Crazy Days and Nights: Jennifer Aniston Says She Feels Married

Monday, July 29, 2013

Jennifer Aniston Says She Feels Married

In an interview with the Associated Press, Jennifer Aniston was asked about her upcoming or not upcoming nuptials to Justin Theroux. Jennifer said all of that does not matter as they want to do it when everything is right and they want to do it when they want and not when others feel like they should and that the couple already feels married. Uh huh. To me that sounds like Jennifer is not in a big hurry to get married and does not need a piece of paper telling her she is married. I have a kind of silly question for you. Do you think Jennifer Aniston enjoys being the victim in the Brangelina thing and fears it would go away if she got married again? There would be no more tabloid covers about who she is dating or when she is getting married. She is getting too old for very many pregnancy covers any longer. Yes, The Globe is excluded and will continue having her get pregnant until she dies. If Jennifer Aniston is publicly married, than she has a new identity that she has not had in a very long time.

33 comments:

HJ said...: I'm betting he's the one with cold feet. Wasn't he with someone before her for like fourteen years without getting married?

Also if I were her I'd rather have my own happy ending in the tabloids than perpetually look like the jilted, dumped lover who can't find the right man.; 7:11 AM
Kelly said...: It's plausible. I don't see them getting married at all anymore. When you say you are waiting for everything to be perfect, that is never gonna happen.; 7:11 AM
surfer said...: The only ones who think she's a "victim" are members of the media, who refuse to let the Brangelina vs Jen drama die.; 7:15 AM
SueRH said...: I don't think she enjoys that kind of attention. She, along with the rest of us, is over it.; 7:16 AM
auntliddy said...: Agree with surfer. This crap about her wanting to be married or pregnant is made up shit. Ive said it 100 times- if she wanted to be married or have s baby, she would be. Its like she has a million jewish mothers, lol; 7:25 AM
Now! said...: Sorry for the long cut-and-paste here, but there's no direct link I can find to this story by ESPN's Bill Simmons on Jennifer Aniston, and it's the best thing I've ever read on the topic. It was written in August 2010.
-----

"Why can't Jennifer Aniston find a man?"

On the surface, this has nothing to do with sports. Just bear with me. Aniston became an A-list star thanks to "Friends." When the show folded in 2004, unlike everyone else on the cast, she managed to remain an A-List star despite making the following movies.

The short answer: Because of the Angelina/Brad/Jennifer love triangle, which is like Brett Favre's comeback/retirement/comeback routine multiplied by 10, but has been cruising along for twice as long. The saga evolved in various forms: the betrayal itself; the aftermath, when Aniston licked her wounds as "Brangelina" took off; her futile search for a bounce-back boyfriend; the Brangelina clan expanding; everyone feeling worse and worse for Aniston, with her finally admitting that she was still bummed out; the Brangelina clan expanding again; Aniston's weird dalliance with the much younger John Mayer, which ended when he talked out of school about her; the Brangelina clan expanding again; Aniston approaching her 40th birthday and wanting a baby; the Brangelina clan producing twins; Aniston hitting 40 with no baby or husband; Aniston passing 40 with no baby or husband; and now we're here.

People can't get enough of this stuff. Us Weekly throws Aniston on its cover every few weeks -- and if they can work Angelina into the split-cover, even better -- just because Aniston resonates with women like no other celebrity. No matter how wealthy or famous or good-looking she is, the nuts and bolts of Aniston's "tragic" story could have happened to anyone: She lost her scummy husband to a seductive co-worker. Maybe it was the worst thing that ever happened to her personally, but professionally? Godsend. She became America's adorable little victim for seven years until Bullock finally pushed her aside. People don't read Us Weekly to see pictures of happily married couples. They read for drama. Tragedy. Betrayal. Acrimony. They read to see someone's life spinning out of control, or to compare two people wearing the same dress, or to see someone taking out the garbage who's "just like us."

Aniston's life resonates with that demographic better than anyone. Now she's 41, still hunting for a man, her ovaries rumbling like Earl Campbell, but we're all a little confused because … I mean, how could Jennifer Aniston, of all people, not find a man? How could someone that attractive need a friend to set her up on dates? What the hell is going on here? Is she secretly super-annoying? Is she terrible in bed? Does she have bad breath or bad hygiene? Are her standards simply too high? Does she still pine for Pitt and any potential mate can sense it?

