Thursday, September 18, 2008

Lainey Blind Item

How does he roll?

Private plane on someone else’s dime with specific requests about the type of aircraft…like it’s not enough to bypass commercial flying, you need to fly in a particular model. But that’s just the beginning.

He can only travel in matching (like MATCHING!) SUVs with police escort. Three of them. One left empty. And then a sedan. Why the sedan? Because his lower level staff are not allowed to ride in SUVs. They are beneath SUVs. His staff must also stay in a hotel separate from his.

Then there’s eye contact. No eye contact under any circumstances. If his driver happens to have to idle for more than 15 seconds with him in the car – say they’re packing up gear, or waiting for a delivery – the driver must exit the vehicle until the fleet is ready to move.

Speaking to him of course is out of the question. Speaking in his vicinity is even worse. The only voice he wants to hear is his own. You can talk…but only when he gives you permission. There’s actually a hand signal for that. It comes from his manager.

Hotel staff learn this lesson quickly. Imagine asking someone if he wants fresh towels and have him stare back at you, behind sunglasses, not answering, the silence filling up the room like a flood, how small that person must feel, that person who works and busts her ass for minimum wage, not even to be acknowledged, to feel the message from a millionaire that she is not worth engaging? Not even a nod?

If he walks past you in the hall, you must turn your back. If you don’t turn your back he’ll stop walking. His team will stand in a wall around him for fear that you might breathe on him. Worse still, they will harass you. They will intimidate you. They will treat you like a criminal and report you to make sure you are punished.

All of this and more, communicated without shame, without embarrassment, executed as though it’s the most natural way to behave … these are His Rules.

99 comments:

Katie said...

diddy?

Katie said...

just bc it came out that his private jet wasnt actually his and he has no class so i can imagine him acting like a total douche

Zeke said...

it all sounds a little like Diddy to me, too.

Cheryl said...

Dis shizz gots ta be Diddy.

jaclyn said...

Kanye

Norah said...

tch..diddy was better than my guess of karl lagerfeld.
it makes more sense.

Karyn said...

sounds like Prince to me...he had similiar behavior on the set of Purple Rain, if I remember correctly.

Mooshki said...

"The only voice he wants to hear is his own. You can talk…but only when he gives you permission."

That sure sounds like Diddly.

West End Girl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
West End Girl said...

It must be Diddy although I don't see why it's gotta be in a BI?

jlb said...

JayZ

unicorn jones said...

actually I think karl lagerfield is a great choice. him or elton john.


-ujones

Ace Tomato said...

Prince sounds like a great guess. I know it sounds like Diddy be/c he is an ass and his plane info was recently news, but I can't imagine anyone indulging Diddy. Prince? Yeah. People would do this for Prince. Prince is a freaky genius.

If it is Diddy, how do they keep from snickering?

X said...

Hi Guys, long time reader, first time poster.

This sounds like Sylvester Stallone. I know people who have worked with him and you're not allowed to look him in the eye or talk to him unless he gives you permission. Even more than not making eye contact, he prefers you to lower your head when passing him. The guy is a total dick.

Katie said...

I had no idea that SUVs were manufactured exclusively for socially and intellectually superior people like
Seanpuffdaddydiddycombs.

However, it's inspiring to hear that he's doing his part for environmental responsibility, with the fleet of empty decoy and middle management vehicles. I'm sure they must all have manual transmissions, as those are gas-savers.

Molly said...

sean p-diddy puff puff daddy puffy whatever the fuck he's calling himself now combs.

Molly said...

i don't think prince and sylvester stallone are known for constantly wearing sunglasses even in their sleep, tho.

donna said...

it sounds like the commercial for ddos equis beer that plays here in philly .. he is The most interesting man on the planet ..

quite possibly is sly .. he is from philly and if you heard the cadence of the commercial it fits perfectly with the way this is written ..

not a famous adrian said...

