Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Gwyneth Paltrow Named People's Most Beautiful Woman

I think it is pretty obvious at this point that the editors at Kneepads are smoking crack on a pretty regular basis. Either that or they keep a constant drunk going 24/7. There is no other way to explain their choice of Gwyneth Paltrow as the world's most beautiful woman. It is impossible for such an award to be bestowed. Yes, I know it is because she has the best PR person and they thought they could sell the most issues with her on the cover, but there is no one with common sense in their brain that would ever call her the most beautiful. This has nothing to do with outer beauty where I think she loses to almost every celebrity they could match her against. It has to do with inner beauty because I think she has shown the only thing she cares about is herself. Her newsletter and cookbook are geared to people who look like her and are as rich as her and everyone else be damned. She has lived in America for most of her life but chooses to use a British accent when giving interviews. She doesn't do it any other time. I know this is about doing press for her cookbook and Iron Man 3. I get that, but it is so beyond the realm of possibility that Kneepads really has earned its name this week.

99 comments:

Unknown said...

I am so over this trick.

Cathy said...

I'm guessing they realize a divorce is coming and want to be on her good side to get the "inside scoop" from her when it happens.

VIPblonde said...

Kristen Stewart was robbed!!!!!

LottaColada said...

She's purdy

ethorne said...

I'm just glad she finally used her $5000 brush.

Unknown said...

I think she is a beautiful woman, on the outside at least. I like her look and style.

Lizzzzzzzzzz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Meanie Rhysie said...

Bwahahahahahaaaa!!!



Bwahahahahahahaa!!!

Get the phuque outta here!!!

Bwahahahahahaaaa!!!!

Christopher Cruz said...

She looks like Kesha!!!

LottaColada said...

+1

Cathy said...

I heard that Chloe Moretz was offered the title, but she was too busy blowing random truckers at a rest stop and snorting coke off the bathroom floor to pose for the cover.

(Any takers? Sorry, I was just catching up on the blind item 6 comments from last night)

All about Eve said...

@VIP, lol!!!

I think she's nice looking but with such a rotten personality that its hard to read that cover with a straight face...sorry to Sunny and all Goopy fans :)

rhinovodka said...

She does have a nice figure, I will give her that.

All about Eve said...

Hahahaha! @Cathy

Pip said...

Lol Cathy!

audrey said...

Meanwhile, Beyonce is shattered that her reign is over and is going back on her lettuce leaf diet so she can recapture the title next year.

8====D KermitGossnellKnobjob said...

Perhaps the writers only knew of her, barbra streisand, oprah, octomom, these days Lindsay Lohan, Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, madonna and Rebel Wilson.

With those contenders, she wins with a lanslide, because she is pretty (not on the inner side, indeed, but her looks are nice).

OneGirlRevolution said...

Suck it, haters. ;)

Unknown said...

Um... Charlize will be until Charlize is no longer living, tbh

Linn said...

Her mother is prettier, still.

The Dude said...

Mediocre looks at best, Most Beautiful? Get real....

dia papaya said...

Where is Sunny and Lola?

She is a beautiful woman. And her butt is to die for. But all the other BS, just no!

Pogue Mahone said...

There's nothing wrong with the way she looks. I just think Enty doesn't like her personally and this is all just sour grapes on his part.He may not like her as a person but that doesn't mean she's still not pretty.

MadLyb said...

She's pretty, but is she the most beautiful woman in the world? If you're magazine is geared towards minivan soccer moms, she is.

MadLyb said...

YOUR.

angie said...

*glowing*

Pini 27 said...

Enty's not saying she isn't pretty, he's saying she's not the 'Most Beautiful', which she isn't.

flowerpower said...

That's the best People could come up with!? Isn't Goopy at the top of the 20 Most Hated Celebrities list? Bet their mag sales are slooooow this week...

BTW, I can't stand Goopy. Can you tell? lol

Sherry R. said...