You're not going to believe this, but I have a theory …

I think it's all a farce. I think she gravitates toward guys who could never be a potential husband (seriously, John Mayer?) and FWBs (friends with benefits) over actually finding herself the right match. And here's why: The longer this drags on, the longer she stays on the A list. Staying single, ending up with the wrong guys, pining for a baby but never having one … career move, career move, career move. Keeps her on magazine covers. Keeps people saying "I feel bad for Aniston, Brangelina really screwed her over; her life's never been the same." Keeps a built-in publicity buzz for every crappy movie she promotes. Really, it's genius.; 7:26 AM
Now! said...: (Bill Simmons continued)

Swinging this around to sports (and thank God, you were getting nervous): The Aniston dynamic resembles a great athlete who couldn't win a ring in his prime, but now time is running out and he only has a couple more chances. In sports, we love when this happens! I don't remember the intimate details of Joe Montana's last few seasons (or Isiah Thomas, Scottie Pippen, Keith Hernandez, whomever), but I remember everything about Karl Malone's last few seasons. And Barkley. And Elway. And Marino. And Elgin Baylor. And Ray Bourque. And Gary Payton. And now, LaDainian Tomlinson and Steve Nash. The last stage of their careers became compelling simply because they wanted a ring and we wanted them to win one.

Aniston transferred that same dynamic to the Hollywood world. Say she remarried in 2006 to one of those Rande Gerber-type rich guys who owns cool bars that are in hip hotels. And let's say they had a kid in 2008. And another one this year. By 2010, would anyone care about Jennifer Aniston? NO!!!!!!!! Only if she was making good movies. Which, obviously, she doesn't want to do. She's happy being a likable celebrity with decent comic timing who plays herself in every movie (with only her hairstyle and co-star changing). I think that's intentional, too. She could have taken more acting chances -- remember how good she was in "Office Space," or as the sexually frustrated wife in "She's The One" -- but seems much more interested in protecting her brand. You can't differentiate between Aniston when she's being interviewed, acting in a movie or staring at you on a magazine cover anymore. It's all the same. That's the way she wants it.

I say she's much smarter than we think. Unlike with sports, she knows it's better for her career if she never gets that ring. She will continue dating co-stars, bad-boy musicians and people with lousy hair for the foreseeable future. You watch. So feel sorry for Steve Nash, but don't feel sorry for Jennifer Aniston. She's laughing all the way to the bank.; 7:27 AM
Yyisla said...: I never really understood why Jennifer Aniston was covered so much in the media until I read this NPR interview with Ty Burr. (Celebitchy provided reference).
It makes so much sense that and I've often wondered if she and Angie weren't just playing an old Hollywood PR game to mimic the Liz Taylor vs Debbie Reynolds stories. Recommended reading for all interested in celebrity culture.

BURR: Don't you understand? That's her movie now. That's where her narrative is... And we, you know, Jennifer Aniston built up a persona - consciously or not - on "Friends" and then after "Friends" in the gossip sphere with all of her various melodramas. And again, this has nothing to do with who Jennifer Aniston may actually be, but I'm talking about her public persona. And as she's made fewer and fewer movies, that narrative just hops over to the gossip sphere and the tabloid magazines and that's where the people who are fans of her - or fans of that narrative - that's where they follow that narrative, that's where that show is. That's where the Jennifer Aniston show is now. It's not on TV. It's not on the movie screen. It's over in this other form of entertainment that, again, probably doesn't have a lot to do with actual day to day reality.

