Thursday, October 31, 2013

Your Turn

Is there a movie or television remake you have loved? A sequel better than the original? Is there anything you would like remade?

50 comments:

Beetlejuice said...

AHEM

Himmmm said...

PART TWO:


Without even discussing the film, this actor - drunk already - began making a pass at her. She politely declined, and excused herself. He wouldn’t have it. He literally threw her down, slapped the hell out of her, and ripped her clothes off. He shouted obscenities at her, continually punched and held her arms so tight he left scars and bruises.

He raped her repeatedly, spitting on her, and did permanent damage to her body. She was bleeding everywhere, with a battered face. She passed out. When she came to, the actor was still in the room gloating, and told her to come see him tomorrow night and he might give her the role. He laughed at her as she fell down, her legs so wobbly and weak. She gathered her torn clothes, and tried to walk out of the hotel and to her car - blood and semen running down her legs and bruises already forming on her face.

She could barely make it back home in her car. She wanted to kill herself, so ashamed of what happened. The damage to her psyche was permanent, and haunted her forever. But her physical pain was intolerable. She got home and her mother was aghast. Her parents blamed her. Her mom said she must have made the actor mad and offended him. They called a doctor, who took her to the hospital secretly to have her treated. When back at home, she stayed in bed and hidden for weeks.

The studio knew, and did nothing. After all, the star actor was a money machine. Even the actresses powerful agents and friends were helpless to punish him, or else they’d be cast out as well. In the 1950s, much like today, you didn’t rock the boat. The actress eventually recovered physically, and for keeping quiet the studio and agents rewarded her with a bountiful career. She grew into an amazing woman with a legendary career. But she never forgot, or forgave, and never got over what happened.

She never named the star actor publicly, but her friends and family knew the truth. Even after marriage and kids, if she saw this actor anywhere - she would almost convulse and cry. And worst of all, Hollywood and the world continued to honor him, pay him, and treat him like a king.

Today, he’s still alive and barely holding on. But those who know the truth are still hoping and praying he will rot in hell for eternity. That all his good deeds and donations will never mask the truth. That he WILL face justice for the lives he destroyed.

So when the time comes, and the now 95 year old Kirk Douglas, the superstar actor, finally dies, there will be tributes and honors about him. Just remember that he is a monster who never repented, apologized, nor showed any sorrow for destroying the lives of others. Especially the life of that young beloved actress named Natalie Wood.

Beaker said...

Mee mee mee mee

Himmmm said...

Think about this when you hear about him being honored by the Academy for his “moral force” in the movie community. Think about his own son who died from a drug overdose, and his own big star son who is a walking monster himself. Think of his grandson who dealt drugs and got others hooked on it too. Think about this every time you see a film starring anyone in that family.

I worked with Natalie’s daughter on a film in the late 90s. Like her mother, Natasha is an amazing woman and amazing actress who is a great person in every way.

I know a lot of you have speculated that I’m some nobody nut-case pretending to be someone else. Pretending to be a movie star when in fact I’m not. I think that’s kind of hilarious. But if you want to call Natasha and ask her the name of the male actor she co-starred with in a movie with Heather Graham, then go for it. Call her at home if you want to but be polite. Her number is: ac 310 Four Five Six Five Nine Zero Six. And remember, she’s NOT in on this so don’t blame or interrogate her.
And with that, I bid you all a warm farewell. I’m not walking away from CDAN or anything else due to fear or pressure. It’s because my work is getting neglected - I think you guys can relate! lol. I’ve had a good break lately for family reasons but things are picking up again and I must return to the real world once more. I’ve never asked for any special attention or tried to sell anything, take anyone’s money, or trolled for affection here. I’ve just offered my opinions and experiences. But it’s gotten kind of crazy when people build websites dedicated to your unmasking. (Yes, really. It’s not like I’m a masked superhero right? Didn’t Iron Man already admit his identity? Geesh!).

But seriously folks, the reason for the anonymity is not to hide and tell lies. It’s to protect me or us from repercussions. It’s so we CAN tell the truth. If what I say is a lie then I have no fear of persecution. But when it is the truth? People get nervous, defensive, and they will pursue you. Trust me.

I appreciate each of you who’ve offered your kind words and hugs. Always remember that most “celebrities” do have feelings too. Hypocritical? Perhaps. But a lot of us are real people on the inside and people’s words do matter. But when you’re a pedophile, rapist, abuser, or beat up people and animals? I think you sacrifice your right to compassion if you don’t stop, repent, and get help. Some who are troubled with drink and drugs (like me in the past) do get help. Some ignore it and think they deserve the world and refuse help. They continue hurting others.

I assure you that I am no better than any of you, and I still have problems I try to confront and correct every single day. It’s an ongoing process. Those of you who say you’re a nobody? That your life is boring? Thank God for that. I assure you that fame is not to be coveted or desired. Money is just money in the end folks, it’s what you are to other humans that really matters. There’s far more heroes as good parents, teachers, cops, therapists, volunteers, cancer survivors, nurses, and even the nice waitress who shares a smile on a hard day with a customer. You guys are heroes, not those of us playing dress up and pretend on a set all day. Be happy you can help another - that is what makes the world better, NOT an award or a swag bag.

Himmmm said...

Always remember that whatever crisis, depression, or problems you are facing in your life - it is not insurmountable. It shall pass. Nobody (especially me) is perfect, and once we accept that and stop running from the problem, we CAN fix it and it will be better. Have faith, and turn to your friends and family and you will be surprised that you’re never alone in your darkness. I wish each of you peace, happiness, and love. Whomever you are, I assure you the world is better with you in it.

