Monday, December 21, 2009

A Night With Tila Tequila & Casey Johnson


Over the weekend I saw reports that Casey Johnson, the drug addicted heir to Johnson & Johnson money and her fiancee Tila Tequila had quite the weekend. Casey said she was going back to New York to get her adopted daughter back from Casey's mom and dad. Casey's dad is NY Jets owner Woody Johnson. Also this weekend Tila announced she is pregnant and carrying her brother's baby. With that in mind, I give you a weekend with Tila & Casey.

Casey - (snorting a line of coke) I'm so bored this weekend. I think we should go to New York and see my kid. What is her name again? Wait, maybe it is a boy. No, I distinctly remember asking for a girl when I filled out the application online and got her 24 hours later. Yeah, a girl. We should go. What do you think baby?

Tila (focusing the webcam on them for their live stream and then drinks a shot of liquor) Oh, that sounds like fun. I have always wanted a baby. Now we can have one together. Do you think we could go to the jewelry store while we are there? This 17 carat diamond ring you gave me is starting to turn my finger black. That is so strange. I want my own kid. You have one. I want one. I know, I will call my brother and I can have his baby.

Casey - (snorting more coke)

Tila (gets off the phone) My brother says I can be his surrogate. I think I am already pregnant. Yes, I can feel it. I am. I am going to tell the world. (turns camera to face her) I have some great news everyone. I am going to be a mom. Well, I am going to be a surrogate for my brother and I am already pregnant. This is so amazing. I am going to celebrate by having sex with my girlfriend and then she is going to buy me a car.

Casey - (snorts a line of coke) Huh? What? Oh yeah. Got to get my daughter back.

Tila - See what a great mom she is? I hope I can be that good also. I feel them inside me. I think I am going to have my babies next week. Twins!

Casey - (snorts a line of coke) Huh? Yeah, yeah that was a funny movie.

15 comments:

austinrob said...

Ha Ha! That was VERY funny!
That Tila trash is already a joke...but that was something I could really laugh at.
Thx 4 the laugh, Enty!
And Merry Xmas 2 u and urs! Have come to really enjoy this site & appreciate your hard work/efforts.

linnea said...

Man, with the Brittany shit that just went down I cant even laugh about it... Tila seems to be in just a bad a shape.

Mrs.M5 said...

ahahahaha...what a life, you watch it like a scary movie

(yeah, i'm quoting Juliana Hatfield, i'm a nerd )

canadachick said...

classy those two !!

Sporky said...

Enty you're harsh but I love you for it!! Too bad there are little kids involved, otherwise I'd be really laughing my ass off. I feel sorry for Casey's kid and for what she'll be feeling when she grows up and realizes what a fuck up her mom is.

Merlin D. Bear said...

Normally, I'd be all for a mother regaining custody, especially a (psuedo) lesbian mother.
But this situation screams for DFACS intervention.
There is absolutely no way in any Universe that any judge in their right mind would grant custody to a parent like this.
(And I'm not basing my opinion on Enty's little play)
Since they're *the* Johnsons of Johnson and Johnson, can't they just buy a judge and lock Casey away for treatment?
Ok, that was too harsh.
Can't they just buy a judge so there's no way the child can be subjected to the circus that is Tila?

califblondy said...

How do these people walk around amongst us? I bet Shawne Merriman is thanking his lucky stars right now.

Ladies, please do everyone a favor and go to rehab, or go to jail, or go to hell.

Casey ain't gettin' no baby back.

genesis said...

We needed a laugh lol

slider1964 said...

OMG!!! You can't make up stuff like this!! ROFL!!

sunnyside1213 said...

I am sad for the little girl. These two are just a waste of space.

Pookie said...

sunny, you're totally reading my mind today. that was my first thought too...the little daughter. wow. i hope this nutcase never gets her back. poor little wee one.

GladysKravitz said...

Thank you for the laugh, Enty. Unfortunately, this is probably pretty close to how the conversation went. And let's just hope that the Johnsons are able to do a better job with their grandchild than they did with their daughter. They make a great baby shampoo, but it seems that they didn't do so well by their own daughter.

ardleigh said...

There are children involved in this mess? God help those kids.
Can you imagine being raised by those two? It would be like being raised by 2 Courtney Loves.

shakey said...

I'm so glad for that firefighter girl on the first Shot at Love. She was an honest person. Her heart was broken at the time but she dodged a bullet.

Amazing Quotes said...

very interesting post
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