Tuesday, August 28, 2012

What Happens When BIC Makes Pens Just For Women


I don't know who the person was over at BIC who decided that women needed their own pens and that pens made for men just were not going to work. That person might not have a job anymore. Of course, considering the amount of publicity these reviews of the pens are getting on Amazon, maybe it was all part of the plan. Naaah. They are fired. The two reviews below are some of the 400+ reviews. Seriously, they will make your work day fly right by. For all of the reviews, click here.


413 of 416 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I am writing this in the kitchen. August 15, 2012
By breemeup
Finally! For years I've had to rely on pencils, or at worst, a twig and some drops of my feminine blood to write down recipes (the only thing a lady should be writing ever). I had despaired of ever being able to write down said recipes in a permanent matter, though my men-folk assured me that I "shouldn't worry yer pretty little head". But, AT LAST! Bic, the great liberator, has released a womanly pen that my gentle baby hands can use without fear of unlady-like callouses and bruises. Thank you, Bic!

301 of 303 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars FINALLY! August 24, 2012
By Tracy Hamilton
Someone has answered my gentle prayers and FINALLY designed a pen that I can use all month long! I use it when I'm swimming, riding a horse, walking on the beach and doing yoga. It's comfortable, leak-proof, non-slip and it makes me feel so feminine and pretty! Since I've begun using these pens, men have found me more attractive and approchable. It has given me soft skin and manageable hair and it has really given me the self-esteem I needed to start a book club and flirt with the bag-boy at my local market. My drawings of kittens and ponies have improved, and now that I'm writing my last name hyphenated with the Robert Pattinson's last name, I really believe he may some day marry me! I'm positively giddy. Those smart men in marketing have come up with a pen that my lady parts can really identify with.

Where has this pen been all my life???

64 comments:

Anonymous said...

HYSTERICAL!!!!

rhinovodka said...

I have a pen fetish but not for Bic pens.

EmEyeKay said...

Bad, Bic, bad.

Jeeeezus. Who thought this was a good idea?

lazyday603 said...

It's like that Dr Pepper 10 (Tagline: Not for Women). What's in a soda pop made only for men? Extract of Testosterone? Those commercials annoy me to no end. That and erectile dysfunction medicine ads. What happened to beer, chips & pickup truck ads during football games?

Beth said...

If they had just put these out as pastel-colored pens, no one would have noticed. Even if this is a fuck up, it's marketing genius.

For better or worse, we are all talking about BIC. How often do we discuss pens otherwise?

a non a miss said...

I love sarcasm.

Frufra said...

@lazyday - thank you! Those erectile dysfunction commercials make me want to Elvis my TV!! Not really, we love our TV, but, I have had it with those spots. We watch baseball every night (go Texas Rangers), and apparently it's me, Mr. Frufra, and a bunch of old men that comprise the entire viewing audience.

ENOUGH - WE GET IT. YOU CAN GIVE AN OLD MAN A FOUR HOUR BONER.

Sorry for the yelling, but damn, that felt good :-)

P.S. - I really came here to say those pen reviews made me laugh!

katsm0711 said...

Omfg I'm crying and snotting!! Now off to those 400 Amazon reviews!

IDoTheRobot said...

I needed this today!

pilly said...

Love it

Roman Holiday said...

Too funny!!!!

BerniniBellini said...

I just have to have this because I write so prettily and femininly. Those My Little Pony pens are waht I have been looking for all my life. Now my writing is sure to be pink and sparkly. Geez, Bic, who thought this one up?

VIPblonde said...

@Frufra - ITA! I was a teenager when those Viagra ads first started airing. It was so mortifying to be eating dinner with my parents while watching the 6:00 news, and have old men start talking about boners! (everything is more mortifying at that age)

Comma Chaser said...

This is funny. Embarrassing too, since I wrote a review on amazon.com for a fountain pen that I absolutely love.

These reviews are hilarious, in re: Bic's attempt to tap into the bizarre Stepford/Hello Kitty market, as evidenced by this product.

Oh yeah, I'm buying a dozen of these at lunch today. Now I can sign my letters in neon pink! With little hearts above the Is in my name!

nolachickee said...

So they're in pastels, so that makes the pens "for Her"? I hope that the moron who came up with this is no longer marketing for Bic. I'm both offended and wondering how someone that damn lame got that job in the first place.

katsm0711 said...

