Friday, August 28, 2009

Your Turn

As we head into the last two weekends of summer, I thought we would do something kind of deep this week and then next week something really fun and light. This week I was having a conversation with someone that was Sliding Doors-ish. It wasn't about making a train or anything like that but about events in life which would have caused you to meet or not meet people.

So, my questions for you today are:

The person you met who you wish you had never met and the person you are most grateful to have met.

I don't want these to be family members, but rather people you have met in the course of your life.

40 comments:

Kara said...

Ted Kennedy I was so happy to have met and worked for. I had a lot of opportunities that opened for me because of that job that I never would have had otherwise. Not even close.

I wish I had never met my ex boyfriend. I was on a completely different path and let myself get swept away by him. Oh well. I've got a couple of cute pets out of that one.

Ms Cool said...

The one person who I could say I wish I never met led me to the person that I am most grateful to have met. So I don't know how to rectify that.

I had an ex-boyfriend who was emotionally cruel - I was vulnerable after a broken engagement. About the time I decided I was better off without him, he was diagnosed with leukemia. I took care of him and stayed with until he died. I was only 23. He was manipulatively mean and his family was toxic.

However, if I hadn't been through that, I wouldn't have been at the place where I changed my life and went back to college and met my husband. I know you said no family members but there isn't even a close second to anyone I am more grateful to meeting. Meeting him made me feel worthy of being loved and grateful to feel love again in my heart.

kimi said...

Ms Cool, Thank you, that made me hopeful today.

Pandora said...

I wish I had never met my psychiatrist. She made me get rid of my alter ego, who is the person I was most glad to have met - funny little devil, she was.

I really miss the voice in my head.

Kara said...

Pandora - I like your answer.

RocketQueen said...

Person I wish I had never met - con man boyfriend (for about a year) who ripped me off. For obvious reasons.

Most grateful to have met - I guess time will tell. I guess I'll say my two half-sisters who I didn't learn about until I was about 20. I was grateful to learn of their existence and to get to meet them although that was the last thing my parents wanted. I was also able to give them closure on what type of person my dad was, since they grew up without him.

Quintessential Southerner said...

ms cool, you are a better person than i. not sure if i would have stuck around to care for someone that cruel.

but i have not been in your situation, so i just assume i wouldn't.

merrick said...

His name was Tony and he was the love of my life, my soul mate and the worst mistake I ever made all rolled up into a great looking Italian male. He sang to me from outside my window, asked me to marry him, and then cocaine got a hold of him and changed him and our relationship forever. He became a dealer and I became his enabler. It wasnt until I read The Celestine Prophecy that I realized that this man was poison to me. As hard as it was, I had to let him go. And I did. I ran into him a couple months back after 3 years of no contact. My heart still skipped a beat, but my mind was strong enough to over come and move on. He hadnt changed, but I had. Thank God. He will always hold a special place in my heart, because without him, I would not be the person I am today.

Ms Cool said...

Kimi - I am glad my story can give you some hope.

Quint Southerner - I had royally been dumped by my fiance and kind of just clung to the next guy interested. I was young and stupid. I stayed with him because I didn't know how to break up with a sick person. Me at 38 would not do the same thing me at 23 would do.

diatribes and dish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
diatribes and dish said...

Mine is kind of like Ms. Cool's ... I was in love with guy for 5 years; he was unavailable and had no regard for me and my feelings; our entire relationship was controlled by him. It took recovering from someone like him, and re-establishing my self-esteem, to realize how absolutely wonderful my husband is. So while I wish I never met the bastard, it was my experience with him that prepared me for my relationship with my sweetie.

ali said...

Mine is more Sliding Doors-ish than the person I wish I had met/never met:

A few months into my relationship with my husband, we realized that we had been on the same cruise about four years earlier. I wonder what would have happened if we had met then instead of years later. When we met, I was 29 and he was 28 with a 8-year-old son. But at 25, would I have wanted to date someone with a 4-year-old? Maybe, but probably not. I was young and didn't want to think about kids yet. But what if I did...how would our lives be different than they are now? And if I didn't, and if we re-met years later, would that first meeting cause us to not have a relationship? Hmmm...

kelly said...

I have to say it is the same person...I met him when he came to work for our company. It was a time in my life I was feeling very hemmed in. There was NEVER anything sexual to our friendship, he was always at our house or we were out and were the best of friends for 10 years (with the blessing of my husband)

Then he met a woman and, while she was great with me before they got married, once they were married things changed and, after completely humiliating me in front of a bunch of people one night, told him he couldn't see me anymore that I was "kicked out of the circle" cause she didn't trust us.

It really did break my heart (the one and only time in my life thank god) so, in a sense, I am glad he reminded me I wasn't just a wife and mother but a person and got me out of the house but sad that it finished so badly.

AnonMom said...

I can't say I wish to have never met anyone, because I believe that everyone you meet comes to you for a reason. That being said, I'm most grateful I met my abusive ex-husband, because now as a single mom I have a wonderful life that I am so grateful and appreciative for having.

Beth said...

