Monday, August 17, 2009

Dancing With The Stars Contestants

All the pictures are courtesy of ABC which is why they look like they have been airbrushed more than any photos in the history of the world. They don't want you thinking they have a bunch of ugly people dancing on their show.



Mya, singer

I like her. She could do very well.
Melissa Joan Hart, actress

I also like Melissa. She will also bring her kids and husband to every episode for the sympathy vote.
Michael Irvin, former Dallas Cowboy

Don't like him. Most likely to hit on Mya.

Ashley Hamilton, actor, comedian, singer-songwriter

Comedian? Well, I guess the thought of him being married to Shannen Doherty is funny. Isn't Alana Stewart his mom? Would she show up wearing an I love Farrah pin every week and holding a copy of her book? Probably. Most likely to have sex with Paris Hilton.
Aaron Carter, singer

When you are an answer to a blind item and it isn't a kindness, you don't deserve to win. Just saying.
Kathy Ireland, former supermodel-turned-businesswoman

I know lots of you like her, but she just really rubs me the wrong way.Debi Mazar, actress

Entourage. What else do you need? Oh, did she ever have sex with Madonna?

Natalie Coughlin, U.S. Olympic swimmer

Don't know her off the top of my head. The Olympic thing seems to be a regular now on the show.

Louie Vito, snowboarder

I thought it said Don Vito at first and couldn't believe they were going to put a child molester on the show. I have no idea who Louie is, but he looks very cool and seems to love his parents. Does he live at home though? That would make him my favorite.
Chuck Liddell, ultimate fighting champ

Most likely to come with a new girlfriend each week. Most likely to kick the crap out of Michael Irvin.
Donny Osmond, singer

Wants to faint just like his sister. I am predicting he makes it to the final four.


Tom DeLay, former Republican congressman

Seriously?

Macy Gray, singer

An interesting place for her to make a comeback.
Joanna Krupa, model and actress

Most likely to get hit on.
Mark Dacascos, Iron Chef personality

It's the Iron Chef. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.


Kelly Osbourne, reality star

Sharon and Ozzy there for every show? Kelly is the most likely to quit.

43 comments:

lmnop123 said...

Love the captions Enty. I hope Kelly or Macy wins this season.

.robert said...

If Mark Dacascos were a food item it'd be a cornball.

canadachick said...

MEh they could have Queen Elizabeth, the Pope and osama Bin Laden.....i still won't be watching

figgy said...

What was Aaron Carter's blind item?

I already hope Donny wins. I ushered at the Chicago Theater about 20 times just so I could see him for free in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. He was SOOOOO good! (Plus I'm old enough to remember the original Donny & Marie show.)

Word was that he was an uber-mensch on Joseph, and very well-liked among the cast and crew. That always makes me like a celeb much more. Stable too, unlike poor Marie.

ItsJustMe said...

That's not airbrushing, that's recreating some of their images in Adobe Illustrator.

WTF is Tom DeLay doing on there??? Oh, LORD.

Can't help but secretly love Donny (don't tell anyone).

Nosey Parker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
libby said...

Yeah, figgy, I have heard forever that Donny O is the Real Deal as far as his humility and real-life niceness.
I used to WORSHIP Donny & Marie!

They really are both very talented, kind of like the Michael and Janet J. of Utah.

whole lotto luv said...

Photochop was not kind to Debi Mazar or Joanna Krupa.

I don't watch DWTS, but if I did, I'd skip this one for them giving airtime to anyone named Hamilton.

libby said...

Say what you want about Mormonism, but they sure have some happy, nice, well-adjusted members! I'm just sayin!

Ms Cool said...

Nobody that would make me watch it but I do like Donny Osmond.

BigMama said...

Holy Crap! I might have to actually watch this season...........I mean, Iron Chef! what, he didn't have a bad sci-fi movie to star in?

BigMama said...

oh and Btw, Aaron Carters eyebrows are freaking me out! they make his eyes look life-less.......

Nosey Parker said...

Aaron Carter blind? -
Which blonde former teen singing-acting sensation hooked up with a woman twice his age? Even though he’s young, his cougar fling is bragging that he was experienced beyond his years.

Jill said...

I might actually watch this season, for one man and one man only: THE CHAIRMAN!

Karmen said...

Enty - Awesome captions.

notvotingforsuckno said...

I am hoping my instincts are correct and Lacey gets paired with the snowboarder and NOT Nick Carter. Loves me some Lacey!
Can Melissa Joan Hart like DO something besides make crass Farrah comments/bitch and moan to People mag to get attention? Seriously, this show is not going to revive your career.
Finally, here's to a Chairman Kaga/Mya (please let her be paired with Maks) faceoff in the finale. Oh yeah, I love this cheesy show!

Shaina said...

Hey Enty, great timing on this post! A coworker just told me this morning that her cousin is going to be on DWTS this season...and that his name is Louie Vito. I had never heard of him either, but she informed me that he is a professional snowboarder. Who knew?

Damned Fallacy said...

