Stephen Beatty Having Second Thoughts About Gender Reassignment
It is a huge stpe in life that Stephen Beatty is considering in life and apparently he is not quite ready to take that final step in his gender reassignment. So far he has resisted and has been talking lately about he is missing some of his femininity like wearing makeup and heels. I can't imagine having to make the decision and I think that is one of the reasons Warren Beatty and Annette Bening took their time even discussing it publicly or being fully on board with it. It is not something that is easily undone and Stephen is only 20 years old. At least Chaz Bono was much older when he made that decision. This is a lifetime we are talking about and when you are 20 years old you are talking about a very long life. Take a year or two or five to make sure it is exactly what and who you want to be for the rest of your life. There is no harm in waiting and thinking it all out.
48 comments:
Poor kid, thats alotta shit to slog thru at such young age. Enty right, take your time, and I wish u well.
Either way, it looks like a very supportive family.
Enty, thank you for writing about a transgender topic respectfully. I hope it sets an example for the commenters today.
I just love hearing about parents supporting their kids. I think a person can get through just about anything surrounded by unconditional love.
Oh, what a beautiful face. A child of famous folk that I can easily like. (Mia Farrow's son is the other).Take you're time, sweetheart. I can barely remember 20.
Feel for him! What a thing to go through! Wishing him the best and I agree with Enty, take your time!!! You have a lifetime! I thank God when children have supportive parents! What a difference the world would be if all parents could support their children with love and devotion.
Blessings to the family as they cope with the life-changing decisions that have to be made. Poor kid needs as much time, peace and serenity to decide on the right path.
I second Adventurous Kate's post. Glad to see that, so far, the comments are respectful. I was taken aback when reading many of the ones following the post about the Against Me! singer. What a tough road. All the best to the family.
Poor kid. I'm glad his parents are so supportive.
Isn't this the exact reason why people undergoing gender reassignment have to do a year of counseling and living full-time as that gender?
I thought that a while back it was revealed that Warren Beatty was not so supportive of this and that was causing problems between him an Annette?
This is probably the best decision given Steven's age and I really feel for the kid. As time progresses then the best course may become clearer. There is still so much yet to know about sexuality,gender and preferences. I find it highly fascinating. I am happy to see there is more support for this and I hope that only continues to grow. I think there is more to it than just the cookie cutter molds of hetero and homosexuality.
Stephen Beatty should take his time with the surgery. I knew 2 transgendered women who lived as a woman and took the final step to have the surgery. Both committed suicide within 5 yrs of the surgery. I know one of them regretting doing the surgery despite the years of therapy you must go thru before having the surgery. And all due respect, the surgery for females to males is not as good as the males to female. Its easier to make a vagina out of penis than vice versa.
I am loving all the supportive comments for Stephen.
Twenty is so young, take your time.....
Perhaps Warren's finally calmed down and realized that his child's happiness is what's most important? I certainly hope that's the case.
Poor kid--it's hard enough being young and trying to figure out your life, but gender issues make it so much harder...You've got time, so don't rush into anything, especially anything surgical. I wish him all the best, whatever he decides in the end.
(Is it just me, or does it seem as if gender roles and presentation are way too stereotypical sometimes? The whole idea that to be a "man" you have to be fairly rugged and macho, and a "woman" has to be girly-girl feminine...I know, things are better than they used to be in some ways, but in other ways it seems we've fallen back into old habits re: what's socially acceptable for one's particular gender and orientation, and I can't help but think this causes problems for a lot of people trying to figure out their place in the world.)
Perhaps the people who were so hostile to Tommy/Laura ought to actually sit down and read the interview he/she did in Rolling Stone--it might help them realize that it's not a matter of being "selfish" and not caring about family, but of trying to come to terms with one's own nature and how best to live one's life. (I use both pronouns due to the interview being conducted in 2 parts, one with each persona; I believe she's pretty much living as a woman right now.) It's a hell of a hard row to have to hoe, and I'm very thankful that I haven't had to deal with that myself.
I don't mean to sound insensitive here, but if you feel like you were meant to be the opposite sex of which you were born and that's all you dream about, then why fret over the surgery (especially if you can afford it)? I understand that it's a major decision, but if you've already decided that you were born the wrong sex than what else is there to think about. If you feel like a woman, but you refuse to cut off your balls, well then you're not a woman, you're just a cross-dresser. By worrying about whether or not to get the surgery that implies (to me, at least) that one day you may decide you want your penis back. In which case you wasted a lot of time trying to be something that you're really not.
I love you, Barton Fink.
He looks a heck of a lot more masculine than Justin Bieber.
That being said, I wish him the best of luck, that is a big step to take. Hope it works out for him, no matter what way he chooses.
@BartonFink, wonderful comment. Wished you lived next door.
I guess none of these transgendered people ever watched Taxi Cab Confessions, because I specifically remember one where a post op tran sexual was in the cab, and he/she was speaking very honestly. And when asked how sex was after the op, the person admitted he wished he hadn't gone through with it.
I also don't understand, this child has a boyfriend. But since she dresses like a man and wants to be a man defined herself as gay on her twitter.
On the same note, I wish others caught South Park last night. I don't usually watch the show so I don't know if it was a repeat, but they made some very poignant and valid points about all of this chop of my wiener to make a vagina and vice versa business.
Well said, Barton Fink.
crazy/beautiful--read Barton Fink's comments. You make it sound like it's so black and white, and I can't imagine that it's that simple.
This is the most important decision you'll ever make in your entire life. Taking all the time you need is important. Don't let anyone push you in either direction.
Frankly at 20, I didn't know shit.
Barton Fink is one of the most intelligent, level-headed commenters on here. So glad we have him.
Barton Fink's comment FTW.
