Friday, February 12, 2010

Ted C Blind Item

Oh, Roxy Couture! Don't you know a cheating, horny, impossibly sexy tiger can't change its stripes?

Sorry all, how rude of us not to properly introduce you to today's BV first! Meet Roxy—a gorg gal who likes everything in life to be of the highest and utmost class. Mainly when it comes to men.

Perky yet shy, vampy yet motherly, Roxy appears as if she's got the perfect life: cute kids, successful career, A-list friends, and the most hunky husband, to boot.

Only problem is, that hubby o' hers has eyes for everyone but her. Don't you remember? As you've already met him. Remember...

Stud-Bucket LeBeouf? The insanely doable womanizer who likes to whip out confidentiality agreements whenever he steps out on that pixie-perfect wife of his?

Sure, that's pretty standard in this sleazy town, but remember...Stud literally carries around these typed babies everywhere he goes. Yes—LeBeouf gets that much action on the side.

We were always unsure whether or not Rox knew what her man was up to whenever he left her (and the kids) at home. We assumed she just turned a blind eye, like so many of these H'wood women do, but as of late, friends to both Roxy and Stud who know about S-B.L.'s extracurricular activities cannot stop talking about "poor" Ms. Couture because she truly is that clueless!

See, R.C. has been recently offering up advice to select members of the Cheated-On Wives Club in Hollywood. She furrows her plucked brow and likes to sit down for a heart-to-heart about exactly what to do when husbands go looking for those much sluttier, younger girls.

And the advice isn't to call your lawyer, in case you're wondering, it's to stay put and stick it out. Roxy uses her husband as an example of reformed redemption, which is preposterous, as the dog's still stepping out on Roxy left and right, unbeknownst to her.

All these babes who Roxy's preaching to want so badly to tell her to look at her own sham-filled marriage, but they can't. No one has enough guts to shatter Couture's whole world! Because, trust, if she knew the kinds of moves Stud-Bucket was putting on all of L.A. (and beyond), she would surely die of humiliation.

Ah, love really is blind, eh? Or demented, take your pick.

But Happy Valentine's Day, anyway, everybody!

And it Ain't: Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie, Felicity Huffman

60 comments:

NovaNightly said...

Victoria Beckham

Kimstyle said...

Easiest one in a while. Victoria beckham. Poor Vicky :(

jess said...

Posh FTW!!!

JerseyGirl said...
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JerseyGirl said...

Tea Leoni

JerseyGirl said...

although i think I like the Posh guess better

kday said...

Kelly Ripa?

RocketQueen said...

Posh for sure. Stud-Bucket was widely agreed to be Becks.

Ladytron2000 said...

Gavin and gLen?

Megley said...

I'll go with the Becks, too. I just can't feel sorry for Vicky, tho'--once a piece of s$(&, always a piece of s)+!.

Anonymous said...

Posh.

tallulah b said...

I agree with the above guessed Posh. This fits her to a T. Poor thing.

parissucksliterally said...

Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber?

Unknown said...

Diane Lane?

AuthorEdA said...

I like the Tea Leoni guess but it its probably Posh

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

agree with cindy crawford and rande gerber - who has personally scouted all of his employees - and was sued for sexual harassment.

Here´s Cindy´s advice on cheating

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i59709

mooshki said...

I agree it's Posh, but I was hoping to make it fit for GOOPY.

Ellen said...

Could see this being either Becks & Posh or Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber, but Dschigis makes some excellent points for it being Cindy and Rande. So sad that someone so beautiful could have a cheater for a husband.

Scando Queen said...

I completely agree with Posh and Becks because remember the whole assistant debacle... It seem to have been swept under the rug!!! Hopefully he is a better parent than he is a husband!!!!

Megley said...

The original blind says that SB is mediocre-talented in his nonthespian career--how does this apply to Gerber?
Not being snarky--just askin'.

Unknown said...

@Megley: Beckham is way more talented at his game than Gerber in opening profitable restaurants and clubs. Plus Beckham has a good run in advertising, bigger than his soccer career.

TinselSass said...
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BTownGirl said...

I agree with the Posh guess - she was recently reported to be giving advice to another FBW with a cheating husband!

Unknown said...

@TinselSass:

the spoof was just the first result, google it and it is on many more non spoof sources
:-)

Alice D Millionaire said...

I was totally getting a Jennifer Garner vibe from this one. V-Day, furrowed brow, that advice she gave to Jessica Biel, cute kids, "reformed" husband.

But I don't think it is her because I don't think Garner truly believes Ben is reformed...same goes for Posh.

Alice D Millionaire said...

Oh and that her husband is a non-thesp. Sorry didn't read the original blind and just re-read that comment above.

Derreck said...

i hope not Posh. i'm one of the few people who actually like her and i thought that her and Becks were secure.

Derreck said...

"highest and utmost class" and couture?

very Posh like to me.

Goodgrief said...

I think it is Posh. Sounds just like them. I don't think they would divorce over it tho, unless it took on a life of its own like Tiger's and totally humiliated her.

Missjenny619 said...

I'm leaning towards Gwen & Gavin. He cheated on her years ago with that drummer from The Corrs. She hung in there and they got married and had kids of their own.

They always look picture-perfect when photographed together and the "Couture" part could refer to her own clothing line.

Her hubby's a non-thespian (singer).

It makes me sad, but I think it is definitely them.

=(

KMG852 said...

