Wednesday, December 06, 2006

My Week with K -- Part 2

When I arrived at his suite he was wearing only a robe, his hair was wild, and he had for him a terrified expression on his face which was really pale. The girl of the night was not to be seen which only raised my anxiety about what was going on here in the middle of the night..

I asked what the problem was and for his answer he opened his robe completely. Not something for the faint of heart, and definitely not for viewing at 1am. Again, still have the nightmares.

The problem was that K had taken some type of Viagra alternative at about 6pm and the reaction he was hoping for was not quick enough. Therefore at 630pm he had taken another one. Still nothing. Thinking this alternative was weaker than Viagra, he then proceeded to take several at once. He was unsure how many, but perhaps 4 or 5 more which were in addition to the original two. 7 hours after his first pill, he was still good to go as he proceeded to show me repeatedly as he never tied his robe again. (Thanks for sharing) He thought a depressant might work, but having none, he proceeded to quickly drink four or five tumblers of whiskey. Nothing happened and the matter was becoming more painful.

What made K call me was the girl’s suggestion that he call a doctor. He had no intention to call a doctor and instead wanted me to call and pretend I was suffering from the ailment. So, I called down to the concierge who wanted to know why I needed a doctor and if he could be of any help. He then wanted to know my affliction so he could direct me to a doctor who handled that type of case and was still available. Meanwhile I have K right next to me and I am inhaling his essence while he keeps asking me what the concierge and then doctor are saying. After I told the concierge I overdosed on Viagra he gave me the number of someone who could help. The number went to an answering service and so I had to leave a message explaining my problem and give my cell # because K did not want it coming to his hotel room.

So we waited. And waited. First standing, and then sitting. He went to check on the girl who I later saw. She was about mid twenties but no matter of darkness or makeup could hide the fact she had a hard life and being with K was not going to make it much smoother. We waited until 2am still without the problem going down so to speak. Finally the doctor calls and I have to pretend I am some hopped up Viagra freak who has had an erection for 8 hours. Meanwhile I again have K constantly asking what the doctor is saying. I am having trouble hearing and so turn to K and say the doctor thinks they may have to stick a needle in your dick and drain the blood. Seriously, the look on his face was priceless. Yes, those MasterCard commercials talk about priceless, but this one was the best. I will never see quite that look again in my life, but it really made the whole week worthwhile.

I let K off the hook and tell him it is possible but unlikely that a needle will soon be draining the blood from his member, and that the solution is actually five feet away. The ice bucket. I tell K to soak his private areas in ice and it should go down. He asks me to do it for him, and I tell him absolutely no way. He does make me stay though to make sure the remedy works and to take him to the doctor if it does not. He grabs a washcloth, fills it with ice and then proceeds to ice himself down. The first touch brings out a scream from him and the girl from the next room. She is dressed, takes one look at the situation and tells K she needs to go. For once, K is basically quiet and thanks her and she leaves. Within 15 minutes the swelling is down and K is back to normal.

Normal in this situation means blustery, arrogant and drunk. I tell him I will see him in the morning and leave.

The next morning I was exhausted, but K was actually looking healthy. It was amazing to me that he could drink as much as he did everyday and night and go through what he had the previous night and still look ready to do it all over again. Have I mentioned his breath? Toothbrush? Not so much. The breath was either coffee or liquor and when he had neither, I got a morning hello to end all morning hellos. By this point in the week I had already discovered this toe curling fact and so came prepared with coffee.

K begins to launch into a spiel about how he learned something from what happened the previous night and that he was going to have to reassess things. I assumed he meant that he would maybe cut back on the indulgences and just being so over the top. The situation was almost like a parody. It was something you had to see to believe. Instead what he said was something like he was going to have to explore this further.

