Friday, June 08, 2018

Blind Item #8 - Letters Part Two - A Dancing Boy Blind

(What follows are the recollections of my friend and correspondent, edited for style by us both. Any personal observations are noted as such.)

Like the dancing boy, I never meant to go to Hollywood. In fact, I never even meant to go to Los Angeles. I grew up in one of those midwest capitals where practically everyone works for the state, or at the college, and most people stick around as adults.

But my senior year in high school my dad had a heart attack, and nearly died. His insurance didn't cover all the bills. Paying for even in-state tuition was out of the question. So I reluctantly accepted a scholarship to USC.

I expected it to be all sorority girls in squishy socks with BMWs, and of course there was all that. But it's a big enough place that even a shy, bookish girl like me could make friends, and have fun. (Although try living in LA without a car. It's like being trapped on an island.)

I was an English major, but also a big movie fan. In between classes, I'd hang out at CNTV (what the School of Cinematic Arts was called back then) hoping to meet or at least see someone from Hollywood. I did get to meet George Lucas once at a reception after his lecture. I asked him what he was working on, now that the Star Wars saga was done. He corrected me, saying that the plan was for nine movies, plus three others. He also said though that he was working on a new movie. "What's it about?" I asked. "A duck," he said. "I think it's gonna be big."

I also got to meet John Huston, who didn't look well, and was there I think because they were hitting him up for money. He put his hand on my cheek and told me I had "the eyes of a starlet." I'm sure it made me blush, but it kind of creeps me out now. Did you hear about those accusations against him, and his LA doctor friend? They go back to the forties or fifties, I think. The story is they both gang raped this young girl, about twelve, on the kitchen floor. She was the doctor's daughter. The son believes his father is the black dahlia murderer. She had "the eyes of a starlet" too.

Once, while waiting outside a classroom to get Ron Howard's autograph (he stopped by sometimes as a kind of celebrity teaching assistant), I started reading the bulletin board postings for jobs and things. (Never got the autograph btw. He was whisked off by security at the end of the class because one of his stalkers since childhood was spotted on campus.) In between the ones seeking "attractive young models" and people wanting help with their student movies, there was a notice about internships at this one studio. I copied the information down, and much to my surprise got a call back, then an interview. Somehow, I got the job.

Cut, now, to a few months later. I had spent most of my days shuttling memos between various executives, and others, and bringing them lunch from the commissary. The execs were mostly nice, if they noticed you at all, but I came to resent the smell of sushi. To this day, it is the smell of unpaid labor.

So it came as a great relief when my boss pulled up in his golf cart and told me to get in. There was this audition, he said, and they needed someone to check the actors in.

"What's it for?" I asked.

"A movie," he said. "It isn't ours." He told me the name of the producer, which I recognized, but I'm sure at the time couldn't name a single credit. As if reading my mind, and probably to save me embarrassment, he listed some of his recent movies, which included more than a couple adaptations from a big time novelist.

When we got to the place, one of the numbered stages on the lot, a woman came out and approached the cart.

"Is this the person?" the woman said. Yes, she was told. "Congratulations. You're the third one in almost as many days." She handed me a folder stuffed with files, a blue ink pad, and a star-shaped rubber stamp. "The kids are all here," she said. "Or at least we hope they are. Your job is to check them in." The woman got into the cart, and as they drove off my boss waved his hand at me, wishing me luck. I could hear the woman say, "she's gonna need it."

I went inside, where two men in folding chairs were going over head shots. One of them, I'd later learn, was a consultant known about town as a fixer. The other would be the cameraman for the audition, but he was known primarily - including now to you all - as a photographer. His favorite subject? Surprise! He is now deceased, and has been the subject of at least one past blind. The third person present, a casting assistant, came over to let me know that the actors were gathered outside, and that "they" wanted to get started in "ten" (all fingers raised).

She escorted me to the opposite end of the building, and opened the door to a chaos of boys, almost all of them blond and blue eyed. There were tweens and teens, and all were dressed like surfer kids. One of the boys had brought a boom box and was blasting 7 Seconds' "99 Red Balloons." A group of ten or twelve were gathered around him, slam dancing, a plume of pot smoke rising from the eye of the storm. Another couple kids were kicking a soccer ball against the big door of the opposite stage,  where the bell lights signaled a shoot in progress. There was drinking, and smoking, and needless to say, barely an adult in sight.

Sizing things up, I knew I had to take care of the kickball kids first. "Could you please not do that?" I said to them. Neither listened. I went over and tried to grab the ball. The boy with it fought back. The other one said, "What are you doing lady? He's a big star." (It turned out his stardom rested on a role in...an Atari ad - Cosmic Ark I think it was.) Finally, I wrestled the ball away from him. "You'll get it back after the audition."

