Friday, June 08, 2007

Ted C Blind Item

There's a certain actor who's in the rags these days. On the cover of one of those sorry-ass publicist-sanctioned suck jobs, actually. Let's call this performer Rubba-Rubba Release, shall we? Yes, that suits the schmuck perfectly.

Now, R.R.R.'s career has hit more questionable points than Posh Spice has bones showing. Nevertheless, audiences and Oscar voters alike have had their frenzied moments with Rubba, so despite having participated in some of the most lampooned flicks ever made, R3 possesses awards that many people would murder their mothers, mistresses and spouses to possess.

(Ah, such is the way in H-town, where cops have the best sugar tits round, right?)

But I do wonder: Could Rubba's debatable—at best—rep be the reason R.R.R.'s recently on the cover of yet another widely distributed zine? Uh, nope would be the best answer I could provide.

That's 'cause R-hon—who's well experienced in the relationship game—is ensconced in yet another rocky hookup, due to R.R.R.'s myriad dicky dalliances that R. just can't seem to stay away from.

Including with the editor who just put the three-initialed slut on the damn cover, don't you know.

73 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cuba! Gooding! Junior! that was easy.

Anonymous said...

Is it Lindsey Lohan?

Parisss

Anonymous said...

jude law

Twisted Sister said...

EL - PLEASE start adding the 'and it ain'ts' !!!

And it aint Steve Carrall, Hugh Jackman or Oprah.

betsnup said...

Seriously, Ent, I love your site but hate it when these are posted. Ted C gives me a headache - I can never follow what he's saying. It's like it's not even English...

Mel C. said...

Bruce Willis - on the cover of Vanity Fair this month, has an Emmy and a Golden Globe ... the only thing that doesn't fit is the 3-initial comment. Hmmm....

Anonymous said...

Nah, see: CGJ has an Oscar and a SAG but was also in the crappy gay panic movie Boat Trip (for which he won a Razzie) as well as Norbit and Rat Race, which also sucked. Right now, everyone is hailing him as a hero for saving some gunshot victim. See? Easy.

Lohan has no awards and doesn't need to bone anyone to get on a mag cover. Law (surprisingly) doesn't have any big awards (unless you count a BAFTA).

ms-wonderland said...

This must be one of the easiest BV ever. Not that I've solved it mind. But - 3 initials, cover of a suck-up mag (People?)shagging the editor, several lampooned films, loads of awards.

Sacha Baron Cohen? Borat got awards, even oscar noms, it's been lampooned all over. But is he on a magazine cover?

Twisted Sister said...

SBC hasn't been on a cover since last year.

Anonymous said...

What about Billy Bob Thorton? He movies vary one from the next. But I dunno if he's been on mag lately...

Tracee

Twisted Sister said...

Thinking in terms of another hint, one of the most lampooned films IS Pulp Fiction.

Anonymous said...

Nevermind Billy's hasn't been in the rags lately. I agree with the Cuba guess.

Tracee

Twisted Sister said...

What magazine covers has Cuba been on lately, though? I don't think it's him. Plus, I'm not sure anyone would consider the "J" in "Jr." to be an initial.

Anonymous said...

TS,
Samuel L Jackson (3 initials) was in Pulp, but besides snakes on a mothafuckin plane I dunno what bombs he has. And is he in the rags. I believe that it could be a black man, since Oprah one of the "ain't".

Tracee

Anonymous said...

Isn't Ted rumoured to be drinking again? Maybe that's why these blinds aren't written in English.

DH said...

The last line about a dalliance WITH the editor who put him on the cover. For some reason that just screamed Jann Wenner from Rolling Stone. Any clue who's been on the covers there lately?

Twisted Sister said...

I'll have to go look, but the only one that comes to mind is Johnny Depp.

I'm not convinced it has to be Rolling Stone, though.

Tracee, I doubt it's Samuel L. Jackson, but I'm trying to think of movies that have been lampooned:

Godfather
Saturday Night Fever
Airplane
Jerry McGuire
Pulp Fiction

Anonymous said...

Has Cuba Gooding Junior been on a magazine cover recently?

Anonymous said...

does the BI necessarily have a 3 initialed name? just wondering b/c none of the "and it ain'ts" do and i suck at reading into TC's writing

Mel C. said...

