Friday, March 02, 2007

Jessica Simpson Proud Of Learning Lines, Making Faces For 'Blonde Ambition'




I know I am supposed to lay off Jessica Simpson for awhile, but she sounds like a 5th grader. Look Daddy, I learned my lines and learned how to spell ambition and the director gave me a gold star to take home and put on my door. He said I was the best at making faces in the whole world. I think he is a little naughty, but I like that. She also told MTV that the weight of her new movies was on her shoulders. I know Luke Wilson is happy to hear that. When the movie bombs he can say, she was the one who was responsible. The only thing positive I can find to say is that I may have to see the movie because I think Andy Dick is so funny. Of course I thought I could watch Dukes of Hazzard because I thought Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville were funny. I still get the shakes thinking of that movie. Not Lindsay Lohan going to nightclubs on Oscar night shakes, but still the shakes.

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

If I had a B-cup in the 5th grade, my teacher probably wouldn't make me learn how to spell either.

Morgan said...

You started out with some good BIs Ent, but now they've gone downhill and you blog is filled with snark about people like Jessica and Pete Doherty. How original.

Anonymous said...

Have to agree - the blog is getting really pretty nasty and not very clever. The tone is entirely different, and the posts are old. Used to be great, and I'm not sure what's up.

JeeezeLouise said...

Gmail is still broken, EL. I was trying to send you this link - the AP tried a Paris ban, too!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17406452/

JeeezeLouise said...

That's great, you guys can do better! Where are your blogs, so we can check them out??

WTF said...

"I know I am supposed to lay off Jessica Simpson for awhile,"

Wait, I missed something!! I like snarky remarks about this idiot.

Anonymous said...

Her face could stop a clock.

kchal11267 said...

LOL - you have so much LOVE for her don't ya!! Can they not rename the move Blonde Bimbo???

Buh bye Morgan and Anon - you will be missed SO BADLY...

vera said...

Listen-she would have been a smash hit in silent films!

lisap515 said...

This girl is so fug. I do not get her appeal. Her singing is just as horrid. I sooo wish Nick would have taken 50% of everything she earned while married to him. You KNOW she (Pimpa) would have gouged Nick for 50% of all his if she had earned less.

I love the snarky comments. It does sound like a different writer to me though. Just a different tone. Doesn't sound MALE to me anymore.

BUT, tone of voice, attitude is so hard to interpret in print. Snarky however comes through loud and clear.

Still love it. At least not a huge QUEEN being catty and constant CUM/COKE lines drawn on every picture.

Lisa

hez said...

How did she get a hold of Britney's wig??

Umbrellas at dawn, bitches!

Anonymous said...

I study linguistics and it's definitely a different writer.

mookie said...

^ wow, we love us some enty law! *love the way his board & blog are defended* enty: you better not be hks-style fug or i will die. actually, all your female constituency will.

;)

SB said...

Hey Jeeze, by any chance are you writing this blog for EL except for the blind items? Just curious -

SB

JeeezeLouise said...

SB, nope, not me.

lisap515 said...

jeezelouise do you agree it's different though or you still think one writer?

Morgan said...

Jeez, must you kiss EL's ass constantly? I think he can defend himself. No I don't have a blog, but that doesn't make this one any better.

hez said...

Morgan, it begs the question why must you persist if you find the blog (and all of us) such bitter disappointments?

It certainly sounds like your day would be a lot nicer if you didn't have to keep reminding yourself of the way you think this blog used to be.

Morgan said...

Persist in what Hez? I have a right to criticize here if I see fit. Thanks for your concern for my personal well being.

hez said...

Oferfucksakes, I just clicked the link and read the "interview".

-[bashing head on keyboard to dull the pain]-

I'm no ANS fan, but I can't help thinking they're burying the wrong dumb blonde today in that heinous pink streamer-bedecked coffin.

JeeezeLouise said...

