Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Today's Blind Items - Redhead Sparrow???

Is it the greatest practical joke of all time? Wow, that is tough, because we don't know every practical joke that has ever existed. Out of the ones I am aware of, this is right up there and is also a little sad, which also seems to happen when a joke is particularly good. So, apparently there is this guy who is married and was playing poker one night and got a little buzzed. Who slides up next to him, but this former almost A- list mostly movie actress who basically asks if he wants some company. One thing leads to another and they have sex. Apparently during the night, our actress Googled the guy and finds out how much he is worth and decides she wants some of those hundreds of millions, wife be damned. So, she starts putting on the full court press and calls his office and cell and shows up in places where he is. He wants her out of his life. He talks to some friends and passes out some money and decides this will be fun. She wants to meet him in Belgium where she is about to start filming. He agrees, which must have probably shocked her. When they do meet, he is looking over his shoulder, and acting as if he is being followed. He passes her a room key and tells her to meet him. She shows up and explains to her that he is trying to acquire another company and needs permission of the EU for the merger/acquisition to take place. At least two other companies are trying to close the deal, and are following him to see who he talks to. He is trying to get members of the appropriate committee on his side, but the woman he had set up to "meet" with them had bailed. Does our actress known anyone who could help. Our actress, seeing this as a chance to use her wiles and accents says she will take on the task and with the help of the businessman goes about seducing or attempting to seduce members of this EU governing body to try and get the sale approved and her boyfriend might dump the wife and marry our actress. The guys our business person hired pretend to tail the actress and make her feel like she is living in a spy movie. The actress is skipping filming just to find these men and sleep with them. Finally, after the fourth or fifth guy, she asks one about the merger and the guy has no idea what she is talking about. So, she goes back to two others and they have no idea what she is talking about either. She realizes she has been had. The thing is though, to this day she will tell you she was a spy.

60 comments:

Tricia13 said...

Lindsey

Tricia13 said...

Oh Lilo-you should’ve stuck to car movies—-Herbie Reloaded 12. At least you wouldn’t be selling your body

Caitlin Patla said...

omg tricia! good guess! this is juicy.

MDAnderson said...

This blind had me laughing. Like seriously Lilo

Tricia13 said...

Thanks Caitlin!

sandybrook said...

Hehe..or possibly Diane Kruger when filming Mr. Nobody but most likely dumbass Lindsay.

Notagoodscreenname said...

Assholes and Idiots, all of them.

MDAnderson said...

+1 Tricia. New movie Among the shadows was filmed in Belgium. Can’t wait to see itπŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

notthisagain said...

OH LINDSAY

Tricia13 said...

I’m pretty sure it happened which makes it Hi-lilo-larious

Moose said...

Was Lilo filming anything in Belguim, however - that seems to be the clue.

Some Recent Belgian movies:
Miss Peregrene's Home...
The Girl With the A Pearl Earring
Muse


One time A- - Joanna Whalley?

sandybrook said...

Shit this is recent?? Bwahahaha she better stick to trying to trafficking Eastern European kids then. Does a great job doing that too.

astra worthington said...

HAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK!?

Good lord maybe she needs an adult minder because how dumb does a person have to be to fall for this?

kiki71 said...

using her accents solidified this as Lilo to me. So sad.

MDAnderson said...

Using her wiles and accents??? Lilo needs serious help.

Brayson87 said...

We get it, everyone knows that LiLo is not the smartest of whores, but she's not alone. It would be more interesting and fun if it was someone else. Who else could fit?

"former almost A- list mostly movie actress"

yepthatsme said...

Now this what constitutes a blind! Glamour, intrigue, danger, everything wrapped into one!

Brayson87 said...

I mean really, LiLo would have f*cked those guys if the dude just asked her too, no questions asked.

OB said...

I love this!

Natalie Fike said...

Lilo is gross. Who would even do her?

J said...

Lord she is fucking stupid.

Tricia13 said...

Evidently she is a freak in the sheets -anything goes.
(Especially ones clean bill of health)

Mary Springowski said...