Maybe he is referring to "Rubba-Rubba Release" as the three initials?!?

Robin said...

GEORGE W. (Rubba-Rubba) BUSH!!!


Joking, only joking people...

Robin said...

Seriously though, maybe Rubba Rubba is a clue for the letter W (Double 'ya/Rubba Rubba) It's a stretch I know, just trying to think outside of the box here...

Breaker said...

I thought of John Travolta when he says Rubba Rubba Release - you know, for his special massage visits he loves so much? And everyone knows he is a Mary so he is well experienced in the relationship GAME with kelly. So the Myriad Dicky dalliances makes sense.

He is plastered everywhere for his role in Hairspray now.

Twisted Sister said...

Every time I hear the word rubba, I think of Michael Jackson. The perv.

Anonymous said...

Gotta be Kevin Kostner
no doubt
rub n tug in Scotland
Has an Oscar
Lampooned in Waterworld

mary mac said...

Wasn't Rubba Rubba the nickname Wacko Jacko gave to all his little friends?

Ewww...

Anonymous said...

EDDIE MURPHY morons.

Does all those stupid fat suit movies.

Got spurned by Oscar voters for Dreamgirls.

Still has a Golden Globe and wealth, which most in Hollywood would kill for.

Claimed to have worn a condom when he slept with Scary Spice, but she still got pregnant(Rubba-Rubba Release). Heck, ted gave a Spice Girls hint with the Posh mention.

ms_wonderland said...

Yes, I was wondering if 'dicky dalliances' meant a same-sex hook up, and Jan Weiner is gay. is Rolling Stone in the publicists pockets though? Doubt if Johnny and Keith Richards need to suck anyone to get their faces on the cover of RS though.

The ain'ts are usually clues. I thought Oprah was there because she's always on the cover of her mag. Hugh Jackman - gay rumours/Ausralian/Wolverine? Steve Carrell - 40 yo virgin? Any cluse there? And sugar tits must be some sort of clue!

Twisted Sister said...

Yes, that's why I think of him when I hear the word. GROSS!!!

Twisted Sister said...

Mel Gibson referred to the female cop as sugar tits when he was arrested for his dui.

Anonymous said...

Somebody slept with a managing editor of US, People, or whatevs for publicity. How is this even interesting, or unusual in this town?

Ted's so hated he gets the dregs or just makes shit up at this point in his career. He's an alky who's barely hanging on to his job. Plus he writes like a tard.

Twisted Sister said...

OFF TOPIC BUT FUN BREAKING NEWS:

The judge has ordered Paris to serve the full 45 day sentence.

Anonymous said...

TS,
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I want a t-shirt with that judge's mug on it.

Tracee

ruuby said...

can someone explain this one to me? i hate ted's ridiculousness. im so confuused

Anonymous said...

Is Ben Affleck on any covers? Rub Rub Relaease (Catch and Rlease with Jen Garner)
Was in Gigli...has an Oscar.
i think the 3 initial is referring to RRR.

-jax

Anonymous said...

ps rub rub referring to the strippers here in vancouver.
-jax

Anonymous said...

What is so friggin' hard about ignoring the parts that you don't like? You don't like Ted, keep scrolling! Stop whining people.

GGA (pissy mood today)

Anonymous said...

Dragged screaming from the courtroom! "It's not fair! Mommy!!" Back to jail!! Delgadillo: 1
Baca: 0.
Juju

Anonymous said...

"The judge has ordered Paris to serve the full 45 day sentence."

Good. If someone had exercised some control over her earlier in her life, maybe she'd be less of a vapid, spoiled, moron. Color me a coldly unsympathetic bitch, but it seems to me that your sentence shouldn't be changed because you get a little rash!

Anonymous said...

That was OT - sorry. I'm just SO delighted.
Is Mel Gibson too easy given the 'sugar tits' mention? Have Mad Max and Lethal Weapon been lampooned? Is RRR someone who really needs to schtupp for publication?
Juju

Anonymous said...

Damn, people don't you know to fuckin' read? The person in the bi has 3 initials. ALL you stupid ass people are naming people w/ 2 initials. Cuba G. Jr. does have 3 initials, but, is he a slut, like stated in the b i??????

