Thursday, March 20, 2008

Let's Talk Baby Photos


Originally I was just going to put the People cover shot of Jennifer Lopez and her twins in the Random Photos portion of the blog, but then I couldn't find anything to write about so thought I would go off on baby photos for a minute.

First of all I'm just taking a wild ass guess here, but for however long it took the photographers to take the photos is probably the longest that Jennifer has held her kids, especially now that she has an extra $6M burning a hole in her pocket. Hell, with that kind of money she and Skeletor can go ahead and finance at least another awful album and film. Of course that is if they get to keep it. How much of a cut do the Scientologists get? OK, this wasn't going to be about them. I already did that once today. Besides I think actually that Skeletor owes about $2.5M in back taxes, and the tax rate on this will be about 40%. So not even counting fees to agents, managers and attorneys they will only clear a million. Of course someone who makes $40,000 a year would take 25 years of working 40 hours a week or more to make that much.

I just think that although People skews to about age 65 or something close to that, it is at the checkout stands and so I think young women who see Jennifer Lopez looking all happy and airbrushed with professionally done hair and makeup get the idea that having a baby is no big deal and that it is fun and exciting and I will look just like Jennifer when I am done.

What they don't realize is that she probably has at least 2 nannies and might even need name tags to tell which is which at this point. I'm sure she will be happy when they can speak so she won't have to guess anymore.

Hey, I think it is great she had babies. I just know that the article is probably going to talk about the hundreds of thousands of dollars that she spent on the nursery, and the fact that it makes people feel like crap when they can't give that to their own kids.

Oh, here is the link to Kneepads.

34 comments:

lainiekazan said...

Too bad both kids resemble their father.

Mistik said...

Yeah, was going to say paternity will never - alas - be in doubt.

Ice Angel said...

Awww...I think they're really cute! I can never say anything bad about a baby...even a rich baby. I'm just glad they are healthy!

Twisted Sister said...

Cute babies. Personally, I'm glad they're raised by nannies who may be grounded and have their heads screwed on straighter than Hollywood parents.

DNfromMN said...

word, ts. (you are on a roll this week).

I have to wonder though, if J-Lo named these kids after Dragon Tales characters. That means she was watching Dragon Tales BEFORE she had kids. Isn't that a little odd? I was intrigued and feeling lazy before going into work, and had difficulty sitting through 2 minutes of it.

Twisted Sister said...

DN, that's because it's Holy week....lol.

Maybe it's her hubby who watches Dragon tales...because the name reminds him of his marital experience.

jax said...

it's probably J-lo's nickname by her staff.

Twisted Sister said...

Yeah, Jax - because when she walks away and her ass is sliding across the floor, they say she's dragon tale.

califblondy said...

Cutie Phillip Palmer who does the morning L.A. news on ABC said that the reason it took so long for this picture to get published was because J.Lo was putting on her make-up.

Cute babies though.

I wanna see her pushing one of those two-seater strollers wearing a pair of 5-inch heels.

Burgundy said...

So let me get this straight. J-Lo is at home in her nursery, yet she's dressed in a designer evening gown. With full-on hair and makeup, no less.

I know that she had to look good for the photo shoot, but couldn't they have her play the at-home mom routine better than this? But who knows, maybe J-Lo struts around in $10,000 dresses 24/7.

Sweater said...

This made me laugh a lot Ent:)
My 2 immediate older brothers (18 months older) were twins.
My mom used to rely on me to tell them apart.
First of all, twins have their own language with one another. Second, it seems to be a common thing to try to pull one over on your folks when you're caught without the twin around and blame them (say you are them). This is when my mom would grab me from my nap and say "Is this really Jason?"
grumpily I would give the yes or no.

Yes yes I know her children are fraternal (obviously) and not identical..but still it made me smile.

Betcha whatever language they create to communicate is better than her next album;)

april said...

No amount of makeup or airbrushing could hide her newly acquired piggy nose, though.

I'm pregnant, and pray to God that doesn't happy to me. Maybe it doubles in size when you are expecting twins?

Sweater said...