Thank u Enty for this bc I was seriously having The kind of miserable day where I'm trying not to cry about an ongoing problem but now I laughed so hard I'm crying happy tears :) so I click on amazon. The 1st favorable review is titled "I am writing this in the kitchen." critical review is "CAREFUL BOYS" thank you. Really. :)

smash said...

Hilarious! Love a good amazon review. The 50gallon drum of lube reviews are gold as well!

katsm0711 said...

Just wait until Jezebel hears about this!

Coriander Shea said...

Oh Bic. I bet youre probably wishing right about now that you had just gone with calling them "Pastels".

Hammer_Girl said...

I wonder if they vibrate?

Jolene Jolene said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA

strongerthancoffee said...

Remember to change regularly. Possible risk of toxic shock syndrome.

Cathy said...

I'm not defending this, because it is a seriously horrible terrible product idea, but I can understand why Bic did this. Basically, every consumer packaged goods manufacturer is fighting for more shelf space at retailers. One of the easiest ways to get additional shelf space is to introduce a variation on an existing product (different size, color, flavor, etc.) and argue that it fulfills an additional consumer need. So I think that this is what they were doing, but if they had done adequate market research, they would have found that a pen made specifically for women is not a need that actually exists.

Agent**It said...

"it makes me feel so feminine and pretty" - priceless.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sherry said...

Why, why, why? But these people who write these snarky reviews are truly my hero's. They make like worth living.

Sarah said...

That's gave me a good laugh! Thanks

MissMarie said...

To call it a pen for 'her' was absolute silliness. If they are as comfortable as they look in the picture, I might like them, despite the label. As a writer, I am always looking for a pen that's comfortable. Bic pens rarely are.

Maja With a J said...

Haha! I want to be friends with the people who wrote these reviews!

Unknown said...

Ugh wrong buttons. Anyway, this one particularly cracked me up:

"I see this comes in a sleek design. But as a "full-figured" woman, do these pens come in "curvy and carefree"? "

Anotheramy said...

Check out http://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements-12027-Horse-Head-Mask/dp/B003G4IM4S


There are also reviews for a gallon of milk and a can uranium ore and a three wolf moon shirt worth reading.

Del Riser said...

I love pens! I prefer real fountain pens, if I go cheap, it must be a gel pen, they are fabulous. BIC pushed it a little too far this time, but the reviews are priceless.

A VP at my company had a secretary order a box of purple Sharpies, instead got a case of them. He began to sign all of his correspondence in purple sharpie, I thought that was great of him.

trouble bubble said...

It reminds me of times when mobiles for women were made. They were pink or red with sparkles and you could record your periods with them. And they also reminded you to take your pill. I am not sure whether there was a mirror attached...

Anonymous said...

@Cathy-Manufacturers don't compete for shelf space-They pay for it.

That's why name brand stuff is at eye level and the cheaper products at shin level. This is a result of internal company politics-someone trying to make a name for themselves (which they did).

The Peter Principle in action.

Momster said...

The shirt with the wolves and the moon has always had priceless reviews. But these are pretty damn funny.

bobbi_1025 said...
I wonder if they vibrate?

That made me laugh out loud, for reals.

timebob said...

I love Amazon reviews people are so creative when silly things are being sold. The gallon of milk is a great one as mentioned above.

There must be a community of comedy amazon reviewers who all try to one up each other.

Coriander Shea said...

@Anotheramy The review for the gallon of milk was actually posted by my best friend, Catherine Swinford. :) She told me that she wrote it while flying from one place to another in WoW. She's a Faery artist too, like myself!

Here's the Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal. review.....just another reason why you should go soy. ;)

http://www.amazon.com/review/RKT07YYORZMZE/ref=cm_cd_pg_oldest?ie=UTF8&cdForum=Fx3I7GSFDXWO1CC&cdPage=1&asin=B00032G1S0&store=grocery&cdSort=newest&cdThread=Tx30H4DWHJJE6QR#wasThisHelpful

Here's her website. I thought she may have had a separate one specifically for her writing, but I'm not sure what it is...

http://inthestillwood.com/

......I wonder if I can get her to write another for these silly Bic pens? *flutters off to do some convincing*

Popnursing said...

Well, I just followed the link and there's only 1 left in stock...

Mango said...

Those reviews are hilarious! Reminds me of all the gut-busting reviews on Foodnetwork.com for Paula Deen's recipe for English Peas (1/2 stick butter and TWO CANS of English peas) - the reviews were frickin' mocking and hysterical... and then Foodnetwork deleted most of them. Party poopers!

