Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Blind Item #8

This former A+ list mostly movie actor who was the biggest star in the world back in the day is aging rapidly and in bad health. He has a nurse on call 24 hours a day, but none of his nurses will do anything special for him so every night he has a hooker come to his house and pretend to be a nurse and does what hookers do.

168 comments:

SKOR said...

Ryan O'Neil

saycheese said...

jack nickolson?

Cathy said...

Jack Nicholson? We know he likes his ladies on the payroll...

Anna Nonymous said...

biggest star in the world? I don't think O'Neal fits, Nicholson does nicely though. I hope his health improves. He's a national treasure, imho.

Penelope said...

Burt Reynolds

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Mel Gibson

Count Jerkula said...

Stallone or Eastwood

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Kevin Costner

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Donnie Osmond

sandybrook said...

Burt Reynolds looks like hes close to death in recent pictures

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Willie Ames

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Shaun Cassidy

trainrides said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Gary Coleman

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Guy from Wayne's World

trainrides said...

Aging rapidly and in bad health but still has sex every night? Whoa.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Jerry Seinfeld

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

I'm giving the Entrs lots of choices for reveal day when they go through all the guesses and decide which one to use.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Justin Beiber

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Michael Lohan

crila16 said...

Jack

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Corey Feldman

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Ben Stiller

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Brad Pitt

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Jay Leno

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Chevy Chase

libby said...

I will take the Burt guess over Jack for one reason---Jack IS still one of the biggest stars in the world, it's never really faded whether he works much or not.
Burt Reynolds was literally THE biggest star for maybe 5 years.... WAS the biggest, not anymore. I think that fits the wording of the blind better.

SecretTorture said...

STFU Ann Nah Nah you are stupid and nothing about your or your comments is clever.

librariantobe said...

Nicholson looked fine at the Oscars a few months ago when he hit on Jennifer Lawrence at some post show party.

Michael Douglas.

8=====D - RememberKermitGosnell said...

Kirk Douglas, as his son's (oncologist Michael Douglas) genetics show us.

GuiltyPleasure33 said...

Michael Douglas?

Kristin said...

Kirk Douglas. Creeper

EllenPo said...

I agree with the Burt Reynolds guess. He was the highest paid actor for years in the 70s. He's looked pretty frail for a while. The way he treated Loni Anderson when they split made me realize what an a-hole he was. For those who are too young to remember, they had been together for years and one day a knock came to the door and she was served with divorce papers and forced out of the house. No warning. He was cheating on her with a waitress that looked just like her and who moved in the next day.Blechh.

Brenda L said...

If I were a hooker....I can't think of anything more depressing than having to rub one out of a dying man....

nevarmore said...

Kirk Douglas

Jessica said...

Burt Reynolds

msgirl said...

I like the Burt guess more for reasons that Libby said.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

SecretTorture is Soylent Green is people!!!!!!!

auntliddy said...

Gerald depardieu.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Richard Dawson

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Bob Newhart

Amartel said...

Betty White.

Amartel said...

Jane Fonda.

Amartel said...

Cher.

NATHANIEL MANELLA said...

I hope it's Kirk. According to some blinds he's a real SOB and a lot of people will be happy when he croaks it

SusieQ said...

I remember finding my mom's Cosmo with Burt in it. He was the (hairy bear) thing back then!

http://www.hilaryshepherd.com/rantsnraves/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/burt-reynolds-death-rumor.jpg

Joanna said...

This has to be Jack.

NATHANIEL MANELLA said...

I hope it's Kirk. According to some blinds he's a real SOB and a lot of people will be happy when he croaks it

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Ryan O'Neal

Vera L- said...

Sean Connery.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Henry Fonda

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

David Spade

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Dirk Diggler

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Ron Jeremy

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

My dad

Anna Nonymous said...

God Marcie, go take your meds girl.

Samantha M. said...

Samuel L Jackson. Enty has hinted before that he is in very poor health, and some pap photos show him with a cane. He doesn't fit "biggest star in the world" but I think he would have certainly been considered A list.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

John Holmes

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

WHO THE FUCK IS MARCIE

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Screech from Saved By the Bell.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Groucho Marx

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Lionel Richie

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

David Hasselhoff

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Bryan Cranston

Silly Girl said...

Totally Burt Reynolds. He's a pig. I feel bad someone like Sally Field fell for him. Loni Anderson, too. He's a disgusting pig.

.robert said...

Whoever Ann na na is, you need help. There is something very wrong with you. Go see a doctor.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Bill Murray

B Smears said...

