Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Neil Patrick Harris Holding Off On Marriage


You know, I am beginning to think that Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka might be on the outs. Yes, they are still together and still going to events together. But there have been some whispers and when you read things like Neil said in Details Magazine it kind of makes you think there is no future. The magazine asked him whether he planned on getting married soon. Seems like a yes or no answer. First words out of his mouth? "It's complicated." That is also code for hanging by a thread.


He then spends a paragraph basically saying it is because he does not want to be the face of gay marriage and does not want to do it for publicity and does not want a camera crew there and a bunch of excuses. When heterosexuals don't want to marry they have excuses too. These are novel excuses, but that is what they are. If you want to get married quietly you can do it. Granted they could be happy living together forever, but I see something else on the horizon. A break up.

28 comments:

chopchop said...

It is possible to have a private life in Hollywood. Look at Sascha Baron Cohen & Isla Fisher, for one.

BigMama said...

I hope not, they are adorable together

Maja With a J said...

I hope they make it, especially now that they have kids together. Not that anyone should stay together just for the kids...but you know what I mean...:)

ForSure said...

They have a bi-coastal relationship, its not surprising that there could be difficulties for them. David is New York, NPH is LA and New Mexico. I think David could be equally successful in LA, but I can understand that it would be very hard for him to give up his roots in NYC. I hope they stay together.

I do remember when marriage became legal in NY, NPH had to issue statement after statement to clarify that he and David had already been engaged with rings and everything for years, they didn't just get engaged that night. He was already forced into the position of being the face of gay marriage once, I can see how he would want to avoid it again.

Susan said...

I support couples who get married or don't get married. It's so their own choice. Didn't these two adopt children in the past year? Perhaps they should have come to this decision before bringing children into the mix.

I totally support gay marriage. Just because you get hitched, Neil Patrick Harris, does not mean you're going to be the poster couple for gay marriage. It doesn't need to be an E! Special or anything.

My husband and I have been to 2 gay marriages in the past few years. We totally support gay marriage, but each time we've gone to the wonderful ceremonies, we get lectured about.... Gay Marriage by the cermony officiant. Obviously, if you are a part of the celebration, you support the cause. Just irks me that a ceremony that is supposed to celebrate love often turns into a political spiel.

WBotW said...

Is it sad and pathetic that I would be absolutely devastated if these two split?

BrandieMarie said...

i hope not. this would make me so sad.

but at the same time Enty is right, they could marry quietly and no one would know. NPH does a good job of staying out of the tabloids other than the occasional out and about pictures which are normal.

RocketQueen said...

Gotta say, Susan - I disagree that marriage should be a pre-requisite for having children. Sometimes people just don't want to get married. And sometimes relationships don't work out - with or without children.

Regardless, I hope they can work it out. He would hardly be the face of gay marriage...I would say Portia/Ellen and Elton/hispartnerwhosenameescapesme! have that sewn up :)

Anonymous said...

@RQ: I was JUST going to post I think Ellen/Portia have that gig already ;o)

Jasmine said...

ITA Enty- gay or straight if there are a slew of excuses or reasons people provide when asked when/if they are getting married then perhaps marriage just isnt something they want to do but are retisant to admit that (or are on the cusp of breaking up like you pointed out here).

While I understand he doesnt want to 'be the face of gay marriage' or whatever I still think this is a lame excuse to not get married to the person you supposedly love.

If you dont think marriage is for you, that's obviously fine, it's not for everyone. But to hide behind the banner of gay marriage as if this is the reason just puts more negative connotation asssociated with gay marriage and seems ass backwards in regards to gay rights in general. but whatev- I'm not going to judge him too harshly for this- just glad he is one in an emerging number of gay actors who are brave enough to come out. He will always get a high five from me for that.

Susan said...

RQ - I don't think marriage is a prerequisite for having children. I was referring to NPH and his bf ending their relationship, which Enty's post alludes to. Sorry for the confusion.

RenoBlondee said...

I hope they last too, but am with all that said he's using that as an excuse.

