Random Photos Part One

It's about damn time. Anyway, might as well begin with two of the three amigos body surfing or they could be doing water ballet. Yes, it's Martin Short and Steve Martin.

When the collar bone starts jutting out and looking as if it could harm a small child, it is time to eat Anne Hathaway.

Yeah, I'm not getting this latest look from Brad Pitt in W.
This was one of a series of about ten of Britney Spears from yesterday. She then covered herself and basically freaked out at the photographers.
Is Drew Barrymore's hair saying she just had a nooner or ten drinks at noon?
Yes, Daniel Craig is promoting a new movie. So, I'm sure I will run through a photo a day of him for a week or two.
Who is eating this huge lunch?
Fergie.
I have to say Hilary Duff looks pretty good here.
And Jake never takes off his hat.
Joshua Jackson keeps his ipod in his pants. You looked didn't you?
Jennifer Love Hewitt on the set of her show yesterday. She looks like she would be a laugh filled riot to talk to.
And Katie Holmes has given up Scientology and now become Amish.
"I'm Kate Moss and 8 feet tall."
Well hi right back at you Leighton Meester.
Michael Phelps wins our staged candid of the day award.
It has been awhile since I had Mira Sorvino in the photos. Nothing really else to say.
Sheryl Crow back in LA after her vacation with Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox.
I really hope that is a wig on Selena Gomez otherwise people are going to think she has started doing porn.
Verne is back and this time he brought Coolio with him.
At least Whitney Port tips the valet.

Today's Blind Items

At some point today there will be photos. They just need to be uploaded and the snark attached, but Blogger is not cooperating. So, in the mean time, enjoy a blind item.

What current Emmy award winning network show has a production assistant who does not do any work related to the production but still gets paid. Oh yes, they get paid by the production company for basically sitting around. Why? Well when the PA is not sitting around he is the drug dealer of choice for about ten of the cast, crew and producers and they want him always close at hand. So, he gets paid for being there and doing nothing, and paid for his drug selling skills. Not a bad gig I guess. Which one does he put on his resume?

I Always Wondered How Beaches Made Money - Witchcraft

According to TMZ, Naveen Andrews who stars on Lost was awarded sole physical and legal custody of his three year old son until a full hearing next month. Apparently Naveen went to court because his baby mama took the three year old out of LA County. Umm, maybe they were just going down to Sea World or the San Diego Zoo or something. Actually it appears that the reason she took the son out of the county was to get away from Barbara Hershey who was accused in court papers of practicing witchcraft and poisoning the child.

Yeah, that story didn't really fly really well with the judge either who decided that not only can Naveen have sole custody but hey, its ok for him to take his son to Hawaii for filming and that the son can stay with either Barbara or Naveen.

I really feel sorry for the mother. I just hate any family law cases because someone is always going to just feel awful after they are over and even during the entire process. Naveen's attorney asked the judge to order that the mom get psychological testing but it is unclear whether the judge ordered it.

When TMZ caught up with the mom she was sitting on the ground outside the courthouse crying. She previously had custody of the son and now she feels like she has been robbed by someone who just happens to be more famous, has more money and can hire an attorney.

"I can't believe celebrities and their money. They always get what they want."

I'm sure it seems that way to her.

I would show you photos of the scene outside the courtroom, but Blogger sucks. So, here is a link to the TMZ photos and the very real tears of the mom.

Sarah Jessica Parker Not Moving Out

While I wait for blogger to sort out its issues in regards to photos I thought I would go ahead and discuss the Star Magazine report that is coming out which says that Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are splitting. They aren't. A very reliable friend had lunch with Matthew in the past week and point blank asked him how the relationship was and Matthew said everything was great. Could Matthew have been lying? Sure, especially if he knew the story would get back to me. But this friend is one of Matthew's best friends so if anyone should know the real story he should.

Quick Hits

If photos were uploading properly on Blogger, you would see a football player getting nailed here. But, since it isn't you will just have to use your i-mag-in-a-tion.