The person I wish I had never met was a former fiance - emotionaly abusive, unsure of his sexuality and a Scientologist to boot. I broke it off after nearly two years.

The person I am most glad to have met was a woman who was pulling her moving van into my yard while she was moving in to the house across the street. She has been a best friend, sister in spirit and supporter in my life for the last 13 years - can't say I'd be where I am without her.

Angie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Angie said...

glad I met: a stranger who approached me at a neighborhood pool that saw I was too self-conscious to remove my cover up...she came up to me and said, "you are a beautiful woman and you needed to hear that today"

Wish I hadn't met: Keith and I'll leave it at that.

DNfromMN said...

Glad I met: I had a friend that I met while on my study abroad, she was my across-the-hall neighbor in the dorm. I've never been more comfortable with a person before -- we were essentially the same person, but took different paths, whereas I played it safe my whole life, she gave in to her urges. We envied each other's choices. Unfortunately, I lost her phone number, she moved, and her email address doesn't work anymore.

Sad I Met: I'm sure there's someone, but I can't think of it off the top of my head

Lioness70 said...

I'm glad I met two of my ex-boyfriends. I would have had great marriages with them, but for lots of reasons, I couldn't be with them. Sad, but I never regretted either of those relationships, which is hard for me to claim, since there's a lot of losers in my past.

I wish I never met a lot of people in hubs' family, specifically a BIL and two SILs. They're all douches, but the women are a special brand of nasty. They've added nothing to my life except stress, grief, and heartache. They need to crawl back into the pit they slithered out of and stay there.

Lioness70 said...

Oh sugar. I missed the part where you said no family. Well, they weren't my family at one point in my life, so that counts, doesn't it?

Judi said...

Never met: An old boyfriend who effed up my life so much it changed who I am.
Have met: My husband. Kindest person ever.

Victoria Phantasmagoria said...

The person I wish I'd never met was my creepy stalker. He called out to me as I was riding my bicyle one day, and I stopped and spoke to him. Why didn't I ignore him and keep on going?
The person I'm most grateful to have met is my husband. We fell in love at first sight and have been happily together for twelve years now. Yay!

Tea Lady said...

I wish I'd never met the person who assaulted me in my teenage years.

Since Enty said not family, I won't say my partner. Instead I'll say the person I am most grateful to have met was Kay Wojak. She was a teacher at my high school who encouraged me to follow my dreams and sadly died way too young of cancer.

Miranda said...

The person I'm most grateful to have met is my best friend. If it hadn't have been for him, I would have remained friendless and directionless in college. Because of him, I discovered my strengths as a journalist, met a huge group of friends, and ended up moving to my current city (where I work in the best job in the world). He completely changed the direction of my life for the better and for that I will be eternally grateful.

This is going to sound like a cop-out but there isn't anyone I wish I'd never met. Good or bad, all the people I've met have helped make me me ... and I love me, so no regrets. Even the worst, sociopathic, shitty people I've know have led me to something better.

Big Sur Expedition 2008! said...

All of these made me tear up. I have pms. But they are so very honest and true. Thanks for sharing. :)

cookie said...

the person i wish i had never met is my previous boss. he sexually harassed me and six other co-workers for almost a year before we all started reporting it. his boss allowed him to remain our manager (after telling him who had complained against him) for four months until the company's EOC made the company fire him. My life has been complete shit at work since we reported it, as it has for the other six girls. I'm trying to get another job but my previous boss's boss has been making that difficult.

the person i'm most grateful to have met is my boyfriend. he is the balance to my life, he makes me smile, and he pushes me to be better and do better in every aspect of my life. he doesn't let me put up with crap. he is amazing, humble, kind, and driven. i love him so much.

genesis said...

My ex bf, he was my first serious relationship and he was an ass the entire time. Never satisfied me sexually so it wasn't even worth it.

My best friend, U. She's helped me through so much this past year.

Nosey Parker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vicki said...

I wish I'd never met that asshole Albanian bastard in uni. I hope he gets the herp from Paris Hilton. I also wish I'd never met the pompous Canadian here in Korea. They are both why I don't trust men.


I'm really glad I met my best friend in New Hampshire. I worked with her when I interned with the Red Cross. She's the most awesome person ever.

MoodyBlueEyes said...

I'd have to say it's one in the same. My ex husband. He dragged me straight through hell and back, and years later I'm still dealing with issues from our relationship. However, without him I never would have received the most important thing in my life: my daughter. And also the strength and wisdom that I've gained by being through such a difficult and miserable marriage.

Jamie's Girl said...

I've worked with some tools that were the biggest pieces of shit. One had the gall to compare me to Richard Nixon behind my back, to my boss. What a bitch! She tried to cut my throat every chance, and it would work sometimes, but I never cared much.

I'm so grateful I met my husband. He changed my life in such a positive way. I hated football, and we met at a Fantasy Football draft. Needless to say, he taught me to love football .Now I'm a big fan.

Virginia Lee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Virginia Lee said...