Originally this day was supposed to be the last day he spent in the office and so arrangements had been made for lunch. People wanted to be with him, but most important in LA, be seen with him. This was a situation K thrived on. As disgusting as he could be in close quarters or in private, he was completely the opposite in public. Lunch was at The Ivy, and if you are not familiar with The Ivy, look back at my old posts and there is a description of it. The entire party was on the patio and K was charming and gracious and showed remarkable self-control when it came to his drinking. I realized later that this was about the only acting K did anymore and to him it was a performance. Most of the people in the group had not been with him all week and so this is what their image of K was. He played it perfectly and you could just see and feel his presence and knew right then how he had been such a huge star. He was portraying his own stereotype and it really was enthralling to watch. He was a star again, if only for a lunch.

The fun started after lunch on the way back to the office. On the way to lunch he had acquiesced, and had traveled with the powers to be in a limo. Now, however he was back in my car, and the drinking began immediately. Prior to lunch he had ordered me to buy his afternoon bottle of whiskey and to bring it with me in the car. By the time I sat down in the drivers seat, it was out of the bag, uncapped and the first swallow had gone down his throat.

The ride back was surreal. He basically replayed lunch out loud for me even though I was right there the whole time. After every sentence was a swallow of whiskey and by the time we got back to the office it was gone. He was flying now, and since he knew he was going to be back for one more day just wanted me to return him to the hotel, AFTER we stopped by the liquor store. In the morning one of the secretaries kept talking about sushi and tempura (she got a raise) and K was hooked. Japanese was on the menu that night and what do you know there was a lovely little place inside his hotel.

I was ecstatic to drop him off. A whole afternoon of his calls and molesting of the females in the office was not going to happen. Only one more day, and a trip to the airport and he was gone. What could go wrong? 2am phone calls are never good. It is generally when people stagger out of bars and drunk driving arrests made. I dread these calls because invariably someone is either in jail or needs a ride or both.

The noise on the other end of the phone was deafening and K’s voice was even louder. He always came close to yelling whenever he spoke on the phone and because it was so loud in his hotel room, this time his voice was reaching epic proportions. He needed me he said to come right over because there was an emergency and that since I had done so well last night, I should be able to help tonight. And on my way over I should pick up some booze as well. I told K everything would be closed and he screamed booze was needed and to use my imagination.

This week I am talking about happened a couple of years ago now and so I would probably not take this kind of abuse anymore. I say probably, because you just never know sometimes what you will do. Sometimes you just smile and play nice and sometimes you just choose to not represent that person anymore or not even start in the first place. If I could go back in time to the guy who got the 15 year old pregnant, I would probably choose not to represent him and when they came back the second time, I did say no. Anyway.

I ransacked the bar at my place and gathered up my liquor bottles. Somehow a bottle of brandy broke in the car and actually the smell was quite pleasant until it had a chance to soak into everything. When I got to the hotel, there was no valet around so I had to park my car on the street and then lug these grocery bags filled with liquor down the street while the smell of the brandy wafted off of me just like K and his whiskey.

I could hear the party while still IN the elevator. I cannot imagine anyone on K’s floor being happy about the noise, but he would have just told everyone off if they came to the door and the management was not going to call the police. The door was propped open with a shoe and when I walked in, the temperature was about 20 degrees warmer than the hallway and the smell of smoke was everywhere. There were about 10 people there. Six aging men in various stages of drunkenness and undress were there along with four women who were MUCH younger and who looked as if they might do this type of event for a living.

As I looked again at the men I recognized two of them immediately. One had been in a movie with K that I remembered and the other was someone whose presence floored me. (And really no matter the condition I saw him in, it was someone I had always wanted to meet. Even more A list than K. That person has passed away now, but I still remember seeing him there for the first time) I did not really comprehend what I was seeing because it was as if I stepped back twenty years before when they were all in their prime. That night they were definitely not in their prime and not suitable for film at all. The other men I did not recognize but they were all people from K’s past who were still in the business (although I did not know them) or had been.

