Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Tori Spelling Really Wants You To Buy Her Book

If you are looking for something horrific to watch on television this week just tune into that Tori Spelling sit down interview with Giuliana. Apparently lighting went over budget and it still isn't enough to stop you wanting to run from your living room sofa and flee to save your significant other and kids. Put away the pets too. I found it was ok if I just closed my eyes and went to my happy place.

Tori is doing every thing she can to sell her new book. She spills something new from it almost every day and when she was writing it must have had a littler cheat sheet with check boxes that needed to be completed before the book was really a tell all.

Lets go over the things she has said this week.

1. She is too poor for a vasectomy for Dean. It is a lie but she wants you to think she is broke because it made you sympathetic to her once before and gave her a second chance at a career. Think back to her garage sale and whining about how she blew threw her millions.

2. She trashed a popular celebrity. She let the world know what she thinks of Katie Holmes. It is a name that will draw a lot of attention without really causing any damage to Tori because Tori is not going to be up for any parts that will see her on a set with Katie. Plus it also did show that at one point at least Tori considered them on an equal playing field when it comes to acting and implies that Katie is a horrible person while Tori is nothing but unicorns and sunshine.

3. Sex tape. No Hollywood story is complete without a good sex tape story. Tori is no different. Filling our mins with images of her actually naked and having sex with Dean Tori says the couple made a sex tape that was purely for their own pleasure. Well, it sure wasn't going to bring pleasure to any one else. I thought the idea of a sex tape was to stimulate and arouse. Not content to just check that box on her list Tori also went for the subcategory of tape was stolen and copied. She knows there probably isn't a tape out there so she made sure to say it was a friend who copied the sex tape and that Tori was rightfully horrified but because it was a friend no tape will actually ever surface to frighten the world at large.

29 comments:

Henriette said...

She is so unfortunate looking.

Cleodacat said...

@Henriette, I can't believe how much she's spent on plastic surgery with those looks.

Meanie Rhysie said...

I admit: I did not read this whole thing: I was stopped dead in my tracks at Tori being interviewed by Guiliana-wtfever-her-name-is...

Are there any 2 more unfortunate looking people?!

God, I'm mean.

Kelly said...

LMAO @MeanieReese

Henriette said...

@Cleodacat
Her boobs are even worse than her face. I'm glad she is covering them up because they are downright scary.

I remember in one of her books she said she was hurt by her exboyfriend Nick Savalas (Telly's kid) telling her she was fug. He was actually being nice.

Henriette said...

Guilina Rancid looks like a praying mantis. I guess they can both talk about eating air instead of food.

a non a miss said...

I already know more about Tori Spelling than I ever wished to learn.

tara17 said...

I don't follow her career but I'm fond of her from 90210. Although she has rich people problems, I think it sucks her father was so wealthy and left her so little.

Henriette said...

She was in the best titled Lifetime movie, Mother May I Sleep with Danger.

Murphy said...

Tomorrow she'll be going to rehab

Orvilla Bedinbacher said...

BORinnnng!

MISCH said...

She should beg her mom for money and leave us be…

Glitter said...

She needs a makeover by someone that does not hate her. Her hair color and lipstick are too harsh for her coloring. Someone please help her. Then, she needs to try to get some gigs on the Hallmark Channel.

audrey said...

Nothing is going to make me want to buy this book. She can go ahead and reveal whatever she wants about the contents--I am still not going to shell out my hard earned cash to read it.

AJ said...

Tori's wonky boobs just make me want to cry.
How could she go through life without getting them fixed when she had the means to ? Does she like them that way ? Is there no fixing a dent in one's boob ?

auntliddy said...

i dont mind Tori. She's only trying to make a living. Who knows what expenses she has? Who cares? Buy the book, dont buy it, world still keeps turning.
And ITA with glitter, she is presenting herself in the most unflattering fashion and makeup sense ever. Please update. look at pics of y ou with dark hair- and you had alot of it- you looked pretty. Try something new!

Seven of Eleven said...

@Meanie, sigh, me too. Never thought I'd wear pink on a Wednesday but here I am...

I love MichaelK calling her books "mem-whys".

Unknown said...

At least she isn't a drugged up alcoholic like many of here peers. She seems to be a good mother. Haven't heard gossip otherwise. It could be a lot worse. I'm also assuming if things got too bad for her then Candy would break down and get her help.

Seven of Eleven said...

@texas rose, I don't know. Candy seems like the sort who would take full advantage of the situation and try to get custody of Tori's kids (to be raised by a small army of nannies, of course). I know Tori's no saint, but Candy is stone cold.

Unknown said...

Seven - I really don't know much about Candy except that she is loaded.

ladybaus said...

I am willing to chip in for Deans vasectomy in order for them to no longer pro-create. Is there not a kickstarter account for this already? Is there no longer any human decency? I mean Tori has had to use the same chanel bag for 3 years!

Topper Madison said...

I really have nothing against her except her penchant for over-sharing. However, that seems to be the motus operandi of all reality show people these days, so meh.

Unknown said...

A Tori Spelling Sex Tape?! I just had a spontaneous vasectomy at the mere thought of this...

Seven of Eleven said...

@QueenAnne Guido!!

HannahBanana said...

Bright red lipstick + yellow, black & white dress= NO just no.

NaughtyNurse said...

Doesn't she have ANY friends who will tell her to stop with that horrid hair color and style???? That style can only be pulled off by five year old girls.

Anonymous said...

what happened to her eyebrows???? thats all i could think during her interview

Alita said...

@audrey

I'm fairly confident that goes for everyone here. I think it's one of those 'correct me if I'm wrong but ...' statements.

Don't worry, don't justify, you're amongst friends.

Alita said...

I like the wonk-dent, makes me nostalgic for the Beverley Hills 90210 reruns I grew up on.

DON'T LISTEN TO IT DONNA, YOUR TITS PWN!#1!!

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