I had such a HUGE Donny crush back in the day. I even had purple socks with his picture on them, because he always said purple was his favorite color. ~~sigh~~

I'm rooting for Donny or The Chairman to win. I like Mya and Macy Gray, and the snowboarder could be a surprise star. Everyone else...meh. Oh, except I hope Tom DeLay makes more of an ass out himself that he did in his political career. You know - all of Woz's dancing talent, none of the teddy-bear charm.

lmnop123 said...

I used to love Donny too until he showed up almost everyday on Entertainment Tonight. That show just invents topics for him to discuss.

He was also on Extra every week giving his "expert advice" when Marie was on DWTS.

I know he's a singer and dancer but he's no ballroom dancer so WTF kind of expert is he in that area?


Too much Donnie killed it for me. I imagine he's going to give me a cavity from all the sugar sweetness he'll display on the show.

AvaMore said...

Love Kelly~ but that pic is soooo icky, no-likeee!

What was the blind item about Aaron? Does anyone know...meth most likely!

mooshki said...

From Kevin Smith's Twitter:

ThatKevinSmith: From @virgiliocorrado "When are you going to be on dancing with the stars?" Shortly after I put up the "FOR SALE: DIGNITY" ad on CraigsList.

JoElla said...

Oh boy.. this is better than the nuts on Big Brother. Might be the season to watch!

Theresa said...

I thought the last picture was Shirley Jones...

califblondy said...

I love Joana Krupa after she cussed out Terrel Owens on that sports show. For once in his life, he kept his mouth shut. I think she would have slapped him silly if he would have said anything back to her. She told him "You call yourself an athlete? She's getting my vote for that alone.

Do we know who the pros are paired with?

I think the politician will be the first one voted off the island.

CM said...

Loved the captions (as always).

I had always thought that Aaron Carter would have been in the blinds for being gay or something drug related. Really? He was doing the nasty with an older woman (presumably Teri Snatcher). Now that IS nasty.

Maja With a J said...

I might actually watch an episode or two this season. never have before, but Kelly Osbourne and Debi "Fabulous Bitch" Mazar ballroom dancing? Queen, please!

mikey said...

I will admit I am already a DWTS addict. With Mark Dacascos on the show this year my family will be staging an intervention when/if he is eliminated. I'm from the Donny O era, and I would have been rooting for him, but not with Mark on.

Nosey Parker - good catch!

HannahPalindrome said...

Chuck Liddell-I Hate when guys wear a black shirt with a tie-TACKY!

I hope the guy from Iron Chef wins. I like him.

PotPourri said...

This must be Douching With The Stars. Really, DeLay? Ultimate Fighting Champ? Blech! They should have gotten Gina Carano. Debi Mazar? Doesn't she have a semi-career?

Pookie said...

you KNOW macy gray will be the one bringing the weed. *pictures kelly osbourne lining up*

Anonymous said...

Consider me in the Mark Dacascos camp. I remember watching Iron Chef one day and thinking, man the Chairman is hot, he looks familiar too. Then I looked him up and saw he was the guy from Brotherhood of the Wolf

RocketQueen said...

Awesome! I have decided I will watch for the first time. Primary motivation: seeing whether Mark Dacascos has any other vocabulary beyond that on Iron Chef. As I recall, he looks pretty fit and bendy!

Sis said...

Wow...the Chairman and Donny on the same show, count me in!!

And yes, I also think Kelly Osbourne will quit the show.

jax said...

"Winner, winner, chicken dinner."

that had me LOL. i may actually watch this show for once.

B626 said...

aaron cartor eyebrows drawn on BADLY

Anonymous said...

ha@ Kevin Smith's comment. Coming from the guy whose movies are 50% potty words strung together incoherently with profanity, that's priceless.

BlahFrickinBlah said...

Macy looks fierce! I love her voice-singing and talking voice. I hope she wins.

Ells said...

Please post no more pics of Aaron Carter. Looking at him makes me feel ill.

Miss X said...

I guess Tori and Dean's campaigning didn't win them a spot? One of them will be on there eventually.

Aimée said...

I've been in love with Donny for about 10 years now. I'm 22 but that's not the point. I've also always liked Melissa. I hope they show this on a channel in the UK.

aanjheni said...

Oh man, DWTS making choose between Donny Osmond and Mark Dacascos? This is gonna be hard. Do I go with my first love or my current crush? hmmm
Well, I did wear out 3 45s of Donny's "Puppy Love". I had the Donny pillowcase, the purple socks, and the lunchbox. Let's not even talk about how many Tiger Beat posters I had of him up on my bedroom walls.
But Mark can do those amazing martial arts flips and kicks (jk) and the gleam in his eye when he takes a huge bite out of his apple hints to something pretty naughty.

Sorry Mark, I have to go with Donny for the win. And if he would just sing "Puppy Love" or "Go Away Little Girl", I would be happy.

amanda rae said...

Wow, I will actually watch this show just so I can vote for Tom DeLay. I hope he wins, it's nice to have someone that us crazy right-wingers can root for. We're coming back, so watch out liberal douchebags! LOL!

Diane said...

Oh man, I do hope Tom DeLay doesn't get eliminated first, but I might actually watch this so I can root for KELLY! She seems adorable and reminded me of how I was as a teen when she was a teenager. Also, one of her favorite songs is "The Neverending Story" by Limahl, which means girlfriend's got to be a fellow '80s chick!

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