Monday, February 26, 2007

Vanity Fair Party

This person knows the kind of scoop I am looking for, has helped out in the past and so she delivered. The Vanity Fair party can be very intimidating as the stars there usually have the biggest egos and are the ones who are the most pretentious, snobbish, high and mighty, hypocritical, and elitist. Thankfully my friend has none of those qualities but she does not just walk up to Guy and Madonna and say something brash like our Elton John correspondent would have. On the other hand she did not keep drunk dialing me until 4am either so you take the good with the bad.

News and Notes from Vanity Fair Party
I know this is supposed to be about gossip but the first person I saw was the artist David Hockney. I actually got his autograph. I love his work. I feel like this party is for the adults and that everyone is in the formal living room which we never use. I love dressing up, but these people are all acting while they are here celebrating acting which is surreal. Al Gore came up to me and told me how much he liked my work. I thanked him and then wiped off about twenty lipstick prints off his cheeks. If something is alive, Bill Maher will hit on it. If I was gay, I would do Portia De Rossi. My god she is beautiful. I think Robert Downey Jr. and Al Pacino are melding into the same person. I thought I was low person on the totem pole until I saw Breckin Meyer. How did he get in? Everyone wanted to see Reese Witherspoon but Ryan ruined it by coming here. I think Oprah is the Queen of the World. Everyone has to make their manners with her and you feel like curtsying when you see her. When I saw Kirsten Dunst, I did not know she was with her brother and I thought, they make a nice couple. When I found out it was her brother I just hoped it was not going to be an Angelina Jolie family type moment. You know Gwyneth and Madonna are from the US. Why do they act British? It is just annoying. Rose McGowan got a new boob job and her boyfriend reminds me of the time Dwight Yoakum and Sharon Stone hooked up. Rene Angelil and Celine Dion belong in a museum. They are so stiff and they act like they are stuffed anyway. Celine acted as if she was channeling some type of late 60's early 70's commune princess who got dressed up. Seriously, they both creep me out.
Good Lord, I think something exploded on Brittany Murphy's dress. Her boyfriend acts like a poodle. He might not last until the end of the night as her boyfriend. Isla Fisher always makes me laugh. She and Sacha are good together. I know everyone thinks of him as Borat but I just always see him in Talledega Nights. I see he and Andy Richter kissing in my head and it always makes me smile. David Spade was even worse than Bill Maher. Hayden P had a chaperon tonight so there were no 50 year old guys hitting on her. Chris Klein, I am not sure you even like girls, but your new girlfriend is a dead ringer for Katie Holmes. Hey, James Woods and all of you other guys. Do I have a sing on my head that says please hit on me, I am attracted to old, attached men who will screw anything. Hey Jessica Biel. Are you really doing Fez? Then who is the guy you are with tonight? Did you use an entire tube of lipstick at once? I jumped up and down and saw Tom Cruise. Vince Vaughn was hitting on a woman and then her husband came up, and he said," but you don't have a ring on. It was fair game man." Kelly Lynch looked amazing and Keith and Nicole looked so happy and they talked to me which was even nicer. They wanted hints about my show, but I told them I do not know what is going on either.

26 comments:

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Wow! Someone actually invited Tom Cruise to party!

Anonymous said...

Keith & Nicole wanted hints about what?

Anonymous said...

Yeah - hints about WHAT? Don't leave us hanging! Such a tease!

Anonymous said...

I third that request.

MnGddess said...

OK - In that photo, why does Katie Holmes look more like Tom Cruise's little sister than his wife?

And Ent, have I ever told you I loved you? (take that, Hez.) When I read your blog I feel in a small way that I've actually been to these parties, which is so cool when your're a NJ mom getting through another day. Thanks.

Cyn

Anonymous said...

Rose Mcgowan new boob job? No! She always had the most gorgeous breasts, it just hurts me to read that.

Anonymous said...

Tell ya what, Cyn...

I'll make sure you get a good seat at the wedding.

;-)

Anonymous said...

Anyone have the scoop of Eddie Murphy leaving the awards show after he didn't win?

Anonymous said...

I feel like I've just been served with a big plate of "huh? wtf?"

Is Ent female?

Two things in this post make me wonder. One: "If I was gay, I would do Portia De Rossi." If Ent is a male, shouldn't he have written, "If she weren't gay..." or, "If I were a gay female..." ???
Two: James Woods hitting on Ent. Maybe I'm completely wrong, but James Woods seems really straight to me. He's dating some hottie from his show. I can't picture him hitting on Ent unless Ent is a hot female.

This is not the first time I've thought that Ent might be female. Lying about gender would be a very good way of protecting his/her identity.

Am I completely out to lunch?

Anonymous said...

Nevermind my last comment! I'm definitely out to lunch. I missed the fact that the "notes" were written by Ent's female spy, not Ent.

Anonymous said...

All I read was that Eddie was pissed off he didn't win and left after his category.

Anonymous said...

Hihi. Are you trying to insinuate that you're real and your blog well known in the business with that Nic & Keith remark?

Anonymous said...

Is the female spy Ali Larter? perhaps...Ent is friends with her, her new show heros is a never ending cliff hanger and shes really down to earth and protective of Hayden P.

hmmm

Anonymous said...

wow john travolta's hair piece looks awfully girlish. ewww.

Anonymous said...

I think the female spy of EL's is someone from the tv show Lost. She said that Nic & Keith asked for hints from her show - what other show on tv would they want hints from? My guess is the spy is Evangeline Lily. She seems down to earth and would be friends with someone like EL. Was she at the Vanity Fair party??
Of course I could be so off base too with that idea LOL.

Anonymous said...

isn't it yk? yunjin kim? i scoured the site trying to find the reference. if i'm remembering correctly a yk invited EL to sit at her table, but i for the life of me can't remember the event.

Jem said...

Yun Jin Kim makes a LOT of sense! She did take Ent to an awards ceremony.

Anonymous said...

i'm back, and i'm not nuts. it was the golden globes. . .

"The person I went with this year was YK which is who I went with last year."

Jem said...

Sorry, also - I think it was the Golden Globes. And he helps people out by taking them to the Grammys, I think that is the swap.

Anonymous said...

Ok so I was wrong about the Lily chick but Lost was right!! Woo hoo. We have guessed the spy!

Anonymous said...

i dunno, ellebee, she's not listed on getty images as being at the the vanity fair party--unless they just don't have a photo of her.

Anonymous said...

I know I have been checking pics everywhere. :( Maybe just with so many other "big name" stars they haven't posted her pics yet. Man I thought it all made sense for a change lol

Anonymous said...

john travolta looks especially queeny in that picture. *shudder*

Anonymous said...

Breckin was Ryan's "date". They've been best friends for years. That's how he got in.

Anonymous said...

Agree with the Travolta comments - he looks like he is channeling his inner (or nor so inner) Truman Capote. So queeny. Why not just come out. It's so obvious now.

annie said...

Ali Larter was at the party so I'm sure it's her.

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