Friday, November 01, 2013

Off Topic

Oh good. All that Halloween candy I ate yesterday should be half off now but the stores are on to this and throw it in green and red boxes and call it Christmas candy.

38 comments:

Seven of Eleven said...

If you ate it yesterday, I imagine it's more than half off by now.

Sugar said...

this has been making me giggle all morning

VIPblonde said...

I think someone requested Viggo Mortensen last week, right?

Seven of Eleven said...

@VIP, I read yesterday that Fassbender pulled a Jon Hamm and said people should focus on his art instead of his artifact. So consider this my official request for said artifact. :b

VIPblonde said...

Slow Motion Fassbender

JSierra said...

Ryan and Eva supposedly broke up because he wanted to get married and make bebes but she just wanted to penetrate her ex.

JSierra said...

VIP I am not impressed with Viggo. It looks like a breakfast sausage.

FSP said...

why so small

FSP said...

why so small

Count Jerkula said...

@Sugar: Ugh, Joel Osteen. I hate Jesus pimps.

Count Jerkula said...

Whattaya get when you cross Tori Spelling and a gorilla?

A fugly gorilla.

How come women's gots such small feets?


So they can stand closer to the sink when doing the dishes.

What's the difference between Courtney Love and a toilet?

Toilet don't wanna cuddle after you drop a load in it

What charity was started to honor Richard Prior, Michael Jackson and Betty Shabazz?

The Ignited Negro College Fund.


How come Blake Lively wore white on her wedding day?

Ryan wanted the dishwasher to match the stove and fridge.

LiLo has 2 grams of coke. Amanda Bynes has 1/4 of weed. What does Paris Hilton have?

Herpes

What do you have when you have the Ktrash family buried up to their necks in concrete?

A shortage of concrete.


Usher is sitting in his living room when his girlfriend walks in. She says "baby, I need your AmEx so I can get a dress for the award show tomorrow." He tells her "you know what you have to do" and she groans, gets on her knees and starts sucking his dick. After a moment she picks her head up and says "this tastes like shit" Usher then tells her " that reminds me, Beiber just stopped by asking for a hit song."

Alicia said...

Baby Alicia will be here in 14 days or less. In lieu of gifts we will be accepting Makers Manhattans :)

Seven of Eleven said...

Congrats, Alicia!

car54 said...

I was just at the grocery store and the guy on the PA system was encouraging customers to stock up on leftover Halloween cakes and cookies for "Halloween Weekend".

Kelly said...

Aww, good luck and congrats @Alicia!

Amber said...

Congrats, Alicia :)

Meanie Rhysie said...

Aw! Congrats Alicia! :)

Count Jerkula said...

Aw, 14 days until one less sexy pregnant woman. :(

I guess they gotta come out sometime.

Congrats Alicia!

Sugar said...

It's still hilarious. The comments are what put it over the top.

Beetlejuice said...

Congrats!!!!!

Del Riser said...

Happy Baby to you Alicia!

I screwed up on Halloween candy, I bought peanut M&M's, and had to ask every group of kids and their parents if there were any peanut allergies. There was one, and luckily I had a back up of full size rolls of life savers.

Reese said...

I am in a new neighborhood this year, and there are plenty of children living in the area. I spent $30 on Halloween candy and my doorbell didn't ring once. I'll still have little Snickers bars and packages of M&Ms around the house next Easter.

JSierra said...

Yay baby! Congrats, I hope all goes well!

Reese my neighborhood is overflowing with kids and the doorbell didn't ring once past 8, so we too have a giant cauldron filled with leftover candy. Idk what the deal is but I resent all those no show kiddos because now I am going to have to eat all the candy.

Seven of Eleven said...

@JSierra, we live in a neighborhood with a lot of kids and we got maybe 10 or 15 trick or treaters. Weather was fine, lights were on, we've always had plenty of trick or treaters. Something was up last night! Full bowl of candy here, too.

Sherry said...

Count these two are the best:
LiLo has 2 grams of coke. Amanda Bynes has 1/4 of weed. What does Paris Hilton have?

Herpes

What do you have when you have the Ktrash family buried up to their necks in concrete?

A shortage of concrete.

And congrats Alicia!!!

Ms Cool said...

Congratulations, Alicia!

Karrots said...

Alicia -

Baby Karrots is due Nov 18, best of luck to you and congrats!

TalksTooMuch said...

I think I saw it all during the Eastern Promises knife fight. Love a guy who commits fully (Monty) to a role!

Kelly said...

@Karrots Congrats and best of luck to you too!!!

__-__=__ said...

Congrats Alicia and Karrots!!

Sad Eva has another failed relationship. Glad Courtney gets away from Doug! Hope she grows up and does well. She hasn't had much of a chance so far.

Alicia said...

Yay baby Karrots! Our burrito is due the 18th as well but my dr is leaving town that day so she's inducing the 14th! Happy baby and birthing to your family:)

Tru Leigh said...

My father used to save the left over Halloween candy for the next year.

SophiaB said...

Wooooo! Welcome BabyA! Good luck and congrats Alicia. You have done amazing things with your life and I wish you ALL THE BEST-a joyful birth experience and the best baby ever.

SophiaB said...

Yay! It's raining babies! Best to you too Karrots.

EGB said...

Been thinking about you, girl! All my best for these next two weeks and new baby A!

Harry Knuckles said...
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Harry Knuckles said...
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Harry Knuckles said...
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