Friday, December 16, 2011

Ted C Blind Item

Some dudes like Crotch Uh-Lastic and Toothy Tile, we really feel for. These are movie stars who truly do only like other guys, even though they also (just as much) want to be renowned film actors. So they play the game (well, Toothy does).

But then there's mischievous bisexual King Schlong, who can take boys—or go without them.

So, what's King's current sexual bent? And could the dog-eat-dog awards season have something to do with King's choice?

Girls, girls, girls and yes, yes, yes.

You see, truth be known, King's always fooled around with both sexes (as recently as this year, too!). But it's really not what drives King ultimately romantically—and certainly not come the career-defining months from Emmys to Oscars.

"That boy will no sooner go around boys when these awards are still out than Alec Baldwin will apologize to American Airlines," said one of King's myriad Biz colleagues, who knows full well that Schlong has long been a free spirit and doesn't want to be tied down to either sex, in any capacity.

But this maverick sensibility, we're told, is wholly heterosexually infused, at this time of the year because what King wants more than domestic happiness is...big ol' trophy-time recognition. "Like, bad," is how it was put to us.

Jeez. Kinda sounds like that old stereotype people are always applying to women only in this town, like, she slept her way to the top.

Apparently, King's desperately trying it out, too.

But will it work?

And It Ain't: Alex Pettyfer, Kellan Lutz, Alec Baldwin

28 comments:

RenoBlondee said...

Supposed to be Leo.

Bnl1016 said...

yea it is. i'm SO tired of ted's constant repeats.

pomme said...

is there a straight guy in Hollywood on Ted C's opinion?

MISCH said...

I like Leo, but have never found him sexy...so I really don't care.

secretceleb said...

I thought of Leo too, it all fits.

So is this the showbiz game then, you get rich, famous, then the money, women and fast cars aren't enough so you swing the other way searching for more.

Electric Warrior said...

Clooney? Or is that too obvs?

Maja. With a J. said...

I don't even know what I just read.

EmEyeKay said...

@Maja: me, neither!

Bitterella said...

@ MAja--here's a translation (applicable to almost any Ted blinf item):

"Blah blah blah CLOSETED ACTOR blah blah blah BEARD GIRLFRIEND/WIFE/HOOK-UP Blah blah blah SLEEPING WITH OTHER CLOSETED ACTOR Blah blah blah SCHLONG, DONG, WILLY, PECKER, blah blah blah.

Seachica said...

hahaha Biterella. So true!

LisbethSalander said...

LOL @Bitterella, what a wonderful interpretation of Ted's blinds.

feraltart said...

@Bitterella, LOL.

pomme said...

@Bitterella: big LOL and tank you for the translation

msgirl said...

heh

Sis Cesspool said...

Who even reads his rants anymore? I just come here to the comments to see the responses.

Anotheramy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anotheramy said...

Oh PS. I am going with Michael Fassbender.

MadLyb said...

I think King Schlong is either Leo or George. Meh.

Henriette said...

It's got to be George Clooney because he is hitting the awards trail HARD! He has the Descendants and Eyes of March. He wants one either as an actor OR a director.

Sherry said...

Bitterella for the win. Funny funny funny!

Mella said...

Ted makes me angry , I don't know why but he does

Jaiden_S said...

Does Clooney already have a nickname? If not, I'm going with him. Leo can be a second.

Geebz said...

huh?

rebecca said...

Clooney. "Mischievious" with the pranks, and the not being tied down thing, superobvious. I don't get the dog reference, but whatever, Ted's boring.

Clooney used to date a (male) friend of a friend.

ChasingHeaven said...

I think Clooney. It's a stretch, but maybe the dog remark is a hint to his interview in the upcoming Esquire.

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/george-clooney-poses-dog-einstein-esquire-living-life-best-i-article-1.991439

Henriette said...

Ted C states he gives only one nickname, but I've got my doubts about that.

DontRainOnMyPrada said...

Ryan Reynolds seems like the obvious guess to me. The dog reference. The reference to women sleeping their way to the top (like Blake Lively, his current squeeze). He's also been rumored to be well hung and possibly bi...

Bubbles said...

and what awards would Ryan be in contention for praytell? I don't know if you have to hit the trail hard to be considered for the Razzie.