I wouldn't even skim through this issue while standing in line at the check-out.

Unknown said...

^^^^ love this x infinity

Unknown said...

Maybe they were doing the ugliest on the inside and this was just a nicer way of saying that! I just can't see someone as vapid and pretentious as her as beautiful. Won't happen

Laura said...

She has amazing legs!! And I like her style, I can't afford it, but I like it. Oh, well my kids play soccer so that must be attraction to her.

auntliddy said...

Shes attractive, makes best of her features, but is by no means beautiful.

nevermindthat said...

Now this is laughable.

auntliddy said...

This is a bullshit title anyway, and everyine knows it. And what happened to jlo? Is she no longer beautiful?

Unknown said...

Whatever she pays her publicists is not enough. Wow!!

All about Eve said...

I'm also surprised they didn't choose Jennifer Lawrence, isn't she the IT girl of the hour??

jane3113 said...

Amanda Knox in the corner picture looks more beautiful. She's not even the most beautiful on the page!

Wen said...

LOL I can't get by the bottom of the cover, "152 Fresh Faces" and they show KK who wears more makeup in one sitting then most wear in a lifetime.

MISCH said...

Just a PR trick for the film...

Gayeld said...

+2

Sugar said...

So she's one of the most hated celebs and the most beautiful. She's probably rationalizing that she's so hated because she's so beautiful.

Staple611 said...

*Slow clap* to Goop's publicist. Good score.

annabella said...

yes, surprising it wasn't jennifer lawrence as she is the it girl and much prettier than goopster.

if gwenyth didn't have a privileged life of almost no work, eating expensive food, no wage slave stress, the luxury to work out all of the time as well as expensive face and spa treatments, she would be considered just average. because that is what she is - just average. but as good as average can be because of her lifestyle.

true beauty? selma hayak.

but its people, so wtfc?

MM said...

@Wen, I think that's Kerry Washington, not KK.

Turkish Taffy said...

She's OK. Just OK. On the outside. But COME ON!!! Jennifer Lawrence, Jessica Alba, Monica Belucci, Jessica Chastain, Adele, Charlize, Rihanna, Kate Upton, Bar Rafeli, hell even Lindsay Lohan if she were clean are all beautiful women. Even "she will not be named" was beautiful before she got knocked up. Goopy is a well-dressed anorexic soccer mom.

Agent**It said...

A wonderful superficial tribute to a gigantic ego. She's the one that should live on $1.50 a day.
Sorry, Sunny:)

TV Junkie said...

I recently heard that a survey showed her to be the "most despised" celebrity. Perhaps her PR folks bought this cover to try to counteract that?

it took forever said...

Jennifer lawrence should get this

Glitter said...

GOOP is not beautiful. Elizabeth Taylor was beautiful. The most GOOP is is clean. Not.Even.Pretty.

TV Junkie said...

I recently heard that a survey showed her to be the "most despised" celebrity. Perhaps her PR folks bought this cover to try to counteract that?

katie said...

+ eleventy billion

Reese said...

I like the "they know a divorce is coming and want to get the dirt" possible answer to this. I also like the "ha ha ha ha ha!!" answers.

Bluezz said...

LMFAO Cathy!

Agent**It said...

Monica Belucci is beautiful. I look at her and think, are we really from the same species?:)

Christopher Cruz said...

Oh, I LOVE Blythe Danner!!!

Gelfling said...

Bahahaha!!!!

Anon said...

Maybe People put Paltrow on the cover as "Most Beautiful" because they knew it would be controversial .

Gelfling said...

Yeppers

Anon said...

Never personally thought she was good looking and wondered how she ended up with Brad Pitt and Affleck.
Prolly stroked their egos a lot .

Happy Chocolatini said...

I think you are right TV Junkie.

Pini 27 said...

After the Jennifer Lopez cover last year, I wonder if People is starting to pick very disliked celebrities so they get press coverage. It works.

S.joy said...