Nah, he's just a cunt.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Robert, I have seen a doctor, and he has seen me.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Chevy Chase

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Steve Martin

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Count Jerkula

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Your dad

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Anderson Cooper

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Bill Cosby

B Smears said...

Entertaining randomness. My money was on the littlest hobo

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Al Bundy

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Chris Rock

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Eddie Murphy

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Jefferson D'arcy

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Marcy D'arcy
OH! THAT Marcy! I totally would've gotten it if you knew how to spell! xoxo

Count Jerkula said...

@Ann Nah Nah Mess: Nah. I guess I am a SuperStar now, but I've never been the biggest star in the world. Plus I can't even afford a monthly hooker, much less have a naughty nurse whore on call.

Jeneral said...

Al Pacino

Hazeldazel said...

I was just gonna say Al Pacino. Isn't he the one who's supposed to have Dementia? There's always a mystery woman with him when he's pictured walking with his daughter? And he's always papped with his daughter. Never by himself.

sarasmile4641 said...

The Bob Newhart guess was funny!

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

I'll be your nurse. That giant unit of yours--I feel like I should be paying YOU!

sarasmile4641 said...

I think Ryan O'Neal fits this perfectly. Does anyone remember he was the it boy for quite a while, and anyone can read about how Pervy he is. Tatum O'Neal has written about what a Perv her dad was. He tried to hit on her at Farrah's funeral.

Massive G said...

Definitely Rim Job Cruise. Nowhere does it say the hookers are female.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Jed Clampift

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Johnny Depp

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Christian Slater

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Anthony Michael Hall

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Gavin McLeod

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Ricardo Montalban

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Herve Villechaize

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Rod Serling

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

LeVar Burton

RowdyRodimus said...

Mickey Rooney. As he told Dana Carvy "I was the biggest star in the world...The WORLD...Bam..shammo! Judy Garland liked it in the brown but didn't have a car. I did, I was the biggest star in the WORLD for three years!"

(Sorry, just listened to Jon Lovitz's vodcast with Dna and he told that story and I died laughing from the impression. Dana was on a tv show with Mickey when he first started out and it also co-starred Nathan Lane. Nathan wasn't out at the time but he and Dana were good friends so Dana knew. Mickey thought Dana was gay, put his arm around Nathan when Dana was doing a scene with them and said "It's a good thing we like girls, huh?" Dana had to play it off since he didn't want to out Nathan.

It's on Youtube, just search Jon Lovitz Dana Carvey podcast.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Mikey (he likes it)

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Harrison Ford

Hanwi said...

Somebody here could really use some mental help... What kind of obsessed nutjob has the time and energy for 24/7 trolling?

Count Jerkula said...

@Ann Nah Nah Mess: It aint that big. If I charge you by the inch, my rates are fairly reasonable. Height and jeans size, please.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Someone who gets to do whatever the fuck she wants. Are we clear?

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

5'7", size 6, red hair, blue eyes, 32C

Count Jerkula said...

If you are over 18 and within 250 miles from Jersey, whatcha doin Saturday? I got some rubbers about to expire, and I hate throwing them away.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Bummers! I'm about 1500 miles away, and I have to help my husband spay and neuter our pets this weekend. Sad face!

texas rose said...

What the hell is going on here Count?

megan00m said...

Agree

Count Jerkula said...

@Texas Rose: Fucked if I know. I just dispelled me have a hooker nurse, next thing I know I'm finding out that distance and marriage are once again keepin me from scoring.

sarah.estell said...

My first thought was Burt Reynolds.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

We'll always have dirty, filthy trolling. No one can ever take that away. Texas is closer to you than I am. Maybe she's free this weekend? (Fingers crossed!)

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Hey Texas--can you help make the Count's weekend count? It'd be a crying shame to throw away perfectly good package wrappers.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Sarah, please stay on topic.

Charlotte. said...

@anna nonymous, if you are the motivation behind so many people creating parody accounts, I can't imagine that your replying to them is going to get them to stop. Many others are ignoring it and I think you should probably do so too. Until such point as it becomes threatening, that is. For now, it seems mostly harmless (and sometimes amusing).

Mala Propism said...

I'll throw in Schwarzenegger for laughs... But the Burt Reynolds guess makes sense.

Audrey said...

Not a lot of you know this, but the "Random photos" were labeled mostly as ironic because usually the answer to the day's blind item was in the "random" photos. So, if it's still the case, I gotta go with Al.

Kathleen said...

Am I the only one who sees nothing wrong with him having a bit of fun before he dies as long as everyone is consenting and leaves happy with what they got out of it?

texas rose said...

