Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Blind Items Revealed

May 10, 2013

This former almost A list mostly television actor who now makes a really good living just being himself tried and failed to have bathroom sex with his girlfriend this week. Apparently our actor had a little too much to drink and kept slamming himself and then his girlfriend into the stall because he could not keep her upright. Finally, after she suffered a gash to the back of her head, he called it off.

The Hoff

28 comments:

auntliddy said...

Brain bleach, stat!

Sugar said...

Clumsy drunk ox.

Janieb said...

Just the fact that she is his girlfriend is truly stupid!

TalksTooMuch said...

I love the Hoff. He is ridiculous but sweetly completely unaware at the same time.

chopchop said...

Was there a cheeseburger involved?

D Brown said...

The gnash on the back of her head clearly shows he didn't make her get down on the filthy bathroom floor doggie style. Clearly a perfect gentleman.

VIPblonde said...

@Chopchop It's the Hoff. There's always a cheeseburger involved

Meanie Rhysie said...

What a pussy!

chopchop said...

@VIP Love it LMAO!

Ivana Hump said...

Hey don't hassel the hoff

Steampunk Jazz said...

She must of been pretty wasted herself if she couldn't ride without flopping into the walls...

sandybrook said...

Pathetic I should hate Y&R for ever making him famous.



Anothergrayhare said...

@Steampunk I just snorted my Diet Coke up my nose. Thanks.

Count Jerkula said...

Am I the only one not to have sex in the shithouse of a bar or restaurant?

J Ruth said...

Nope. Let's cross it off our Bucket List, Count!

Count Jerkula said...

Gaddam Nope, you love to tease me, huh?

How do you envision it? Pants around your ankles and bent over or skirt up, me sitting on the toilet and you riding it out?

Fairmaiden327 said...

@count...you forgot da club!

J Ruth said...

Yup and I was thinking more of a bending pose as sitting seems uncomfortable and loud. But let's face it, both would probably happen bc you're gonna have to change it up in a small uncomfortable space.

Count Jerkula said...

@Nope: I'm too much of a gentleman to ask your weight, but if it is possible, I could always pick you up and put you on it.

My ex was petite. Sometimes we'd be in mish, I'd put her legs on my shoulders and tell her to put her arms around my neck, then lift her off the bed. Standing sex would lead to some hard pounding. Once I'd start to tire, I'd grab her ass, slide her up onto my shoulders and do some licking before putting her back on the bed and continuing.

Transitioning to a standing 69 was fun too. Some chicks don't like it when you do a standing 69, then walk over and put em up against the wall. Fun to do for a couple pumps though, just to let them know who is in charge and who is upside down with a cock in their mouth.

H888FUL said...

Why on Earth would anyone want to screw in a place where lots of random people shit, piss and do God knows what else?

Count, you had an actual relationship? Wow, I am impressed! Was she a stripper or just extremely emotionally damaged? How long til you cheated, or were you two in an "open relationship"? So many questions but you fascinate me!

Also, I will suck dick all damn day but keep your face OUT of my crotch. HATE IT. In fact, the perfect sex encounter is you getting your dick sucked and not touching me at all. Oh, and you finishing really quickly because I mastered the art so I can get it over with and go do something else like scrub the toilet or make a sandwich (not for me silly, I'm too fat, only salads and water here!). But I'll do whatever and even pretend to enjoy it. Why not?

H888FUL said...

*except in the shit house. If you get a nasty infection it takes you out of commission and what else is a female for but cooking, cleaning and fucking? Lol :)

J Ruth said...

888, I disagree with everything you say every time. It's almost amazing. You're my anti-Nope, my antithesis, s Nope in a parallel world, and reading your posts is like watching a truck run over an adorable kitten. I assume you're mostly trolling, but if you do hate receiving oral I genuinely feel bad for you. It's pretty much the greatest thing ever.

J Ruth said...

@Count, Whew did it just get hot in here? You've asked a few times about my body type so I will tell ya. I'm not petite, but I'm not fat. I'm a true hourglass - big tits, small waist, big hips. A woman's woman. Could you lift me? Maybe. Probably. I'm not sure how big you are, but maybe we'll find out?

kerri said...

888: you are my hero

NaughtyNurse said...

HA!! That's funny!!

Count Jerkula said...

@888: Damaged. Never cheated.

@Nope: Sounds fun.

Anonymous said...

We need to establish a better early warning system.

Anonymous said...

Standing 69? Gotta try this once I'm off my rags (please refer to scene from film "Idiot Box". Best. Ever).

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