Anonymous said...

Robert Downey Jr.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I'm shocked to see actual celebrity justice here in LALA land. I thought for sure the villagers were going to have to riot and stone her in the courtyard. Nice job Rocky!!!!
- kellygrrrl

Anonymous said...

I think Mel Gibson is a good guess.

The 'schmuck' reference (Mel's anti-jew rant), the 'sugar tits' (his words to the female cop) and the 'debatable rep' that Ted refers to (all the controversy around Mel's actions, movies, and words) seem to add up to Mel.

He could be zooming some female editor. There is nothing to indicate a homo hookup.

lexi-con said...

Mel's a decent guy with some big problems. He has too much self-respect to be the man-ho in this BI. I don't have a guess, though

Twisted Sister said...

If it's Mel, then what are the three initials Ted talks about? DUI?

Anonymous said...

I'm going with John Travolta even if he doesn't have three initials...the rubbing reference...lampooned movies along with very good movies...R-hon could be an LRon reference...and ted doesn't seem to care for those who pretend to be some one they're not...

But I have to say I enjoy reading and trying to solve ent's blinds waaayyy more then Ted C's!

mary mac said...

OK-Ted could just be referring to the RRR in the BI as the 3 initialed person and not necessarily the actual person he's referring to in real life, so answering with a celebrity that doesn't go by a 3 initial name doesn't mean anything...it could very well be Mel Gibson, Jim Carey, etc...

My favorite guess so far? I'd have to go with the Eddie Murphy one.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, Twisted, you could be onto something.

Ted is real careful about the clues he provides. I do not think there is any way he would openly describe someone who has a 3 initial name if the subject really had a 3 initial name.

Sasha said...

Hi all, new here, luv it!

Let's play Eliminate the Suspects:

"dicky dalliances" causing a "rocky hookup" is a BIG clue.

Mel is married , not hooked-up.

Ditto Travolta, Costner,RDJ, SLJ,CGJ.

While unmarried, Affleck is not merely hooked up with JG. Ditto Johnny Depp and Parisi.

Who does that leave? Eddie Murphy,(def iffy hookup, def gay rumors,several awards and noms, lampooned films. Mag cover?) Billy Bob Thornton.(three initials,awards and noms, lampooned films, but is he:in a rocky hookup,on a mag cover?rumored to be gay?)

sasha said...

"Rubba Rubba Release" = fuck 'em and dump 'em? Def Eddie Murphy.

Anonymous said...

betsnap have you ever thought not to read them, better yet comment on them... really this site was not designed for your eyes only

Anonymous said...

quit whining ruuby
you sound like paris
"i cant read"

I'm not going unless you send a car for me"
I have a rash
its cold
i only have 3 blankets

fogcitykitty said...

Dijimon Gaston Hounsou.
On one of the 20 Vanity Fair covers this month. So is Oprah. (one of the and it ain'ts) Editor widely considered to be gay. Beyond current "rocky hookup" not much said about DGH's preferences. Assload of awards and noms, including Oscar and Golden Globe. That's my guess.

Re Paris-personally despise her. Calling her white trash is insulting to white trash folk. Think that she should be on some home detention, jail is not safe for her, and ad-seg is cruel. 23 hrs in 1 out? Death row people get that stuff and the pod workers (jail trustees) can get to her with ease. The Sheriff has the right to determine who he can safely care for and who he cannot, based on who is in his custody, and LA county jail has 10k in custody, with 3500 beds. If she were Jane Schmuck, she'd have gotten 45 days suspended, her drivers license pulled for 24 months and her probation extended for 12. It's the judge with the hard-on, not the sheriff. He was tossed someone's election agenda and told to manage it, IMO. It's just as unfair to use her case to give yourself some press as it is to give her special treatment because of who she is.
I don't like it anymore than anyone else, but bottom line, she's a person and she hasn't abused the system anymore than anyone else, and a lot less than some.

(no, I am not a public defender.)

mary mac said...

Like the Dijimon guess, but no real movies that are lampooned a lot...

BTW...what happened to 4 for Friday? Oh well...everyone have a great weekend!

Anonymous said...

It's the CGJ guesser again. Go beyond the clues to the subject of the blind item. An up and down actor with a bad publicist who has to sleep with an editor to get in the mags.