Pacino isn't on his way out though- Bert is probably a good guess but could be someone like Kirk Douglas though - someone else mentioned him.

texas rose said...

Burt not bert.

texas rose said...

Count - At least with Amanda you know the crazy you are getting.

SophiaB said...

@Count-dirty minded and oh so thrifty. I can imagine the look on the local barfly's face when you hit her up with THAT clever come-on come-on!?!? LOL.

Alabama said...

Nick Nolte

Count Jerkula said...

@SophiaB: The expiring rubbers line or the charge by the inch line, which one is the panty dropper?

Jenn said...

So whoever this guy is, we know he watched House.

Anna said...

Wasn't Loni Anderson a compulsive shopper? That would get old fast, watching someone dump your life's savings in boutiques that were selling '80s style big-shoulder "Dynasty" dresses that would be worthless except as a thrift-store donation before the year was up.

Jeff Macauley said...

Dinah got the best of Burt. She lucked out.

Stephanie McDonald said...

Great points. I was for sure thinking it was Jack until I read your comment. Jack is probably permanently A+. But Burt was the hottest thing going back in Smokey and the Bandit days, but his start doesn't shine nearly as bright. And remember back when he did Boogie Nights.....it was called his comeback, bc he had dropped quite a bit. Jack would never need to make a comeback.
So my vote is for Burt.

SophiaB said...

Expiring rubbers.

My poor sainted ever-so-patient husband is so depressed about his inability to find a girlfriend since we moved away from the Bay Area that I might suggest he use that line sometime-but to me, it sounds like putting vaseline on a fish hook and telling LOTSA stories about the one(s) that got away...

It just CRACKED ME UP. SOOOOOO skeezily romantic, coming from you. Love ya Count!

Count Jerkula said...

Thanks Sophia. "Skeezy romantic" goes well with my style, which I call "scumbag chic", and doesn't really have that much style to it.

Outshined said...

F the thread troll.

Sean Connery was the perfect guess.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Outshined, which one of us would you
Like to fuck first? I have a 5 page application and intense panel interview process. But if you think you're worthy...Hey, miracles happen every day!

di butler said...

Not the whole story,the cheating went both ways, and Loni was siphoning off $$ outta his accounts for when the time came, she'd be ok Neither one wins any prizes from that marriage.

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Yeah, Anna, stop motivating and inspiring me to earn your approval. Someday, I want to gain access to the inner sanctum that is Enty's colon. Why should you be the only one of us who gets to go to heaven?

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Fred Willard

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Charles Grodin

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Martin Mull

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Carol O'Connor

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Zach Galafanakis

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Pete Schweddy

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Chris O'Donnell

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Chris Farley

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Alex Trebek

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Ben Stein

Massive G said...

Rimjob Cruise or his fellow Scientology rump ranger, John "Cocksucker" Revolta.

Massive G said...

I don't despise Rimjob Cruise because he is a spermbreathed turd burglar. I hate the pathetic ass munching goot gobbler because he's too chickenshit to come out of the closet.

Give him the chair!

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Vince Schlomi

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Ron Popeil

Count Jerkula said...

Abe Vigoda

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Danny DeVito

Count Jerkula said...

Don Imus

Count Jerkula said...

Alan Alda

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Dennis Miller

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Lou Diamond Phllips

B Smears said...

Ann Nah Nah Mess : are you cousins with Anna Rexie?

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Emilio Estevez

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Bill Paxton

B Smears said...

How about giving him a quick gobby and then you have to wipe his saggy arse. That's a tad worse. Or if he blew pea and ham consistency jizz bombs in your face while fisting your kitten?

Ann Nah Nah Mess said...

Don Knotts

Count Jerkula said...

Don Knotts deserved a whore nurse. That fella was golden.

anon said...

Burt Reynolds - Supposedly, Loni Anderson took her ring to have it appraised and it was CZ. Even at his most popular, Ryan O'Neal was never the biggest star in the world.

D Brown said...

It reads like Burt but I understood he was broke - hasn't worked in years, house in trouble with bank etc. He fell and was on the floor of his house for a day or so because no one was there to look after him. Not sure he could afford 24/7 nursing much less supplemental services!

BobNYC said...

David Cassidy

BobNYC said...

Kirk Cameron

BobNYC said...

Macaulay Culkin

BobNYC said...

Leif Garrett

Dingle Barry said...

To quote Smears, "Nah, he's just a cunt" (in a different way though)

Dingle Barry said...

He's getting Hookers in Heaven? Nice.

Dingle Barry said...

Most annoying post ever.