"As for the rest of you," I shouted, "you are all in trouble." No one turned around. And, just then, a cart screeched around the corner at top speed, briefly riding on two wheels, and nearly plowing into the crowd. The two boys, both twelve, had stolen it. The one in the passenger seat? At the time he had a role in an episode of a long running family series - one where a number of young actors got their start. He would go on though to become an adult star with a taste for danger. It's hard not to look back at that day and say you couldn't see it coming.

(The only one I recognized, and this was only in retrospect, would have a breakout role on a series a few years later. His sibling on that series would have a major role in another one before long - this was a big hit. He was one of the few obviously nice kids there, sitting against the wall of the stage doing his homework, and eating a banana. I think he was passed over for this one because they saw him as too young. I'm guessing he's probably grateful for that, or should be.)

I stormed back inside and grabbed a bullhorn and some half milk crates from a stage cart, finally ready for crowd control. By the time I got back outside though, the production across the way had been halted, and the director - there to do green screen work for a sci-fi movie filmed in the UK - was standing there, red-faced with anger. Just as he was about to say something though the movie's female star appeared, in costume, and one by one the boys stopped what they were doing, and turned to look at her. Her icy stare, and bad a** image, was enough - like if mom was also an action hero.  The boys began dropping their cigarettes, crushing them with the soles of their shoes, and pouring out their beers.

Then she summoned me over with her finger. I was terrified. When I got there I could barely speak, but nervously explained that it was my first day, and had never done anything like this before. She took my hand and said, soothingly, "if you need any more help with them just let me know." I thanked her, and she and the director went back inside.

With a surge of confidence, I took up the bull horn and told the boys that they would be searched by security before entering the stage, and that if any contraband was found they would be sent home or to juvie. By the end of it, I had several crates full: not just the boom box, bong, and soccer ball, but a Gremlins lunch box with a flask full of whiskey, several bags of cocaine (along with a freebase pipe), cigarettes galore, cans of beer, even a copy of "Hustler" magazine. "Where did you get this?" I asked the boy. "My agent buys it for me," he said. Who was his agent? I think you can guess the answer. 

I had them all line up, single file, military style, and one by one I checked them in, stamping their file and the top of one hand with a blue star, and highlighting their name on the list. Then I went over the list to see if anyone was absent. Sure enough, just one. I didn't recognize the absent boy's name but there was an accompanying head shot for each actor, so if I had to go looking for him at least I would know who I was looking for.  (Of course, it's all coming out now how negligent and even complicit Hollywood gatekeepers could be about not protecting kids from abuse. But this being the 80s, when missing children were all over the news, as well as milk cartons, Hollywood had to seem like it had at least a nominal concern about literally not losing people's children.)

I left the boys with a casting assistant, then called his agent first though to see if he had maybe just bailed on the audition. The woman who answered was rude to me, apparently offended that she had to take time out of her day to help find a missing child, and even more so to be talking to an intern about it. After being on hold for at least ten minutes, she told me the boy had been dropped off at the studio a half hour earlier.

"Do you know where?" I asked her, or something like that.

"And how would I know that?"

"He's your client."

"He's your problem now," she said, and hung up. I took the cart that the two boys had been driving, and a walkie talkie, and made the rounds of the backlot. Finally, a tip came in: someone had reported two llamas loose on the lot. I knew it had to be him.

When I got there, he was talking to the animals, and sharing his slurpee with them.

"*****," I asked.

"Yeah?"

"This is not a petting zoo," I said.

"They looked sad," he replied.

"I think you're supposed to be at an audition," I said.

"Couldn't find it," he said.

I asked why he didn't ask someone for directions.

He joked, in reply, that he was practicing as lost boy for the eventual role of lost man, in which he wouldn't ask for directions even if his life depended on it.

"You know you're in a lot of trouble now," I told him.

"How come?"

"These animals don't belong to you. You let them out of their trailer."

"I liberated them," he said.

I grabbed him by the ear, and pulled him into the cart. Just then though the posse arrived: security, the studio shrink, and the owner of the llamas himself...

Stay tuned for the final part...coming on Monday!

67 comments:

sandybrook said...

Hey Dancing Boy do you know Ace at Blind Gossip? No? Why don't you go over there and sell this batch of crap to him.

sandybrook said...

Between your agenda and Hedge's geesus. And now INSIDERHER too with her vegan b.s.

#TEAMGEELJIRE CLASSIC said...

Fuck you Sandy, Saturn worshipper

sandybrook said...

Go back to your basement and take your fucking pills you brain damaged jackass.

#TEAMGEELJIRE CLASSIC said...

The elderly and their dementia, innit?
Sunrise, sunset.

#TEAMGEELJIRE CLASSIC said...

