the date is going well, I always insist on drinks after or that I pay next time which ensures that the date either goes on longer and increasingly intoxicated or a 2nd date.

Cathy said...

Also, until men can start bearing children, things will never be "equal," so I don't feel bad about the guy doing a little extra at the start of a relationship.

Tru Leigh said...

I'm officially old because I think this is outrageous.

Nichole said...

Always split the first date. If he throws a fit and won't let me pay for my own part he is not my type of dude.
You can take turns paying after that.

Cee Kay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cee Kay said...

What all this means is that men don't have a clue what they want. *L* I agree that whoever initiates the date pays. That person is the one who presumably chose where to go and what to do, so they can also have the bill. But I do think that the other party should reciprocate if there's going to be a next date.

Gayeld said...

Carry the 7, divide by 2 and then find the square root of the hypotenous.


I agree with those who say, in the beginning, the person who initiates the date should pay. But after long enough, I think it's more an our money than my money situation.

Seabee said...

Women make about .77 for every dollar men make. They can pay. It's chivalrous and women make it up by cooking, cleaning, etc.

Dolly72 said...

I'll be honest, I am 100% for gender equality and firmly believe that anything a man can do, a woman can and vice versa. That being said, that doesn't mean that we have to split all things in life equally- it just means we can. I like to be 'taken' on a date, it is part of what sets the mood. I like for my man to want to be a gentleman, and that means holding my door, helping me off with my coat and yes, footing the bill for dinner or drinks. In return, my man has my full attention and focus, I do my best to be attractive, entertaining and funny so that he can be proud to have me sitting across from him. If he can't afford dinner or date night out, then I am just as happy curled up on the couch watching a movie and making him a meal... its not about the cost, it's about the intent. I would happily spend an entire day in the kitchen to make my guys' favorite meal in order to make him feel special, and don't expect him to do half the work or field the dishes at the end, because I want him to feel taken care of too.

NaughtyNurse said...

A woman should absolutely help pay--or at least offer! If the relationship works out, in all likelihood it will be a partnership, meaning it will be "our" money. Unless, of course, the couple winds up in one of those weird relationships where each partner is responsible for his/her own bills and nothing more.

Wen said...

If a man asked me out to a first date dinner and expected me to pay half when the bill came, I would be very suspect about his level of maturity. If it was discussed and agreed beforehand, I would no issue paying half.

Jacq said...

The guy needs to pay for everything at first, so the girl can spend all of her money looking good and keeping that coochie neat. After that, he's trapped and you can let yourself go.

Seahorse said...

@auntliddy I have a Niece who is a partner in a major Accounting firm Husband works and always has but nowhere near the money so they have had a sort of reverse situation he raised the boys on a day to day basis kept house cooked etc as for laundry I always said my great nephews didn't think any job was gender centric except laundry and they were pretty sure girls just did t know how LOL

Seahorse said...

Didn't know how

Jenn said...

I always said it was my turn to pay for the movie, or supper. If it made the guy that uncomfortable, and he flipped out, I backed off. But, usually I didn't go out with that guy a second time.

When I buy my husband a coffee or a burger now with the cash in my wallet (that's still technically ours) he just grins and says he's my kept man. He's so full of shit. But I love him.

The Real Dragon said...

@dewie YUP. Whoever invites pay.

Hegg said...

When a guy asks ME out, HE pays. I pay the tip and I'm a good tipper. It does not have to be an expensive date or anything though. I'm happy with ice cream at the park.
If I like the date, I'll ask him next time and then I pay.
That has always seemed to work out for me. No miscommunications about me "owing" him a Bj or anything before the date ends. I've heard this type of thing from a couple of women I know, but luckily I have avoided that skanky behaviour.