The "emergency" was simply that the bartender the hotel had provided had gone home and they needed a replacement. Yes, that is right. K called me at 2am to have me come over and be a bartender. (And of course bring the liquor) Further, I was to be the chauffeur for the six men at the end of the night and whatever of the men chose to bring one of the young women home with them. Why should they call a cab when I was there to take them home. The fact that my car would be lucky to hold four of them at a time was irrelevant. One man even suggested I take him home in his car and then call a cab and come back to the hotel and repeat until everyone was home. Luckily no one really thought that was necessary except for him. I was actually just shocked that they were concerned about drunk driving.

So from 2am until about 4am I played bartender and then chauffeur. I also watched a bunch of old men grope, fondle, and make fools of themselves around women that were in some cases a third their age and also a third their size. It turned out that some people did not need a ride home because they did not have wives to go home to and so they just wanted to remain at the party with the booze and the ladies. When I came back from my last trip at about 430am or so, K, one of his cronies, and the "hero" were all sitting around in their boxers and t-shirts eating breakfast. Here were two screen legends eating plates of food with hardly any civility at all. Spilling it on themselves, swearing, telling stories and looking nothing like a screen legend while also saying how much the women had loved them that night. There were just such a range of emotions that night about what I was seeing and hearing.

I left shortly thereafter, and when I back to the hotel about 7am, K was there waiting, looking dapper in a fresh suit, but the rest of him was still K. We spent all that day together and at the end of the day I gave him a ride to the airport and made sure he was taken care of by someone from the airline. I then said goodbye and really never expected to hear from K again. This lasted about a week.

For the next year or so I was on K’s calling list about once every two weeks or so. The calls could come at any time of the day or night depending on where in the world K was and what he was doing. Now I was part of his stories. I am still on his call list, but now the calls are probably once every 4 or 5 months. I think when I changed my cell number one time he took it personal. Also he has other stories and other calling friends now. But when that phone rings and I hear him yelling at someone before he even says hello I kind of think about that week and how it is kind of a microcosm for all things Hollywood.

Everything is fake but at the same time everything is real and sometimes you really just want the illusion to remain and not peek behind the curtain and see the wizard or in this case a guy with fried egg yolk all over his clothes while he is smoking a cigar and drinking. That week was my first up close and intense look at the reality in Hollywood and I have shared with you other stories that just have reinforced that shattered image of it that I deal with on a daily basis.


Anonymous said... have got to be kidding. THAT is what we were waitng all day for.
SIGH... The old timer that died and is more A list than K? I know you were implying Marlon Brando.....
This is so predictable and formulated.

Anonymous said...

Why do they keep calling you for all their emergencies? good one!

JeeezeLouise said...

Yeah, I figured Brando for the one who has since passed. Now I need to find out who his buddies were ;)

Anonymous said...

weren't you disappointed Jeezelouise with this ending? viagra overdose? come on.....
it's kind of reminicent of Jack in Something's gotta give.

Anonymous said...

I don't think all of his stories have to be spectacular with really juicy gossip or anything. I found this story interesting to read even though it wasn't a big scandal or anything.

Anonymous said...

Some of you anonymous commenters should really show some manners... Gosh, sorry you're bored; maybe YOU'VE got a more interesting blog for all of us to read? Buncha whiners.

It also sounds a lot like Sean Connery and Richard Harris (who along with Peter O'Toole and Richard Burton were legendary boozers of epic proportions).

(And at least now we know Ent keeps a decently stocked bar at home! Yay!)

Anonymous said...

Although I laughed outloud at the Viagra story, as I continued to read I increasingly found the whole situation to be sad, depressing and pathetic. This person may have fame and money but he seems too lost in his own personal hell to appreciate it. I'm not sure if I want to know who this person is. Perhaps it is best not to break the Hollywood illusion with sad reality. Without hired help, this person would be one of those crazy homeless guys and not a revered legend.

Anonymous said...

first! hehe

Anonymous said...

I thought it amusing and sad at the same time. I feel sorry for entlawyer because it always kills a part of your soul when illusions are stripped away.

Anonymous said...

For a second there, I thought K WAS the wizard...