Sandy wanna meet my new friends in E. Williamsburg next time you're in NYC.
I am going to give you that stroke that'll send you straight to hell, and not even the kinky bathhouse type from Rebbe.

cheesegrater15 said...

Jesus, tl;dr. Somebody call Reader's Digest.

sandybrook said...

Goatfucker as We said to you before anytime you have a problem with me use the e-mail and I'll fly you the fuck down here to settle it face-to-face. Does your damaged brain understand simple instructions like that? If it doed, and you don't follow instructions you need to STFU understand?

More Cowbell said...

I think this was entertaining! No idea who the young actors were, though.

sandybrook said...

East Williamsburg that's hilarious. Fucking imbecilic brain damaged POS.

#TEAMGEELJIRE CLASSIC said...

Post it square boy

#TEAMGEELJIRE CLASSIC said...

Do you mind if Uncle Donny T sends some Praetorian with me?

sandybrook said...

Use the last no in my blogger page goatfucker, I'm waiting.

#TEAMGEELJIRE CLASSIC said...

There's no rush Sandy, it's almost Shabbot anyway.

sandybrook said...

Pussy

longtimereader said...

I got bored halfway though the article and decided to read the responses. Apparently it's still too boring to bother answering them. Next.

#TEAMGEELJIRE CLASSIC said...

Sandy you will be probably the 15th person to attack me during Ramadan.
The 15 others fell before me, alhamdulillah.
See you😎

filmfanb said...

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. How is everyones Friday?

#TEAMGEELJIRE CLASSIC said...

Sandy I'm gonna copy enty on the mail ok?

Shawny said...

This one is well written and very interesting, though I’m afraid of where it’s going...

sandybrook said...

Do whatever you want if you're mentally capable of doing it, which I doubt. Answer this question finally goatfucker for everyone to see: fourth time asking: Are you idiot savant or just an idiot too afraid to leave mommy's basement because your mouth gets the shit kicked out of you anytime you open it?

VikingSong said...

Back on topic, I got the vibe that the boy was in the film "Lost Boys." That's it.

Sara, Making It Work said...

I've been waiting for an update on the llama saga. Fun story. No idea on any of it, except what we already know (movie auditions are Manhunter, llama owner, well, duh.)

Sara, Making It Work said...

You could just not read it. But you commented and summoned a shitstorm. Fun times.

nonyabusiness said...

Final part on Monday? I'm looking forward to it just so I don't have to see any more Dancing Boy BIs again.

mike m said...

Hey sandy, you big fat bag of festering pus.

I'm down your way and would gladly act as a proxy for G, logistics and all that.

DM me so I can beat your ass Trump Style!

Cadmium77 said...

Actually I enjoyed this post.

Red Photography said...

This one was actually one of the better written Dancing Boy entries.

sandybrook said...

Put up a link clown my link is free to the blogger world. Use it.

riffer73 said...

This is a good blind. Punks, pedophilia, scummy Hollywood people, all we need is a rapper or two.

Sara, Making It Work said...

Dancing Boy himself could have been the llama liberator. Who knows? We shall see.

Queen of Pith said...

You mean "llama lliberator"

Glitter said...

Yeah, this was a good, interesting blind. Wonder where the parents were

NancyFromNebraska said...

Wow - that escalated quickly, didn't it?

Regarding the BI itself, I'm leaning towards Corey Haim as the kiddo and Michael Jackson as the llama-owner. Beyond that, I've got nothin'.

Sara, Making It Work said...

It was the 80s. *shrug*

Sara, Making It Work said...

This says Letters part 2, but is also an extension of another Dancing Boy blind. Just from a different perspective. I don't remember the name, but the llamas are featured.

#TEAMGEELJIRE CLASSIC said...

A rich and mighty Persian once walked in his garden with one of his servants. The servant cried that he had just encountered Death, who had threatened him. He begged his master to give him his fastest horse so that he could make haste and flee to Teheran, which he could reach that same evening. The master consented and the servant galloped off on the horse. On returning to his house the master himself met Death, and questioned him, “Why did you terrify and threaten my servant?” “I did not threaten him; I only showed surprise in still finding him here when I planned to meet him tonight in Teheran,” said Death.

Sara, Making It Work said...

@Queen, you are correct! Llama Lliberator it is!

SeeDanRun said...

"a sci-fi movie filmed in the UK . . . the movie's female star appeared, in costume . . . icy stare, and bad a** image . . . like if mom was also an action hero"

Aliens and Sigourney Weaver?

MeliticusBee said...

This was in 1984.
Guessing Kirk Cameron for the nice kid.
Maybe Paul Walker for daredevil.
Aliens, sigourney weaver for sci-fi mom.

T. W. said...

@Geeljire

Thank you.