Whoever it is has a "team"--sounds more like a rapper than actor.
But why should this even be blind. The ass obviously isn't hiding his parade of SUVs & team members.

white lorelei said...

Well, I totally thought of Prince all the way through this. Diddy spends an awful lot of time clubbing, and he's got his own plane.

Lainey's really good about not letting on whether this is an actor, singer, or what.

Prince is notorious for doing it his way or no way .... when he tours, he sometimes shows up and does surprise shows afterwards, but if they're planned, it's expected that he'll be up to 2 hours late with no explanation or apology. He often starts his concerts really late ... again, without even acknowledging the audience's patience (and/or desire not to just blow the $100 they spent on the tickets by leaving).

There's something about the way she capitalized "His Rules" that's ringing bells with me, but I can't quite put my finger on it ... but I even thought THAT was Prince-y for some reason.

A Pimp Named DaveR said...

I totally thought "Prince", too.

Brilliant musician; odd, odd man.

SchmaddaKid said...

michael jackson

JoAnn said...

My only thoughts were Michael Jackson or Prince while I read the whole thing....

And then at the end, I felt Prince due to His Rules.

jennypenny said...

This is Karl Lagerfeld-he was recently quoted as saying he only flies a G4, never a G3

Lori said...

Totally The Kaiser.

califblondy said...

The Musicology concert was the best thing I've ever seen. So great I saw it in two different cities.

Prince does wear sunglasses at night, but we haven't heard or seen him much lately. I hope it's not him, but...

I guess it could be any of the good guesses we have here.

thom said...

Bill Clinton

DNfromMN said...

lorelai - Prince may start his shows late but he'll always play for over two hours.

Honestly I was thinking Tom Cruise for this, but Diddy works, too.

twitch said...

Why the hell would anyone be willing to put up with all that nonsense, just for someone like Karl Lagerfeld? I mean, I wouldn't know that guy from Adam! I think it is Kanye West - he is the biggest horse's ass I can think of, and Diddy's been around for years - weird that this would come out abou him NOW, when he is not exactly the hottest thing going. Kanye THINKS he is the hottest thing going.
I am usually a nice, quiet, non-confrontational person, but when I hear things like this, I long to be the first person to refuse to lower my eyes, or step out of the elevator, or turn my back to him, or whatever other ridiculous sh*t these idiot celebrities try to pull!

irishstayc2 said...

Well I immediately though Piddilydiddypuffycomb but then saw the karl Lagerfeld stuff and well... I jumped off my own bandwagon. ...I think. Does Karl have a manager??? I really think it's staypufdiddywop... Enty would have thrown a purple or king or raspberry beret hint in there somewhere if it was Prince.

irishstayc2 said...

Crap - just realized it's Lainey NOT enty's blind... hmmmm

and Donna - I can't get the commercial out of my head now - Love that stupid thing... isn't that Antonio Banderas doing the voice ? The most Interesting Man

Mooshki said...

I don't think it's Prince - he's strange, but not in this way. I think he's pretty cool with his entourage most of the time. BTW, I went to high school with his half-brother, and he was completely normal, and very nice. :)

Kraymond19 said...

PRINCE

ms snarky said...

Puff Twitty.

Chole said...

Soon to be former Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick? J/k! Diddy is my guess too, but seems too obvious.

ms snarky said...

@chole -
even though the obvious answer seems too easy, it's obvious for a reason. How often have you seen Puff Twit arrive in three identical SUVs? Every photo ever taken of him, you say? Ah, yes.

OT - Burn Notice premiere tonight!! Hot!

Bonnie Blue said...

I want to jump on the Michael Jackson wagon. My mom's bf sold him some dogs (yeah, call PETA). Anyway...the dogs had to be brought to his hotel and no one was allowed to look at him and no one could be in the same room with him. There was a lot of "procedure." This blind sounded like very similar behavior to me. Just my 2 cents. Carry on. ;)

Grace said...

Could be all of the above, but I just smell a Piddilydiddypuffycomb.

