Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Music For Sperm

I know I know. You love music, and you love all the music festivals in Europe each summer. The problem is they cost money. Well, at least they did. Apparently everyone in Ireland stopped donating their sperm to fertility clinics. Donations are down 40% the past four years. Maybe they don't have good porn to look at in the clinics or something, because I know guys are still out there doing what we do best. Guess we just don't want to do it in a cup for money anymore. That doesn't sound right does it? Guys will always do it money or not, so it must be the lack of good porn.

To combat this problem, Ireland's fertility clinics have banded together and created the website Yep, it looks legit. I just kind of looked at the home page right now. I am at work you know, so before I sign up to get a container, I would like to be in the privacy of my basement.

You don't even need to go to Ireland to donate.

"To aid this problem (lack of donations) we have set up an alternative method for donations by using specially developed donation containers combined with a fast courier network to offer a mail system.

"The patented container is a new discovery that was made by our research and development team, which allows samples to stay fresh for up to 3 days. We offer a worldwide courier service using DHL and UPS that guarantee delivery times."

So what that means is that I am going to have lots and lots of festival tickets.


Anonymous said...

I'm wondering if they go through the typical donation screening process before they get the tickets.

Anonymous said...

Weird. I mean, from what I know of sperm, like, one drop has enough of those lil guys to impregnate an entire village. Maybe they're not conserving very well? LOL. Really, with how easy it is to make a few bucks that way, I thought every clinic would have an overabundance of the stuff...

schneefloeckli said...

Weird. I mean, from what I know of sperm, like, one drop has enough of those lil guys to impregnate an entire village. Maybe they're not conserving very well?
Well, they can't use the sane donor over and over again or we would be all related, kind of like the Royal Families over here.

I wish someone wouldsign up just to let us all know what they actually ask you to do before they sned out the containers. *hinthinthint*

Ellebee said...

Hey EL...I want to go to Coachella, Sasquatch, Reading and Leeds, Glastonbury, Isle of Wight...ah hell, just pick any of them...I will supply the porn for you-Granny, MILF, girls with guns? You name it I will send it.

Oh, and if it is not too much to ask, plane tickets, housing and a food allowance would be appreciated.

And finally, sorry for the downer, but I need disabled seating-it can be tricky navigating a wheelchair downstairs at venues.

Have fun.

bionic bunny! said...

anybody else catch the label on that?
'"bodily fluids in exchange for stuff (not an eliot spitzer story)"
oh, ent, you outdid yourself on that one!

i wonder, has catholicism taken a huge stride in ireland this year? this is odd.

and ellebee, i know what you mean about venues being a bitch. i used to deal with U.S. venues, and a bunch of them, if you just show up without prior notice (ahem, IRVINE AMPHITHEATRE, whatever you call yourselves now--at least for jimmy buffett), you're SOL.

trashtalker said...

Yeah, I noticed the label, too. I even clicked on it to see if there was anything else with that label! (Answer: No.) Part of me hopes that more things will be tagged with that label, but the other part of me is frightened by the prospect.

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