Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Eric Johnson Is Now A Life Coach


I guess I can't call Jessica Simpson's boyfriend unemployed anymore. Pimpa Joe probably told him he needed to get a job somewhere so it looks like he is at least trying to make an effort to contribute. It is not like the guy works for a company. He works for himself. He was probably sitting around drinking with his buddies and flashing the credit card Jessica gave him to use but only for emergencies and needed to come up with a job. Someone suggested life coach. The next thing you know he is one. Here is advice to all of you out there. Find someone rich, kiss their butt and hope they marry you. In the meantime, enjoy free trips, food, no rent and sexual napalm.


Do you think his lack of a job is the reason Jessica does not want to marry him now? Oh sure, she is still dating the guy, but I think the odds of a marriage lessen everyday.

27 comments:

Patty said...

"Do you think his lack of a job is the reason Jessica does not want to marry him now?"

She's the reason he is not in school and probably why he doesn't have a job. How can he be on her 24 hour call if he has work obligations?

Rita said...

A lot of women living with richer public men all of sudden become professional home makers (Seinfeld), or handbag makers (McCaunnaghay), Jessica's piece needs a job as well.

Although I would've taken him more seriously if he announced he'd be making vegan wallets, a life coach, not so much.

Cathy said...

Looks like Papa Joe finally someone who can work full-time keeping Ashlee from putting anything up her nose...

BrandieMarie said...

I'm all for this guy having a job. It shouldn't be all on Jessica to maintain their lifestyle. But as Rita said, I can't take this seriously. I have a friend who is in this line of business and she has psychology degrees and has taken numerous classes dealing with this sort of thing to become credible. This guy just walks into it because they have money? I wouldn't hire him to coach my way out of a paper bag.

Rita said...

I can't take a life-coach thing seriously. But like Bnl said, some actually have doctorates in psychology and other degrees before becoming life coaches. Why can't I take it seriously? Because the first time I heard of such a job was on Nip/Tuck: She/he turned out to be a serial killer!!

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

Co-sign Patty. You said it girl.

Isn't this guy pretty smart?

BigMama said...

@Rita - LOL I remember that story arc, I could never watch X-men the same way again!

Rita said...

BigMama: omg, same for me!! Could not take Phoenix rising seriously!

Lolita Breckenridge said...

You know, I hope she doesn't marry him. She's not the smartest girl, but she's harmless, and he just seems like a user.

Rita said...

If we are to believe Enty's blinds, they were yelling at each other during pre-nuptial agreement... So maybe she learned a few things and put her foot down: nothing shows one's true colors then a very long engagement. Better off see what their all about!

Poppymann said...

Life coach, Ha! Get a real job.

Feisty said...

Why doesn't he just become a private kid quarterback coach?

I know of a guy in DFW who played college ball (not anywhere to the level of Eric) who is making an AMAZING living privately coaching kids one-on-one to be quarterbacks. Dallas can't be the only place on earth with athletic-mad parents with cash.

parissucksliterally said...

oh please.

If she marries him, it will be like Kim K. marrying just to get married.

Dulcinea said...

If he gave up school to be with her, and she was OK with that...then she deserves this.

figgy said...

This is pretty sexist, really. If the roles were reversed, no one would expect the fiancee/wife of a wealthy man to get a job. She's fabulously wealthy thanks to her clothing line. So why not just relax and have fun, both of them? Shoot, that's what I'd want my husband to do if I were rich, why not?

Maja With a J said...

Figgy, I think the difference is that in their case, it really seems like he is using her for her money, and that is never OK in my opinion. But I totally agree, if I became very rich I'd be totally OK with my husband not working. Because we were broke together for several years so I know he doesn't just want me for my money! *L*

Maja With a J said...

Like, totally! *rolls eyes @ self*

BrandieMarie said...

@Maja agree. That was my thing. He came AFTER the money, then just stopped doing everything else. If he came BEFORE the money, then fine.

I also think its good to have a job regardless, even part time, just for something to DO. But in this case, for him to come along after the fact and burn through her money, I think if he wants to keep up that lifestyle he can contribute. I actually feel the same way when its a girl burning through a guys money. Again, unless she was there before said money.

RocketQueen said...

I'm not a fan of golddiggers, male or female. Period. "Life coach"? Seriously? Come on.

Jeri said...

I think Jesica knows she doesn't really love him. Also, it would be nice if he showed an interest in anything besides holding Jessicas' hand (& other parts).

Also, how can you work and be at someone's beck and call constantly. You would have to be self employed with either no staff or a staff that can run everything perfectly fine without you.

Robert said...

@RQ, et. al.: Exactly. What would his coaching consist of? "Guys, to be really successful, blow off business school and get down to business--the business of scoring a hot, rich sugar mama, that is." I see a late-night infomercial in the offing.

Snakeoiler said...

The guy went to Yale, and no one I ever met there was completely stupid, despite, you know, that 1974 Mad compilation I found in the Berkeley College library in 2006, with jokes that I still remembered.

He obviously learned something to be able to hang onto his meal ticket this long. Boola, boola!

M said...

He looks like he could be related to Spencer Pratt in that picture...

Squeezebox said...

"Do you think his lack of a job is the reason Jessica does not want to marry him now?"

Why buy a cow when the beefcake is free?

MISCH said...

I'm surprised she hasn't married him....and also relieved ...maybe there is a brain in that head of hers.

Lelaina Pierce said...

Didn't she get engaged around the same time as Nick/LemonJello? I thought for sure she'd get married before them.

This guy has no credentials to be a life coach. How absurd.

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