Porn Industry Suffering - Apparently the economic downturn has hit the porn industry hard. It just can't seem to get up to the levels it once did and as a result the companies are having trouble performing. So, what does any good company do in these times of performance issues and feelings of inadequacy? They turn to the US Congress. Knowing that probably many Congressman are big fans of porn, Larry Flynt and the Sex Convict Joe Francis are asking Congress for about $5 billion to help them out during these troubled times. The feeling in the porn industry is that since it is such a huge industry and employs so many workers that they too should be entitled to some bailout money. If they get their money, they did promise Congress free subscriptions to Hustler and a Girls Gone Wild t-shirt.

There Won't Be Kids - Scarlett J told Harper's Bazaar that she is not planning on having kids anytime soon if ever. Seems she and Ryan Reynolds are not big on the whole idea of kids and so will not be contributing to the world's population anytime soon. I think Ryan may actually change his mind but there is no way someone as selfish as Scarlett is ever going to have kids unless there was something in it for her. So, if her career takes a nose dive and she needs some positive publicity or some cash, then we will see if she changes her mind.

Sex Toy Fun With Carmen Electra - Apparently Carmen Electra is a huge collector of sex toys. She loves them so much that she has even come up with homemade ones when she does not have a store bought one handy. Her latest fun toy is a wire coat hanger. Umm, yeah. I saw that one. It was called Mommie Dearest. She says there is pleasure and pain involved. I think the only pleasure would be when you stopped beating someone with it. I guess my imagination is not good enough to come up with any possible other pleasure associated with the use of a wire coat hanger on my body.

Baby makes 4 - Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck had their second daughter. Well actually, Jen gave birth and Ben sat there with a remote control in his hand wondering when he could go out and get some food. No, I'm sure he was great the entire time. No word on the name of the baby. Apparently they are thinking about selling the naming rights to the baby in order to make more money than the traditional baby photo money from the tabloids. So far, the front runner is Wal-Mart. Although that part is crap, do you think any celebrity would consider naming their kid after a brand? I mean if you are going to exploit your kid for money, what's the harm in selling their name? It isn't like they will use it for their whole lives. They would just go by a nickname, but whenever a story is written about the kid or the parents, the naming rights would come up and the company would get publicity again.

Did You Bring Your Parachute?

This is not really gossip but I cracked myself up thinking about this scenario and since my assistant stopped laughing at me long ago, I need someone to share it with. There is a new airline starting up in South Africa called Airtime Airlines. With a name like that it stands to reason that one of the main investors is a cell phone company. Apparently the cell phone company thinks that the price per minute feature will translate well to airlines as well.

The airline is just planning on flying to three cities from their base in South Africa, but instead of charging the way a regular airline will, they instead are going to charge by minute. So, if a flight lasts 75 minutes you will pay for 75 minutes of travel. Currently the airline is selling minutes for about $.50. You can buy a bunch of minutes in advance and when they run out you just top them up like a cell phone.

As a bonus you don't get charged for any minutes you spend on the ground. So, a three hour delay on the runway is not going to cost you extra. My question is this. You are in the middle of a 75 minute flight and you had enough minutes for the flight, but a strong headwind comes along and the flight gets extended for 10 or 15 minutes. You don't have any money with you and the flight attendant comes around and asks whether you are going to top off your minutes or are you planning on getting out now? Are parachutes complimentary in that case or is it just a matter of say, umm, disconnecting your service and throwing you out the door?

OK, now we can go back to gossip. I just thought it was funny.

What Do You Think?

So, what comes first? Family or career? In a recent interview, Chris Evans who is in the Fantastic Four movies was talking about his openly gay brother Scott. In the interview he said, "I'm down with the gays. Mostly I'm hanging out with (my brother) and his gay buddies, who are f**king hilarious. They're the funniest people I know. They've invited me out to gay bars before, and I said, 'Look, guys, I've got to draw the line there.' That's where a photo will get taken, it will run in magazines, and before you know it, I'll be living down the gay rumor for the rest of my life."