BUT who was the actor she was with?!

Tuesdi said...

HA HA HA~

MJ said...

i find this sad, really sad

Do Tell said...

What accents does Lindsay do?

Brayson87 said...

Eh, most single women are freaks in the sheets and anything goes nowadays, thanks internet and positive role models. Although LiLo is rumored to be down with animals.

Rosemary Young said...

...but who is the business mogul? Anyone we've heard of?

gauloise said...

Defnitely Lilo the title of the blind is "Redhead Sparrow"

Thorne said...

Wonder where Firecrotch got the idea that someone who loves her would turn her out? Gee, a mystery indeed πŸ€”

Vita said...

Very True Lies!!

John The former peasent said...

The almost spy who shagged half a committee.

Mad Hominem said...

This is the funniest blind I've ever read on this site! Kudos all around!

Of course, one is tempted to feel bad for a certain redheaded sparrow, but since we all know she has pissed away every opportunity for a career ever (while the rest of the world struggles to make ends meet) so she could party like the Wh-re of Babylon, I have precious little sympathy for her.

And for the life of me, I can't think of anyone else this blind could apply to.

MichiganMama59 said...

Hahahaaaaaa.

Great article, but could use some paragraphing!

HushHush said...

This is hilarious. I think it's Scar-Jo.
Who is the guy I wonder.

HeatherBee said...

I love it! What a dumb hooker.

BlindAsTheNextGuesser said...

First time guess-er, but how about Connie Nielsen? Redhead. Speaks 8 languages. Mostly movie actress, but has done some TV and has modeled. Seemed potentially A list, never got there. Was in Nymphomaniac, filmed in Belgium.

kiki71 said...

@hush hush Scar Jo isn't former almost A list. They're coming out with an Avengers movie just for her character.

PickyTicky said...

Sound like. Poor LILO

Huckleberry said...

This is awesome

sallypancake said...

This is hilarious! And yes, definitely Lindsay. "Among the Shadows" filmed in Brussels:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5206770/

Brayson87 said...

The life story of LiLo would be bigger than a movie, they'd have to make it a tv show with multiple seasons to capture all the insanity. Now that I would watch.

HushHush said...

@Kiki Of course. This is like the Little Britain episode of Arrested Development where Charlize Theron's character Rita, thinks she's a spy, but she's just really dumb.

annie roo said...

What does anyone see in her, it certainly puzzles me. She has gone a long way without being beautiful.

Brayson87 said...

@annie, I always assumed it was a Tom Sawyer whitewashing the fence kind of deal where she was the fence.

Adrastia said...

She's dumb but at least she got to LARP as a spy.

Unknown said...

How many people have the chutzpah to live like Lohan does?
Nobody, that's who. She's like a Clive Cussler novel.
The girl is fascinating.

Muckduck said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Unknown said...

What a hot mess. From snatching kids off the street in wherever to hooking in bars. And she STILL has no fucking work ethic! Show up for the first job you signed for, dummy. She gonna lose that shitty beach show.

J.W. Christensen said...

Now this sounds like a hilarious plot to a movie that I'd watch. Quick, someone write the screen play.

Sarton Bander said...

The shag who spied me.

astra worthington said...

The international STD of mystery

Anonymous said...


I think Lohan is a remarkable, creative spirit, stuck with a bad name.
She never asked to be put in TV and movies.
Her parents did that.
Sending her good thoughts. Circle of light.

MattDaddy said...

Okay, but who's the dude? Who's the joker?

Boots said...

Could the dude be Affleck (maybe with a little creative help from Damon) ?

Sarton Bander said...

He's directing WhoreGo? (IIRR Affleck directed Argo a spy flick)

Anne T. said...

Did y’all see the video of her following those people in Europe an telling at them in a strange accent, trying to take their kid? I wonder if this was part of that...

sugar of lead said...

Affleck.

aemish said...

I just watched the video of her stupid accent LOL.. reminds me of Dorit Kemsley's accent on Beverly Hills Housewives

A. said...

RIGHT??

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