Momster said...

@ Mango, I wish I'd seen that. I dislike Deen with a passion. I'm surprised if she still has any followers, they'd be dead from clotted arteries.

Texshan said...

I don't give a crap what color a pen is. I judge it by the content of its character.

Seriously, though, I'm a lefty. If they would just develop a pen that didn't frickin' smear ink all over the paper and the side of my hand, I would be super excited.

nova said...

Whoa, I did not realize until this moment that all normal pens are Man Pens. Explains the shape I guess.

Eeekalicious said...

Silly as the concept is, I like the colours....

Bleu said...

I know, Tuxedo Cat. I'll probably buy them.

mynerva said...

@Texshan - I hear ya, it's so hard to get nice ink pens when you're left handed. My writing is completely illegible with a ballpoint so I have to use ink pens.

Have you tried Pilot V7 pens? They are the only pens I write with. I get no paper smudges and just a small bit of ink on my hand. I'd definitely recommend you try them.

Texshan said...

Thanks for the tip, Mynerva! I will have to get our office manager to order some of the Pilot V7 pens. I am so tired of smearing ink everywhere and constantly having ink up the side of my hand. I actually have nice penmanship, but the smeary ink ruins every card and note, etc., I write.

Eeekalicious said...

@Amy....Same Here...

Amy in MI said...

I'm with ya Texshan... It sucks :(

BondGirl said...

LMAO. This reminds me of the reviews for the Three Wolf Shirt on Amazon. Brilliant! No one should be getting fired for this. This is marketing at its best. Think about it -- when was the last time you saw a commercial or advertisement for PENS? So what's the best way to market such an uneventful product? Word of mouth. Hence, Bic Pens for Her. In pastels no less...

car54 said...

Amazon reviewers are the best when they get going. Any time you are bored, start poking around--there are some very funny people over there.

I am a sucker for a cool pen. My current new fave is the fine point clickable sharpie.

anita_mark said...

Lefty love!!!! I'm also a lefty and I love Pilot pens almost as much as I love kittens and sea otters. My work supplies the basic ones but for home, I use the Pilot Hi-tecpoint V5 Grip. On the side, I write guides for a website and I like to handwrite a lot of it and those pens are my favourite. I'm also fussy about paper.

As for Amazon reviews, look up Snooki's book and read some of those reviews. Hilarious! I too love sarcasm.

WUWT? said...

You know these pens are strong enough for a man...but MADE for a woman!

(I hope enough of you are old enough to know the reference.)

Hazeldazel said...

Oh gawd, this is so brilliant! I lurve the reviews of the Gallon of Milk and the Three Wolf Shirt too. I read them whenever I need a good laugh!

WUWT? said...

I'm also waiting for a pen that goes beyong male/female to a universal issue. How about a "middle age crisis" pen? "So tired of being so predictable with blue or black ink? Shock your neighbors, worry your family, and have the time of your life with these [somehow different] ink pens!"

Sunny said...

@WUWT
That was awesome. I need a middle-aged pen as well. It's about as wild as I get these days :)

Anonymous said...

Does this mean that the pens are ribbed for my pleasure?

Unknown said...

Oh my! I too am a big fan of sarcasm..thanks for a great laugh. When I saw the picture of them I thought hmmm they sure look like tampons lol

Unknown said...

Oh my! I too am a big fan of sarcasm..thanks for a great laugh. When I saw the picture of them I thought hmmm they sure look like tampons lol

WUWT? said...

I looked at the Amazon page. Spacing makes a big difference.

BIC Cristal
For Her Ball
Pen

WHAT kind of pens are these?

WUWT? said...

^^And in other suggestions, what is a For Her Retractable Ball pen?

HoneyRiot said...

Those were so hilarious! The "For her" stuff is awful. I'm so sick of seeing it and stuff like it. I once saw pink power tools and I just about lost it.

heatherlynn said...

I just saw a bic for her commercial as I was reading this.....

Henriette said...

Bic execs were smoking crack when they came up with this idea!

I totally don't get erectile dysfunction ads. Especially the one where they somehow end up with a tub on the beach or in their backyard. My hubs would have a hernia if he tried that.

Coriander Shea said...

Here's another. It's a little long but sarcastic as hell! :)

http://www.amazon.com/review/R2LPX9X8MKNXDB

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