This is an interesting situation. I don't understand why Chris can hang out with his brother and his friends but doesn't want to be seen in public with them. From the sound of it, Chris will only hang out with them in a house or a private location where no one knows he is hanging out with gay people. But, then he does this interview where he says he does hang out with gay people so to me I don't see the harm in going out to some clubs with his brother. Does his brother go to straight clubs with him? Is Scott worried that straight rumors will follow him for the rest of his life? That all of his gay friends will shun him because he was seen hanging out with straight people?

Even if you get spotted at a gay bar, he has given this interview and explained that he is not gay. Well actually he doesn't say that does he? He just says he doesn't want the gay rumor to follow him around forever. Do you think it makes his brother mad or do you think his brother understands that a career is more important than family? Is it a big deal even that he is not going to gay clubs with his brother? I just think that it is an interesting decision. In my opinion I would go to the club with my brother and his friends, but then again my career is not based on public perception and I have always been a big family supporter. Of course I have to say that considering I get free rent and food from my family. What do you think?

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which paunchy Hollywood star, with a taste for eastern European hookers, makes his poor overworked PA book him different girls every day of the week during trips abroad?

Ione Skye Gets Married

You know how I feel about wedding stories. I hate them. There are just too many of them and it is like a roller coaster keeping up with who is married and who is getting divorced. But, sometimes I make an exception and actually give the couple more than a random photo. This is one of those exceptions. I mean it is Ione Skye. Lloyd Dobler's lady got married. Yes, it is her second wedding, but it is Ione Skye and really this is the only way she even gets in the news. She and Ben Lee got married last week in India. They got married by Lee's guru there. I'm guessing he didn't look like Mike Myers but you never know.

Lee started seeing this guru after he and Claire Danes broke up. I guess it must have hit the guy hard. It is the first time Lee has walked down the aisle or whatever they did in India. I mean this is a guru. Do they have an open bar after a guru marries you? Honestly if you don't have an open bar at your reception then really what is the point? You need that open bar situation to make the meeting of strangers that much more fun. Nothing says new friendships like free booze.

Peter Gabriel played In Your Eyes at the ceremony. No, not really, but it would have been kind of cool huh?

Now That's Gossip

When you think of gossip, you always think of something sensational or juicy. I think there is so much gossip that it often becomes "so and so was using coke off his boyfriend's chest while the boyfriend was injecting his neighbor with heroin" and we just kind of become blase about it. OK, if that really happened it would be pretty cool. It actually has happened, but that is for another day. Anyway, juicy gossip. Very. Now, this particular gossip comes from France.

As you know I have had an obsession with the French Justice Minister for several months now. I began this obsession when I first discovered the European media was taking hundreds of photos of her each week when she was leaving the Wednesday cabinet meeting. At first I thought it was just because she was pregnant, but I have since learned from reading and all my European readers that the reason besides her being beautiful is that the identity of the father is a secret. No, it isn't me. I don't think. No, it couldn't be because the only thing I ever do when I go to France is drink red wine and butcher the language. Then I mumble something about seeing art and so go back to my hotel and stare at the paintings on the wall of my hotel room and order more wine.

So, the Minister gave birth via a C-Section on Friday and the top photo is her at the Cabinet meeting this morning. I know, I know. Plus, don't the French give you like 10 years off from work with pay when you have a baby?

So, where is the gossip? Apparently the rumor is right now that the father of the baby is actually the President of France. Yep. Which is why Carla and our Justice Minister do not exactly care for one another. My math is not great, but it would seem that the President would have had to do this after he was married, non? You like that little non in there. Very cool huh?
Feeding fuel to this theory is that for much of the last week of her pregnancy, the brother of the President was with Rachida and giving constant updates to his brother. See, she is the Justice Minister so I don't think constant updates are really necessary. The country can probably get along without her for a few weeks. I also thought that it was interesting that she went to the cabinet meeting today to see her baby's daddy at probably the only place they can see each other without the world watching.

