Monday, March 17, 2008

Minnie Driver And The Baby Name

Minne Driver has been going around to various talk shows whining about how she can't come up with a name for her future kid because she has such an awful last name. Well, all I know is that she should not be the one deciding. Her number one choice if it is a boy is John Driver. That is the most porn name you could ever think of. You might as well just call Vivid as soon as you put that name on a birth certificate because that is where he is headed.

I personally don't understand why she just won't use my surname for the child. It is almost like she is ashamed that I am the father of the baby. Well, if she won't tell everyone I am the dad, then the least I can do is come up with a good name.

Since she is a Minnie, she could name a boy Mickey, or Pluto, or really could go with any of the Disney family and I think it would work.

She really needs to stay away from the adjectives though like Mighty or the cute names that other celebrities have come up with like Apple or Paris. When combined with Driver they sound more like a job description than a name.

No matter what she names the kid though, there will always be some jerkoff saying "Drive her?" I didn't even know her. Yea, that's really funny one time. Well the kid won't be laughing when he sees John Driver up there on the big screen living the American male dream of being a porn star.

Although Minnie can get on my nerves, she has been in some of my favorite films, including Grosse Point Blank, so it is tough to get too snarky about her.


captivagrl said...

she's great on The Riches, and season 2 starts tomorrow night!( with eddie izzard too)

jax said...

Circle of Friends was the best Irish chick flick. EVER.

I lvoed Grosse Point as John n Jeremy before the plugs.

RagDoll said...

<3 Eddie Izzard! He's lots of fun to watch, whatever the project!

Funny that Ent. should mention the name thing, because for the longest time, when she first came on the scene, I couln't help but think Minnie (van) Driver everytime I heard her name.

YahMoBThere said...

I love Minnie Driver. She's great in everything.

I vote she name her child Screw.

MnGddess said...

LMAO Twis!!!

..or Pile (or Pyle).

jax said...


YahMoBThere said...

LOL - you're both SICK!!

IndigoBlue said...

Twisted Sister, that actually made me laugh out loud!

Impertinent Vixen said...

What about


YahMoBThere said...

Indigo - thanks. You're sick, too! ;-)

If it's a girl - how about -


and if it's a boy - how about -



MontanaMarriott said...

I thought Driver is her maiden name?
Is she not giving her child the father's last name?

If not then I am all for

jax said...


WTF said...

Why isn't the kid going to have the baby daddy's last name?

Khemenu said...

For some reason (probably because I'm a heartless cynic) I think the father to be is married or something equally scandalous.

anon said...

maybe she doesn't know who he is.
she isn't married to whoever it is.

selenakyle said...

Yeah,...I was thinking she must be the reveal to a recent Blind. Anyone else thinking this?

Majik said...

oh oh oh...wasn't there a recentish blind about a celebutante or some such that turned out to actually be a pretty good actress? Couldn't figure out who the daddys were....I might be mixing blinds, but I think Selenakyle's right--she's an answer to sumptin'.

Uber*nought said...


jax said...

how about the celebutard (criss Angel) who is making out with chicks while his actress gf is knocked up at home?

we all thought it was Cash n Jessica.

Nanette Loftis said...

Coming out of lurking to add... Parker Driver

Tigercat said...

I love Screw and the rest of the names. God I love the comments.

Anyway I went to school with a John Driver and no one ever made the leap to porn name. Maybe hooch and drugs really do stunt the bitter snap of one's comedic abilities.

Printer has a faux literary ring to it ...

Mikael said...

Walker... yeah that's the ticket Walker Driver

bgirl said...

as a resident of grosse pointe, thank you :-)


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