Saturday, November 23, 2013

Francesca Eastwood Rebounds With Jonah Hill's Brother- Gets Married

There is hope for all sweaty fat guys in the world like myself who don't ever think they will have a chance to marry a former Miss Golden Globe and daughter of an Academy Award winner who loves being naked and has sex twenty times a day. But guess what? Jonah Hill's brother Jordan Feldstein managed to do just that. Tired of scraping up Robin Thicke and Adam Levine's toss aways he managed to snag Francesca Eastwood after she got cheated on and dumped by Tyler Shields. What do you do when you rebound with someone and get wasted in Vegas? You get married.

47 comments:

Freya said...

Hmmmm...
Is that the only picture of him available?

Gypsy said...

Its hard to have 9 Hollowwood marriages if you don't start early.

Brenda L said...

Oh I don't know...he has a certain appeal about him. Lots of moisture.

JSierra said...

He provides his own lube.

Count Jerkula said...

God bless women with low self esteem.

Jacq said...

He looks like a tub of shit. Have fun with that one!

WareCat said...

dude looks like a sex offender.

warmislandsun said...

Nasty eew. She has bug face. He is just sweaty. Always sweaty.

Cheryl said...

Pit stains on his chest. Nice! What a catch. Annulment in 3...2...1

Paint Chips said...

💕 Sounds like true love - these two are going to live happily ever after for sure!

Patience Grasshopper said...

Which of Clint's women is her mother?

Anonymous said...

I was accidentally on the dirty site and there is a whole write up what a gross jerk this guy is and a pic of his super small peen. I wish I could unsee...

Kathleen said...

This guy's had an interesting week. I read the dirty and that writeup was hilarious: http://m.popdust.com/latest/528e20b0cb007105731a432b-jonah-hill-vs-nik-richie-actor-accuses-king-of-sleaze-of-trying-to-ruin-his-brother-s-life

Bacon Ranch said...

6 months

Kels said...

This is all I can come up with as to why this would ever happen.

Dom/sub.

He has a huge penis.

He's hilarious.

audrey said...

Annulled in less than a month.

Kels said...

Oh damn I was wrong lol shouldve read all the comments first.

I'm stumped!

OneEyeCharlie said...

I'm astounded that you people just can't accept that this is true love...




Oh, fuck it. I can't keep a straight face either.

Anonymous said...

I know the feeling. I did the same after my ex dumped me and went for wine and rebound. But guess what? I m getting married with my rebound and I love him as I never loved anyone before. I wish Francesca all my best

Count Jerkula said...

Sometimes lil bitches fall for big dudes. I think it has to do with the broad having a poor body image and are attracted to a dude who doesn't give a shit what people say, so they are comfortable walking around at a happy weight. That is how I justified my ex being into me, until I figured out how nuts she was.

P.S. That Eastwood bim is 4'10. She must use this dude like a bouncy castle.

Bacon Ranch said...

She kind of does look like a praying Mantis

The Real Dragon said...

I seen is Vienna sausage, Good Luck

Count Jerkula said...

Wait. Google has her at 4'10, but IMDB has her at 5'5. I am confused and disappointed.

Since it is apparent this is a fat shaming friendly comment section, I think she latched onto the best she could get before she has to get off the Adderall or coke and expands like a dying sun. Look at all the meat she caries through her hindquarters, and she's only 20?

Dude could have done better being Jonah Hill's brother. I'd still bone her though.

Sugar said...

Every comment made me laugh. I have nothing to add, y'all said it all beautifully already.

Tara said...

Let's be real. If this guy manage Maroon 5 and Robin Thicke he gets ten percent of MILLIONS a year. Maybe she did it for the money and not for the drunken shiggles.

auntliddy said...

this may be over by christmas! She's determined to hit the skids asap.

JoElla said...

Bouncy house bwhahahhahahahahhaahha!

ooh that made my day!

Also, per google, this seems to be one of the few pictures of him, but tons (and I mean tons) of the wifey now attached to his name!

HannahBanana said...

I thought Tyler shields was smarmy & skeezy...but damn this guy is just...eeeewwwwwwwwwww.

MISCH said...

She's not well mentally…what a handful and she's so young

Count Jerkula said...

I tell ya what, JoElla, as a thick and meaty dude, it is great when a tiny broad plays bouncy house with you. Even better if she is all energized from meth or coke.

Standing and having the chick use you like a jungle gym is also an enjoyable experience.

JSierra said...

Damn you all to hell for posting that link. His penis looks so tiny and fragile, it honestly looks like a naked mole rat. All pink and wrinkly and the size of your thumb. Actually, a thumb is being generous.

sandybrook said...

One of them married out of their league.

Unknown said...

I give it 2 weeks. Or they are pulling a PR stunt and will try to annul it faster than 60 hours like Ms. Spears.

Jason Blue Eyes said...

Alternate headline: Francesca Eastwood marries Rob Ford.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Why did I look at his penis? WHY?!

TalksTooMuch said...

Well fancy will be glad you guys did all the heavy lifting for her. Why is everyone assuming she's the one that settled? This chick is psycho, he's the one that should have thought twice.

Anonymous said...

im interested in who tyler shields cheated on her with and broke up with her for?

Kelly said...

Lol @ this thread. You guys are awesome.

OKay said...

@Patience her mother is Frances Fisher, who is a really good actress. I love her.

VintagePrincess said...

to the person who said she did it for money: her father is Clint fucking Eastwood. She's set.

(and her mom has plenty of $ too)

OneGirlRevolution said...

He may not be Chris Hemsworth, but she is really, really odd looking; and not in an attractive way.

Brenda L said...

She looks like an anime version of Kate Moss.

Meanie Rhysie said...

Oh myyyy!!

Jenny said...

David Miscavige is weeping over Eastwood moneyz

Aoife said...

The annulment should be coming any minute now...

redronnie said...

Just when I thought Rob Ford's 15 minutes were up..

Big Bambu said...

He looks like a young Harvey Weinstein.

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