Friday, September 06, 2013

The Hormones Are Making Mel Gibson Crazy Again

Ever since Mel Gibson decided to work on Expendables 2 he has been pumping iron and taking hormone replacement therapy. Like most addicts, I think he's hooked on this new feeling. The problem is that all those new hormones rushing through him have turned him back into the crank guy no one likes. Well, that's not tru and I need to apologize. Male racists think he's the greatest. The female racists just can't get over the sugar t*ts thing.

Last night in Malibu, Mel was pulled over at a DUI checkpoint. When Mel couldn't produce his drivers license the officers directed him to a secondary screening. Mel, who was with a young woman started yelling at the police and wanted to know why they were harassing him and he started copying down badge numbers and just went off on the police. If this was you or me we would still be whimpering about the tasering we received and the extra thorough body cavity check we endured after being booked.

Mel bluffed and yelled enough though that he was let go with just a warning. A warning for going off or not having his license with him, because it's not a crime to forget your license at home.

21 comments:

FSP said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristin Wigs said...

Welcome to "Demonic Possession is a Thing: Part 4" starring Mel.

Anonymous said...

Listen, I'm all for equal treatment, but we all know who Mel is. The cops wouldn't know who I am. The cops TRIED to follow procedure, but Mel is someone whose tax dollars probably do alot for the town or whatever. THAT is considered. Whether we like it or not MONWY, POWER and PRIVILEGE "corrupts".

Anonymous said...

*MONEY...

Brenda L said...

The old crank never went away, he just got unleashed for a few.....

Sherry R. said...

He looks so ridiculous.

DontRainOnMyPrada said...

I preferred MONWY. ;)

Count Jerkula said...

Who cares about Mel juicing?

Here is my public service announcement for the day:

Ladies, please don't buy cheep knock offs of the Hitachi Magic Wand.
NOT SAFE FOR WORK

Eros said...

Hilarious lol... The taser & body cavity search parts got me.

Unknown said...

Love ya count but warn please if nsfw :)

Unknown said...

Oops saw u did...I'm not feeling well & didn't even read ur clicky link. I apologize...love ya...ur one of the main reasons why I haven't dumped this site yet :)

Count Jerkula said...

Thank you Valerie.

Sugar said...

HULK MAD!!!

PS I'm so happy I know how to bold and italicize words (thanks JAS!)! Now all I need is to figure out that damned clicky link thing and I'll be all set!

Tru Leigh said...

Hormone replacement therapy? Is that what they're calling booze now?

Anonymous said...

Lol@PRADA.....

Rome said...

Whatever happened to cops beating the shit out of mouthy roided out douchebags? * Sighs *

Robin the Mad Photographer said...

Count: Apparently the young ladies didn't realize that plug-in vibrators (the kind that plug into the wall, you perverts, although depending on how you're built...) aren't supposed to make those kinds of sounds. Remember, kids: if your blow dryer sounded like that, you'd turn it off, right? Same deal w/your cheapass vibrator, because you really don't want to have to explain those kind of electrical burns at the ER, or--worse--have the coroner find you like that. (And yes, I second shelling out the money and getting a Hitachi--remember, you get what you pay for...)

Count Jerkula said...

Damn straight Robin. My ex took 2 sex toys with her when she left: the Hitachi and a high quality purple glass vibe. The rest I boxed up and sent with the rest of her crap. It ain't like my next chick is gonna use em.

P.S. I love watching forced orgasms via Hitachi. One of the few times I think the whore in the porno isn't faking.

Sandy said...

He's such an incredible pig.

Unknown said...

He is the best actor director today! OK, well he does not like Jews because they attacked him for making passion of the Jew or Christ, whatever. The movie was great and likely an accurate historical account to boot. Jewish groups conspired to keep theaters from carrying the film. Of course he has an issue with them.

Unknown said...

He is the best actor director today! OK, well he does not like Jews because they attacked him for making passion of the Jew or Christ, whatever. The movie was great and likely an accurate historical account to boot. Jewish groups conspired to keep theaters from carrying the film. Of course he has an issue with them.

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