Thursday, June 06, 2013

The Canyons Gets A Release Date

I know what you do every night. You come home from a long day at the office, enjoy the one brief second of quiet you have, while you change your clothes, locked in your bedroom before facing the rest of your family and making dinner and getting the kids fed and bathed and homeworked (?) and in bed before you get a brief moment to yourself. At that point you scour the internet hoping to see if there is a release date for The Canyons. Today is your lucky day. If you happen to live in NYC or LA you can see it on August 2nd. If you live in other parts of the country, you might have a chance to see it August 9th. Probably not going to last much beyond that weekend, so if you are a James Deen fan or really want to worship at the feet of Lindsay Lohan by coughing up your hard earned dough, then this is your chance.

28 comments:

LottaColada said...

I can hardly contain my eagerness to see it.

Count Jerkula said...

I bet it makes less money in theaters than Beer League did.

Anonymous said...

I'll watch probably the first three minutes when it goes up on youtube. Who knows? Maybe it will be the last film she'll ever make? I always wonder that with her, is this the last we will see of her?

sandybrook said...

I thought it was going straight to the discount DVD bin at WalMart.

Cleodacat said...

@Sandy, I think Wal-Mart is too classy to carry it

libby said...

Maybe Lilo will finally get that Oscar for best make-up.

Brenda L said...

@anna nomys - there will always be some jerk somewhere to give her a job, hoping deep down inside to be listed as "Lindsay's last job"

timebob said...

but the question is, is this going to on demand on the movie on demand or spice on demand channel?

But I am in NYC if it isn't playing in some ratty movie theater. I will try and take one for the team and see it. Hopefully will be able to send Enty a review if he wants to post it.

Charlotte. said...

The car crash factor will be pretty much the entire sales, right? A few hardcore fans of Deen, maybe.

J Sara said...

It sucks - every time I see james deen now - i dont see giant peen - alll I think of is that he's been inside farrah's ass.

Gayeld said...

@Timebob. You're a better man than I, Gunga Din. *saluting*

DewieTheBear said...

I just hope Lindsay's coughing scenes are followed by flashbacks to her life growing up in a whorehouse.

Oh wait, that's Mad Men.

Sass71 said...

+1, @Dewie

Seachica said...

Well, at least one person is counting down the days. Michael Lohan is probably creaming his pants right now.

MISCH said...

forgot all about this

libby said...

OT to Dewie, or any Mad Men fan...

I just finished Season 4. Why did he call what he did 'desertion' when he was freaking out about the government background check.....No matter whose identity he took, he was still wounded and honorably discharged, right? Is that really 'desertion'? Definitely a crime, but that was weird.

I find it so frustrating when 10 seconds of dialogue could solve ALL the tension in a storyline! Why can't he just tell the close friends who find out, that he just wanted his awful family to think he's dead. Big whoop, no whorehouse admission required.

Count Jerkula said...

@J Sara: Come on, the BackDoor Teen Whore likely isn't in the Top 20 messes that Deen has boned.

I give you exhibit A:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MP9V9FapCOE

YouTube, so SFW, only thing off color about it is she speaks about her recent gangbang scene.

Anotheramy said...

James Deen fan, I refuse to think about the places hes been.

Count Jerkula said...

Well, lets just put it this way: IAFD.com lists him as being in 1435 titles, lord only knows how many of those he was in multiple scenes, and scenes with multiple chicks.

That # is only DVD work. Add to it the # of web only scenes he was in and you probably come up with over 2000.

And the funny thing is, all of that unprotected whore boning, and he's still probably cleaner than a dude at a bar at 2AM, because he has been tested every 30 days since 2004.

trainrides said...

James Deen is sooo "doable."

__-__=__ said...

Count - and also cleaner than many, many teens. Sad world.

stigs84 said...

@timebob Haha Spice On Demand. Does the Spice Channel still exist? I didn't think it did. What a 90's staple, scrambled porn

Char said...

Wait, this movie isn't going straight to DVD??!!

MadamChef said...

James Deen is hot & sports a presentable pecker but sheet time? No way. Visit his blog, manho makes Count Jerkula look like Forrest Gump.

Now, Xander Corvus yum. Kinda hipster, sexy voice, impressive package. Super nice to his fans, though he does brag "I'm a Satanist!" a little much.

Count Jerkula said...

@MadamChef: I accept that, if I can get some pre-HIV Jenny.

feraltart said...

Mayor timebob, I bow to you for your upcoming sacrifice. Maybe you could pick a cinema & have a CDan viewing gathering, that way you can share the burden and have some drinking buddies for your PTSD.

PJJ said...

That was my exact reaction

April Walsh said...

I'll wait and see if Rifftrax does a track on it. It's the healthiest way to digest awful movies.

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