Morgan, I consider myself to be in someone else's space when I'm visiting a blog, and think it rude to bitch if I don't like the content - considering that there are roughly 110 million other sites on the Internet that I can visit if I don't like the one I'm currently reading AND clicking away is so very easy.

If I want to bitch, I can do it on my own site.

Lisaap515, I've been away for several weeks, and haven't read all the posts, so I wouldn't know if there has been changes in writing style from post to post. The last time I gave this matter much thought, I noticed that EL rarely uses contractions, and that still seems to be the case.

regards

Morgan said...

Respectfully Jeez, you and I differ in our opinions, lets leave it at that.

SB said...

Jeeeze - I agree with Lisaap515 that there seems to be a distinct change in the writing - and I, too, had noted that EL does not use contractions, but that's not it, I don't think.

It's the change in the tone from one of a more objective observer to a much snarkier, critical one, along the lines of perez. I have no objection to snark, it just seems so entirely different. Plus, as a lawyer myself, I have to say that there is NO WAY in the world I would be able to find time to post continually during the work day. Thus, I started to conclude that maybe he still does the blind items, but that the other content was ghosted. BTW, I have no objection to that and don't really care - gawker, perez and many other blogs do the same. I'm really curious, and I think it's because of the fact that he's a lawyer and the shift in tone and content that has me thinking he has to have some help. Hez, maybe?

SB

hez said...

SB, I do blog, but I don't write posts for anyone but myself. I wish I could take credit for this site and its success, but I am confident EL is the only one writing here. (I think that's actually a point of pride for him. I'm certain he's had offers of help and declined them for that reason.)

As for how he finds time in the day, I wondered that too, but then I realized it's very possible to write your entries the night before and just hit "publish" at various intervals during the day. I've done that myself with my blog.

That's my guess as to how he finds time.

As to whether or not the tone has changed, I attribute the increase in snark to EL hitting his stride as a blogger and becoming better attuned to what the readers like. I do understand where the questions come from, but I am not of the belief that there is anyone other than the original author still responsible for the content.

It's not just the lack of contractions, it's the sense of humour and the general perspective. Still rings completely true for me.

Plus, he still makes some of the same punctuation and grammar mistakes he always made. You can't fake that. ;-)

SB said...

Hez - Can't really argue with that analysis, esp. the thought about the writing at night and posting during the day. Like your blog, btw, especially The Amazing Race post - too funny (plus I'll admit to liking Romber, too.)

SB

hez said...

Thanks, SB. It's more time-consuming than I expected, but it sure is fun! Glad to have you aboard!

Morgan said...

I see, its ok for EL to snark on anyone he pleases, but nobody should have a negative comment about him? Thats interesting Hez.

SB said...

Hey Morgan -

Though I am quite sure that Hez can speak for herself, I did not get from her that nobody can have a negative comment about EL. I think she was simply giving her perspective.

It's funny - it seems that people (believe me - myself included) are more aware of a shift in tone of EL's posts and want to talk about it and/or take him to task, while at the same time are willing to accept the snarky-ness (even bitchiness and meanness) of perez, gawker, defamer, dlisted, etc. without comment. Must say something about the expectations of this site, huh?

Anonymous said...

i would slam it in the old lab kebab

lisap515 said...

well, i've been soundly chastised that EL is indeed the sole blogger and he'll let us know if he has outside help at any point. Good to hear it from the source so to speak. 'night all.

lisap515 said...

One more thing:

SB...I think we're so protective and in tune to EL is because something a/b him attracts us. Odd considering.

Perez and some others are obviously written by queens and stereotypical or not, the negativity, bitchyness, etc., is expected. EL makes me laugh, and humor is attrative. And, he makes us think. Before you know it...you're trying to solve the biggest blind item on this blog - WHO EL really is: male/female/black/white/straight/gay/bi/whatever.

Myself I cannot live w/out spell check/grammar check. I'm so dependent upon it that simple words are hard to spell if I stop to think a/b it too hard. Sad, but true.