I remember seeing pics of his "man servant" holding an umbrella over him.

Piddilydiddypuffycomb really likes the old school way of servants and protocol.

ooh no said...

It has to be Tom Cruise. The sun glasses and his team (of scientalists) are huge clues. Can't he just go away !

brendalove@gmail.com said...

I think its Prince. The Musicology was very awesome, though

linoge1 said...

I go with Ooh No on this one.
This reads Tom Cruise all over.
I remember an article about a year ago where it mentioned that nobody is allowed to look TC in the eye, something to do with him being shorter then the rest or something.

To me it reads TC all over.And I am not even surprised or shocked either.

bionic bunny! said...

i go with diddlydump.
i don't think kanye has enough people to pull this off, and i think MJ might like to, not sure he could while hauling the kids around.
i remember kevin smith's story of trying to do some kind of documentary with prince (and i am not a fan of prince), and while the dude was weird, he wasn't a total ass. and isn't he a jehovah's witness or something?

califblondy said...

Yes, he's a Jehovah witness.
Even though he supposedly has killer parties at his house after award shows.

I still say it isn't him.

RagDoll said...

Sunglasses = clue.

Risky Business and the famous Wayfarers?

Tom Cruise

Amber said...

Yep x, Sylvester doesn't allow eye contact. Maybe I've said this before here, but worked as an extra with him in the movie Driven (lol, I know) and everyone was told that if they made eye contact with him, they'd be fired.

Amber said...

Yep x, Sylvester doesn't allow eye contact. Maybe I've said this before here, but worked as an extra with him in the movie Driven (lol, I know) and everyone was told that if they made eye contact with him, they'd be fired.

Ernestine said...

I'm glad that other people thought of Tom Cruise, too, because while I think Diddleoodly IS a total and complete douchenozzle, this blind reeked more of something more sinister and Scientology-related.

I dunno. I saw Tom through the WHOLE thing. He was my first instinctive guess.

littleoleme said...

Yeah, I saw Tom Cruise all over this too.

Ayesha said...

I was thinking Diddy or some rapper. The whole thing with the matching SUVs made me think that.

Well, whoever it is can suck my weenie.

Ariel said...

How about an athlete? Football or Basketball?

twitch said...

Well, you guys are starting to convince me with the Tom Cruise guesses.

Who knew there were so many douchebags to choose from?

Mooshki said...

"I was thinking Diddy or some rapper. The whole thing with the matching SUVs made me think that."

Good point - I only remember seeing Tom drive around in luxury sedans.

BinkyM said...

I'm with Twitch: I want to be in the same room with this jackass just so I can look in his eyes (a LOT), get in his way, sneeze and cough on him, step on his foot, speak to him (LOUDLY), make rude hand gestures, touch his belongings with my grubby hands, and do anything else I can to freak him the fuck out.

I don't believe it's Puff Daddy because of the recent video he did for everyone showing us how he flies economy thus saving $220,000/month is gas for his private jet, all the while talking and waving to fans who walked by while he made the video. That's not the psychopath described in this blind.

"His Rules" would seem to be pointing us toward someone with a royal-ish name, nickname, position, etc, or perhaps someone who played such in a movie or TV show.

Here we go! Kevin James! He starred in "The King of Queens"! ;-)

Little Blue Pill said...

FYI Amber and evryone else: extras and general crew being forbidden to have eye contact with actors on set is normal procedure.

shoe addict said...

I believe its Diddy for obvious reasons.
Let me also say that the don't look him in the eye b.s has been in a lot of blind items with guesses like Justin, Janet, alan jackson and so on so i believe thats almost a hollywood norm.
Its not Kanye, i grew up with him and still travel with him and his entourage aka his friends we grew up with. The whole spoiled brat thing is more for publicity and he does not carry that behavior on regular people.
That being said every google image pic of diddy would have sunglasses
and he was just in the news about the private jet.
I think the "His rules" part was sarcastic like Lainey saying "How dare he" who the fuck does he think he is....thus inciting her to write the the blind.
If this were Prince everyone would just nod their head like...uh huh, ok...its Prince, whats the big deal??

redgurl72 said...

