Monday, March 10, 2008

Paris Hilton Is Potty Trained - A Satire


Paris Hilton announced today through her spokesperson Elliot Mintz, that she is gunning to be the next spokesperson for Metamucil. "You know, I love their product. I have a stressful life, and often I can get constipated. If I haven't had enough alcohol the night before, there is nothing like a spoonful of Metamucil mixed with water. A little tip is that I use Smart Water with my Metamucil for just that little bit of extra flavor."

"I know Metamucil has never really had a spokesperson before, but I just think it is time. Everyone in LA loves their product, and there is no better way to lose a quick 7-8 pounds than mixing an entire bottle of Metamucil or "M" as we like to call it with a Red Bull and just letting nature take its course."

"I am so excited about the possibility of becoming their spokesperson. That's hot."

Paris is so excited about the possibility of talking about her bathroom habits for money that she went out and got a ring initialed with her favorite activity and hopes that cinches it for the Metamucil people.

15 comments:

mandythegreat said...

Is this a spoof? Seriously? "no better way to lose a quick 7-8 pounds than mixing an entire bottle of Metamucil or "M" as we like to call it with a Red Bull and just letting nature take its course."?

Seriously? I've lost all coherent thought.

*falls to the floor in a raving, foaming at the mouth, conniption fit*

Anonymous said...

Mandy - yeah. I think it's supposed to mean she's been branded as Benji Madden's property. Even though Sophie Monk looked like a chipmunk, she was better than Paris.

GammaGirl said...

She didn't actually say that, did she Ent?
If you did that your throat would swell up when the psyllium particles started to expand.

Ugh. In any case, what a fucking moron!

mandythegreat said...

Saddest thing is, I can see her saying all this. For the love of Pete, make it stop.

SisterMaryHotPantz said...

See ENT Liner "satire"

Get it?

jax said...

SATIRE! lol

love it.
God i can so see this dumbass doing that.

Janele said...

Is Damon seriously the answer to TJ Hooker???

Anonymous said...

Rolling Eyes at Parasites comments. This is suppose to be a business woman???

parisss said...

Janele- I saw that too. TJ Hooker's having a baby!

Kim said...

Did anyone else hear how Paris is going to be on Ashton Kutcher's new prank show where they prank the media/papparazzi into thinking something is real when it is fake? I know when she was seen with that monk or whatever he was a few weeks ago, it was part of that show. Does anyone else think her relationship with Benji is a prank too for the show?

I mean really, she is dressing like him and they are wearing matching initial jewelry.

Twisted Sister said...

'Tis a spoof, peeps, but what better person to have shilling Metamucil than someone who is so full of shit?

captivagrl said...

she needs 3 good lashes.....just like Milan Carlton.

Anonymous said...

Wow, "great" "spoof".

bionic bunny! said...

bwah-hah-hah!

altho... i must confess metmucil and redbull might just do the trick!

violet said...

Hysterical!!! Glad I'm not the only one where my thoughts went to um.....digestion when I heard about that Initial Ring (BM).
Good Comedy...and yes, sadly i too would believe that she would say somethign like that!! Makes it all the funnier!!

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