Texshan said...

He and David have their own reasons for getting married or not, and that's between them, obviously. But I think when people give kind of lame reasons for not getting married, like NPH here, and Brad and Angie's "we're not getting married until everyone can," it's just to avoid saying, "we don't want to get married." There is still this pressure in society to get married, have kids, follow the "normal" script. As a militantly single woman, I have had no problem telling people for the past 20 years that I am never, ever getting married, and that's it. I know it's not fair to judge others by my own experiences, but I think when you make excuses rather than answer honestly, you are doing your own feelings and actions a disservice. Just my two cents.

Megley said...

And don't forget: he was outed. It forced his hand on coming out on his own.

BrandieMarie said...

@TexShan - I see what point you are trying to make, but I don't think we should expect honesty from these people because they don't know us. In our day to day lives its different, and who knows, they may be honest with the people close to them and say "we don't want to get married" or "we are having problems and have put it off" or "we are scared of divorcing so its easier to not marry". The problem is the public/media acts like they owe it to us to explain themselves so then sometimes, what they do say in trying to appease the public and keep a certain level of privacy at the same time, then comes off as bumbling excuses.

But, my point is no, I don't think they should be honest unless they WANT to be honest. I know I wouldn't be honest with perfect strangers. Its not their business. And with all the babies before marriage, adult children living at home well into their 20s, gay couples with children, going to college AFTER marriage a children, at least where I live, there is no "normal" track people expect you to be on.

RocketQueen said...

@Susan - gotcha ;)

Texshan said...

Good points, Bnl. But I do still think that people give you the side-eye if you aren't interested in following the marriage-kids-family script. I get it all of the time. I'm 42 and had my uterus nuked seven years ago so I could finally do away with painful, horrible periods, and I STILL get lots of "oh, you'll change your mind someday" comments from people. For some reason, everyone feels like they have the right to tell you that you don't really know what you want when it comes to these decisions. It's extremely annoying.

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

Wait, NPH lives part-time in New Mexico? WHY?

lunabelle said...

I was totally clueless how horribly invasive and intimate questions like "when are you getting married" and "when are you having kids" are when you are in a committed relationship.
It seems like a natural question because of "the script" that many people do assume should be followed.
What we, they etc don't take into consideration are the complications such as infertility, religious beliefs, political beliefs, crazy family members etc. All things that many don't consider but should delve deep into before committing for life.
Many don't commit for life so it is no biggie, they will just divorce but some peole take marriage seriously and I think "it's complicated" is a valid answer basically saying there is stuff going on you have no idea about and i am not going to talk about it.

kathy said...

I hope they make it as a couple, whether married or not. BTW, they were hysterical in "Harold & Kumar's 3D Christmas."

Robert said...

Ellen DeGeneres: "'Ellen, when are you going to get married?' 'I don't know, Grandma, when are you going to fall and break your hip?'"

mooshki said...

Kathy, I loved their scene together! It was so funny!

Tatyana said...

I actually take this post as a good omen for the NPH-Gupka relationship, since when "Enty" starts pontificating, he usually ends up flat up wrong.

Basil said...

Neil is actually right when he says "It's complicated". It is! Sure he could get married in New York, but he lives in California, where it isn't considered legal. Or New Mexico for that matter. So for those two guys to decide to get married involves a lot more thought than say going to Vegas to get hitched. And if you think Gay Marriage is complicated, Gay Divorce is even worse.

braverwoman said...

Amen Basil, An filing income tax is also a nightmare. State and federal are two completely different procedures depending upon your marital status and if you own community property... It's a huge headache.

Texshan said...

Smoke & Mirrors, NPH was born in New Mexico, loves it, and still lives there part of the year.

Lelaina Pierce said...

Thanks, I was wondering the same!

@Megley - Very true!

I hope they make it too but maybe they are waiting for changes in Cali first?

TomHRamirez said...

Not every gay couple wants to get married. Or one may and the other may not. I can why this issue of gay marriage could be complicated, particularly with such a high profile celebrity.

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