Lol! That's looks like Kerry Washington to me. Lord knows there's nothing fresh about KK's face.

Agent**It said...

It was Beyonce last year, no?

D Brown said...

I didn't know beautiful had the same meaning as annoying. Now I'll have to buy a new dictionary.

AKM said...

Yikes. She's attractive, but NOT beautiful. And as others have pointed out, her mother is far more attractive (and classy -- don't know how this girl turned out so clueless).

CanadianMiss said...

For beautiful she would have to be less generic. She's pretty, but boring.

Unknown said...

BLECH! I just threw up in my mouth. funny tho, she was also voted the most hated celeb.

Now! said...

If she were my waitress at Denny's, with no makeup, no highlights and no cashmere, I doubt I would give her a second glance. Same for Beyonce. Am trying to think of an actress I would indeed notice under those circumstances - maybe Charlize?

Robin the Mad Photographer said...

She's attractive enough in that particular way, but I personally wouldn't call her "beautiful"; there are plenty of other actresses I'd put well ahead of her. Since Jennifer Lawrence really is the girl of the moment, I am a bit surprised they didn't go with her. (Having seen her from 10-12 feet away or so, I can personally attest that she is a lovely young woman, even with a bad '70s updo and makeup.) Definitely a PR move for Gwynnie... *sighs, shakes head*

delete account said...

Its not crack, Ent--
theyre dropping acid.

Molls said...

Is this proof we shouldn't believe anything they print?

Mango said...

Do you hear that? It's the sound of my eyes rolling around in my head.

lostathome said...

lol

ulalume said...

Totally agree with Sherry R. - wouldn't even skim through this issue while standing in line at the check-out!

Hazeldazel said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!! Who did her PR person have to blow to get this?!?


I mean, c'mon! She's okay looking, but her hair is seriously fried and her skin is baked and she's just... bland. Everything about her is bland and pretentious.

But no, I get it. "The World's Most Beautiful/Handsome" isn't actually being good-looking, it's about who has the most projects to push and thus who's selling the most magazines. Right now, that's Goop.

Jessi said...

Damn you people are harsh!

Jamie2 said...

Okay, here's a photo of Goop as a teenager, before she had the nose job or dye job or blue contacts.

http://bit.ly/Zln8d2

She's not ugly by any means, but beautiful? C'mon. If she hadn't been born rich and had industry ties, including Spielberg as her godfather. she'd be the mildly pretty waitress at Denny's mentioned above.

MILDRED PIERCE said...

She may come across as an entitled snobby pain in ass but she is attractive. However, most beautiful??? Nah not buying it. Gwynnie's PR are certainly working overtime it seems.

White.God.of.Fuck said...

Her mother is better looking that her. Hotter too. When her father died, her mother immediately started banging a high school boy with a big unit. Kinky.

ms snarky said...

good god.
We will never be rid of her.

Erin B said...

I don't think she's ugly, but I always thought she looks like a Simpsons character personified. When she has her mouth closed, she has an upper lip thing that is Simpson-y to me.

Hypothetical question: Is it breaking any kind of laws to mail People a bag of vomit?

Unknown said...

+ infinity

Unknown said...

LMAO!!! Good one!!

Unknown said...

A bland mediocre..

Unknown said...

I thought the exact same thing when I saw the cover!

Unknown said...

Agree!

feraltart said...

If you want to see a truly beautiful actress who is talented, look up Rosamund Pike.

Sherry said...

Okay looks at Goops picture in the post and compare it to this woman who was in the top 100 in People Magazine 2006:

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2610214144/nm0706787

Really? Really? Apparently they're stoned, high on acid and BLIND at Kneepads these days. What a fucking joke!

penelope said...

Oh please... she is NOT the world's most beautiful woman. I wonder how much money exchanged hands. What a crock of poo-poo! I refuse to read kneepads anymore (not that I read in much, just in waiting rooms).

penelope said...