Missjenny619 - you can rest assured it is not Gwen and Gavin - Gavin was notted in the first blind about Stud-Bucket LeBeouf.

Audrey said...

Wow everyone, good guesses! I don't have another guess to add, but the Posh, Cindy and Gwen guesses are good. So let me throw this out. The "And It Ain'ts" are usually a clue. Do we see any hints in Katie, Angelina and Felicity?

Keli Jackson said...

This could NOT be more obvious - Jennifer Garner.

Keli Jackson said...

Also on the Garner tip - remember the movie Jennifer and Ben did together? Ben was the blind superhero. I have blocked the title of that shiteous movie from my brain, but this is SOOOOOO obviously Jennifer Garner. She is in the Valentine's Day movie, the reference to kids (plural), the so-called reformed husband, the conquests outside of LA (Boston, anyone?) - it all fits. Plus, Jennifer just did that stupid Parade interview where she awkwardly revealed just how boring their romantic life is.

Audrey said...

Ok - I think I'm leaning towards Posh. I found this webpage:
http://www.blinditemsexposed.com/2008/10/one-fine-print-prick-blind-vice.html

textkitten said...

I agree - this says Jennifer Garner to me, though she seems more scruffy than polished. Does Posh really even have a career? Man...it could be either, I guess, but all the 'it-ain'ts' are involved with actors.

M. said...

While there are some similarities to Jennifer Garner, I don't think she would be described as "pixie" while one would of Victoria. Beside, one rarely sees her (Posh)out in public not dressed to the nines in couture (and she has her own high-end line now, too), while Garner prefers it casual and has admitted more often than not in interviews that she has no fashion sense. Additionally, I see more women thowing themselves at David Beckham and him enjoying the selection available to him than Ben.

Does anyone remember the gossip from a few years back about Becks having an affair with the nanny or something like that?

I think the Ain'ts refer to the chain of who knows whom by association: Posh and Becks are friends with Tom and Katie, who is friends with Angelina and Brad...though I don't see the William H. Macy connection (Felicity's husband).

Angie said...
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Angie said...

Not Cindy...she's not what I would consider pixie or couture. "shy, vampy, yet motherly".....Posh all the way. She isn't going anywhere....I hate to say it, but money can blind you to indiscretions.

sunnyside1213 said...

Couture and Pixie sealed if for me. Posh and Beck. He is a hunk. Randy. No way.

For those of you guessing Ben, he is a thespian.

Sis Cesspool said...

http://www.imnotobsessed.com/2010/02/12/jennifer-garners-relationship-advice-to-jessica-biel

Ms Cool said...

My first thoughts were Posh. Sad.

Missjenny619 said...

@KMG852 - Phew!! Thanks! I love Gwen, she seems like a genuine person and a great mom. I would hate for Gavin to cheat on her!

Ms Cool said...

Ted refers to her as Ms. Couture which would make me lean towards Posh or even Gwen Stefani over Jennifer Garner.

Jaiden_S said...

It can't be Jen Garner, because Ben Affleck was notted as Stud-Bucket LeBouf. This seems to be Becks/Posh.

Unknown said...

Posh sounds like he answer except that I can't see Beckham ever considered "mediocre-talented."

Ms. Ramona Narrow said...

I agree with Kim - isn't Beckham supposed to be one of the best players in the world? Also, Roxy supposedly has a great career - what career does Posh have? I know she "designs", but is she succesful? I vote Gwen and Gavin. Bush was a middling, mediocre band. Gwen was open in the past (before they got married) about him cheating on her and everyone knows he likes the trannies. Plus, enty makes two comments in the photo section today about Gavin having sex with Marilyn (British transvestite) and Gwen looking like her.

Dead Angel said...

Can anyone explain why TC has a job at E!? I can't even stand to read his word salad blind items. Plus most of them are made up which is why he never reveals - even Lainey comes up with some real BI's once in a while.

He's the worst.

jess said...

@Ms. Ramona Narrow Beckman is not one of the best players fo the world, not even close...He was really good when He was in Manchester but when he went to Real Madrid, it was all publicity ads and football was left behind. He's trying to be one of the best again with AC Milan

MadLyb said...
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MadLyb said...

It's definitely Posh and Becks. She has an elfin face and is classy (I guess). Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise and Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt are the top tier of power couples, and so are Posh and Becks. Felicity Huffman is a Desperate Housewife. Makes sense to me!

ThoughtElf said...

Heidi Klum & Seal.

jen said...

Yeah Becks is a good footballer but nowhere near one of the best. I'd say he's more than mediocre, but not much. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like to band him like a screen door in a wind storm, because I sure as hell would...let's get that clear...LOL

And I like Posh, too. I adore her. But I agree that she isn't going anywhere - she's bigger & more famous WITH David than without. Shame. :(

awesome balla. said...

Def affleck and Garner. The description of her was spot on.

Char said...

If this is Posh and Becks, then I'd like to volunteer myself as one of his conquests.

Faith_No_More said...

Check this :
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2852465/Victoria-Beckham-consoled-Cheryl-Cole-after-explicit-photos-of-Ashley-ended-up-on-a-topless-models-mobile.html
FTW!!!!!

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

of all the women guessed, I think the word "pixie" only applies to Posh. It's so them. And Beckham is considered a mediocre soccer player.

Boricua in Texas said...

Roxy Couture makes me think of Gwen Stefani.

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