Love this story. If you think it is boring because it is in France, substitute the President of France for the head of your country and it becomes a pretty damn good story.

Lily Allen Thinks Using Coke Is Normal

I am loving Lily Allen right now despite the fact there is some question in my mind about whether her current relationship started before or after her boyfriend was separated from his wife. I love the new sober Lily. But, sometimes Lily can go a little off the deep end, and the thing is, with her new CD about to come out, she is being forced to do a lot more press and a lot more outrageous statements are sure to follow.

She did an interview with Metro, and had this to say about people who use cocaine.

"I know lots of people that take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work every day, no problem at all. But we never hear that side of the story. I have no statement to make, I just wish people wouldn't sensationalize this thing that just exists. The only story is that drugs are bad and they will kill you - you will become a prostitute, a rapist or a dealer. But that's not true."

Wow, I didn't know those were your only three choices for jobs once you started taking drugs. Glad Lily cleared that up for me. Wow, that is a tough choice. Prostitute, rapist or dealer. I will have to think about it and get back to you. I honestly cannot believe Lily is treating cocaine like someone having a glass of wine after work. I have seen people who could take coke and work and they did fine, but the people I know who took it three times a week, were not fine and they had a serious problem and the only reason they were working was to pay for the drug they were taking three times a week. Drugs are bad Lily. That is why it is the only story. Think about how much crap you got into just for drinking and then imagine yourself on coke. Oh, wait, yeah, let me rephrase. Think back to when you were on coke and if you were the same person you are now. I am guessing you are not since you don't use coke anymore. Well, at least that is what you say. Lily did admit that when she used to check into hotels, someone would always arrange for there to be 5 grams of coke on the table for her. I'm sure she just passed it out to all her friends. I mean they are doing it three days a week.

Guess We Know Who Did The Breaking Up

Apparently Jennifer Love Hewitt is the one who dropped the hammer on Ross McCall. I say this because Kneepads Magazine has a "source" who sounds a great deal like a publicist and who seems to think Jennifer Love Hewitt walks on water. With as much ass kissing as this source did, there was no need to be just a "source" because Jennifer Love would have kissed them and thanked them for being such a butt kisser.

According to the source, Jennifer has been quiet on the set while usually she is bubbly and outgoing. Usually Jen hangs out with the crew between takes but for now she is only hanging out with her bodyguard. Uh huh. And tell me exactly why Jen needs a bodyguard on a closed set. One of those crazy gaffers on the loose or something? Yeah, I would like to see this "bodyguard" and wonder if he doesn't have a little something to do with the situation.

You know how you can tell this is written by a publicist? This one line. "She is always so professional. She would never even think to miss a day of work because of personal problems."

The only person who would ever make a comment like that is someone who gets paid by Jennifer. Someone who knows that Ghost Whisperer is going into the toilet and that Jennifer may need a job soon, so better let everyone know that she always comes to work on time and nothing distracts her from her task. Except her bodyguard.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which pothead actor is seeking refuge for harder drugs in a NYC rehab center? The toker couldn’t quite kick the nose-candy habit.

Today's Blind Items

"Hey aren't you?" There have been a rash of sightings and I use the term rash here as a caution to all people to not engage in unprotected sex with workers of the sex industry. Anyway, the rash of sightings took place over a two day period. Who was being seen and what were they doing? Well it turns out this A list country singer might have been enjoying the absence of his wife because for two days there were sightings of our singer picking up women who make their living on the streets. At least three times over a 48 hour period our singer cruised around in his very recognizable car and picked up women for about 20 minutes of fun. Now, I don't know if he was just not getting any at home or if he wanted to give his wife a very special Christmas present that could not be returned.

Random Photos Part One

Alyssa Milano is getting married and it isn't to a baseball player. Shocker I know. Instead she is getting married to this guy. He's an agent. This photo was actually taken the night before he proposed. He does look like he is sweating a bit. Probably hoping they didn't get into some horrible fight and then have his plans shattered. You want to see a guy kissing some ass, go out with him the night before he proposes.