"Not that I read IT much. (Sorry about the typo!)

Laura said...

I nominate Anna Kendrick instead! She is both beautiful and kind.

PS said...

World's most beautiful? I find that insulting to every single woman on the planet. Gwyneth is a stuck-up elitist bitch, who is so wrapped up in her own nonsense, she thinks sharing her crap diet and obsessive body issues makes her enviable. She has a flat ass, she slouches, she bleach fries her hair, she spends a fortune on skin treatment and fillers, and has maids, cooks, gophers, nannies and assistants. Designers, stylists, trainers, the best of everything and anything, and she tells everyone that's what it takes. Thousand dollar tshirts and hundreds and hundreds for a pair of sweats. And People crowns that nonsense? It's ugly. It's destructive and it's full of prentious bullshit. Put a hero on. Someone who helped in Boston. Someone who helped at Sandy Hook. Someone who advanced cancer research or supports education. Someone who IS actually beautiful. There is nothing beautiful about this uneducated, over privileged and over paid self absorbed twat.

Unknown said...

Standing ovation to you!!! You nailed it right on the head!!! ;-)

Ramone Love said...

Jesus, enough with the Gwynneth hate. Yeah, she's an out of touch loon, but she isn't hurting anybody by being one.

flowerpower said...

+1

Athenstraveler03 said...

I agree with the majority here. She certainly is not ugly - but the "Most Beautiful"??? So you're telling me she's more beautiful than Rachel Weisz, Monica Belluci, Halle Berry (crazy aside, there's no doubt that she is gorgeous), Marion Cotillard, Thandie Newton, Paula Patton, Rashida Jones, Michelle Rodrigues (check out some of her modeling shots, she's my girl crush for sure!), and Salma Hayek??? Yeah, ok.

Anonymous said...

Having once dated some of the most beautiful women in the world (in my long-distant prime), I feel qualified to give my $0.02.

In 2005, I listed Megan Fox #2 three years beefore she hit any lists. Now I'm going to name a future A-lister who doesn't have fame for the sole reason that she has chosen not to grab it yet. She has one major imperfection (don't we all), but nothing that would keep her off this list

Look up Rachel Maureen Eten (nee Geiman), a high-fashion model currently living in Manhattan, married to her high school sweetheart, Ryan, who coaches youth football. The whole family was raised right, and she and her brother Joel were tagged for a huge industry teen showcase in Texas a few years back; she landed in NYC after that.

Rachel is a born-again Christian who spends holidays at homeless missions cooking and serving food, when she's not busy with other charitable endeaovrs. She has literally a perfect body, is in her early twenties, an incredible mind, plus has had dancing and acting training her entire life. I think that's her in a Lady Gaga Christmas parody video you can find online.

The woman could have married anyone, or for money, but just isn't ruled by it. She's not uber-wealthy but has enough not to be obsessed with it (apparently), as a truly beautiful woman should be. She is not a famewhore or groupie, and actually chose what she believes to be a decent man for a husband, a rare trait among beautiful women today.

When -- not if -- she decides to get into acting, you can expect to see her on Broadway, then on television, and in films. How the public will react to her is anyone's guess, but I hvaen't seen a female, famous or not, who could be taken sreiously in any type of contest like that.

I do not covet my former neighbor's wife, but rather state a simple reality. She's the -- er, almost perfect female. It's as if Eve herself has been reincarnated.

Exhibit A:

http://www.fashionmodeldirectory.com/models/rachel_geiman/showphoto/233628/

That's with no makeup, no MySpace angles, in a bikini.

CASE CLOSED

p.s. -- please do not bash me for writing about her I almost never do but this was an insult to Jesus and I had to speak up. God Bless Rachel.

lutefisk said...

Put a photo of Gwyneth and her cleansed colon next to Bar Rafaeli and you then say Gwyneth is the World's most beautiful woman. She is pretty, but without her make up and hair some looks like a feral animal.

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