@author of this blind

I think the story could have been organized better or broken up into more than 2 parts. Not every one here read well (language barriers, dyslexia, cognitive issues, chronic pain and other neurological issues).

Sher said...

@Meliticus

I think it would have been 1985 (or after) as the "7 seconds" song wasn't released until 1985.

Sigourney for the icy-mom seems right.
I also thought Grace Jones was possible doing "View To A Kill" but that prob wouldn't be described as "sci-fi" even though it has many elements of it.

The producer with several movies from a big Novelist points to Dino De Laurentis/Stephen King though I cannot see any of his movies at this time calling for a surfer-type. Cory Haim was in one of them (Silver Bullet) but that was released in Oct 1985 making the timing pretty tight from audition to release.

The llamas are obviously supposed to be MJ's. (did he have more than one llama?)

NoNONO said...

@Geeligoatfucker how many little boys and girls get molested for Ramadamn as per your prophet Mohammed?

#TEAMGEELJIRE CLASSIC said...

Nice try

Sara, Making It Work said...

CHAD ALLEN for the nice kid.

Fits the description, blond, blue eyed. Born in '74 (about a year younger than Dancing Boy himself, so the "too young" thing fits).

Breakout role was on Our House, TV sibling was Shannen Doherty whose big hit 90210 came a bit later.

I agree with Paul Walker for the golf cart kid. Age & description fits.

Also agree with Sigourney Weaver/ Aliens/ James Cameron.

Sara, Making It Work said...

@Sher

This is a continuation of two previous blinds.

The movie audition was Manhunter. Incidentally, the actor who got the part was David Seaman.

And yes, MJ's llamas.

Sher said...

@Sara,

Thanks! I do remember it now. You all have better memory skills than I do...and I think I actually wrote the answer list of that blind!


Note to cdan: I would expect writers to provide links if they want to continue a detailed story over many weeks or months.

Thonker said...

@sandy at least hedge writes about real stuff that matters cause these assholes he writes about get away with so much and never seem to get punished. It's unreal

Sher said...

Does anyone else find it odd that this big-movie-fan writer applied for and then only 'reluctantly' took a FULL scholarship at USC?

I say FULL because unless every single thing was paid for, it wouldn't save money over just staying home.

I could see someone very shy or introverted having anxieties about leaving home. L.A. would certainly be an intimidating destination.
Perhaps that is the case here.
But then, why apply there? (+ extra effort trying for a scholarship?)

Southern Man said...

Those two groups have been fighting for thousands of years.... it will never end. Until the END.

sandybrook said...

The problem is thonker Hedge manipulates markets to his advantage, destroys little people lije you and me in the process and has no fucks to give about doing it. That's my problem with him and his social "awareness" he doesn't give 2 fucks. It's about him and his investors and nothing else, and yes I know he did the doc film.

Dane said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dane said...

Happy Ramadan Geeljire

More Cowbell said...

About the writer taking a scholarship out of state -- some high school students simply don't want to leave there state, maybe especially so if their dad is sick. We know a high school kid from Michigan who could get into California universities and we tried to convince her to come out, but her main goal was staying as close to home as possible.

NorCal Norm said...

Solid blind, I enjoyed the read. I anxiously await monday to see the outcome. I will agree with @Sher if this is a continuation would be nice to include links to the previous blinds so I could read them before diving into the new one.

Southern Man said...

I think it's pretty well established that Huston was a sick, apex predator.

bianca said...

Yeah, I cannot imagine someone qualifying for a full-scholarship to a 1st tier private school, but not to their state school, even if it's a 1st tier Big 10.

plot said...

@Gee

"I am going to give you that stroke that'll send you straight to hell, and not even the kinky bathhouse type from Rebbe."

Oh the spirit of Ramadan, it glows around you!

plot said...

@nonyabusiness

"DM me so I can beat your ass Trump Style!"

With tiny little fists of fury?

plot said...

Anyone who actually read this monster who can do a TLDR?

Where is Brayson?

Gylly said...

Haaaa! 😂

Mo said...

George Lucas’ big duck flick is Howard the Duck. I zoned out after that. Guessing the persons name is maybe Corey? There were 5 *****

Sara, Making It Work said...

Gusmano Cesaretti for the camera man/ photographer (I believe this was established in the previous blind).
Don't know the famous subject, but he was known for gritty street life photos. In L.A. & abroad.

Melvin The Reanimated said...

Dino De Luarentiis for the producer, having just done several Stephen King adaptations

Spudmonkey said...

sandybrook is a festering cunt

Itttt said...

Great, now we have DB Douche Bag Dancing Boy writing fake witness blinds as "support" for his Lifetime movie pitches err "blind items". FAKE NEWS.

Itttt said...

"Stay tuned for the final part...coming on Monday!"

NO

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