Wednesday, September 17, 2008

R. Kelly Is Viable


Didn't realize a human could be viable, but apparently if you are R. Kelly you can be. In a long, self serving interview with BET, R, or as he likes to refer to himself Robert answered everything from questions about loving underage girls to blackmail. Incidentally, Robert. When you refer to yourself constantly in the third person, then switch to first person, and use different names to identify yourself in the third person, you really are not doing any favors to yourself. Because as of right now, it sounds like you and three other guys are teaming up on a bunch of teenage women.

When the interviewer asked about Robert's preference for teenage girls, Robert replied, "I like teenage girls. I have some that are 19, but none are younger than that." Uh huh. I guess the 41 year old singer keeps a bevy of them around just in case the cops show up. Who the hell says I have some? Like he just kind of rotates through them daily. Are you really trying to tell me there are a bunch of 19 year old girls sitting around Chicago waiting patiently for their turn on the R. Kelly love stick?

Kelly says that everything that has ever been said about him that is hurtful has been done as blackmail and by people who had a self serving interest. Everything mind you. See, R. Kelly is a saint and he has never done anything wrong. So, anything you ever hear bad about him comes from someone who doesn't love Robert and who is only using him.

And why are all these people saying all these bad things about Robert if they are not true.

"I've been blackmailed a billion times in my career... I know that people will do this. Sometimes, yeah, even your own family members, and I don't hate none of them but I know a lot of people be (sic) out to get me because I'm very viable."

Yeah, like an embryo. Oh, wait, he wouldn't be interested in that. Probably too old.

12 comments:

Mooshki said...

"Because as of right now, it sounds like you and three other guys are teaming up on a bunch of teenage women."

Thanks, you almost killed me - I read this and choked on my croissant. :)

He's first in line to be sent to my island for sexual predators.

kris said...

maybe your family members wouldn't be blackmailing you if you weren't doing things that are wrong ROBERT.

selenakyle said...

Pshaaahhh. What a dick.

selenakyle said...

OT--anyone see on dlisted where Gwynneth will say on Oprah today that she can't diet and exercises more to keep her weight down?

I'm smelling a reveal.

kris said...

selenakyle - what reveal? I'm not remembering any blinds with hours of exercise involved...refresh my memory.

Cheryl said...

Is R.'s trial over? Did he get off? Is he off the hook? (or did he GET OFF and he is OFF THE HOOK!!)

Lisa said...

"and I don't hate none of them but I know a lot of people be (sic) out to get me because I'm very viable."

GAH! I f***ing HATE bad grammer and ebonics! When you mix the two together.....GAH! (*runs screaming from room*)

selenakyle said...

The actress using coke to keep the weight down although it's supposedly all her exercise doing the trick.
Ran last week, I think.
Anyway, it just popped for me (like Shawn J.'s taco!). Could be totally off base...

Bad Fish said...

Well, if she has to workout all those hours because she "just can't diet" then she's a freakin' whacko and delusional to boot. What the hell is VEGAN? Some kind of glorious food paradise free for all? There's barely a thing she can eat as it is. I'm sorry, you don't need to exercise three hours a day to work off asparagus and water, you just don't.

Harriet Hellfire said...

R. Kelly creeps me out. I know he was found innocent but I don't care. Something about him says "guilty". And "delusional", also.

kris said...

Thanks for clarifying...I remember that B.I....hmmmm..

very interesting although fish does have a point...how much does a person really need to work out when everything they eat is green...I dunno...

Bad Fish said...

Oh and by the way EL, wherever you read your source from must have left off part of the quote. What he actually said was "I have some 19 year old friends."