Wednesday, November 13, 2013

There Are Nicolas Cage Sex Photos

I know it is hard to wake up to news there are Nicolas Cage sex photos but I found out about it last night and had to try to sleep with the thought of Nicolas in some kind of Superman costume while his baby mama ex ran green gel all over his body and called it kryptonite. In the background are no doubt Nicolas's wigs hanging on a shelf while his collection of superhero dolls and trio of six foot Elvia wax figurines stare at the couple. A pair of eyes in the door belong to their son Weston. Having no idea what the photos looked like these were the images that popped in my head and I also wondered who took the photos of Nic's O face which were stolen from his ex's garage earlier this year by a man since charged with felony burglary but who has not revealed the whereabouts of the photos.

Things were so bad with my attempts at sleep that when I finally did go to sleep my only dream was a nightmare. Paris Hilton was in it and had a chin implant to look more like Jay Leno. It almost makes me want to give up drinking right before bed. Almost.

39 comments:

Meanie Rhysie said...

Okay! That's it!! I've had it with this site!! This is just outside of enough!

Please, VIP, for the love of our eyes, do NOT post Nic Cage dick-clickies! Thank you! xoxo

ethorne said...

Noooo!! Not Elvia! Anything but that!

Megley said...

Yeah, I'm ready to make my semi-annual exit from this site. It used to be fun; now, it's just plain bitterness all the time. The photo captions used to be semi-humorous; now, they're just inane and forced and not even remotely funny. The almost reveals are just the stupidest thing on here, and the reveals are 5+ years old and I HATE REALITY TV AND ALL THE REALITY SHIT ON HERE. THEY ARE NOT STARS, whichever Enty is in control.
As I say every time I leave here: Fuck this NOISE!!

TalksTooMuch said...

Um, yay?

Pip said...

Post it, post it! DO it VIP!

TalksTooMuch said...

Hey, this keeps up, we should have a Flounce Contest!

Renoblondee said...

I'm up for it!

Christopher Cruz said...

PS I don't think that's how you spell Elvira.

ethorne said...

LOL I think they meant Elvis.

Mari said...

There are people I never want to see photos of having sex, and then there are people I never even wanted to contemplate photos of them having sex existed.
Oh, this is the latter.

Meanie Rhysie said...

@Pip, you're evil. Eeeevvviiilllll!

MISCH said...

Why ? Why ?

Christopher Cruz said...

I'm gay, so I'd prefer to think he meant Elvira! LOL

ethorne said...

That would be the better wax statue!

Patty said...

Who keeps that kind of stuff in the garage? Did his ex have a "steal me" sign posted to it? She practically did by storing it in the GD garage!

The Real Dragon said...

VIP, post that D girl

Pip said...

C'mon, Rhysie. Look at that picture. He's a sexy beast! I wonder which wig he is wearing in the sex pictures.

Meanie Rhysie said...

Rawrrrrrr!!, says Nic.

LOL I can't with this guy. I just can't.

8====D KermitGossnellKnobjob said...

Is there real people who want to see these pictures? Jerkula's troll probably, but (s)he was a troll without a life.
Anyway, thank you for the likely nightmares.

AJ said...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ...... Runs from site screaming

Unknown said...

Oh dear, Lord.... Make it stop!

rajahcat said...
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rajahcat said...

he is one weird dude

really don't want to see his sex pics-nasty nasty

what a way to ruin a day

rajahcat said...

oh and don't let it spoil you nightcap entry.......that would be a waste of good liquor

rajahcat said...
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rajahcat said...
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auntliddy said...

weord! when will people learn NOT to film themselves having sex?????? It never works out!!!

Eros said...

If this was nic cage from the 90s when he was younger , had his own hair and was less weird and still had that brooding good boy gone bad thing going for him, I would be all YES!! YES!!

Its not a bad pic but it comes off a s mildly disturbing...im not sure why.. thats just the feel I got looking at the image but cage you never know. Maybe that is what he was trying to convey to onlookers..something beneath it all that you quite can't put your finger on.. Mysterious fellow, that one..

aemish said...

I <3 Nicolas Cage

Anonymous said...

This bullshit sex ed stuff they teach kids about abstinence could be largely assisted by said images. It dried my cooze up at the mere thought of it. It'll be lube for a week now. Thanks Enty.

JoElla said...

I'll own it.. I like most of his movies. Most are kinda fun popcorny flicks..

I will also admit, that while watching his movies.. part of my brain kinda starts singing "Peggy Sue, Peggy Sue".. and I have to remind myself to focus on the movie I am watching, and not that whiny character from Peggy sue.

califblondy said...

Dick clickies? LOL.

Little Broken Bird said...

Oh dear god in heaven! Noooooooooo!

Momster said...

After sex, I bet he lights a cigarette and reads a comic book!

Sherry said...

LOL!! Everyone overwhelmingly does not want to see these pictures. That was my first thought too..Oh Lord the humanity!!

Sis said...

Would love to see them, where's VIP? Loved him in Valley Girl, he shouldn't have started fixing his "look" in my opinion.

Angela said...

Chin implant? I guess that somebody actually saw Eastbound & Down last Sunday night.

Kassandra said...

If this is Nicolas Cage during "Valley Girl" era...HELL YES. That man was very hot during that short time.

Beyond that, HELL no.

Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...

All I can picture is that Family Guy gif, where everybody is barfing. Thank God!

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