Saturday, January 27, 2018

Blind Item #6

This foreign born still one hit wonder was yelling at this married singer who had by far the biggest hit of 2017. Well, he sang it with at least one other person. Anyway, the foreign born singer was at this pre Grammy party and started listing all of the times she had sex with him or done other things with him and as she recited each act got louder and said she wanted what he promised her. She was shaking when she finished. He was in shock and just wanted an escape. He got out of there as quickly as he could.

35 comments:

sandybrook said...

Iggy\Luis Fonzi

Tricia13 said...

Iggy azalea and?

Amanda said...
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Steven said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steven said...
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sandybrook said...

Luis Fonzi is currently married to wife #2

one_eyed_bob said...

Iggy has a weird face...probably hurts her negotiating power

fustian said...

Enty speak translated to English (lemme know if I left out any important details):

There was this dude at a pre-Grammy party. Good singer even though he was born overseas. In fact, he had by far the biggest hit of 2017 although he did sing it with at least one other person.

Also at the party was a "lady". Not born here in the good ol' USA, she is also a singer, but not nearly as successful as our dude. In fact, at this point she's in danger of going down in music history as just another pathetic one-hit wonder. (The shame!)

Apparently the two singers had engaged in a number of private "duets" in the past. You know: bouncy-boucy. Gland to Gland combat. Rumpy-pumpy. Schoodlypooping, if you catch my drift. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

Well, the lady apparently felt all of this waka-waka did not come for free. This IS Hollywood after all! That shit comes with strings!

So right there at the party in front of God and everybody (the BIG G, not Weinstein), the lady starts enumerating all of the previous acts of sexual congress she had granted our male singer. Not only was she naming times, she was revealing details!

Worse, as she got deeper into her list, she kept getting louder and louder, each time insisting that she wanted what he had promised her (presumably some path to another hit song or two). By the time she finished, she was shaking with anger.

Remember, she's a singer. She probably had the volume pretty high up there. I bet that shit CARRIED!

But here's the deal. Our dude is MARRIED...

Busted!

He looked in shock. Kind of like he'd just come on Weinstein watering the shrubs.

In the end, he beat such a hasty retreat he left skid marks.

Oopsie!

nonyabusiness said...

she is not a singer and she is not in danger of becoming a one hit wonder, she is already a one hit wonder
she hasn't had a hit since she came out with that shitty song "fancy" which came out in 2014...

anyway, this is igloo azalea / luis fonzi

hunter said...

WOAH FUSTIAN!!! Way to kick it up a notch!! I'm loving it!!

Who knew we've needed you all this time.

Yesterday's was good but this one is fantastic! You're providing a needed service and I thank you.

You got me laughing out loud for realz.

SteveD said...

If Enty means Iggy he isn't accurate. She had the no. 1 and 2 songs at the same time with Fancy and Problem which hadn't happened since the Beatles. She had at least three multiplatinum songs plus several other single platinum or gold. I don't like her but those are the facts.

Jeweled Skye said...

Whenever I see/read "One Hit Wonder" my mind falls off the Carly Ray Jepson cliff and then I have the Call Me Maybe earworm ... yep, there it goes...

MsDrtMover said...

@fustian...Love, love, love the translations!! You definitely have the flair for it!

Jax129 said...

Carly Rae is on tour with Katy Perry right now, not sure if they are going to be around for the Grammy's

Gator said...

Iggy needs to go back to Australia.

Michelle Broxton-Haugh said...

Not sure of the girl but could the married man be Pharrel Williams? He sang on "Feels" which was a huge hit, he is also a high powered producer who could help a one hit wonder.

Unknown said...

+1

Terry Teratoma said...

"Good singer even though he was born overseas. "

What...😂

Snappy Dragon said...

Fustian - you should reword all the blinds from now on! Made so much more sense to me!

MatineeIdolx said...

I nominate you to interpret all of the blinds from this day forward! "Rumpy Pumpy"! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Boldblonde said...

Great job Fustian!

Kara Zor-El said...

Iggy and Daddy Yankee (the other one in Despacito), just to be different

J said...

She wanted that career progression that she was promised and owed. Damn, "pick up" is pretty freakin' easy when you're rich and famous...

Violet said...

Brit slang for doin' the Nasty. Fustian, are you English?

Malamia said...

Amazing!! This reinterpretation made my day!

fustian said...

@violet, No, not British. I'm stone cold "Murican".

I read a lot and speak English fluently in addition to my native American.

Cheers!

PattiJoy said...

Enty, hire @fustian as your translator. He brings the funny.

Mia Monteiro said...

@Fustian..... I probably love you or some shit.

Deborah said...

Fustian - thank you!

Dumblesnore said...

this times a thousand

Belinha Mcdermid said...

Also think it's Daddy Yankee. He probally promisses a track or a collaborative, he is more hip hop orientated than Luiz Fonsi.

mistang said...

It doesn't say the guy is foreign born for sure, just the female one hit wonder.

Zeroh Tollrants said...

Iggy/Daddy Yankee

JoeyJoeJoe said...

I guess enty considers Puerto Rico overseas.

No idea about the girl, so Iggy sounds as likely as anyone else to me.

The Adventures of... said...

😂😂😂 great re-write! Been a while since I've heard the phrase rumpy pumpy, so thanks for that too!

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