Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Melanie Griffith Has Her Annual Physical - At Rehab


There really is no way anymore that I can read or type the word rehab without thinking of the Amy Winehouse song. Well, presumably Melanie Griffith didn't tell Antonio Banderas, "no, no, no" because she has checked herself into rehab and will be there for the foreseeable future.

Oh, this isn't because she is addicted to any type of drug or dependent on alcohol or anything like that. Nope. According to what is possibly the best spin on rehab ever, her spokesperson said, "She is there to reinforce her commitment to stay healthy. This is part of a routine plan that was designed between her and her doctors years ago."

Much like the rest of us who go to the doctor once a year and the dentist twice a yer, Melanie has planned all this in advance. It is probably like clockwork. Next August while her family vacations somewhere, Melanie will once again check into rehab. Last year it was in one place and this year it is in Utah. Some people like to stay at all the golf resorts in the world and Melanie has a goal to stay at all the rehab facilities in the world. "Oooh, this one has yoga during the meetings. Is that downward facing dog? Hi, I'm Melanie and I'm an alcoholic."

Last year Melanie and her daughter Dakota Johnson tried this as a mother daughter event to spend some quality time together and reinforce their commitment to being a great family, but Dakota didn't need that reinforcement this year so Melanie is on her own. Maybe she could give Ryan O'Neal a call. He could probably use a good month of getting healthy. Redmond could go as well and join in when Ryan needs a breather.

21 comments:

lmnop123 said...

Isn't this the same Melanie that was the answer to the B.I. for the mom who watches her kids every move so that they don't turn out like her?

Yeah, okay.

Cecilia00 said...

Could Melanie be the infamous Coke Mom??

Paisley said...

How did I miss the news that Melanie and Dakota went to rehab last year?

captivagrl said...

she's looking "ruff"

Liz said...

I read somewhere yesterday afternoon that she went in to save her marriage. Antonio said get to rehab or get lost.

jax said...

ya i'll never forget the pic of Melanie lighting Dakota's cigarette for her...classy. how quickly they go from warming up a bottle to lighting up a Camel Light.

califblondy said...

I still can't believe Antonio has stayed with her for this long.

I've never heard of rehab tune-ups before this. I think it's crap that this was the doctor's plan years ago.

Christine! said...

I feel sorry for her.

Plastic surgery, multiple marriages, kids galore and unable to hang.

I wonder if you took the average worker in China and told them this story and showed them this picture- they would be DUMSTRUCK on what to say.

You get what you pay for Melanie.

Merlin D. Bear said...

Cecelia: Doubt it, I think Melanie is beyond childbearing years.
However I think you're on the right track, I just don't have the patience to plow through all the blinds to figure out which one she's the answer to.
However I'm thinking it's something that got mentioned a while back about an actress and an extended rehab stint - but I could be wrong, caffiene levels are nowhere near optimal right now.

Sinjin said...

I've always thought Antonio married down, way, waaaay down. He could have done soooooo much better!

I'll get in line for him, I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. I'm not a bimbo either, but I do have some skills :-) lol.

__-__=__ said...

Why would you need drugs if you were married to Antonio?!?!??!?

sunnyside1213 said...

What does he see in her?

Pookie said...

good for antonio if indeed he put his foot down on this...and wow, great spin from melanie's people. *takes notes*

nancer said...

this story is getting to be the one they use when they enter rehab these days. they're not ON anything. it's just a 'tune up.'

uh, no. you go to a spa to relax and reconnect with yourself or whatever. you do NOT go to rehab.
she's been on one thing or another since she was a kid.
and her hubby's no hero. didn't he dump his wife for this bimbo?

Anonymous said...

Never liked Melanie always thought of her as a bimbo with that mousy voice of hers. Antonio he left his wife for this thing so no great thoughts on Antonio either.

ardleighstreet said...

Wow does she look B-A-D. I never got why Antonio stayed with her. It must be LOVE cause I've seen people look better after a 3 day bender then she does in that photo.

Anonymous said...

She looks like Candy Spelling.

blondegossip said...

I taught Dakota to ski in Aspen when she was a very little girl. Melanie and/or Don (depending on who was sober enough to organize the nannies) sent her to ski school in a limo. They never came to see her ski. First thing she ever said? "Don Johnson is my daddy." It was pathetic. This was when Melanie first started seeing Antonio-that summer they went rafting (worked there summers/ski school winters, nice life for a bit) & came wearing jeans w/cigarettes/lighters - we gave them drybags/ziplocks for ciggies but they were very upset to learn they'd actually, gasp!, get wet rafting. he was as dumb as she was, but much prettier. Don Johnson? just a bloated ass.

blondegossip said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blondegossip said...

I taught Dakota to ski in Aspen when she was a very little girl. Melanie and/or Don (depending on who was sober enough to organize the nannies) sent her to ski school in a limo. They never came to see her ski. First thing she ever said? "Don Johnson is my daddy." It was pathetic. This was when Melanie first started seeing Antonio-that summer they went rafting (worked there summers/ski school winters, nice life for a bit) & came wearing jeans w/cigarettes/lighters - we gave them drybags/ziplocks for ciggies but they were very upset to learn they'd actually, gasp!, get wet rafting. he was as dumb as she was, but much prettier. Don Johnson? just a bloated ass.

Angel heart8k said...

Ok, old Mels, is looking rough, wonder how she keeps Antonio???

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