I am blonde :)

Anonymous said...

aw...poor rich ent lawyer. ha! funny!

Anonymous said...

Well I, for one, was absolutely riveted. If you ever decide to quit the law will you please promise me that you'll become a published author? That was fascinating, and I think a pretty solid summation of all things Hollywoodland. You're quite a talent.

Just out of curiosity, and I mean this in all seriousness, did you ever read through Jacqueline Susann's 'trash trilogy'? That was the only education I ever needed to gain a fresh perspective on the rich and famous; Mario Puzo's The Godfather also had some strange details (the public mating).

Well, keep up the good work, and don't let them rough you up too much. Your blog is my new best friend.

xoxo Dano.

Anonymous said...

okay.NEXT. I need one of these every day to break the monotany.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog! It is addictive.

Anonymous said...

Spot on! You tell 'em, Hez! Why all hate people? Guy gives us something fun to read, and you criticize his stories or doubt their veracity. But you probably told everyone you knew about the friend of a friend who worked in a hospital and was there when Richard Gere came in with a Gerbil up his ass.

Anonymous said...

the comments are the best part! love this keep em coming

Anonymous said...

Henry Warren Beatty

What do you guys think? He was supposed to be the subject of that song "You're So Vain" and he's known for his many women... plus he was good friends with Marlon Brando...

Anonymous said...

nah...he's too "stand-up" a guy. and who would cheat on annette benning? doesn't he live in LA also?

Anonymous said...

Yuck - I'll never use a hotel ice bucket again.

This just confirms how much I hate Hollywood.

Blech. It's such a depressing life.

JeeezeLouise said...

Anonymous, no, I was not disappointed with the ending, because I don't see this as primarily being a gossip site, but rather as a personal blog. While I do make the gossip rounds every morning, I also frequent a few personal blogs that belong to people I don't know, but enjoy reading.

The personal blogs are different. They are people writing about their lives, their friends, families, hobbies and jobs - their thoughts and feelings about their experiences. And that's really what Ent Lawyer is doing here, talking about his experiences and how they've affected him. Now, granted, his friends, neighbors and clients may be more interesting than our's, but a personal blog is a personal blog. I don't expect the guy up in Toronto blogging about helping his brother-in-law remodel the bathroom to deliver an earth-shaking revelation at the end of his daily post, but he's still an entertaining read :)

Yes, I do expect the gossip sites to deliver up regular delicious dish, but again I guess I don't see this as a gossip site.

Anonymous said...

Robert De Niro

Anonymous said...

I for one, loved it. So funny and tragic. Yup, musta been Marlon Brando. He was close to Sean Penn and his crew. That means Warren Beatty was there. I still think it was Connery.

and ent lawyer, do you know Joey?

Anonymous said...

You're right Jeeze, I guess I didn't think of it like that....I guess since he is representing himself as an ent lawyer with first hand knowledge of certain things, when they seem so falsified I get annoyed.

I was and am disappointed b/c it sounded soooooo fake and he's saying it's real. But if I look at it your way, then I can expect nothing more than a story he, and others, think is entertaining. Even when I don't.

Have a good day all! Seacrest out! ha!

Anonymous said...

Hero Hunter S.? Nicholson...K Dead a list Brando? sounds like a good night out with the boys.

Megan said...

oh WOW this is so interesting. So is it hard for you to see movies and TV shows and to pretend these people you meet are what their image portrays? I could never imagine being in your shoes. You are a very strong person and I'm glad you able to keep a sense of self in that crazy world. You must have an amazing support system aka friends and family. :D

Anonymous said...

When I initally happened upon this blog I never questioned the validity of these stories. I have however, begun to. Not that some of the stuff seems so outrageous (and some of it does) but because I cant imagine such a busy person being able to keep up with a blog. I realize that everyone, regardless of how busy they are, needs some sort of outlet and that could very well be the case here.

I have also begun to question the fact that this person who is privy to increadibly personal information about people finds it wise to document these facts and post them for all the world to see. I mean what if one of the people in question comes across this blog? What happens then? I'm assuming there would be reprucissions.