"So, there I was in the shower after we had sex the other night and my willy just fell right off."
I have to admit it. Christina Aguilera actually looks pretty here.
I bet you think I am going to say Courteney Cox looks like crap or something, but you know what? The I didn't dry my hair before I went out to lunch look seems to work for her ok here.
Cameron Diaz off to visit her future in-laws.
Wow. Can you say fake tan and some blond highlights? Damn. You know he is getting divorced because he thinks this will make him look more attractive to the ladies I guess. Makes me just want to laugh and laugh.
Hugh Jackman with his Something About Mary hair.
"Hmmm. Apparently I am supposed to put this metal object in my hand into the opening. Is this what an 'everyday person' does?"
Yeah. You can see Jim Carrey just working that string out inch by inch.
Yeah, well your kids won't be smiling when their teacher reads aloud their ridiculous names the first day of school.
Holding hands never seemed more cold.
No Verne Troyer today, but someone almost as scary. LaToya Jackson who is also on Celebrity Big Brother says the Jackson 5 will definitely tour very soon. Yeah, like they would tell her.
I have decided that Lindsay Lohan won the fight with Samantha Ronson. I just think Lindsay would kick her ass.
Yeah, this will make me want to buy LV purses. At least the bag draws my eyes away from the horror Madonna is attempting to show me.
Just because it has been awhile since Penelope Cruz has been in the photos.
Rip Torn plead not guilty to drunk driving. He was apparently driving on the shoulder of the road with a Christmas tree tied to the roof of his car. Well everyone knows you need a nip or two when you are buying a Christmas tree. Things are expensive.
And they still haven't cut his hair.
Sean Penn looks thrilled to be kissed by Josh Brolin. Look at the death grip on the shoulder. Sean's nails are turning blue.
What every woman wears to a soccer game.

Quick Hits

Lily Allen Threatens Katy Perry - As much as I like Lily Allen right now, I think this has to go down as one of the worst threats ever. Lily Allen says on her facebook page that she has the phone number of Katy Perry. She goes on to say that if Katy Perry ever says another bad thing about her (Katy called Lily fat last year) that she will post Katy's phone number on facebook. Ooooh. Maybe she will also call Katy's mom and tell on her.

Craig Ferguson Gets Hitched - Craig Ferguson announced on his show last night that he got secretly married over the holidays to his long time girlfriend Megan Wallace Cunningham. I'm guessing she is related to the Milwaukee Cunninghams and that the Fonz was the best man.

WAGS - TLC and NASCAR are teaming up in a new series about the wives of NASCAR drivers and how they get through their daily lives. I imagine they get through their lives pretty much the same way as the rest of us except with a lot more money and a lot less work to do. TLC wants to make it a cross between The Real Housewives series and Army Wives. Uh huh.

The Suck Up For Ratings Continues - The people over at the Golden Globes have decided that what would really class up their award ceremony is for the Jonas Brothers to present an award. Sure, that makes sense. All it does is show that the people running that thing will do anything to get people to watch whether it means having award presenters who will never be nominated in a category and nominating people who should never be nominated in the first place just to guarantee their attendance and ratings.

I Reall Am Nice - A Vogue cover girl is suing Google to try and find out the identity of a blogger who has called her a "skank" "old hag" and the "#1 skanky superstar." Apparently she found these offensive. By the way, this is the same model who earlier this year was in the headlines because a doorman at a bar didn't like her and so smashed her in the face with a vodka bottle.

Glad She Doesn't Live In LA

In Los Angeles, it seems like everyone hugs. Just met someone? It doesn't matter hug away. No matter the sex, people just hug away. I do notice that because of my girth and slight sweating issues that hugs directed my way are more of the air hug variety but they are still there.