'HIS RULES' makes me think that he has a wife? I think that's the big clue there anyway.

Someone elses plane could fit Tom (scientology owned) or M.Jackson - he has that Saudi Prince paying for everything.
Can't imagine Diddy or Karl would be able to get a police escort. Has to be a really big star that attracts a crowd for that doesn't it?

shoe addict said...

Also diddy has been traveling in matching SUV's since the JLO days.
He never drives. he's always in the passenger side hangin out of the side of an SUV.....with sunglasses and a toothpick in his mouth.

She wanted us to know it was him thats why she handed it to us on a platter with the private jet clue.

twister said...

it's stallone. this has been known about him for years.

MissBliss said...

I find it absolutely laughable that so many people would ndulge this kind of behaviour. Doesn't anyone have the balls to say 'no' to a celebrity these days? If someone told me that I wasnt worthy enough to make eye contact with my employer I would laugh all the way to the employment agency to look for another job. Celebrities dont even pay that much. What incentive is there to put up with that sort of crap??

They behave this way because they are continuously allowed to get away with it, and its pretty disgusting.

Beth said...

Kanye was the first to come to mind, he's always wearing those sunglasses and thinks the world revolves around him.

Could be Diddy too but like someone else said, he's been around long enough that you'd think this behavior would have been leaked by now.

shoe addict said...

The problem is that this fits the majority of Hollywood. if this were stallone who would care??? Who born after 1980 would know who he is...he's more than sixty. If i were subject to this behavior by him, I would laugh in his face.
he can't make demands like that anymore. he's beyond not relevant.
I don't think lainey would even find him blind worthy. Stallone.....what a gas
sorry to poo on your guess

Mooshki said...

Miss Bliss, I agree 100%.

BinkyM said...

@shoe addict: Funny you should mention Stallone and poo in the same post; it's been a few decades now that Stallone's been rumored to be a coprophiliac. It's even rumored that he has (had?) a plexiglass canopy over his bed so that he can watch his partners, uh, poo over him.

Is this too much info? It was a lot more funny when he was young; now that he's a creepy old man, it's way grosser, isn't it?

trogdor said...

HAHAHAH! Man...

I wish I could act like this. That would be sooo cool! I wonder how this guy picks up chicks?! Could you imagine?!?!

I wonder what would happen if he took his jet to a carwash in LA?

LOL!

Anyway I think it's Prince. Diddy made a big deal about having to now fly coach. The way she worded this, I think Lainey is implying the person is still flying by private jet. Diddy did not own his jet, but the company he leased it from always gave him the same jet. Sounds like this person gets to choose based on whomever is paying for it.

And the biggest clue:
In the english language, the only time His or Him is capitalized, is when referring to god (usually the christian version) or a King (usually the British versions.)

King, prince, prince, King..eh, same thing!

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

My first thought was Cruise.

junglekitten said...

Diddy-ass, owns his own jet. Remember his rant about flying commercial because fuel for HIS was so outrageous? Tommy Girl is always signing autographs for fans, and that's only because it's in most of his contracts. Remember him getting all hissy because Brangelina never have to interact w/ their fans yet still earn more than him? I like the Prince guess but The Michael Jackson guess kinda fits considering the fact that it's a BORROWED plane!!!

junglekitten said...

Oh, and Kanye, believe it or not is awesome to his fans!! He was really polite and funny the few times I've met him!!

Katja said...

Marc Anthony?

trogdor said...

I dug up the article by a reporter form the Palm Beach Post dated Sept. 5th 2008.

You can clearly see Diddy doesn't own his own jet. Diddy's rich, but not stupid rich. A lot of his money is tied up in his different ventures.