Now, dont get me wrong I do enjoy reading these posts but when I find myself racking my brain to figure out who the hell he is talking about in these blind items I have begun to pause. Am I wasting my time?

I suppose my questions will never be answered and maybe it's better that way. At least now when I need a gossip fix I dont have to settle for pics of Britney's gaping vagina.

I want this guy to be legit but I guess it doesnt matter if he is or not- entertainment is entertainment, whether it's fact or fiction.

JeeezeLouise said...

Personally, I'm going to totally love it if this site turns out to be an ARG trailhead ;)

Rebecca said...

What's an arg trailhead?????

Anonymous said...

If this is in fact an ARG Jeeze, could you explain to me what the game is? I am not familiar with what an ARG is and what it would be in reference to CDAN. Thanks in advance.

Anonymous said...

I want this guy to be legit but I guess it doesnt matter if he is or not- entertainment is entertainment, whether it's fact or fiction.

3:22 PM

So true, who cares if it is real or not, it is entertaining and keeps me from falling asleep at this computer while I should be working.

JeeezeLouise said...

Now that you ask, Rebecca, it's hard to explain ;) An ARG is an "Alternate Reality Game" and a "trailhead" is a site where the game begins. There have been loads of commercially-done ARGs ("Who is Benjamin Stove" was backed by GM, the TV show Lost did "The Lost Experience") but there are also many many many games put together and run by people who just like to do this stuff.

Most ARGs play out on the Internet, webpages, IRC, IM, email, etc. Everything looks real, the story evolves in real-time and the players interact with the "characters" in chat, emails and ... blog comments!

Here's a good article about ARG's -

The article focuses on the bigger, better known ARGs, but there are hundreds of small, grassroots games. I particularly liked this quote: "The Internet basically is about searching for things and gossiping, and we invented a way to tell stories that's about searching for things and gossiping."

StudioCypher is a commercial production, and is a good jumping-in place, as their games are intended for newer players.

Click on "Enter" on that page, you'll go to a page just like it, but move your cursor over the second page for fun ;)

However, the Golden Rule of ARGing is "TINAG - This Is Not A Game". The point is to suspend disbelief, and both players and puppetmasters adhere to that rule completely.

Here is the archived site from "Who is Benjamin Stove"

LonelyGirl15 is probably the best-known example of an ARG, to non-ARGonauts, but was absolutely not the best of the genre.

Go here if you want to learn more about ARGs and to find games currently playing. LonelyGirl15 is discussed extensively there, being really the first ARG to play out on YouTube.

If our Ent Lawyer suddenly disappears after leaving a cryptic and unsettling post, then for sure it's GAME ON!

Femme Cafe said...

I don't get the people who are complaining about the blind items... ans how the site is "gossip" or not. EL doesn't ask you to believe him, he puts out the story as he knows it, its upto you if you want to believe it but its fun to make the guesses.

This is an entertaining, fun blog that many people are getting addicted to quite fast.....

If you don't like it or believe the stories to be made up and false then simply don't visit the site/blog...

this story was so entertaining I LOL'd so loud at the 8hr erection! I think is Sean Connery but was he friends with Brando? the dead guy sounds like Brando...

JeeezeLouise said...

Here is a trailhead for a currently playing game:

Here is some discussion of that game:

And what is basically ARG Central for players:

Rebecca said...

Thanks Jeeze! yeah I looked up ARG on wikipedia, and your description is right on, but can you tell me if this is in fact an ARG, then what is the GAME? Is there a point or a game that we are playing, or is the game guessing these fictional characters? Thanks much....

JeeezeLouise said...

I was just speculating out loud that this could be a trailhead, Rebecca, I have no idea yet if it is or not ;) But the usual course is that the trailhead comes up, gets 'seeded' (usually they seed by word-of-mouth, emails sent to known ARG players, posts to other sites, etc) and attracts readers and everything seems relatively normal until the puppetmaster thinks he's got enough people watching, then the game begins - odd things start happening, strange posts, weird comments, etc. And that's when all the readers you've attracted fall into the "rabbithole" and become part of the game, trying to figure out what the heck is going on.