Do you think Travolta has to sleep with anyone to get on a magazine (especially this summer, when he has a big movie coming out)? Why would Eddie Murphy work for publicity right now?

Anonymous said...

...and a nom is not the same as "possessing" an award, either.

Twisted Sister said...

Fogcitykitty, Paris wasn't released due to a safety issue, she was released because of a medical issue. Medical issues can be attended to in prison. Everyone is probably depressed in there and I'm sure her herpes is flaring up and they probably have meds for those things. If she was a poor black woman, she would have been left in prison.

And how many times can a person claim ignorance to the law? I swear she and Lohan won't be happy until they've killed someone.

Twisted Sister said...

Mary Mac, EL has been very slow to post today. He must be tied up with his real job. Have a great weekend!

fogcitykitty said...

TS-

Medical issue can be anything, but they can treat anything in jail, with the exception of a panic type disorder which you can't treat except with a sedative or a something that ends in -azepam. If she'd had a true medical issue, they'd have transferred her to the infirmary. Where I think medical issue might have been involved is perhaps in something psych. If she was ill, she'd have landed in the infirmary, which is probably full. Ditto the psych inmate spaces. If she was a danger to herself or someone else they can only put her in ad seg where she already was.
I still say if she wasn't PH, she wouldn't be in anywhere. She'd be on orange bag patrol for a thousand hours, with an ankle bracelet and probation.

Did she claim ignorance of the law in this at any point? It wasn't like she was driving on a suspended license but everything else was fine, she was arrested for DUI on a suspended license. It doesn't seem like she thinks she's anything but an idiot.

Anonymous said...

Sasha - Garner & Affleck are married...they got married in May or June 2005

sasha said...

oops, sorry!
He's still eliminated.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Paris is in withdrawal from something, and that's the medical issue. While I do think the judge is grandstanding somewhat, she deserves some hard time for being as flippant as she is about her DUI.

I'm with Twisted Sister, I don't think someone should be injured or die before these brats develop some sense of responsibility.

Anonymous said...

Interesting that he doesn't use any pronouns. Could it be a woman?

Anonymous said...

"she hasn't abused the system anymore than anyone else"

fogcitykitty
speak for yourself

dont insult us

i have never driven under suspension, disrespected legal officials, violated court dates, or times, etc nor has my mother verbally disrespectful a judge...
cant speak for your favorite victims...

the insolent mother/impudent daughter combo who repeatedly have...

fogcitykitty said...

Hey anon 7:06, if you're going to talk trash, use a name. No one takes people like you seriously. If you'd bothered to comprehend those words you quoted, you'd have clued in that only those in the penal system can use and abuse it. Are you saying that you're in it, but you are the angel of the jail?
Didn't think so.

And where exactly do you get the idea that the Lohans are my "favorite"? I don't think I've ever commented on them one way or the other.

Take a breath, moron.

CupcakeMagee said...

FogCityKitty I applaud you and I agree with you wholeheartedly. I don't like Paris one bit, but this is madness. She's being tortured because of who she is, not because of what see did. People just love seeing her suffer, it has nothing to do with justice.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe i didn't think of it sooner. Kevin Costner has oscars, has a movie out (so i'm sure i've seen him on the cover of a magazine) and the Rubba-rubba=massage incident.

Anonymous said...

Kevin Costner. Rocky hookup Married at his house in the Colorado Rockies, already cheated many times on the new wifey, with whom he just had a kid.

Big blowjob story about his career in Entertainment Weekly to coincide with the release of his latest film. Is he on the cover? I ignore that rag.

Anonymous said...

fogcitykitty
sorry
you are correct
i misread your words
:(
i guess i am a bit defensive...a bit?????
...dont want to be put in a category with someone who single handedly sets the progression towards the respect of women back a decade

Anonymous said...

OK aren't all of the "and it aint's" associated with a musical?
Steve with the musical version of The Office. So my guess is John Travolta(Hairspray).
ManD

mngddess said...

Could someone in the LA area run over and beat the hell out of Ted C.? Maybe if someone knocked some sense into him he'd write his gossip items in ENGLISH!!!!!!

Cyn

Jeannette Smyth said...

one proper noun per entry please.