Monday, September 15, 2008

Did She Still Get A Present?


To all the guys who are reading this. Let me give you a piece of advice when it comes to engagements. Having been through about 13, with six going the distance, I know of which I speak. Now, I'm not counting the engagements where you meet some woman in a bar and around closing time she says she is saving it for her wedding night and you ask her to marry you. That doesn't count and in no way matters to what I am about to say.

Jennifer Hudson got engaged on her birthday Friday and I am incredibly happy for her. On the other hand, after the glow of Friday's engagement wore off, I'm sure she woke up Saturday morning and asked herself, "did he not buy me a present?"

See, a guy will often think he is making a good decision by proposing on a woman's birthday. Nope, not a good idea. You think she is going to be happy with just the ring. Ummm, no. See, that isn't how it works. See, if you are going to marry her, she would have got the engagement ring anyway. If you had picked last week to give it to her, she would have got a birthday gift this week. You wouldn't have said, "hey, I just spent $10,000 on you for that ring last week, so I thought I was good."

See, I bet he didn't get her anything, and she probably didn't realize it until she woke up the next day. But, I guarantee you that she started reminding him right that second. A nice poke to the ribs and asking where he put it so she could open it, and him saying "f**k, you have got to be kidding. I just spent $10,000 on her last night."

In addition, you have now forever combined her birthday with engagement. Not really a good thing. I know guys we would love if weddings, birthdays and all days we needed to remember were on just one easy day to remember. We could then get it tattooed, and just refer to it to make sure on when we need to get things done. However, for some reason, just as you would hate it if your birthday were December 24 or 25th, most women do not find it fun to have their wedding, birthday and Valentines Day/Mother's Day to be the same day. They want multiple days.

So, David Otunga, as you move forward in your engagement with Jennifer, I do hope you keep these things in mind as you schedule that wedding day.

17 comments:

Amanda said...

Well, that is reasonable. I have several family who have birthdays on Dec 24th and 26th and they always get shitty presents. Or the old combined present.

MontanaMarriott said...

I am weary of the fact she is engaged to Punk from VH1's I LOVE NY show and its only been less than a year that they know each other. I hope she is not suffering from the fat girl syndrome: "I am fat and have low self esteem so I will accept anything that comes my way"

Lisa said...

montanamarriott: OMG that's really who he is?! Run, Jennifer, RUN!

My birthday is Dec. 16 (9 days priot to Christmas) and it has sucked until the last 4 years (I"m 42). I"d even get hosed with the b/day + Christmas present combo, from my Godmother no less! I've never even been greedy. I would have been happy with a birthday card and a Christmas present. OR one and not the other. Combining them just reeks of cheapness. My poor uncle's birthday is Dec. 26th so he's got it worse.

notachance said...

I thought she had a boyfriend from "back home" or something like that?

Anyway, he will rue the day he forgot her birthday present - just ask my husband. I'm a Dec. 27th gal, and he forgot, well, you know - because it was right after Christmas and all....

Alpine Summer said...

My sister and I have the same birthday. 5 years apart. There's a little video tape of her fourth birthday where she whispers to the camera that her birthday candle wish was to get a little sister. How awesome do you think her next birthday was, spent at the hospital with me being born? Her party was canceled and not rescheduled because there was a new baby. I still feel bad, though it obviously wasn't my fault.

Look, here's a basketball hoop! It's for both of you! Happy birthday, here's a treehouse for you two! A SNES you guys can share!

Harriet Hellfire said...

*LOL @ Alpine Summer* cute story :)

not a famous adrian said...

notachance--I also had read she had the same boyfriend for 9 years. Not sure where this guy popped up from.

RagDoll said...

...although, doing this (engagement ring-as-holiday-or-birthday-gift) will turn around to bite a dude on the ass when the girl calls off the engagement (and, I mean, PUNK from "I Love New York? TWO, no less? It's never gonna make it to the altar).

Doing this exempts the ring from the State of CA's "conditional gift" laws, which means JHud gets to keep it regardless of whether the relationship bites the big one in a week.

I have long said guys who propose on Christmas/Birthday/Valentine's Day or any other "gift giving" kinda holiday are shooting themselves in the foot, should the engagement crash and burn...


But, then, I'm a big 'ol, mean 'ol cynic...

MontanaMarriott said...

She was with her boyfriend from back home Kerry for 9 years then last year or so, she dumped him, and hooked up with this reality tv star, go figure

BinkyM said...

What kind of bitch would demand a present ON TOP OF an engagement ring? Hell, what kind of bitch demands a gift for any reason, period? Gifts are gifts. Enty, it sounds as if you demanded a lot of really awful, rude women!

BinkyM said...

Ooops; I meant "Enty, it sounds as if you dated a lot of really awful, rude women!"

Quintessential Southerner said...

he is sooo gay al reynolds!!!

MissBliss said...

Someone isnt a bitch for anticipating/expecting a present from their partner on their BIRTHDAY, Binkym. Sheesh!

BinkyM said...

@MissBliss: A birthday present in addition to an engagement ring seems absurd. Having just been given an engagement ring, it seems silly for him to then say, "Oh, and I got you this scarf, too." She oughtta be too busy crying happy tears, showing off her ring to people, calling relatives, imagining a honeymoon, and so on to be bothering with a birthday present, for crying out loud, and not wondering where a birthday present is!

Bad Momma said...

OMG, I HAD to click on all your links. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry (I LMAO).
I'm guessing that this is where you buy all your jewelry. I also will bet your 6 marriages lasted as long as it took the jewels to be appraised!
Enty, if there is any doubt, you are one classy guy!!!! :p

DetroitRocker said...

My husband and I have been together since 1977. Two years into our relationship I showed him this beautiful expensive ring.

What I got was a ring with 2 beautiful diamonds for the 2 years we were together. He told me that if he bought me that huge ring, I could leave him tomorrow and he'd still be paying on that thing. Joking he said I would have to work for it.

Well every July 4th, the day we met and married, I have received a new diamond added to that ring. He has had to have it redesigned twice. I now have a beautiful diamond ring with 31 dazzling diamonds on it.

My husband jokes that I stay with him just so I can get another diamond added to that ring, and I tell him I make it easy for him to figure out what to get me on our anniversary every year.

jlb said...

I had an anniversary ring when I was married that my ex added a new diamond to every year - one year he actually found a beautiful emerald (my birthstone) to add. Now I'll make the stones into earrings for each of the girls when they graduate.

I'd say guys who propose on occasions are dumb asses because as someone stated earlier, the ring is now a gift and not part of a contract - the chick gets to keep it even if she doesn't marry him.

My youngest daughter is a December 4th baby - hard as hell to think of a present for her birthday as well as Christmas & I refuse to short change her.