Grats april!!
That's awesome:)

No idea about the nose thing but I think when you've had work done, that might be a factor.
Again though, no idea.

gossiphound said...

everybody's nose gets bigger when they are pregnant. i have seen some huge ones. ET, do you have any children? you seem so anti-kid. just makes me wonder.

lainiekazan said...

I wonder if they'll speak Spanish at home? JLo claims she only spoke English as a child and never learned Spanish, but come on, girl - she grew up in a Spanish-speaking nabe in the Bronx (her newscaster sister Lynda made the mistake of taping her and her mother touring the old neighborhood and speaking spanish to all the storekeepers.) You think the old ladies in the neighborhood would let them get away with that?

Brenda22 said...

And apparently she claims they did it naturally...no fertility treatments. Yeah right, I buy that. Just like Nicole Kidman never had any work done.

Do these celebs really think people are that stupid?

Twisted Sister said...

April - congratulations!!! When are you due? And can we make fun of your nose along the way? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaasssse??

jenner said...

I could NEVER make fun of babies, but I have no problem spewing about JLo. I gotta say I feel ZERO happiness for her. She seems like such a souless beast.

april said...

Thanks Sweater and Twisted Sister! How nice of you!

If my nose expands like J-Lo's I will make sure to let you know so you can make fun of me too. I promise!

Twisted Sister said...

YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!! ;-)

april said...

Oh, and I'm due September 29. :-)

Twisted Sister said...

April, may you have a nice cooler summer. ;-)

april said...

Thanks. I'm in Tennessee, so we'll have to see about that..

RagDoll said...

Um, NurserIES, Ent. Plural. One for every house she owns, and each as extravagant as the others...

April, congrats on your wonderful news!!!!!!!! Here's hoping you have a nice, easy pregnancy with lots of ice cream thrown in, and very minimal, if any, nose (or butt) spread! Ha!

audieh_1 said...

My nose never grew either time I was pregnant. I got huge boobs, my hair fell out, I developed a bunch of allergies, and had the best fingernails, but no growing nose.

Twisted Sister said...

If by nose, they mean ass, then mine got big during pregnancy, too.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

I can't believe it! We're going to have a CDAN baby! Congratulations.

april said...

Thanks Ragdoll and Brendalove! I'm really touched by the well-wishing! That, together with all the hormones make me a little teary-eyed. He he. You are so sweet!

cinnarose said...

I looked at these while in the checkout line at the grocery today, and they are the most posed, overly styled photos I have ever seen. Even Miss J (holla ANTM fans!) would be aghast.
In one, she is wearing this pink ball gown while bottle feeding (of course, she's not going to breast feed), and in another they're pushing the babies in a stroller and Marc is in this pink(!) cardigan and they look like they're running. I don't even have the words to describe how fake and laughter inducing it all is. I actually lol'd while standing in line. If you see it in a store, pick it up and take a gander, because it's so awful.

loveshoes said...

um, i should HOPE that no matter how little time she spends with her twins she could tell them apart...considering that max would be the one with the penis. that should make it pretty easy for her!

NatD said...

I thought I read that Marc was the photographer on this shoot?

Oh, and those are sooooo IVF babies!

classalpha said...

... oh... I "take it" Ent. L. FINALLY SEES that Brittany Murphy IS A 'WH0RE'... hence his "... work the street" *comment*. Oh YA...and did Ent. notice She recently "stated" (through Her *PR SPOKES-HO'les* no less) that She "...doesn't read blogs"? Well, OBVIOUSLY She "does"... hence Her PUBLIC DENIAL Of Ent. L.'s blog and 'OTHERS' on the Net which TELL THE "Em"XPLICIT *Truth* ABOUT Her.



... BAAAAAAAA...

acetomato777 said...

Oh lord, they do look like Marc. Oh my.

Babies are babies and sweetness galore - but . . . I'll shut it up now

Sexecution said...

People magazine certainly got ripped off for 6 million, first, they look like babies. Second, they look like homely babies. Momz used to call them plain to be kind. I call them Julia Roberts fugly babies.