Wednesday, August 28, 2013

NBA Tested Lamar Odom Six Times In Past Year - No Crack

Apparently all is forgiven in the land of Kardashian. Have you never heard of the land of Kardashian? The ruler is Kris Jenner who desperately wants to be called a Kardashian. If she ever does go through with the divorce of Bruce Jenner, she will have people calling her Kardashian so fast it will make your head spin faster than her spotting a quarter on the street.

She really wanted to have her talk show have the name Kardashian because she thinks people will watch a Kardashian but not a Jenner. It's one of the reasons she had her daughters host with her because then, when unsuspecting people would be scrolling through the program listings they would see the name Kardashian in the information and stop.

Lamar Odom, one of the kingdom's most wayward subjects has been allowed to move home and Khloe has put back on her ring and everything is fine with them. Drug stories? What drug stories? Crack? They didn't mean crack cocaine, they meant the magazine Cracked and someone forgot the final two letters. Lamar is addicted to Cracked Magazine. He wouldn't be satisfied with just Mad, and wanted his Cracked.

Speaking of crack, the NBA tested Lamar six times over the past year and no crack was found in his system. None. Those tests also included the off season. The time when Lamar was supposedly doing crack like crazy.

Last night, after Lamar had completed his 18 hours of camera time for the show and took a blood oath to never betray the empire again, he was allowed to leave to get some coke. The drink. Did you think we meant Lamar was addicted to cocaine? No, he loves the taste of that refreshing drink Coke.

32 comments:

violet said...

The headline was sufficient. The story following was redundant babble.

Kelly said...

I thought it was kinda funny.

8====D KermitGossnellKnobjob said...

American Lance Armstrong passed a shit ton of tests before retiring. Corruption in doping controls is mind-blowing (cracked magazine reference), even more with American sportspeople.

TalksTooMuch said...

I am also addicted to Cracked, but the online version. I used to be able to get by with just Mad, but Cracked really is that much better. I feel you, Lamar

Shit You Can't Buy said...

Pimp Momma Kris (aka PR wizard/Queen of deflecting bad press) watch out! Think they are gonna prove you hookah wrong and finally let someone else win instead of the KASHtrash-ians.

DewieTheBear said...

Kermit, as explained to you yesterday, that is an apples and oranges comparison. Do some fucking research before you compare a guy who had an elaborate, systematic method of bypassing testing protocols and harassing anyone who questioned his cleanliness in order to win TdF titles with Lamar Odom (who, at worst it seems, has been abusing a prescription for Oxy, not exactly a career-enhancing move). All you do is advertise your ignorance when you try to make this parallel over and over.

dee123 said...

I'd probably be rather gossiped about as a drug addict then have to put up with the Karda$hians every fucking day.

Lucas said...

Dear Enties: you should read this story about pimp mama Kris.

marie-ski said...

Ba zine GA!

Laura said...

Ha! @Lucas

cece said...

Oh sweetie, it's a lost cause.

Maximus said...

yo enty imma let you finish but crack clears your system mad fast.

Harry Knuckles said...

Lamar doesn't seem to be the brightest guy around given that he married Kloe 3 minutes after meeting her, but one really has to wonder just what he's doing with his life. Why hard drugs? Why marry a Kardashian? Why throw his NBA career away? The one good thing to come out of all of this though is that a lot of folks have now seen first hand just what a viscious cunt PMK is. The KFucks might have actually done some real damage to the brand over the last several days.

lelale said...

Its not impossible to fool drug tests but its hard to believe a full blown drug addict could keep up the level of play of a professional NBA player.

Brenda L said...

Cocaine only stays in your system for like 72 hours.

lostathome said...

I'm addicted to Cracked, too.

He is seriously one of the most unattractive men I've seen. Guess he has a big dick to go along with the big wallet

Seven of Eleven said...

Cracked is awesome! I actually liked this post, it was funny to picture Kris's head spinning fast at a quarter on the street.

The CZJ/MD splitting People cover put Lamar and Khloe in the top CORNER, taking the wind out of PMK's sails.

Sasha said...

It's all about his cheating. He will cheat again too.

lc said...

Yep. 3 days if that.

Mark B said...

Regarding crack, doesn't it leave your system pretty quickly after using it? (Certainly compared to say, weed or steroids) So it's possible he got lucky with the timing of the tests.

Bacon Ranch said...

He's out of the Clippers. They already signed someone in his place.

Buh-bye Mr. Katrashian Pie

auntliddy said...

I dont get why everybodys working so hard to portray lamarr as some sort of idiot savant, manipulated by pmk. Hes a grown man, makes his own choices. And clearly he's doing some sort of drugs and cheating. He's no wronged innocent.

Vanessa said...

I don't think it's crack but I think he is addicted to prescription meds ( oxy/ambien) which may explain why those drug test.

Plus, if it wasn't true....he would have denied it already.

Why would Kris want to be associated with an addiction story when she could clearly get more sympathy out of him being a serial cheater.

urban chaos said...

Fuck them! This guy has a skill or talent unlike that famewhoring, filthy clan and PMK was destroying his character. Disgusting!

Anonymous said...

Love both of the above posts

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

Sorry the Lance Armstrong analogy is not working unless his crooked doctor friends have infiltrated the NBA. NBA players are most likely to have issues with performance detracting drugs not enhancing.

I applaud you Enty for defending Lamar from the get go on the crack allegations.

No one said he was innocent in respect to any bad behavior regarding his marriage to KK.

Just tired of the Kartrashians trashing people who get fed up with their games. And love it when it backfires.]

PS I see Dewie stated it much better a few posts up.

L-rod said...

^^^ this. If Lamar was smoking crack the way PMK and Khloe the Troll claimed there is no way he would be able to be in physical condition to play in the NBA. I do believe his on something my guess weed laced with heroin not coke.

Jenn said...

Five Mind Blowingly Awful Things About The Kardashians
1. Kris
2. Kim
3. Kourt
4. Khloe
5. Kanye

I'm hooked on Cracked too.

Unknown said...

Cocaine stays in your system 30 days via the hair test, which is what the nba uses.

Pink Cashmere said...

Rumor was that Kris fed that bogus crack story to TMZ. She's a disgusting human. Kloe is the only one that I like. Kim is a nasty hoe.

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