Btw, this is really cool, but if you're at the airport and you can see the airplane's tag numbers you are about to fly, you are legally allowed to look up it's history through several online databases!



http://www.palmbeachpost.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/palmbeach/jose/entries/2008/09/08/air_diddys_just_a_puff_of_hot.html

junglekitten said...

Nice work trogdor!! I'm going w/ him or Michael Jackson!!!! DIDDY IS A LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Writer said...

I don't see it being someone like Diddy or Kanye because their pack mentality behavior is well-known, and they're big stars, so I doubt people would even need to ASK if they needed fresh towels. I think it could be someone less well-known or on the radar lately ... what about someone like 50 Cent or even Snoop Dogg?

not on my dollar said...

Diddy does not own his on jet. He admitted it recently on his video blog.

I believe Tom Cruise owns a jet so it isn't him either.

My money is on Diddy.

P.S. Leave Kanye alone. I don't think it's him and even if it was I will defend him till the end. I absolutely love all of his music and am probably the only person in the world who understands him.

annie said...

His Rules (capital H) could be a reference to royalty - Prince. Or Kanye, didn't he liken himself to Jesus on a cover of a magazine awhile ago?

MissBliss said...

*LOL* The shit that Kanye gets, he brings on himself. IMO, musically, he has moments of genius (see: Jesus Walks, The Glory) and moments of absolutely crap. But his attitude, generally, stinks. Maybe someone should buy him 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' because he doesnt come across as very humble or friendly :/

That said, I dont think this BI is about him. My first thought was Tommy but it could very well be Diddy. The reason why i choose Tommy over Diddy is because there would be plenty of opportunity for 'others' to pay for his private jet usage. Movies in production and being promoted, as well as CoS events etc.

laxingnewyorkcity said...

Hey - so I havent read all the posts, but here is what i think.

Michael Jackson. His Rules, sounds very similar to HiStory, that album. Also, read that His Rules, reminds a reader of something royal, ie. the King of Pop. And finally, borrowed money. We all know he is major debt and living off someone else; last I checked, a Bahrainian.

Diddy seems the obvious choice with the recent private jet vblog thing, but I think it might be Michael.

itsnotabear said...

tom cruise was the first person i thought of. i once watched a VH1 special that said he rented out like 2 or 3 floors of a hotel for his entourage. sounds like something his crazy ass would do.

Bonnie Blue said...

I hope I don't get jumped for this one but...I met Diddy a few times during the JLo days. Kim Porter lived upstairs from me and he used to come to visit. I was introduced to him by my concierge. We were talking for a while and he said hi every time I saw him after that. At the time he was unassuming (despite being dressed head to toe in bright yellow) and a nice guy. I know he's not unassuming of late but I don't buy this BI as being him.

fester said...

I can't see this being Sly Stallone. . .Lainey's BIs are usually about someone she's blogged about recently. Or ever.

As for Michael J. . . this would count as relatively normal behaviour for him, no?

Doesn't sound like Tom C either, since this person doesn't seem to travel with a robot family.

This is most likely the obvious choice, Combs. Lainey disdains him AND he was recently in Toronto performing at Lainey's employer's function:
http://www.laineygossip.com/Diddy_and_Samantha_Ronson_confirmed_to_perform_at_eTalk_Festival_Party_during_TIFF.aspx

Susan said...

Tony Danza?

Beth said...

Diddy was my first thought, but he has made such a to-do about the plane, I don't think it is him.

The fact that he is using someone else's plane, to me, indicates that his finances are such that he cannot afford his own plane. Does someone like Lagerfeld have enough cash to afford his own plane?

I like the Lagerfeld guess because, well, he seems crazy. The sunglasses. The apparent preference for G4s. Also, he carries that fan around because he doesn't like people to breathe on him; it's a way to create distance between himself and the public.

Would Stallone still be in a position to pull this kind of shit?

As much as I think Tom Cruise is controlling and brainwashed, I don't think this is him. I imagine he has his own plane -- or one owned by the Church os Scientology -- and he doesn't seem this assholey.

Beth said...