I don't know if this is an ARG, probably not, but many people have questioned whether a real "entertainment lawyer" would be posting this stuff, and if he's not, then an ARG would be really cool! :) :)

Jennifer said...

Sigh. This blog is another "The Lost Experience". Whether it is for a show or a movie, I will definitely be watching it. I love this blog.

JeeezeLouise said...

Here's another completely played out ARG:

Start reading from the beginning (July 2005 archives) to the end, and you can see how it starts out seeming like quite an ordinary blog.

There were several other websites involved in that game, but this is the only bookmark I can find now.

This one was a StudioCyphers production, which as I said aims for relatively new players.

Jennifer said...

Thanks JL!

JeeezeLouise said...

Okay, Ent Lawyer just said TINAG ;)

So I guess it really is, as I'd said earlier, a personal blog. I will say it's easily as entertaining as the guy up in Toronto who is blogging about the bathroom remodel!

Rebecca said...

Thanks Jeeze....fall into the rabbit hole. I LOVE IT! ha, to be continued......

Anonymous said...

Thank you JeezeLouise! I am such a total gamer geek and I somehow missed this ARG thing. It sounds fascinating. EA (Electronic Arts) was working on a similiar type game while I was working there where the game was supposed to e-mail or call you with clues. The name currently escapes me as it never took off.

I currently live in Hollywood and the thing is that these stories sound absolutely preposterous, but after living here for 6 years, not unlikely to happen. I am not sure if this is an ARG, but EL is at least an entertaining writer.

IMDB has extensive lists of people who died in recent years:

Either way, this is better than looking at Perez's ugly head :)

GGA (not GG Allin)

JeeezeLouise said...

Anonymous, if you are a serious gamer, you'll want to watch the unforums and argnet for trailheads. The commercially sponsored games (aka viral marketing) are fairly easy to find, because they are intended to be "found" by as many people as possible, and "solved" quickly. I much prefer the so-called "grassroots" games, which are gamers playing for the game.

Grassroot games tend to "seed" among the ARG community itself, so the unFiction forums where players congregate is the place to look for promising trailheads as a beginner. Once you've played a few games, you'll likely find yourself the recipient of weird emails that lead you to trailheads.

About a year ago, a game seeded via text message to people who'd found a trailhead and registered for updates to the site. It looked very promising, but ended up being a House of Chthon (MTV) viral that they just abandoned before it began. Dunno why.

Hope to see you in a rabbithole!

Anonymous said...

OMG! I love you! Keep up the great work!!!!

Anonymous said...

I love this site! Please keep up the great stories, they are so interesting!

Anonymous said...

I always found it funny that the French pronounce Sean Connery like the French work "connerie" which, loosely translated, means "bullshit"

Pink Meat Company said...

I believe this is Kirk Douglas...fits him too well.
and the 'hero' I thought of was Jimmy Stewart...although I am not sure of the exact date that viagra hit the market....Stewart died in the late 90s.

I do believe K is Kirk Douglas...picture him and you can smell him right away.

Anonymous said...

I think it's Michael Douglas as some have said. As I recall, there was an alleged incident where he wanted a 'special' massage a couple months ago in Ireland and the masseuse came forward saying how he sexually harassed her in a very lude way. If he's capable of that behavior, he is definitely capable of this blind item....

JeeezeLouise said...

The great Jimmy Stewart died July 2, 1997.

Viagra was approved by the FDA in 1998

Regardless, even if Jimmy Stewart were still alive and X17 had actual video, I would never believe that sweet man was ever less than the perfect gentleman.

(Yes, I have my fingers in my ears and am chanting "lalalala I can't hear you" now)


JeeezeLouise said...

