Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Your Turn

How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?

52 comments:

Cleodacat said...

2, I'm a lightweight.

The Dude said...

Depends on the Pour, my way 1.

WareCat said...

just enough to take the shakes away.

Merlin D. Bear said...

What'm I drinking?

Little Broken Bird said...

1 for wonky eyes and giggling
2 for laughing and crying at the same time
3 for helicopters/vomiting
4 for the most amazing dancing you have ever witnessed
5 for the best sex you've ever had
6 for a passed out mess

MontanaMarriott said...

Depends, what I am drinking, how heavy handed the bartender is, did I eat before hand.

amused bush said...

Depends on the time of the month, sometimes two, sometimes eleventeen.

Threat Level Midnight said...

Of wine? 4/5ths of a bottle if it's red; a whole bottle if it's white.

Lite beer probably 8-10 drinks? It's hard to say because I usually get too full before I can get up to that.

Flygirl said...

Ditto @Cleodacat!

Meanie Rhysie said...

LOL You people are funny!

Meanie Rhysie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kelly said...

I don't like to say.

Violet said...

Pre children I could keep up with Mr Violet pint for pint. 16 years and 3 children later I can barely eat a tiramisu without feeling squiffy.

Melpomene25 said...

More than it should ;-)

Jason Blue Eyes said...

How many drinks does it take to get a Lohan drunk?

Sugar said...

Why are you asking? Are you planning to take advantage of me?

Seven of Eleven said...

Seven or eleven.

LottaColada said...

Ha! Let's just a lotta coladas ;)

Count Jerkula said...

What else am I taking? Couple lines of meth and I'll drink a case of beer and still drive home fine. Share a doobie before walking in the bar? Probably 8 beers and I'm feeling good. No artificial additives? It is tough. Without being able to smoke in a bar, and nothing ahead of time to take the edge off, I can drink 6-7 beers watching a football game and not feel drunk until I am home. A night out w/o drugs and I'll do 2 double Bacardi and Cokes to warm up, then do 6-8 beers.

In general, average night of drinking, 8-12 beers and I'm happy. My tolerance is way down though. Back in the old days, I wouldn't go to a party w/o a case in my trunk, and that was after splitting a 12 pk of CoorsLight pregaming.

I hope to one day be old enough to become a full time alkie.

Count Jerkula said...

How many drinks before you have to use the bathroom?

There were times I could down a 12pk w/o having to take a leak, but now I'm at like 5-6.

Kara said...

Drunk and not just a little buzzed? 6 to 8 light beers. Three micros.

Alist said...

Depends who is making the drink. What I'm drinking if I ate

KittensRUs said...

Two these days. Used to be able to outdrink guys but those days are gone.

Pip said...

Two hard lemonades, and I'm drunk. With wine, I need a few glasses. I have to be drunk to drink beer, so I have no idear. Can't stand the taste of beer.

@Count, the seal is broken after the first drink for me.

ConfirmationStation said...

Ode to Alcohol


Starkle, starkle, little twink,
Who the hell you are I think,
I'm not under what they call
The alcofluence of incohol.
I'm not drunk as thinkle peep,
I'm just a little slort of sheep.
Tee martoonis make a guy
Fool so feelish, don't know why
Rally don't know who's me yet
The drunker I stay the longer I get
So just one more to full my cup,
I've all day sober to Sunday up.

Anonymous said...

about one... im a cheap date

Harry Knuckles said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Susan said...

I'm 5'2, 110 pounds and I can outdrink any guy or gal in my circle. It's been documented at work.

When NJ lowered the blood alcohol level, I was assigned to go out to a bar with my fellow 250-pound male co-worker to drink to our hearts content and write about it. We were then chauffeured (by my now husband) to the hospital to have our shit tested. My boy was wasted; I was legally allowed to drive. Again, my chauffeur-now-husband drove my ass home and I got to sleep off my 10 vodka tonics. It was the best assignment EVER.

The only type of drink that will kill me is Jagermeister or those nasty ass shots in the same family that will surely have me praying to the porcelain god from 4 a.m. on.

Now that my 20s are long gone, I stick with wine. I drank champagne last weekend, and Sunday was rough. But the time change kicked my ass too. I'm such a bad sleeper....