Diddy was my first thought, but he has made such a to-do about the plane, I don't think it is him.

The fact that he is using someone else's plane, to me, indicates that his finances are such that he cannot afford his own plane. Does someone like Lagerfeld have enough cash to afford his own plane?

I like the Lagerfeld guess because, well, he seems crazy. The sunglasses. The apparent preference for G4s. Also, he carries that fan around because he doesn't like people to breathe on him; it's a way to create distance between himself and the public.

Would Stallone still be in a position to pull this kind of shit?

As much as I think Tom Cruise is controlling and brainwashed, I don't think this is him. I imagine he has his own plane -- or one owned by the Church os Scientology -- and he doesn't seem this assholey.

Molly said...

the line about that's the way he rolls or something is a clue. it's not sylvester or tc and i doubt it's mj. it's a rapper - either kanye or diddy and i think the majority went with diddy.

Moonmaid said...

What's so ironic about all the people mentioned is that they all came from fairly humble circumstances - none were born rich. They are imitating what they think rich people should act like. People from old money are just so much less pretentious than this. What a joke.

Jewels said...

"Seanpuffdaddydiddycombs"
sean p-diddy puff puff daddy puffy "whatever the fuck he's calling himself now combs"
"Piddilydiddypuffycomb"
"Puff Twitty"
"diddlydump"
"Diddleoodly"
"Diddy-ass"


You guys all fuckin' crack me up! I swear, I've been sitting here reading every comment (yup! too much time on my hands I guess... Just waiting for the laundry to dry...), laughing my arse off!

Thank you! I needed that!

On a side note, back in the mid '90s, a friend of mine was an extra in Prince's video (can't remember now if it was "Cream" or "Diamonds & Pearls", anyhoo...) So, work's done, and he let her know that he would like to fuck her (his exact words!), so she did. And was duly disappointed due to the fact that his equipment was the size of a peanut... Her words! LOL!

Mooshki said...

Jewels, that isn't surprising, since he's 3 feet tall with bird bones. :)

IAnikki said...

i would guess it as JayZ

lyz said...

Isn't Cruise called "the little dictator"?...rules...

Molly said...

jewels, he was hung like a poodle?? so sad!

dealinlacity said...

it is tom cruise. i know a service guy that went over to his house. when tom entered the room, the whole staff and him had to duck behind a couch. he said it was the most bizarre situation. no one can look at him or even be in his presence.

X said...

Not sure if anyone mentioned it yet but Lainey excluded Prince from this. And I officially have too much time on my hands.

Jewels said...

"... bird bones...", "...hung like a poodle..."

*snicker*
Lmao!

Lisa said...

I think responding to the hand signal with a hand signal would only be appropriate, no? Hand signal / finger gesture.... symantics. ;)

Famie Joxx said...

I heard from someone on Dr. Phil's staff that he behaves like this and worse. He also owns a jet-- but possibly "makes someone else pay for it," i.e. writes it off.

Famie Joxx said...

I heard from someone on Dr. Phil's staff that he behaves like this and worse. He also owns a jet-- but possibly "makes someone else pay for it," i.e. writes it off.

Mooshki said...

"...i know a service guy that went over to his house. when tom entered the room, the whole staff and him had to duck behind a couch."

Holy crap, that's bad! What an ass!

shakey said...

Someone on the facebook group for Lainey guessed Bono. Flood is a U2 producer, he's very religious. I'm wondering if there are a lot of lyrical clues in this BI.

But if we could make this fit Tony Danza ...

I wonder what kind of gear Tony needs.

joshcreary said...

denzel washington

know an actor who worked with him, said he was an ass. No one was allowed to look at him or talk to him etc. Definately fits with everything i've heard about him...

MissBliss said...

Ok, so Lainey has said that it is NOT Prince, Tom Cruise, Justin Timberlake or Mike Meyers. She hasnt said that it isnt Diddy though. Hmmm.

Miriam said...

She also said it's no Snoop Dogg