Thursday, August 27, 2009

Jason Biggs Gets Attacked By Ape While Celebrating American Pie


The headline sounds ridiculous and if I hadn't seen the story in The Telegraph I probably wouldn't have believed it. First of all the background of the story blows my mind. Jason Biggs and Eddie Kaye Thomas took a trip to Europe. Why? To celebrate the tenth anniversary of American Pie. Seriously? That is a reason to take a trip to Europe. So for the tenth anniversary of American Pie Two it's a trip to the Cayman Islands and for AP3 it's McDonald's with the cast?

What Jason should be doing is not blowing his money on a European vacation, but instead trying to find a job before all his post AP money runs dry.

Anyway, Jason and Eddie were on Gibraltar looking at the monkeys when Jason got attacked by one. Smart monkey. It knows bad acting when it sees it. Jason's friends drove the monkey away, but not before the monkey showed Jason the proper way to have sex with a pie.

Although not injured at all, Jason decided to cut short his trip to Europe and went back home to the US. Seriously? He didn't even get injured or bitten or scratched and he goes home? What kind of wuss move is that? Everyone knows you do not go home early from a vacation. Spend it in the hospital if needed, but no one leaves a vacation early.

13 comments:

whole_lotto _luv said...

Wait a minute, does this mean the monkey tried to sexually assault him?

Mooshki said...

LMAO! From what Alison Hannigan said, though, I doubt anyone from American Pie is going to run out of money any time soon.

BigMama said...

This is priceless! I can't wait to unload this gem at the next watercooler gathering.....

Quintessential Southerner said...

he needs to thank God, it was not an adult chimpanzee or he would have lost some digits and limbs.

ElsieFire said...

I have been there, and those monkeys are cah-ray-zay!

I was holding my video camera filming the view, and all of a sudden the camera starts jumping around and there's this mad shrieking in the background, "Monkey on my head! Monkey on my head!"

And then much laughter from those surrounding me, for those shrieks were mine. My freshly minted husband could barely breathe he was laughing so hard, not to mention the very amused taxi driver who had set up this lovely encounter.

So, if this was Jason Biggs experience, I understand the trauma sir, and I salute you.

RocketQueen said...

Yeah, I don't get the whole "ending the vacation" thing, either. Methinks there might be more to the story. Gawd I'm a cynical, untrusting bitch.

Karmen said...

No! It's true! The monkeys at Gibraltar are evil!! I studied abroad in Spain, and some friends in my group went to Gibraltar on a weekend trip. They stole my friend's sandwich and hit her in the face with it.

He's an idiot to go home after that. What a pussy.

ardleigh said...

I can't see leaving a vacation over that. Getting your friends to buy you drinks in the hotel bar I could see. Going home to pout like a punk --- no.

I call more to the story. Maybe the monkey pulled a Barry White. SHO' YOU RIGHT.

sunnyside1213 said...

Where was his new wife?

nunaurbiz said...

Sorry, as someone who loves gorillas, have to point out that monkeys are NOT apes.

Jerry said...

From what Alison Hannigan said, though, I doubt anyone from American Pie is going to run out of money any time soon.

And let's also not forget his stellar work in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

OK, I'm sorry. I just like Kevin Smith so much that I'll put out a gratuitous reference any chance I get.

Leah said...

What did Alison H say?

Vitriol said...

OMG that's awful, I really hope the poor fellow is alright. I definitely think he should have a tetanus jab and checks for rabies - perhaps they ought to do checks on Jason too or maybe just shoot him seeing he is a dangerous animal :–|

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