Violet said...

I am sort of half horrified and half bowing down in admiration for you.

Harry Knuckles said...

Count, I'm polar opposite to you. Can't drink worth a shit, never could. First off, can't drink hard liquor to save my life. Hate the taste and my stomach goes into full revolt. Can only drink beer and red wine and Kaluha. Get a little buzzy on the first beer, by the time I've finished the 4th one I am the single most obnoxious person on the face of the Earth. My happy place is 1 or 2 beers and a little toking over the course of about 5 or 6 hours. When I step outside of that there is sometimes a Police Report full of details that I can't go into here.

Anothergrayhare said...

Based on all the hugging I did and sloppiness I demonstrated last weekend, apparently 3 glasses of wine in the hotel, 3 at the game and one more at dinner.

Beetlejuice said...

suuuure

Anna Katherine Nonymous said...

So basically you drink like a little girl?

Organize Me...Pretty said...

3, then I start telling everyone I love them!

Count Jerkula said...

@Susan: I hated that lowering of the legal limit. When I got a DUI years ago, I was .16 and driving fine. I was pulled over for a loud exhaust. .08 is way to low for anyone with a tolerance.

Way back when I was pulled out of my car numerous times for the field sobriety tests. Plenty of times I was drunk as hell, but lied and played it off fantastically.

@Harry: I hear ya on the hard liquor. If a bartender makes a mixed drink to rich to start the night, my tummy knots up and I can't drink anything but soda. After I'm already buzzed, I can do some shots, but nothing brown (Scotch, tequila, whiskey).

MISCH said...

barely one so I don't bother….

Amber said...

This is totally off point but really funny. My grievance letter to alcohol.

Dear Alcohol,

First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect gift, post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays (hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings). However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone Calls:

While I agree with you that communication is important. I question the suggestion that any conversation after 2 a.m. can have much substance or necessity. Why would you make me call my ex's? Especially when I know, for a fact, they DO NOT want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night.

2. Eating:

Now, you know I love a good meal. But, why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with wine & topped off with a Kit Kat AFTER a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater but, I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness:

Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I
see NO need to hammer this issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore:

The hangovers have GOT to stop! This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order. But, the 3 p.m. hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out (face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn or wherever). The hangover should be minimal and in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the
extra money in my pockets.

In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above and address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Friday 3 p.m. (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions. And hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,

Your Biggest Fan

P.S. Please take a moment or two and note the following items below that I think may be of some interest to you.


THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-Aggressive Disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWN RIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn 't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

AndrewBW said...

It used to take about a dozen. Now it takes about two.

auntliddy said...

Never drink because I either puke or get world class brain tumor migraine, so I guess 2 glasses will do it for me.

Gayeld said...

Mixed drinks, baby. You start out slow and build to the shots!

TeacherTeacher said...

Pre-pregnancy, a bottle + of wine or a pint of whisky. Hoping my tolerance has gone down. Guess I will find out in 6 weeks...

Gayeld said...

*holding up Margarita glass* That was beautiful.

Eros said...

3 is the magic number.

mynerva said...

I'm Irish. If you can remember how much you drank it's not a proper night out.

Mark B said...

It varies. I usually drink about 4 or 5 pints of hard cider. Most I've ever drunk is 7 double vodkas and then a pint of cider (and I felt very ill after that).

califblondy said...

Too funny, thanks for that.

califblondy said...

Damn kids ruin everything. JK

califblondy said...

I can drink beer all night, but if someone starts the Patron shots, I'm dirty dancing and giving lap dances. Luckily tequila gives me memory loss.

Bunni said...

I'm like Susan, but I'm one inch shorter. I can drink way more at home than when I'm out at a bar. The poem & letter were both hilarious. Wine gets me pretty quick & makes me love everyone.

OKay said...

Two gets me buzzing about as much as I can stand. Three and I'm drunk and sick. Weirdly, I get stoned all the time, no problem.

LTG said...

Not even one. I'm not a drinker and even a few sips of champagne gets me giggly.

NaughtyNurse said...

It really depends on your definition of drunk. Are we talking silly and clumsy, or are we talking falling down, flashing people, and puking drunk?

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