My first college roomie is the person I wish I'd never met. She was a drug-using whore thief who, when I finally threw the hag out, had her drug dealer boyfriend and his cronies harass me by banging on my windows in the middle of the night and egging my car several times.

HOWEVER, I am also very glad to have known that girl because when I threw her out the friend who moved in turned out to be such a great person that a few years ago when I was gravely ill with undiagnosed cancer, he saved my life by getting me to medical care hundreds of miles from where I was living.

And the new roomie? He's the one person I'm gladdest to have met. He's why I'm alive now.

Katja said...

I can relate to most of the comment because I've been through most of the bad things.
When I read Mooskies link to dj am i felt kinship to him. The reason -self image. And if I look back at pictures of myself as a child and see the sad eyes, put them away and blank it out.

I love denial. I have always been called the girl with the rose colored glasses. I guess I'm mid age and have to call it out.+

I don't want to be the 4 year old the Dad kicked so much that we ran away, I don't want to have been so depressed in HS that I sat in a car at the Hospital crying, willing myself to check in bc I was so sad. And I acted happy. The coke addict bf-nope. the rape nope. all gone. the ptsd. that I can't get rid of.

Best ever- my dear Hubby- at one time - instant loml for both of us. we knew the night we met. he had a stroke (before 40) from a sinus rx and was in bed for a year then slowly got better but went through a of personality changes (against character ) we had some moments before he got his personality back. He is now a cantankorous but funny and joking bastard- i still love him .- oddly- lol

Wow. I normally don't share, it's to complicated and even though I don't check the 'let me know about the replies to the post' box I lurk and I'm "in Like" with all of you. ok I'll check the box this time. I kinda nervous though but heck.

Is there anyone else who has a brain injured person they love/ eek- i'm not used to sharing.

lanac said...

My bf. I was severely deppressed and he brought me out of my shell and helped me grow as a person. We have been together 5 years now and all my friends are in love with him because he is the nicest person ever. The worst person would be either my first bf who was emotionally/physically mean or my older sister who is the same. However, looking back on my 1st bf i would laugh at him if he even tried to approach me or my friends and i know my sister is envious of my happy relationship and new found confidence. I mean she used to call me ugly all the time and now family friends come up and tell me how much i have grown up and am more beautiful then my sister (who is model pretty by society standards while i am "healthy").

Lissa THEEE Pissa said...

This is a tough one, simply because of how I have come to think of life's decisions. So many people talk about 'making the right decision,' to which I started wondering, 'how does one KNOW if the decision is right or not?' I mean, it's not like we can see the future and can see how each decision would play out! For that reason, I don't believe there is such a thing as 'the right decision.'
That being said, I don't think I could really name anyone I wished I HADN'T met because my life might be totally different right now. I sometimes say I wish I had never met my ex, but he is my daughter's father and if I hadn't been stupid enough to give him a second chance, I never would have met my current husband (they worked together) and I wouldn't have my 2 youngest children.
Now, the person I am most grateful to have met....That's a tough one. No family, Enty? Other than family, I don't think I've met him or her yet...

shakey said...

Katja, we's family here.

I'm basically with Lissa's philosophy - life can be played out so many ways.

I'm glad to have met most of the people I have. If I have to pin it down, I'll say 2 - 1. my friend's mother and, 2. the woman I used to babysit for regularly. They both showed me what a normal mother is like. Both very kind, funny, and loving.

People I wish I never met - see last week's Your Turn, lol! I understand the philosophy of everyone teaching you something, but those two bitches? They can rot in hell. Every time I hear we're getting new outside staff, I live in fear of meeting the worst one again. Wish me luck, because we're supposed to be getting 2 new hires soon.

Here Right Now said...

hmmm..... i

Cor said...

If I can't choose my family (it would be my hubby hands down) I will have to say my friend Heidi. She was the friend I had always wanted when I needed one the most. Those teen years are hard and having a best friend like her made it so much easier than it could have been. We've had our ups and downs in our relationship but she is probably the one person (aside from family) who has helped form me into the person I am today. Second place on that would be my other friend Paulette. She's had a major influence on some positive changes in my life, she believed in me when I didn't believe in myself, and it's because of her I now do.

Wish I never met? Are you SURE we can't put family in here? I wish I never met one of my neighbors. They are all awesome except for one gossipy, bitchy one. I only moved here a year and a half ago and on the first day of school she pointed out ever mothers flaw on the playground. She is a total hosebag. I stay distant from her because she's the type of chick I want nothing to do with.

__-__=__ said...

Dick Gregory - He influenced my health in such a positive manner. He told everyone unbelievable things that every bit of research proved to be true. He spoke frankly and without reservation on several topics that just lessened any fear I might have had of life. And just looking at him provided the greatest example. I will always wish him and his family the best!

Never met - My friend who is in an abusive relationship. We're way too old for any of this. I find that I can offer support but must sit back and watch this horror evolve. It's not too physical yet but I know it will get worse. I truly hate watching this and feel so helpless. She has been isolated from most everyone now, out on 20 acres way far from town. This is not good. I want to think women are strong now and won't put up with any of that, in my fairy tale world.