Well apparently in Adelaide, Australia they have not really got into the whole hugging as a greeting thing. Well, at least one woman hasn't. Apparently Rajini Narayan saw her husband hug another woman. Nothing else. No kiss, no grab of the butt cheeks. Just a friendly hello hug. That was enough however to convince her that her husband was having an affair.

So, she decided to take matters into her own hands. No, this is not another cut off the peen story. What our wife did was pour an alcohol based solvent on his peen while the husband was sleeping and then lit it on fire.

"I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else ... I didn't mean this to happen."

Umm, if you burn it, I don't think there will be much for anyone, let alone you. Well as you can imagine, the man was in some pain. So, as he got up he knocked over the container of alcohol which made the fire spread and then engulfed the man in flames. He died of his injuries and the fire did about $1M worth of damage to the home. Oh, to make things even worse, the woman who was charged with murder was also charged with three counts of endangering life. It seems as if her three kids were home sleeping when this happened and they barely made it out of the house alive.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which supermodel is terrified that a video clip of her racking up lines of cocaine on a yacht in the Mediterranean are going to appear online any day?

Jamie Lynn's Decoy Wants $2M

I already thought the lawsuit Adessa Eskridge was planning on filing against the city of Los Angeles was pretty damn crazy, but apparently she is demanding $2M for her fifteen minutes of fame. $2M? In what crazy messed up world does she think what happened to her was worth $2M? First of all I don't even believe her version of the story and second of all I doubt anyone of us even if her story were 100% true would think of suing for $2M. Do you think the city is honestly going to cough up $2M for this?

Seriously. I don't know if she is smoking something or what. To give you an example, Rodney King won $3.8M in his civil suit against the city. Now, go ahead and compare that to a woman spending ten minutes surrounded by paps getting her photo taken because they thought she was some tweener star who has a famous last name and got pregnant. Yeah, ok. Well I guess I would be humiliated too if someone thought I was Jamie Lynn Spears. Hell, they couldn't print money fast enough if someone confused me with Jamie Lynn Spears. Of course if they did, I would probably also go into porn and call myself Jamie Lynn Steers.

According to Adessa's attorney, "Adessa suffered and continues to suffer great humiliation as a result. " Umm, who in the hell even knew who she is or was to cause her this humiliation before she decided to make her claim? Did you know her name? If you saw her on the street, would you laugh at her and mock her for pretending to be Jamie Lynn Spears? Well, we are probably a bad example because we all would. But we are snarky and cynical and judgmental. The rest of the world...OK bad example.

Hold Still I'm Trying To Squirt On You

Just when you think you have seen it all or heard it all or even read it all, along comes Madonna's brother Christopher Ciccone who shared a story with The Observer that didn't make it into his book about his sister. Of course since the story is not about his sister that would probably make sense. He claims the story didn't make it in because the lawyers for the publisher thought it would be libelous. Well, then of course it makes sense to go ahead and share it with a newspaper then because that makes it not I guess in his twisted logic. I don't understand, but hey, it is a great story.

Christopher basically spends several minutes trashing Demi Moore and saying she uses gays like handbags. He says that Demi only wanted to be friends with Christopher until she found a straight guy. When she found Ashton, then it was bye bye Christopher. To show what great friends they used to be he offered up the story of how he and Demi were dancing at a club one night and that Demi took offense to some of Christopher's lesbian friends.

Instead of walking away she decided to show them something else. She took out her breasts. OK, strange enough right there, but wait, it gets better. Apparently Demi was lactating from a recent birth. I'm guessing it was from a recent birth. I guess it could have been that Brice enjoyed the taste and didn't find it soury or weird like Pete Wentz. Anyway, Demi took out her breasts, and according to Christopher, began squirting her breast milk all over Christopher's lesbian friends.

I admit that I am an ignorant guy, but it seems to me this would be a bit difficult unless the women being squirted just kind of stood there about a foot from her. I mean is it possible to jet it out like some kind of death ray? Is there a contest somewhere for distance? What exactly is the world record for squirting breast milk across a crowded dance floor? Do you get extra points for accuracy?