Monday, April 22, 2013

Blind Item #6

This newfound B list celebrity/reality star was all set to hang out with 100 kids and give them some pointers in their chosen sport. Kids and parents were all looking forward to it. Our celebrity decided to party instead and got wasted and slept with a random woman he met and missed his flight and blew off the kids and families.

42 comments:

VIPblonde said...

Ryan Lochte. Can we start talking about the magic that was "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" last night?

Eric said...

Lochte

joymama said...

Ryan.

Turkish Taffy said...

Jeah!

noseygal48 said...

He was so cute until he opened his mouth!!

VIPblonde said...

His favorite movie is "What 'Woman' Want." He apparently doesn't know that there is a plural form of woman called women

Gayeld said...

@VIP. How bad was it?

VIPblonde said...

They asked him from off-camera how many medals he's won. He couldn't answer the question. Then they flashed on the screen that he had won 11. Apparently he can't count that high

Tyler said...

Easy easy, and I have a feeling just the first of many.

Robert said...

Anyone who depends on a "reality" wannabe for anything except trying to ride his/her "fifteen minutes" deserves anything they get.

VIPblonde said...

Words that Ryan Lochte does not know the definition of, just in the first episode: Player, Douche, and Jeah. In fairness, Jeah is not a word. I hope the "words Ryan Lochte does not know the definition of" segment is in every episode!!

Unknown said...

I don't know what a male 'blue waffle' looks like, but it will probably be his member in the picture at this pace.

VIPblonde said...

@gayeld OMG, you need to watch it. It is EPIC!! I feel like whatever producer decided to give him his own show is playing a really cruel joke on him, and he's not in on it. It almost feels a little mean watching it, but that does not detract from the enjoyment!

Momster said...

What Woman Want. . .LOL!

Reminds me of a Taco Bell sign in my little Oklahoma town. . .
"Cool Ranch Taco Are Here!"

Anonymous said...

Lochte

plokzy said...

... I gotta see this show. Damn. This may be my Buckwild substitute.

NomNom83 said...

Ryan Lochte: sex idiot.

Moosefan said...

Just want to tell him, just smile, swim, and never open your mouth again.

mistang said...

So he's the male version of Jessica Simpson's dumb celebrity? Greeeeaat

trouble bubble said...

I usually respect any Olimpic champion, because of the hard work and their determination since early childhood. But Lochte... I just can't

Del Riser said...

Apparently THIS is what Ryan would do.

sandybrook said...

A typical North / Central Florida redneck dumbass.

allisonwonderland said...

Oh Ryan, what happened to being a man at night and a man in the morning too?!?

Unknown said...

+1

MalibuBarbie said...

Q. How do you drown Ryan Lochte?

A. Glue a mirror to the bottom of a swimming pool.


Gayeld said...

I may have to find a way to get must of the kids out of the house and talk Mom into a girls' night in with a pitcher of margaritas. *g*

Cory said...

Jessica Simpson may be a little ditzy but she's not stupid. She has a multi-million dollar empire that she manages very well. Ryan Lochte is just plain stupid.

Poor Kate said...

Cory--you're so right about Jessica. Except that it's a BILLION-dollar empire.

Ryan? Thousand-dollar doofus.

The BLS said...

I was saying, "Jeah!" within the first 5 seconds of reading this one....

I agree with the previous commenter who just said, "Shut up and swim!"

Unknown said...

oh yes because rednecks ONLY come from those parts of florida and NOWHERE down south. *eyeroll*

Sherry said...

Exactly Jennifer. Make fun of Ryan all you like but realize rednecks are EVERYWHERE!!

I simply must watch this show.

fritters said...

Not exactly. With Jessica, she said ditzy, ridiculous things, but you could tell that the lights were actually on upstairs. With Lochte, he literally seems brain-damaged. I'm not even saying that to be snarky. He seems almost senile. It takes him so long to form words, and he's batting like a .200 on saying coherent sentences.

timebob said...

A hex on all your houses! I didn't know this was on and now because of comments. I just watched it on demand and I am dumber because of it.

Curses to you!!

Turkish Taffy said...

Actually, Ryan is originally from Rochester, NY.
*hangs head in shame*

It doesn't speak well for University of Florida that they accepted him.

The Raving Badger said...

evade. My poor Gators. I'd have think him a Nole or a Longhorn.

Frufra said...

Guys, does anyone know if he is actually learning disabled or something? I feel badly for the guy.

Moonmaid said...

Maybe he dove into the shallow end one time too many...

Anon said...

Sure this wasn't part of the reality show? This story would make a great episode.

erika said...

i tried 5 min of that show- he is an idiot w/ a learning/speaking/thinking/'being' disability...truly self glorifying and totally clueless w racist sister to boot

Persiaa said...

VIPblonde said...
Words that Ryan Lochte does not know the definition of, just in the first episode: Player, Douche, and Jeah. In fairness, Jeah is not a word. I hope the "words Ryan Lochte does not know the definition of" segment is in every episode!!

Sounds like a drinking game.

Bluezz said...

@trouble bubble Thank you!

MsWool said...

is it possible that he's faking it? Hard to believe someone is actually that dumb.

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