I also considered Michael Douglas, but EL appears to be saying this person is a tad corpulent, and Michael Douglas is in pretty good shape.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy reading the odd post by ENT, just purely because they are sometimes quite interesting. And really who cares if what he says is true or not, it’s his interpretation on his blog. To all the other anon’s who deem it necessary to leave rude comments, I am always reminded of what a wise ol’ lady once told me ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at ALL’

Anonymous said...

I remember reading about that EA games years ago. A player would become an actual character that would receive calls at any time of the day. It would go on for awhile and the people loved it as long as they didn't die. The concept sounded interesting though maybe a bit too Dungeons & Dragons like for me.

I must say, reading the comments today have been better than the actual blog. I enjoy celebrity trash but hearing about some 70 year old dead drunk guy isn't that interesting.

Laura said...

I think the celebrity in the Irish hotel that wanted the "special massage" was actually Kevin Costner....xx

Anonymous said...

1) 'Hero' starred Dustin Hoffman. That's my guess.

2) That massuese story was about Kevin Costner, not Michael Douglas. I believe Defamer has the full story on that

3) I also guess Connery and Brando.

4) If you don't like it, quit reading and quit taking up valuable comment space.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, dont listen to all of the whiners complaining that your stories are not interesting enough...blah, blah, blah. If they are so bored, they need to go elsewhere. Personally, I think it is a fun and interesting blog...keep it up! Oh and clearly I have no issues with the dot dot dot, I have always typed that way :)

Anonymous said...

i like Hez's theory of COnnery and richard Harris, etc. Though it again depresses me to think of Albus Dumbledore being that type of fella, as it did that Connery is that type of fella. But Richard Harris died in the last couple of years (I'm a Harry Potter fan, and they had to find a new Dumbledore cause Harris died) and all of those men are famous famous, but quite old and no longer or very rarely making films etc...
But Brando is a good guess too, i'd say.

Anonymous said...


I may look into that if I have time. I swear that I get way too involved in games sometimes and thanks for the info.


I am glad that someone else remembered that game. The name will eventually come to me.


You are correct. It was not Michael Douglas who wanted a happy ending, it was Kevin Costner.


Anonymous said...

Well.. I've got a couple of guesses.. though I have no idea if they're married or not.. maybe someone else might?

John Voight, Nick Nolte, Joe Pesci..

Anonymous said...

Bea Arthur.

curious_cailyn said...

K, a.k.a. SEAN CONNERY...
I realize I'm WAAAAY late in posting this, but... Anyone who still believes "K" could be: A Pacino, M Douglas, C Eastwood, D Hoffman, J Nicholson, M Caine, R DeNiro, H Keitel, R Redford, H Ford, D Sutherland, G Hackman, R. O'Neal, D Hopper...or ANYBODY other than SEAN CONNERY, keep readin':

Consider these 5 statements by ENT:
..."This actor who is 60+ (very broad here, but think more on the + side)"...
..."K was and is married"...
..."I realized later that this was about the only acting K did anymore"...
..."Since K did not live in L.A"...
..."The week I am talking about happened a couple of years ago"...

Soooo, we know:
1) K is MUCH older than 60.
2) K was married at the time, and still is.
3) K hasn't acted in some time.
4) K is not a Hollywood "local"
5) The week in question probably occurred around 2003-2004.

EVERY other actor can be ruled out because: A) their acting careers are ongoing, B) they live in the L.A. area, or C) they aren't married. (Many also could not be described as "the ultimate A-lister.") ... Here's a rundown of each actor, along with (some) of the reasons they aren't "K":

Jack Nicholson: Divorced since 1990; still acting
Harvey Keitel: Still acting; not even close fame-wise
Ryan O'Neal: Divorced since 1973 (he & Farrah never married); still acting
Michael Douglas: Still acting, and at 62 he's not "old" enough
Al Pacino: Never married; still acting
Kirk Douglas: 90 years old(!); suffered major stroke in the 1996
Robert Redford: Divorced since 1985; still acting
Donald Sutherland: Still acting; (not an "ultimate A-lister")
Michael Caine: Still acting
Gene Hackman: Still acting
Robert Deniro: "Only" 64; still acting
Dennis Hopper: Still acting; sober for 23 years
SEAN CONNERY, howevah, is: 76 (much older than 60); Married for 32 yrs; Other than voice work, he hasn't acted since 2002 (League of Extraordinary Gentleman) and he officially announced his retirement in 2006; Lives in the Bahamas/ NYC.

