Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Jennifer Love Hewitt Has Moved On To Bracelets


I love Jennifer Love Hewitt. No, not the kind of love where I would ever want to be with her. I mean come on. Would you want to be with someone who has been with Jamie Kennedy and probably has sex with him and then goes and sleeps in her mom's bed? No, I mean the kind of love that I have for all celebrities who constantly try and stay the center of attention and therefore always are saying things which sound utterly ridiculous when viewed from outside their own little mirror facing world.

As you may or may not recall, J Love had a habit where she would get together with her guy of the week, fall madly in love and buy the guy a ring from Cartier and treating it like a promise ring. Then they would go home, he would wrap himself in four or five condoms and they would have some, umm bedroom time and then watch old reruns of Jennifer on Party Of Five while she told whatever guy she was with how wonderful she was and how the rest of the cast sucked which is why she left before the show ended.

Well, now that the ring story has received such heavy play, Jennifer has come up with a new trick. According to The Chicago Sun Times,which has a great gossip column by the way, but maybe is not wise to the ways of J Love, the happy couple of Jennifer and Jamie bought themselves love bracelets. Awwww. Jennifer finally got a gift for herself. I hope they are the most atrocious looking things ever and that Jamie Kennedy looks like a tool wearing his. God I would love if they were hot pink or something with little flowers. Priceless.

Anyway, the story also said they were shopping for engagement ring for Jennifer which considering her collection might not be a bad idea. I mean if you are going to keep getting rings you might as well try and go for the whole ten fingers. Let me know when someone actually gets her down the aisle.

15 comments:

mooshki said...

OMG, "love bracelets" reminds me of the "love fern" from How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Um, J.Love, that's an example of what not to do in a relationship!

Enty, can't you get Scott Wolf to write a Party O' Five tell-all for the blog? We promise we won't tell anyone else!

shakey said...

I wonder if she has a display case in her home of moulds made of her ring finger to display each ring, and a little plaque below it with the name of the fiancé who gave it to her.

Maybe a room. "This is my ring room". Small red velvet seat in the centre of a dark-toned room. Muted lighting, with the brightest light for the display, of course. A room for contemplation.

Geez, I'm not even high and I'm coming up with this shit.

Anonymous said...

lol@shakey

Where does she get these ideas with the love rings and now the love bracelets lol. Sounds like a childish little kid.

GladysKravitz said...

I don't think it's a matter of someone getting her down the aisle. I think it's the guys who can't bring themselves to walk down the aisle with her. Imagine living with that the rest of your life!

Oh and right now I'm bitter that she has the option of getting married. After today's CA Supreme Court ruling, many people do not.

Linnea said...

wow... i want to see jamie in his!

jax said...

well fuck them Gladys!

Anonymous said...

Yeah fuck that Prop 8 ruling. I'm just glad that the lesbian couple I know that got married during that time will still be considered legally married. It was be atrocious (more so than it already is) if they were not.

M. said...

Actually, proper etiquette dictates that if you are engaged and never make it down the aisle, you are supposed to return the engagement ring to the man who gave it to you...

Pookie said...

i don't get the j. love hate, i really don't. i think she's pretty harmless when compared to TRUE douche queens like goopy. what i don't get tho, is why she's so desperate to get married? i think it's a little sad.

Emobacca said...

Hewitt is a shining example of why girls with Daddy Issues should be avoided at all costs

ardleighstreet said...

It could be worse then bracelets. Matching tiaras that light up pink and play some sickening song from say AIR SUPPLY.

Allison said...

Proper etiquette is you return the ring if you are the one to call off the wedding. If the guy ends it, the woman keeps the ring, unless it was a family heirloom from the guy's side.

bionic bunny! said...

actually, the LAW is that the ring is returned. at least in the states.

and the state of california SO sucks. it's just so sad, i couldn't even bother to get dressed today (NO, i'm NOT NEKKID, although that would be excellent protest).
at least they weren't assinine enough to disolve the marriages already sealed, like they tried to do last time.

mooshki said...

J.Love is the one buying the rings, not the guys, so she probably gets to keep them after she dumps them.

Pookie, I don't think it's "hate" - I still like her a lot in some ways, but she does treat her men like dirt. :)

Bunny, next time Prop 8 is up for review, I think we should all get NEKKID to protest. That'd show 'em! :)

bionic bunny! said...

*sigh* i've tried that tactic before. unfortunately it usually results in things like "mistrials", "boating accidents", seizures in the eldery and very young, and, um, visits by either the life guard or coast guard.
somehow, i'm just not THE nekkid girl you want at your party.

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