Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Jessica Simpson Always Wears Panties

This article is so funny, I don't care if Jessica Simpson was accurately quoted or not. I am linking to the article, but also because of its length just reprinting it here as well.

JESSICA SIMPSON will never get caught without underwear like BRITNEY SPEARS and LINDSAY LOHAN, because she always covers up her private parts. The actress/singer is astonished so many young celebrities have been snapped panty-less, and would be horrified to find pictures of her genitals splashed across magazines and the internet. Simpson says, "I don't understand what's going on with that. I'm the kind of girl who always puts my hand between my legs when I'm getting out of a car if I'm wearing a short skirt. I always wear underwear. It's a personal rule."

SATIRICAL continuation of above quote.

Option #1 -
Daddy always checks to see if he can see my panties when I get out of the car and also checks to make sure I am always wearing them.

Option #2 -
Of course my personal rule could change if my next album bombs as bad as this latest one.

Option #3 -
I have lots of personal rules. You know that personal rules are different than public rules. I don't think there are public rules that talk about wearing underwear so I had to make a personal rule even though we are talking about going out in public. You understand?


Anonymous said...

EL I don't understand the Jessica bashing that always occurs on your site. I get it,we alllll get it Pimpa Joe is a bit pervy, if not misunderstood,but come on dear man give it a rest already,its becoming Jay Leno-esque.

Its not Jessica's fault her Dads creepy.At least she has a Dad that's there instead of writing her 'encouragement' letters from prison while gearing up to borrow a lil for Daddy when he gets out.

Anonymous said...

Jessica is wasting her time (and ours) in that last photo sexydancing for the benefit of Ken Paves.

"Watch me dance, Ken! Watch! Are you watching?? Ken, you're not even watching! Now I have to do that last move again."

He's not even looking at her.

Granted, it's not Jessica's fault her dad is creepy, but it's totally her fault SHE'S creepy.

Anonymous said...

Damn what's with the anon's today?
STFU I love the Jesucka bashing. I'd love MORE Jesucka bashing, like daily.

As for the quote: Bullshit, if Pimp Daddy told her to flash her bits she'd do it in a minute.

Anonymous said...

Jessica has contradicted herself on this. She told the October 2006 Allure a story about how she had to be lowered down on stage for a performance wearing a short skirt, and she was concerned because she didn't wear any panties to the show, and her stylist didn't bring her any to wear either. Somebody had to run out and buy her some. I don't have the text of the interview, but I remember what she said distinctly, because of how stupid it was. She obviously lies quite a lot.

Anonymous said...

Well, she's not a virgin anymore, she believes in sex outside of marriage, and she probably committed adultery while married, so I guess she has to scrape something together that makes her look pure compared to Paris & Co.

Anonymous said...

she's such a bore. i don't understand why she is even famous? her albums and movies bomb, and the only reason she keeps getting hired for movies is because her daddy is the producer.

Anonymous said...

It makes my day, to read negative stuff about her.She thinks the world loves her, thinks that people will run to the movies to see her, and thinks that people really care about who she's sleeping with. People really want to tell her how pathetic she is.

Anonymous said...

4:04pm anonymous: WELL SAID!

This girl thinks the world loves her and the truth is, we're all laughing at her. She speaks about herself as though she is so beautiful. She is not physically beautiful at all nor is intellectually stimulating...she is a total joke. I don't really know how she lives with herself. (i'm sure the money can only dull the pain so much, but then again, I'm pretty sure she and her family and the people she surrounds herself with only care about monetary wealth and celebrity). She lacks sophistication and grace, two traits that make real women beautiful. I hope we see less and less of this bitch in the coming year.


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