Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Jessica Alba Talks To Honor Marie About Wildlife Conservation

As you may or may not have known, Jessica Alba is passionate about her love of Great White sharks and she took that love last week to Oklahoma City where the population of Great Whites has shrunk to zero except when the 80's band comes to town once or twice a year. Now, I love Oklahoma. I love any state that has a speed limit sign which starts with a 7 and ends in a 5 and that isn't kilometers an hour we are talking about there. As much as I love Oklahoma it seems an odd spot for Jessica Alba and some animal rights guy to make a stand on Great Whites. The only thing I can think of is that this was kind of like their test run before heading for Broadway. This was their screening of a movie before the premiere. This was their dress rehearsal, oh you get it. Anyway, this is how I imagined a conversation with Jessica and her daughter Honor when Jessica got back from Oklahoma City. Assuming of course that Honor could actually talk.

Honor: Hi mommy. Why is dad such an a-hole?
Jessica: Never mind that for right now. It has to do with mommy being rich.
Honor:Did you bring me a present?
Jessica: Of course. Here you go.
Honor:What is it?
Jessica:It's called an armadillo. There are lots of them in Oklahoma.
Honor: Is that why you were there? To see armadillos?
Jessica:No sweetie I was there to save Great Whites.
Honor:You mean the band that had hits like "Once Bitten Twice Shy?"
Jessica: No, silly. Great White Sharks. Like Jaws.
Honor: Oh, are there lots of Great White sharks in Oklahoma?
Jessica: Umm, no there aren't any.
Honor: Are there lost of people there who kill Great White sharks?
Jessica: Umm, no there aren't any.
Honor: Are there lots of people there who want to kill Great White sharks?
Jessica: Umm, no there aren't any.
Honor:Is it on the beach?
Jessica:Umm, no it isn't.
Honor: So why were you there?
Jessica:Because I wanted to tell them all about how the Great White is endangered.
Honor:Oh, so did you give speeches?
Honor:Did you go on tv?
Honor:What did you do?
Jessica:I put up big posters all over town.
Honor:Isn't that vandalism?
Jessica:Only if you aren't Jessica Alba. Now lets go see if daddy did his chores and mommy will give him his allowance.


kris said...

LMAO...Enty, I will ask you again...Will you marry me?

mooshki said...


jax said...

jesus, do we need to do an Intervention?

lutefisk said...

I think we should do a lottery.

mooshki said...

Lutefisk - I vote for a cage match.

lutefisk said...

that may work also.

Emma31 said...

Oh ENTY, I love the fake conversations.

kris said...

CAGE MATCH...HAHAHAHAHAHA...god, you people are funny.

MontanaMarriott said...

Oh Enty, you slay me!

lmnop123 said...

Enty you forgot to mention how she posted that picture on top of a United Way billboard and now it will cost UW big bucks to replace.

RocketQueen said...

So now she's a bitch AND an idiot. Although I had started to lean that way after she told that reporter to "Be neutral; be Sweden."

Unknown said...

she's a bitch, an idiot and on top of that, she was engaged to the most beautiful man in the world (michael weatherly) and dumped him. three strikes, yer out, albademon!

GoddessNow said...

ROTFL! Imagine that!

Anonymous said...

Alba is confuse probably smoked 1 too many hehehehe

Pookie said...

this girl is a jerk. wth. poor oklahoma.

ardleighstreet said...

Loved it. Enty you brighten my day! Thank you.

Egocentric bitch. If I were the United Way I'd make her pay for the new posters.

Arachne, I'd forgotten she dumped him. That would make her a DUMB egocentric bitch.

Unknown said...

@ardleigh ... he is my all-time favourite, biggest celebrity crush. has been for the past 5 years. i absolutely adore him (and he seems like a lovely, funny, kind person in real life, which only adds to my infatuation), and to think she had him and left him when her star was on the rise ... well, let's say she's been in my bad books ever since.

Miss X said...

Def love the fake conversations, Enty. Sooo funny :)


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