I thank you all for the laughs, the snark, the warmth, and the good times here on CDAN. I especially thank you - ENTY. You deserve all the success you have my friend. I also look forward to that thing, with the people, in that place. You know (lol). Enty is a good soul, and I hope you guys realize how awesome he is to share all of this with you. He’s not perfect so don’t put him too high on a pedestal - haha. Good luck buddy.

So to each of you, our long-time pals and cohorts, be good, behave, and be cool. Keep those Blind guess skills sharp, and always mix in some humanity with your snark. Not much, but a little (lol). Take care, and I look forward to catching up with you in the future when I return back and the case is re-opened. Now? I’m off to save the world.

We don’t say goodbye, we say “see you later”.

Your friends-
Himmmm
Herrrr
Himjacker
(and Himmmm 1 -2 and 3)

The Fox said...

Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!

Delphine LaLaurie said...

BORING!!!!!


Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!


BOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG !!!!!!!!


CHOMP!~!~! CHOMP!~!~! CHOMP!~!~!


BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRIIINNNGGGGG!!!!!

Freddy Krueger said...

@Beetlejuice Don't let them do it to you, man! Have you seen what they did to me?! That Jackie Earle Haley guy is a joke!

Ghost of OG Enty said...

I would like this site remade to its former glory!!

Woooooooooooo!

Tabitha Cackle said...

The Witches of Eastwick
Charmed
Dark Shadows
Hansel and Gretel
Witches Brew
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
The Blair Witch Project

Freddy Krueger said...

Wes Craven's New Nightmare is excellent. Think of me when you watch it

Beetlejuice said...

I need the money bro, hookers are even more expensive dead.

The Fox said...

Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!

Jack S said...

What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?


Count Duckula.

Delphine LaLaurie said...

Ghost of OG Enty said...

I would like this site remade to its former glory!!

Woooooooooooo!


YES!!!!!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

CHOMP!~!~! CHOMP!~!~! CHOMP!~!~!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

Tabitha Cackle said...

What has six legs and flies?







A witch giving her cat a ride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Devil's Twerkin Merkin said...

Backdoor Farrah

Freddy Krueger said...

Hit me up. I can get you dead hookers on the cheap. You don't mind slash marks, do you?

Ghost of Songs Past said...

LOL Beetlejuice.

I want to see a remake of Rocky 3.
Where he figures there's no easy way out and has a talk with Adrian.

Rocky: I wanna be a cowboy
Adrian: All I want to do is make love to you.
Rocky: I'm moving on
Adrian: Please don't go
Rocky: It's what I am
Adrian: I need you tonight
Rocky: Bye bye bye
Adrian:Stupid boy

Beetlejuice said...

Slash marks- more holes

BRING IT ON

Devil's Twerkin Merkin said...

CDAN:starring original Enty

Heather #1 said...

Enty - are you pulling my dick with this question? I can't be remade!

Erin Keith said...

The movie is Two Girls and a Guy. Fake Himmmm is claiming to be RDJ.

Devil's Twerkin Merkin said...

Golden Girls: featuring Mimi (Rose), Mindy Cohn (Blanche), Helen Mirren (Dorothy), and Lilo as Sophia.

Delphine LaLaurie said...

RIP ORIGINAL ENTY

SNIF!!!!!!!!

NEW ENTY IS A NASTY WANNABEE CREEP

BORING!!!!!!!!

CHOMP!~!~! CHOMP!~!~! CHOMP!~!~!






Tabitha Cackle said...

Epilis Sticarum!

a said...

X-Files
House
Strange Luck
Millenium

Freddy Krueger said...

The next one that has sex in one of my movies is yours!

Merlin D. Bear said...

I swear, with God as my witness, should I ever hit the Lotto for more money than sense, I will personally finance the remake of "Bewitched" and do it justice.
Nora Ephron be damned.

Count Jerkula said...

Cum Fart Cocktails #2 was way better than #1.

Beetlejuice said...

I'll say

auntliddy said...

so Kirk is a rapist? Did not know that. Remake loved was Of mice and Men with Gary Sinese and John Malcovich. It was awesome.

CarrieGraceMoretzbetches said...

What. The. Fuck. Carrie??? Fuck you losers.

AndrewBW said...

The Godfather II was better than the original. Which is saying a lot, because the original was great.

sandybrook said...

And Godfather II was also better then Godfather III which also isn't saying much because III sucked.

Eros said...

That Natalie Wood story is just tragic!! So very very sad.

To Entys question. Nopers, not a fan of remakes.

Eros said...

You sound like an awesome human being. Even if your words were written over a year ago, they sound genuine and inspirational. Thanks for sharing your story! :)

ProfBraaaaaains said...

Worst

ProfBraaaaaains said...

Sequel

ProfBraaaaaains said...

Idea

ProfBraaaaaains said...

Ever

ProfBraaaaaains said...

Although the sequel never matches the cinematic glory of the original, I appreciated the way the honeys worked their craft on Cum Suckers 19: This Time We're Legal.

ProfBraaaaaains said...

I still admire your dedication to your craft, young, fresh Chloe. Perhaps we could do a script run through, say in the lighting trailer? You're 15, right?

Sherry said...

Exactly Eros. How many times do we have to see "A Star is Born?"

Tru Leigh said...

Room with a View.
No.
And hella no.

Eros said...

Agreed! ;)

Creepy Children said...

Trick or treat,
smell my feet,
give me something good to eat!

B. Profane said...

I want to see Wes Anderson remake Apocalypse Now.

Zombie Kid said...

I like turtles

PugsterMom said...

I would like to see a good old fashioned naive mystery series a la Murder She Wrote or Diagnosis Murder. Nothing gritty.