Well said, BartonFink...you are helping people (like me) understand. Gender reassignment is something I have always struggled to understand; I am a Christian (not conservative, not uptight) and I just have a hard time wrapping my head around someone feeling as if they were born the wrong gender...because I personally don't believe God makes mistakes. Does that sound wrong? Do any others have thoughts on that?
I do believe that sexual preference is something you're born with, not that you decide, so reading BF's comment helps me to put it into perspective - maybe it isn't becoming the opposite sex, it's whether you feel drawn more to the delicate or rugged side (because I hate to classify as "masculine" or "feminine").
Please don't jump my case on this one. :) As a very open minded and loving Christian, it's just something I've always wondered about.
Yup, yay for Barton Fink's comment. It is about learning to accept who you are, even when that doesn't conform to stereotypes. Surgery won't solve things unless you address the underlying issue of being happy with yourself.
Excellent post!
I
Barton Fink made many of the points that I was thinking, but said it better than I could.
Just wanna add that, thank goodness that gender is now understood to be more fluid than it was once thought to be. Well, at least among some people, there are many others who insist on 0/1 gender identities. But it's getting better.
I've known a few people who stick with the genitalia they were born with, but don't conform to any gender per se. Some even refuse to gender identify at all. Maybe that'll be Stephen's route.
Yep, I love how you think, Barton Fink. (And I kinda made a rhyme, in very little time...oof. I think I've had too much coffee.)
Add me on the Barton Fink train.
I hope Stephen is very very happy and stays that way.
Do what makes you happy, Stephen. Make the decision that brings you the most peace. Also, there is no hurry to make any physical life changes. I know you are a young man with a heart of gold that contributes greatly to mankind especially children. YOU, simply make the world a better place for all that you do, no matter the sex of your body.
Barton Fink, you could be a very effective counselor within the LGBT community if you ever feel inclined. Wonderfully expressed.
@Barton - absolutely agree.
I love the phrase "You haven't done anything that can't be undone" (especially when it comes to my work. Ha)
So I wholeheartedly agree with the decision to wait.
That can't be easy, especially being in the public eye as the child of celebs. I'm sure the pressure from certain folks is huge in order to "bring awareness". That's not the point. The point is doing what you know is right for you.
It takes courage to step back and admit you aren't sure and want to wait.
Frankly, Chaz Bono strikes me as a very unhappy person. I wonder sometimes if all of those public steps and grandstanding on tv were a result of such pressure.
...also agree. 20 is young. You have all the time in the world, spend some of it to make sure you are making the right choice for yourself.
I think Barton said it best. And I TOO know transgenders who thought changing their sex would solve all their problems only to be presented with a whole different set. One of my friends said, "I had no idea it would be so hard being a woman." Honey, I coulda told you that.
I think Barton has it right as well.
Would any of us want to live the rest of our lives with the decisions we made when we were twenty?
@BartonFink - Love your post!
"I urge everyone to live in their bodies and be comfortable with themselves."
GREAT advice and words to live by. If we all followed this, think of all the violence, wars, hate, that would be prevented. Thank you Barton Fink <3
In a Sociology of Gender class we learned about a tribe in SouthEast Asia who literally have NO word for rape. Because there is NO rape. One of the reasons for this phenomenon is the men and women there have gender-blurring roles. For instance, men often let infants suckle on their nipple when the mother is busy working the field. And though there are gender-specific tasks around the village the positions of power are open to the smartest or strongest and not gender specific. Because they feel comfortable having differnt roles in the tribe, there is NO rape because men do not feel they must prove their masculinity or power over women.
I guess I'm sharing this because many of the ways each gender feels pressured to conform to their set ideologies really does more harm than good overall. I am hopeful Stephen finds whatever he needs to make the right decision for him, and I wish that society wasnt so black and white where he feels he has to make such a weighty decision.
You guys are great. Love the insight I get here. And I have to add, as a mother, that this kid is just cute as a button. Seriously.
@Cornbread - perhaps a person living in the wrong body isn't supposed to be viewed as a mistake? Assuming God does exist, maybe he puts certain people in certain situations because that person, or the people around them, have something to learn from the experience? If you do believe in God, is it fair to say that you believe God does things for a reason, and perhaps that he "works in mysterious ways"? Maybe this is one of them.
I like how you think, Barton Fink.
@Maja, love that. It's precisely what I believe, and couldn't have been put any better. So impressed with these comments :)
This is why I love ya'll!
@Maja, good point. This is one of the things I have found, at least for myself during my faith walk, is that I am always learning and growing. I think having an open and loving mind is key. I do know that God gives mountains to climb, but strength to climb them. This could be Stephen's mountain. I hope he finds peace and happiness at the top, and makes a decision on his own, without influence from outside sources.
I am a loooong time lurker on CDAN. I will say that the folks here are some of the smartest, wittiest, and kind hearted around. So nice to have a supportive place to discuss things. :)
"He looks a heck of a lot more masculine than Justin Bieber."
Heh, I was just thinking he looks like a prettier Chris Colfer.
He looks 15 in that photo.
<3 Barton. Stephen has just gone through what will probably be the most stressful 20 years of life w/more changes than any other. Birth, infancy, bonding w/family, toddler, discovering the world, forming relationships outside the family, education and then puberty all crammed into those 20 years.
20 to 30 to 40, etc. will probably be a little calmer w/time to reflect on how [s]he wants to go through the rest of life.
I hope that having a supportive group around will encourage thoughtful consideration rather encouraging any hasty decision to possibly rebel and 'show' them how it has to be.
Peace.
I think there's TOO much support. You don't think mental health at ALL plays a role in this type of desire to reassign your gender?
But I guess that type of thinking gets you labeled intolerant.
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