SC has also been embroiled in numerous lawsuits over the past 5+ yrs. (Google him – he's very litigious!)

For example: In Jan 2005, SC's neighbors filed a $30M lawsuit, claiming that SC's renovations were "a source of constant noise, foul fumes, leaks and a rat infestation." ... They also claimed SC harassed them "by playing loud music at all hours and stomping about." When their daughter knocked on SC's door and requested quiet, "Connery's appearance and behavior was that of a rude, foul-mouthed, fat old man," court papers say. "Cursing and otherwise using indecent language, Connery...refused to lower the noise and slammed the door in her face."

Sound familiar? ENT wrote: "I could hear the party while still IN the elevator. I cannot imagine anyone on K's floor being happy about the noise, but he would have just told everyone off if they came to the door."

More lawsuits: In 2002, SC sued Mandalay Productions for $17 M, and in '06, he sued his country club for $1 M. In '04 and '05, he was sued for reneging on 2 different book contracts!

Re: the 2nd book, an entertainment network reported: "It is rumored that the actor feared his public image would suffer because Davies wanted to write a no-holds-barred book about the actor, who has enjoyed a wild sex life and has also endured claims of wife-beating."

Oh yeah! ..Remember that (infamous) 1987 Barbara Walters intvw, when SC said it was OK to hit a woman if they deserved it, or needed it to keep them in line..?

Nice guy. :)


1) We all know SC is from Scotland, and ENT emphasizes K's preference for Scottish whisky throughout the story.
2) In '04, SC was paid $1M to appear in a Dewars Scotch whisky ad campaign. (He'd previously shilled the Japanese whisky, Suntory.)
3) At the 2006 Edinburgh Int'l Film Fest, when asked the secret of his good looks/health, SC replied: "Scotch."

Whew! Case closed. :)

Anonymous said...

With that excellent post, I think curious_cailyn has tied it all up with a neat bow and we can pretty much pronounce this one solved!

Kudos to all for a job well done!

And if nothing else, I've learned which whiskey I'm asking for the next time my date says "money is no object". (And no, that date won't be Sean Connery!)

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Good job curious. You've summed up what some of us have already determined.

EL I hope you're not saying your hero was John Wayne (although he died so long ago).

Anonymous said...

From the beginning I was hoping it wouldn't be Sean Connery because I've always had such a crush on him, but deep down I guess it was obvious.
Not just for the details that curious_cailyn has extraordinarily explained (omg curious_cailyn you win first place! lol!) but for the general "feel" of the story: elderly A-lister, Hollywood outsider, scotch lover jerk? It had to be him.

I have to say, I LOVED the story, and ent lawyer told it really well! I really love this blog, it's like having this friend who's in the entertainement business and always has great stories to tell you when you meet for coffee in the weekends :D Keep it up ent lawyer!!

Anonymous said...

I'll agree that I don't really care who it is - it's a very interesting story, and well told!

Anonymous said...

1) K is definitely not Nicholson. Nicholson lives in L.A. 2) One of K.'s party chums is a movie legend who lives in L.A. (probably had breakfast at his house)and is now dead. That would be Marlon Brando (Ent said this BI took place a few years ago). 3) Based on Ent's other comments like hygiene, bad teeth, smoking, drinking, and that he was a "hero" who people "bowed to", my guess is Peter O'Toole (played two kings as well as Lawrence of Arabia!). He's a notorious womanizer and a major alchoholic (preferred drink is whiskey). Seems to be the right age.


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