http://www.npr.org/templates/transcript/transcript.php?storyId=175047371; 7:30 AM
Unknown said...: exactly. and good on them for not getting married. maybe they are already thinking to have an open relationship.; 7:32 AM
S.joy said...: @Nutty and Blank great reads! Makes alot of sense; 7:37 AM
rhinovodka said...: I think they are happy with what they have. Marriage is overrated.; 7:48 AM
Anonymous said...: I completely agree with the cut and paste from Nutty Flavor. And Enty's slant on it. It's a p.r, career move and she keeps picking party guys, cause she's a party girl, and doesn't really seem to want marriage and babies, if she did she'd already have done it. Either she likes playing the victim emotionally, or she likes it for the career exposure. Either way, I'm not going to cry for her into my pillow at night.; 7:59 AM
Anonymous said...: plus I think Justin Theroux has gotten cold feet and backed out, and is probably planning his escape. He's not a hollywood kinda guy, no matter how much she bleaches his teeth and fake tans him. He doesn't like the red carpets, isn't a pretty boy, etc.; 8:00 AM
Count Jerkula said...: I bet she pretends to feel human sometimes also.; 8:14 AM
L said...: Interesting bit and link @Blankverse - thank you for sharing it!; 8:15 AM
Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...: Maybe he won't sign the prenup.; 8:22 AM
libby said...: +1 to Nutty & Blank. ITA w/ all of it.; 8:38 AM
Yyisla said...: Glad you liked the article. I've read CDAN off and on over the years but don't comment much since I really just enjoy the comments. It's fun unless those crazy trolls hijack the site.; 9:21 AM
SophiaB said...: If I was Justin I would be LOOOOOONNNNGGGG gone! The last couple of months there have been OBVIOUSLY PLANTED unflattering stories about him. Obviously planted by her PR people.

I think he is just waiting for his new show to sink or swim. If it swims he leaves and goes back to his NY sleazy hipster life (too much time apart as the excuse).

If it sinks he can wait or just sink into the soft comfy life of aging boy toy and STILL leave whenever he wants.

She has become an endless PRBot and her changing stories are now just about the funniest thing in all gossipdom. Winning!!; 9:43 AM
SophiaB said...: Yep yep yep. She is a PlastiPRBot version 2013. Nothing is real. Thx 4 the PERFECT post @Count.; 9:45 AM
SophiaB said...: Maybe they already ARE having an open relationship. She clearly gives her PR peeps good money. Maybe they have sex to celebrate another cover story.

Does she collect all of her interviews, read them and have orgies of selflove?; 9:47 AM
__-__=__ said...: With her money she should get married?!?!?!!? Why? Look how long it took Tina Turner to get married. JA is way smarter than anyone thinks.; 9:50 AM
TalksTooMuch said...: OR she just likes to bone young hot dudes and doesn't feel like getting married. Someone said about Rick Harrison that after one failed marriage, if you don't want kids, why do it again? Just go out and bone more hot young dudes! Get it girl; 10:19 AM
Ziddolee said...: Count me as one of those people who think she should NEVER marry this guy. He is hot but he clearly is only with her for money and fame. It's almost like Larry Fortenski circling around the giant dollar machine that was old Liz Taylor and saying "Git me a piece of dat, an' I's never work agin!" What does he do now except act as her escort around NYC bumming cigs?; 11:12 AM
Henriette said...: I agree with the articles posted. It's not in JA's interest to get married or have a kid. I think soon she will be playing the jilted fiancée.; 11:40 AM
Bleu said...: I don't understand those who say she's not interested in the press. She's milked this thing for far more years than the marriage even lasted, and will continue to do so.; 11:41 AM
Silly Girl said...: @Count, that's exactly what I was thinking. She PRETENDS to feel human every once in a while (for the tabloids, to sell papers, to keep her name in the spotlight). In reality, she seems like she would have some pretty severe bitchy tendencies, and getting married isn't going to bode well for her again.; 11:54 AM
Seven of Eleven said...: @Nutty & @Blank, thanks for those articles. Very interesting take and it does explain a lot!; 12:07 PM
L said...: @Blankverse - don't get turned off by the trollz - there is still a bunch of good people around [not sure I am one of them.. but there are a few!] - stick around! even to just say hi once in a while!!; 12:47 PM
packer said...: Great post by Nutty Flavor and the NPR, they nailed it. Ditto.; 6:07 PM
Unknown said...: She is as stale as week old bread. This method works for her, then good for her. At least she isn't awful.; 8:54 PM
CanadianMiss said...: A womans worth is definitely based on what's on her finger and the state of her uterus.; 10:40 PM
AngieEatACheeseburger said...: I think its all BS. The media need the triangle to sell magazines & stories, she has been over it for years.; 12:58 AM

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Monday, July 29, 2013

Jennifer Aniston Says She Feels Married

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